


Mornings aren't my Thing

by clairedelalunex



Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Addiction, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Avengers Family, BAMF Pepper Potts, BAMF Steve Rogers, Bad Science, Clint Is a Good Bro, Cuddling, Deaf Clint Barton, Disability, Domestic Avengers, Drug Use, Dubious Consent, Extremis, F/M, Flashbacks, Forced Drug Use, Friends to Lovers, Hurt Tony Stark, Insomnia, Kidnapping, M/M, Mad Science, Mother Hen Steve, Natasha Is a Good Bro, Nightmares, Non-Consensual, Poor Tony, Rape, Rape Non-Con, Recovery, Science, Sleep Deprivation, Slow Burn, Team as Family, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Whump, Torture, concerned steve, dubcon, hostage, non-con, steve and jarvis become bffs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2019-04-08 08:26:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 33
Words: 111,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14101380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clairedelalunex/pseuds/clairedelalunex
Summary: After a very brief soiree in a factory this time, Tony makes some discoveries about who and what he's worth as a person and learns a few other things along the way. Whether he wants to or not. He tries to mind, he really does. But Steve has strong arms.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Rating and warnings may change as this progresses. More tags will be added.  
> First time writing Marvel! Kind of nervous and excited at the same time!

There were many things that Tony Stark was- playboy, billionaire, philanthropist, futurist and an Avenger. The list could go on, and honestly his ego was big enough to allow it to. But the one thing he wasn’t; was a morning person. Sure when he pulled all-nighters or went on seventy-two hour creation binges he had it all together in the mornings, but most of that was because he hadn’t been to bed and he didn’t need to go through the effort of waking up. The moment he opened his eyes and lifted his head from whatever surface had used as a pillow the night before the struggle began; he blinked like an owl and groaned as he pushed himself to sitting.

This morning he had woken up at his workbench, the indentations of a screwdriver pressed in to his cheek and a crusty pile of drool collected in the corner of his mouth and running down his chin. Groaning he rubbed at it, opening and closing his mouth like a fish out of water to try and generate some moisture and failing. Abandoning his dry mouth and drool patch he stretched his hands above his head and purred like cat when several vertebrae gave a satisfying pop followed by both shoulder joints. He was getting to old to fall asleep at his workbench like this.

‘J what time is it?’ He mumbled, standing up and scratching the back of his head vacantly as he looked for his coffee cup. His eyes alighted on several; he walked over to them and looked inside to find mostly mould and cold dregs which suspicious oil rings in them. He suspected DUM-E.

‘Good morning sir, it is six forty five in the morning today is Wednesday and you slept for approximately  two hours, you had previously been awake for a record breaking eighty hours, may I suggest you try and get some more sleep in a proper bed?’ Tony looked up at the ceiling, smirking. He loved Jarvis, but sometimes he was just too nosy.

‘No can do J, things to do, company to run you know the drill.’

‘Of course sir.’ Jarvis answered demurely. ‘Should I alert Captain Rogers to how long you have been awake sir?’ There was too much sass in that AI, Tony couldn’t have been more proud if he weren’t so offended.

‘That offer to donate you to a community college is still out there Jarvis, don’t push it. Who’s up?’ He walked over to the elevator, giving up on the hope of finding any coffee that was acceptable to drink down here. He would have to brave the communal kitchen if he wanted his brain to kick in to gear and start functioning. He leaned lazily against the wall of the elevator as he descended.

‘Captain Rogers has just returned from his run and making waffles in the kitchen, agents Romanoff and Barton are beginning to show signs of waking up and Dr Banner is locked down in his lab not allowing visitors. Thor’s whereabouts are unknown at this moment.’ That was ominous, Tony was sure it would be on the news soon enough where the God of Thunder had gone off to in the night. He rarely ventured out of the tower on his own after Fury had put him through the verbal ringer for causing a media meltdown over a trip the beach.

‘Are the waffles gluten free?’ Tony asked hopeful, stomach growling its approval at the question. When was the last time he had eaten?

‘Thirty two hours ago sir, you have been running on coffee and fumes.’ Huh he’d said that out loud. ‘As for the waffles I am unsure.’

That meant he would be required to use actual words to talk to Steve, food wasn’t important until he got his caffeine fix. ‘Start the coffee J,’ Tony announced as he stepped out of the elevator and spotted Steve working at the kitchen bench, waffle mix being stirred professionally in a glass bowl. ‘Daddy needs his fuel.’ He stepped in to the kitchen and smiled dopily at Steve who returned the small smile with an amused look on his face.

‘You’re up early.’ Steve commented, Tony just grunted back as he moved to the coffee maker and watched the amber coloured drips languidly. His brain currently felt a lot like that, dripping from skull slowly as he attempted to wake up some more. ‘Would you like to join me for breakfast?’ Tony just grunted again and Steve laughed lightly, nudging him out of the way with a shoulder to reach up to cupboard and withdraw to large mugs.

Tony’s brain kicked over when he saw them, one bore the captains shield and the other one Tony’s arc reactor. Where on earth had they come from? He took the offered mug from Steve’s hand and stared at stupidly, it was too early to compute this or how they had made their way in to the tower at all. Clint probably bought them as a prank.

‘Pepper brought them last week, said she found them when she was out getting lunch and said she couldn’t resist. Was meaning to give you yours earlier, but getting you out of the workshop for anything short of an emergency, we all have one.’ Steve looked far too pleased with his mug as he smiled down at it, and that’s when Tony noticed the little chibi characters painted on the other side. He turned his mug around and yep, there he was in miniature form with too large eyes and an adorable little armour.

‘Holy shit.’ He mumbled, staring down at it. Pepper had brought these; Pepper who had complained and showed outrage when Tony had hung a portrait of the armour in his Malibu workshop. Huh, how things had changed since then. The cup was tilted upright and Steve was filling it with rice coffee that filtered up through his nostrils. He move on auto to the fridge, pulling out the hazelnut creamer and topping up the mug before taking a deep gulp and deflating against the counter in relief. ‘Mmmm.’ He moaned, almost seductively and smiled happily up at Steve who had oddly gone a little pink around the ears.

They stood in companionable silence as Tony made a second mug off coffee and Steve cooked the waffles, a large skillet of bacon and another stocked full of frying eggs. Breakfast wasn’t something Tony usually indulged in; he normally took his coffee and scampered off. But he was running dangerously empty and figured he needed more than fumes and caffeine to get through the rest of the day. Plus he was more than content right now to sit there and watch Steve methodically flip waffles out of the maker and turn eggs over before he moved to the fridge and pulled out a large collection of fruit. Did Tony order all of that food or was someone with a health conscious (Steve) hacking the shopping list?

Not that he was opposed to fruit, especially as a man that lived more on smoothies then anything solid. But that was a large quantity Steve was now breaking down in to perfect little cubes.

‘Gracing us with your presence today Stark?’ Clint Barton dropped down on the stall next to him, hair rumpled and dressed in a faded t-shirt and pair of silk boxers with cartoon faces; his feet were adorned with large green Hulk slippers. Tony let out a small snicker to cover up his minute jump of fright to the other man’s sudden presence.

‘Nice booties.’ He shot back, sipping his coffee.

He couldn’t hide the jump this time when a hand landed in his hair, ruffling it affectionately. Nat slunk down in the seat on the other side of him, smirking as she looked down at Clint’s feet. ‘You’re just jealous you don’t have a pair.’

‘When exactly did we start buying apparel?’ Tony lifted his mug with the cute caricature as support to his confusion. Tash just smirked at him again and stole some fruit from the large bowl Steve was filling, winking when he batted her away.

‘You gotta admit they’re pretty great.’ Clint said, hopping up and opening the same cupboard Steve had gotten their own from and retrieving his and Natasha’s. Tony was mildly curious to peak at their cute little cartoon as well.

‘Sir, Miss Potts has asked me to remind you that have a meeting with the board in three hours.’ Jarvis cut in as the Avengers shared their cute mugs, it was an oddly domesticated moment, if the villains of the world were to see them now scattered around the kitchen in various stages of undress (Natasha was wearing a hello kitty nightie) and stealing fruit from the bowl as they chattered over their coffee cups; they would never be taken seriously again as earths mightiest heroes.  

‘Thanks J, is it in the building or am I travelling?’ Tony asked, moving back to the coffee machine. Steve gave him a disapproving look as he poured his fourth cup for the morning. It was hard to take someone with bed head and a track suit so tight fitting seriously though. So he just winked back, leaned over and snagged bacon straight from the pain to munch on.

‘It is a breakfast meeting Sir, three blocks away.’ Tony groaned, he was tired and hungry now. He didn’t want to wait for breakfast with a bunch of suits he didn’t like when there was perfectly edible food right here in front of him and people he much more preferred to be in the company of. Not to mention actually leaving the tower would mean the press, and putting more effort than normal in to his appearance for the public eye.

‘It won’t hurt you to eat twice Tony, join us for breakfast first. Lord knows the las time you ate an actual meal, two breakfasts surely couldn’t be a bad thing.’ Steve supplied, taking Tony by the shoulders and steering him back to his seat at the bench, removing the cup of coffee and replacing it with juice.

Tony just grumbled, putting the juice down and flopping his head on the counter with a thud. He hated mornings, he wasn’t a morning person and people were already asking too much of him and the resident super soldier just took his coffee away. ‘When did you last sleep?’ Someone asked above his head, but he ignored them in return for sulking and mourning the loss of his coffee.

‘In the past eighty hours sir has slept for two.’ Jarvis supplied chirpily from the ceiling, sounding far too happy about the situation he had just placed Tony in. He didn’t need to lift his head to see the look of disapproval on everyone’s face; he could feel it burning through his eyelids.

‘I’m putting you in a toaster Jarvis, that’s it.’ He grumbled, admitting defeat and sitting up. Clint looked vaguely impressed, Natasha slightly appalled before she schooled her features to cool indifference and Steve was frowning at him with sad puppy dog eyes, which okay, threw Tony a bit, because why was he sad?

He expected a fight but Steve’s shoulders simply slumped and he looked up at the ceiling with exasperation. ‘Jarvis how important is the breakfast with the board?’ Steve asked completely going over Tony’s head with the question.

‘Unfortunately sir must attend this one; Miss Potts wouldn’t have requested his appearance otherwise.’ Jarvis stated, almost sounding regretful. If anyone got on Tony’s case about his poor sleeping habits more than Steve it was Jarvis. Tony knew for a fact the two of them went behind his back to scheme ways to get him to sleep. The only reason he had gotten away with this recent binge was because had put the workshop on lockdown and full blackout from the other Avengers unless there was an emergency.

‘As soon as you get back Tony, you’re going to bed even if I have to tie you to it or sit on you to make you go to sleep.’ Clint snickered at Steve’s stern words and Tony just groaned. This was his life now; this was the price he paid for housing the rag tag team of super heroes and assassins in his home. They never let him do anything fun anymore.

‘Laugh all you want Barton, I’ll remember that next time you come to me wanting new arrow heads.’ Tony snarked back, sitting up a little straighter when Steve placed a loaded plate in front of him, bacon and eggs piled high on two thick waffles and a bowl of fruit salad. He picked up his fork and dug in, he was starving and the smell was making his mouth water.

They sat in relative silence as they ate, talking occasionally about mundane things. Like where Clint got his slippers, because yeah, Tony kinda did want a pair of them for himself. When they had finished eating, Jarvis piped up happily to remind Tony he now only had one hour to attend the breakfast meeting. He couldn’t even remember what it was for, or why the board were meeting outside of the office.

All the food Steve had put on his plate had filled him up and now he was even more tired. His body sluggish and slow to react as he fumbled the buttons of his shirt and had to do his tie twice before he got it right. He felt heavy and content, a bad mixture for board meetings. He usually got in trouble at them regardless of how he was feeling, he had a propensity for not knowing when to close his mouth or hold back a snarky remark. Pepper scolded him more often than not, but today he had a feeling it was going to be the opposite. He was too tired to form a coherent sentence.

Undoing his tie for the third time, someone came in the bedroom behind him and he looked around, wincing at the light pull around his arc reactor. It always hurt more when he was this worn down, his breath a little more shallow and wheezy through the exhaustion. Steve quirked his eye brows at him as Tony tried to get his hands to something that came naturally to him, but the tie just didn’t want to cooperate.

Steve took pity on him in the end, doing it for him and helping him in to his suit jacket. ‘Tony you need to stop working yourself in to the ground like this, I am almost willing to face the wrath of Miss Potts right now and put you to bed.’ Tony laughed at that, lips quirking. ‘It’s not just about the meetings either, your work is important but you need to remember you are an Avenger too, and we rely on you as well to have our backs on the field. You can’t do that if you’re so tired a tie is besting you.’

Tony rolled his eyes, he couldn’t help it. He had been expecting this little lecture over breakfast, when Jarvis had tattled on him. But Steve seemed to respect him enough to do it in private rather than in front of the others at least, so that was something.

‘Sorry Capsicle it won’t happen again, I just got caught up in the work is all.’ Tony gave him a quick part on the shoulder before turning back to his appearance, making sure he was presentable before heading to elevator; Jarvis had informed him a few minutes ago that Happy was downstairs waiting for him. It was only three blocks but he was already pushing it to make it on time and he was too tired to walk. He hated mornings. ‘Pick this charming lecture up when I get back? Maybe I’ll even take you up on that offer to tie me to bed.’ He winked, watched the blush rise up Steve’s neck and pink his cheeks before he gave a little wave and let the elevator doors close.

Riling Steve up was one of his favourite past times, beside that blush never got old and Tony had a soft spot for seeing it, especially as he had a special skill at inducing it. The Captain could be adorable under all that stern patriotism.

Happy was standing by a town care patiently, hands crossed in front of him as Tony came in to view. ‘Morning Boss.’ He said, standing aside to open the door as Tony responded with a jaw cracking yawn. He hoped wherever they were going had a lot of coffee, nice strong, black coffee that he could down by the bucketful. ‘Late night?’ Happy asked, holding the door as he looked at Tony with a tiny hint of concern.

‘Lost track of the work is all; I’ve slept though, s’all good.’ He slurred, leaning back in to the plush leather and closing his eyes as Happy shut the door and got behind the wheel. Three blocks in New York traffic could get him a quick fifteen minute power nap, but he wasn’t sure whether to risk it. Odds that Happy wouldn’t be able to wake him up again after so long between siestas was high. He squeezed the short, manicured nails of his left hand in to his palm letting the small sting wake him up a little.

It didn’t last though, he felt his eyes slipping closed as the engine purred beneath him and the hum of the city sounds, muted a little through the windows lulled him peacefully. He was so tired; it was only nine in the morning. Just as he was about to slip in to sleep he was jolted awake with the force of the car spinning before tipping over completely, he hadn’t put his seatbelt on when he get in. His hands scrabbled for purchase on the leather seats but he rolled with the car, hearing Happy swear as he too was thrown around before another sharp impact had the car sliding and coming to a stop heavily, the windows broken and shattered, letting in the bright morning sunshine.

Lying on the roof of the car, feeling blood oozing from numerous unpleasant places on his body, Tony blinked dazedly, groaning at the mess of pain he was in before noticing the black boots heading towards them, they stopped outside the broken windows crunching glass under heavy soles before the door was torn open. He didn’t see their faces or hear anything they were saying, ears ringing and vision blurring as he tried to struggle away but they grabbed his leg and pulled, pain exploding outwards.

He wasn’t tired now, Tony realised. But he really wasn’t a morning person he thought as he lost consciousness.

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

They didn’t let him stay unconscious for very long, which was a shame because Tony had a sleep deficit that he needed to catch up on, he didn’t know how long he had been out for but it certainly wasn’t enough. His brain felt thoroughly muddled, like a dirty martini extra dry. But he supposed rolling around in a car without his seatbelt on would do that, which then led his poor brain to Happy and whether or not the other man was okay. He hadn’t spotted him in the brief time Tony had been able to see anything, before they’d put a shroud over his eyes that blocked out all light. He had been dragged unceremoniously through a very brightly lit hallway, leaving behind a macabre smear of his own vivid red blood on the white floors.

Right now he didn’t know where he was or what was going on, but he was hanging by his arms, blinded and quite possibly in nothing but his boxers. Even without his sight he was dizzy and suffering from vertigo, it seriously felt as though his brain was slowly leaking from his ears and there was even a warm dribble that could be his actual brain matter dripping down his neck. It was unpleasant to say the least.

That wasn’t even accounting for the rest, his hands were numb and slick where he hung on them, feet struggling to find purpose on the floor. He had to be bleeding heavily from somewhere, his skin was damp and sticky with it and it was a big reason he couldn’t find his footing in it on the floor. One of his legs was broken, or at least had a very decent bruise and muscle damage. It was agony whenever he accidentally placed his weight on it. His whole middle section was just written off for now. He couldn’t even bring himself to deal with that right now, his head and the pressure on his arms was taking precedence.

Plus his concern over Happy. Poor, innocent Happy who had been caught up in whatever this was. He hoped he was alive, that maybe he had been spared and left behind. If he had even survived the accident, Happy at least had been wearing his stupid seatbelt. Tony was never getting in a car without his seatbelt on ever again after this. Nuh-uh, no thank you.

Trying to find purchase on the ground again he cried out in pain when he put pressure on his leg (definitely broken he swore he felt bone move) and all his weight went down on his arms. It burned. His shoulder joint was out of place, he hadn’t noticed before but now that he was hanging so heavily on it, it definitely wasn’t sitting in the right place. Which at least accounted for some of the numbness in his fingers of that hand, which set off screaming klaxons in the back of his battered brain? He couldn’t bring himself to work out why though and tried to get his one good foot under him again.

He didn’t know how long he hung there like that, but eventually a door opened and footsteps echoed around him. This was usually the moment where they announced their intentions, whether they wanted him to build weapons for them, access to his iron man armour or arc reactor technology or just simply wanted money. This wasn’t Tony’s first rodeo with kidnapping, including his very long stint in a cave in Afghanistan recently. The men hadn’t said anything yet though, which was unnerving to say in the least. But he held steady in his own silence, not giving them an inch of satisfaction that their weird scare tactics were unsettling him.

‘Anthony Stark.’ That voice was familiar, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. He felt a hand touch his side and couldn’t help the flinch that followed. It trailed up his flank, across his ribcage and settled beside his arc reactor. He was panicking now, even on a good day when he wasn’t being held hostage nobody was allowed to put their hands this close to his heart, not even women or men that he entwined in one night stands. He felt his whole body tense up.

‘What do you want?’ He hissed, trying to move away from the hand that was touching him almost lovingly now, tracing the scarring and raised flesh surrounding the casing, he grit his teeth against the foreign touch.

The man, it was definitely a man, practically purred against his discomfort and dug his nails in slightly. ‘I have what I want, right here.’ The man whispered, hot breath brushing against Tony’s chest as his hands trailed further down his body and settling on his hips. ‘Everything else you have to offer me is just a bonus.’

They stood (hung) in silence for a moment, warm hands still on his hips as thumbs massaged in to the bloody flesh. Tony was trying very hard not to move now, draw attention to himself. He didn’t like where he thought this was going.

‘Depending on how well behaved you are for me, is how well you are treated. Do you understand Anthony?’ He hated being called that, he had gone by Tony for so long now that hearing his full name said so seductively put him right on edge. His body was screaming at him to retreat. He thrashed around, trying not to cry out over the pain in his body but the hands just grabbed him tighter, holding him down and applying too much pressure to his wrists and shoulders, fingers digging in to the firm skin of his waist.

‘Come Anthony don’t be this way. If you behave I will allow you proper medical treatment, this doesn’t have to be difficult or painful for you.’ He still couldn’t pin that voice. ‘If you had been wearing your seatbelt in the first place, you wouldn’t even be in this state.’ They knew he was going to be on the road, this had been planned. Was it someone from the board that had spurred this to happen, his head was spinning with possibilities.

‘Get the fuck away from me.’ He roared, suddenly kicking out, screaming when his leg was simply grabbed and pressure applied to the broken bone. He almost blacked out from the pain, but he wasn’t that lucky, not that he was sure he wanted to be unconscious around this strange man who had his hands in places they shouldn’t be, touching him like a lover would. ‘Stop touching me like I’m your property.’ He hissed as much venom in his words as his bleeding brain would let him.

‘Ah but you see Anthony, you are my property now, mine to do with as I please. If you won’t play along like a good little boy should then I will have to chastise you like a naughty boy.’ The hands retreated before the shroud was removed from his head, but it didn’t make any difference, everything was too bright and too blurry for him to make any sense of it.

Panicked, Tony threw his head around and blinked his eyes to clear his vision but he couldn’t get them to focus, and then a cold blast of water hit him, hard. Right in his abdomen before moving to cover his whole body, thoroughly drenching him and the pressure slamming him back against a wall he hadn’t known was there.

‘Make sure he’s clean boys, all that blood is ruining the portrait.’ He could barely hear over the spray of water that hit him in the face. He gagged, it went in his mouth and down his throat, in to his lungs and he was drowning. He couldn’t breathe through it and he panicked, for a moment he was back in the cave again. He wished he had access to his hands to protect his chest, the battery. Then the water was gone, he was coughing it up, feeling it run down his chin. Vision even blurrier then before, which wasn’t helping his mounting panic that he was back in the cave.

Hands appeared on him again, he blinked his eyes at the blurred figures that expertly patted him dry. One minute he was hanging and the next he was dropped violently on the floor, shuddering and gasping against the cold. ‘Fix his arm, we need his hands working.’ That was all the warning he got. Pain exploded in his shoulder joint as someone applied pressure and he felt the joint pop back in place, muscles tearing against the pressure as he was dropped back to the floor again. He was cold and wet, panting desperately against the pain.

‘Get him up, put him in the cell.’ Tony felt hands under his armpits, putting him on feet which immediately decided that no, nope they weren’t supporting his weight right now and he dropped straight back to his knees with a grunt. There was no way he was going to be able to walk anywhere right now, he was exhausted and as he’d discovered earlier his leg was indeed broken and he wanted none of it.

He had been taking very publically. There was no chance the Avengers didn’t know already, they would be tracking him as they spoke (grunted), and he would be out of here in no time. He just had to be patient, play by their rules as little as possible to avoid further injury and bide his time. In the meantime though, he made it perfectly clear to whomever these men were that he wasn’t standing up on his own steam. Wasn’t happening. It didn’t help his eyesight still hadn’t cleared; there was nothing but fuzzy blobs and indistinct shapes all around him.

They picked him up again, holding him under his armpits and dragged him. He deliberately made himself deadweight, satisfied when he heard them grunt a little to pull him along. He may be short but he made up for that in muscle bulk, he had to be in tip top condition to fly Iron Man. He was unceremoniously dumped on the floor, pulled against a wall to lean against. While he had thought that was it, and he was going to be left there they placed something around his neck and he choked as they used it to hoist him to his feet. They slackened the grip when he was almost on his toes, allowed him a second to find his footing.

‘You haven’t behaved Anthony, I am truly sorry to do this to you but until you learn some manners this will be your punishment. Unfortunately your hands are of importance so we can’t risk them with restraint. Maybe after a night like this you will think better of disobeying.’

Tony put his feet flat on the floor and was filled with panic when the rope tightened around his throat, completely cutting off his air supply. He struggled back to the balls of his feet and coughed, drawing in deep wet breaths. They couldn’t do this, his leg was broken, and he couldn’t stay standing all night. He’d pass out or fall asleep and then he would die. He still couldn’t see properly, he didn’t know if they had done something to his eyes but they were still blurry and he was panicking, breaths coming hard and fast; straining against the arc reactor as his heart beat a mile a minute. At this rate he would probably die of a heart attack first.

‘I am very interested to learn more about this, it’s so fascinating.’ The hand was back on his chest again, circling the reactor lightly, almost seductive as another hand settled back at his wait in the dip between hipbone and ribcage. It was possessive and sensual; Pepper used to put her hand there when they stood close to each other, this man didn’t have the right to be so intimate. He tried to move away but the rope around his neck didn’t allow for any range of movement.

The man just kept talking, taking no notice of his discomfort at all. ‘Whenever I would catch a glimpse of it, I would sit there and wonder what it looked like up close like this, how it worked. At one point I even imagined it would be a clear window directly to your heart. But then I would imagine that ladder climbing whore having as much access to it as she wanted, it made me so jealous.’ He purred, moving his hand up from Tony’s waist to cup the back of his head tightly. ‘Now here I am, finally, with you at my mercy and this beautiful beam of light all to myself.’

Tony wasn’t sure he could keep his cool much longer. This was straying in to territory he was not comfortable with. No matter how many times he had been kidnapped or held hostage not one of them had made sexual advances on him, they may have leered or made threats towards it but none of them had laid hands on him like this. Spoken to him like a long lover or caressed him. Short of a few close calls involving drugs and alcohol sex had never been taken past his own consent.

For once in his life, Tony was properly terrified as the hand by the reactor trailed down his stomach and settled on the waist line of his boxers that hot breath still close to his neck as wet lips briefly touched against the sensitive flesh there. 


	3. Chapter 3

By now Steve was ready to punch one of the many nameless agents that filled the conference room. They had been convened here for the past twenty-four hours and made zero headway. Nothing. They were still at square one, fixated on the car accident that had resulted in Tony being kidnapped. Less than one block from the Avengers tower, practically right under their noses and that’s all they had.

Someone had t-boned the luxurious town car, ploughed right through it; flipping it over and over on the CCTV footage they had acquired before it had been struck once more before it had come to a stop against a street lamp. Men had converged on the wreck then, wrenching the passenger door still accessible from its hinges before dragging out by the ankle. They hadn’t been mindful of the glass and metal on the road, just pulled him over to a van and thrown him in the back like a sack of potatoes. Tony had already been unconscious by then, obviously bleeding from the video.

Luckily Happy had escaped with minor scrapes and abrasions and a broken arm and nose, he was sitting in the room with them now looking shame faced. Steve felt for him, he knew it was Happy’s job to protect Tony. Even though nobody took his job seriously, being body guard to Iron Man was laughable to a lot of people. But not to Steve, he respected and liked Happy Hogan and his heart went out to him right now.

Taking a deep breath to even out his temper Steve walked over to him and placed a comforting hand on the older man’s shoulder. ‘This wasn’t your fault Happy, we’ll find him.’ He sat down in the seat next to him, casting his eyes around. The agents were bustling but it all seemed to be so pointless. There had been no number plates on the van, all they had was a make and model, paint colour and the vague description of men dressed in black gear, faces covered as they dragged Tony away. The truck that had caused the accident held no leads either, the driver had been found behind the wheel with a bullet in his skull.

Whoever these people were they knew what they were doing and were covering their tracks expertly. Nobody on the street had even caught a glimpse of the faces behind the masks; they were at a complete dead end. Twenty four hours and nothing to show but a gory video of the incident.

All the Avengers were there in the room, posted at different spots. Natasha was with Pepper Potts, moving between comforting the distraught woman and taking phone calls from contacts. Clint was viewing the video over and over, using his hawk’s eye to see if they had missed anything from the initial viewing, tracking the van to a point on other cameras throughout the city.

That was the most frustrating part, they had managed to track the van for a few miles and then a corner had been taken and it was gone. They had sent agents out to the area but there was nothing, no trace of the vehicle anywhere. It had them all baffled, Coulson had even gone so far as to throw his hands in the air and yell down at the younger agents before sending them out again to go over their steps. It had been fruitless.

Steve had been pacing before sitting with Happy, moving up and down the room like a predator with pent up rage. This couldn’t have been happening, how could Tony have been taken right from under their noses? What were they missing? The door opened and Bruce walked in, looking flustered as he cast his eyes around for everyone. Steve slapped Happy on the arm once more before getting up and walking over to him.

‘Bruce.’ He said, hopeful that maybe he had been able to find something they had missed.

‘I couldn’t find anything, but something about this isn’t right. To stage a car accident like that, they needed to know Tony was going to be leaving the tower and when.’ Steve raised his eyebrows, was that what they were missing? Did Stark Industries have a leak?

‘So you think someone on the inside orchestrated this?’ Steve asked, voice low as he cast his gaze over to Pepper who was taking quickly in to her phone.

‘From what I’ve heard this wouldn’t be the first time someone has tried to take control of SI through removing Tony from the picture. But yes, I think someone knew exactly where Tony was going to be at what time.’ Steve closed his eyes and ran a hand through his hair, messing it up. ‘We need to let Pepper and Coulson know, they could have an idea who has been more upset with Tony lately, more than normal anyway.’ Steve smirked at that, the man did have an infuriating habit of inducing anger in people. Himself included.

But they had been moving past that the past few weeks, becoming more friends than enemies. Steve might even go so far as to say Tony had even been trying to flirt with him to an extent, the things he said making Steve blush from toes to ears with the kind of thoughts his words would induce in his head.

Now wasn’t the time for him to be thinking about that though, he needed to get his head in the game or there was a chance he was never going to get to explore any of it with the man again. If they didn’t get Tony back there would be no more flirting to blush over.

With that thought in mind he went with Bruce to speak with Coulson and Pepper, sharing the discovery with them that Bruce had made. Pepper narrowed her eyes, tapping her fingers on her phone screen as she thought about it; her eyes were red and puffy. They had tried to stop her from watching the video of Tony being taken but she was a force to be reckoned with. Steve didn’t know she and Tony were so close still, he had been under the impression that their break up had been messy. But Pepper had been devastated by this, the same as the rest of them.

‘Tony upsets a lot of people; he has a way with words and ignoring every important meeting that sets everyone on edge.’ Pepper told them, face unamused. ‘But I can say for certain it was very out of character to have an important meeting outside of the office, especially for breakfast. Usually with big things like this it’s a luncheon and a big affair. Book out a restaurant, big. But this was to discuss budgeting for departments, not something that should be taken lightly or done in public. I’ll see if I can find out who pushed for it.’ With that she turned and left, phone at her ear already as she moved through the doors.

‘Good find Bruce.’ Coulson supplied, he looked tired and worn. None of them had slept sine Tony had been taken. Steve tried to smile for positive affirmation but found he just couldn’t do it. His mind was reeling with the possibility that someone Tony potentially trusted had brought this on them. What they could be doing to him right now, or if he was receiving proper medical treatment. He had looked so bad on the video when they had pulled him out.

Running his hands through his hair again Steve let out a gusty sigh. ‘Whoever did this knew he was taking the car, when he left and what car he left in. Tony is never one time for anything short of an Avengers mission, everyone knows how little time he has for board meetings. How did they know when to strike?’ Coulson studied him when he said that, and Bruce raised his eyebrows but didn’t comment. Steve wanted to shout at them for just standing there staring at him, why weren’t they doing anything to find their friend?

‘That’s a good point; I’ll inform Miss Potts when she returns. Hopefully whenever that happens we have a lead to follow.’ Coulson turned away and moved back to the laptop he had been working on.

‘When did you last get some sleep Steve?’ Bruce asked, looking up at him with concern. He didn’t have time for this; they needed to be out there looking for Tony.

Shifting on the spot and looking around the bustling room again Steve felt uneasy. ‘How can I sleep knowing he’s out there? Last time someone took him he ended up with that thing in his chest, who knows what they are doing this time, and there hasn’t been a ransom note yet I don’t understand.’ Bruce took him by the arm and led him over to some seats, walked over to a table of refreshments and poured him a cup of tea, coming back to force it in to his hands with a stern _drink_.

‘We’ll find him Steve.’ Bruce nudged him to drink his tea but he didn’t know if he could stomach it. ‘Tony is stronger than he looks; he’s been through a lot. I’m sure this will just be a small blip in the road and we’ll get him back very soon, this is a promising lead.’ Bruce patted him on the knee, squeezing just above for some support before he pushed the cup towards his mouth with a knowing look.

‘I tried to look at his file on SHIELD but I think Tony had gotten there first and edited it, I wanted to know more about the re-reactor thing in his chest but it just outlined the basics. Part of me was curious about what else happened when he was in Afghanistan, but it was all gone. Now I’m stuck sitting here thinking about the way prisoners of war were treated in my time and imaging Tony going through that.’ He hadn’t meant to be but he crushed the polystyrene cup in his hand, spilling the lukewarm contents over his hand and legs.

‘They water boarded him, beat him until he did what they wanted. The arc reactor came as a response of his own missile blowing up in front of him. They operated on him in a cave with no medications and he was awake for a lot of it.’ Bruce supplied, and Steve cringed at the details. He could remember men in his unit crying out in pain till a medic delivered pain medication to them, sometimes it would go on for hours and Steve would want to run and cry.

He couldn’t imagine Tony going through that alone in a foreign country. His stomach twisted in despair. Was that what he was going through now?

‘God… Bruce. You don’t think they’d try and remove it do you? He’d die if they did right?’ Steve panicked, imagining them finding Tony on the ground surrounded by blood and all alone with a massive hole in his chest. They couldn’t find him like that; none of them would ever live it down.

Bruce took his hand this time, the dry one without the spilled tea and squeezed it hard. ‘Don’t think like that Steve, you can’t afford to think like that. Thoughts like that get people killed.’ Steve digested that the best he could, nodding his head. ‘The fact that Pepper hasn’t received a ransom yet is a good thing, it means they have a use for Tony and that in turns means he is moderately safe. They won’t kill a man they can use.’ Steve could see the logic in that, it didn’t help but it did make him feel a little bit better.

‘Thanks.’ He mumbled, looking down at his hands.

They sat in companionable silence for a moment, before Pepper bustled back in to the room again looking flustered and red in the face, through Steve couldn’t tell if from anger or embarrassment. He stood up and walked over to her as she began speaking rapidly with Coulson. He caught the tail end of their conversation.

‘-they’re protecting their own.’ Steve heard her finish and he perked up at that. Who was protecting who?

‘What’s going on?’ Steve asked, looking between them desperately. He needed something to do, something hands on that he could preferably beat. Natasha came over and stood with him, a hand on his arm as Bruce walked over slowly. ‘Do we have something?’

‘We might, but it’s going to take a bit more than angry CEO, even if I am in charge of their jobs they’re more scared for their lives by the sounds of it, nobody would budge.’ Pepper informed him, looking tired and defeated as she sank down in to a chair that Coulson pulled over for her, Natasha walked away to get her a coffee and settled on the edge of the desk.

‘Phil could this be a job for the Widow?’ (Please let it be) Steve thought, Natasha looked more than willing, otherwise she wouldn’t have asked. Steve was grateful that she had. He wasn’t sure the board members would have appreciated having him show up at their door and using his fists to get answers, at least Natasha was easier on the eye in the interim before she asked her questions.

‘Alright, do it.’ Phil nodded and Natasha shot up fluidly, with a feline grace Steve had never seen in another woman and left the room. He knew that despite Tony’s outward appearance around Tasha, they both got on well and had a deep seated respect for one another. It was no surprise Natasha was offering herself up as the widow to get to Tony.

Steve just wished there was something more he himself could do, there was no room for an all American super soldier in this mission of stealth, he couldn’t go undercover and trick answers from people. He relied on brute force and his fists were appropriate, he had nothing but time to sit idly by and twiddle his thumbs while he thought up poorer and poorer scenarios as to what they were doing to Tony.

Two hours after Natasha had taken off, Clint jumped up from his perch in front of the screen with a woot, and Steve about jumped clean out of his skin at the shock of noise. The room had gone quiet an hour ago, only the most dedicated still remained at their temporary stations in the search. Steve had started to drift off against the wall, legs stretched out in front of him on the floor. He stood up quickly, a wave of vertigo hitting him as the blood tried to evenly pump. Bruce was by his side though, a supportive hand on his elbow as they went over to their fellow team(house)mate.

‘What have you got Clint?’ Phil asked, rubbing his eyes and lifting oily coffee to his lips, Steve watched him grimace at the taste and winced. Maybe he could go up the Avengers personal floors and bring down some proper coffee for those that remained. He had acquired a liking for the instant stuff, but Tony had shut that down very quickly and introduced him to fine roasted beans. They had different flavours, Tony had explained to him, like a good wine with fruity undertones and hints of chocolate.

Of course Tony worked out his favourite one and made sure the kitchen on his floor was fully stocked. He never did remember to say thank you to the man.

‘They didn’t dump the van, because it wasn’t the type of van we thought it was.’ Clint stated, pointing to the screen at something none of the others could see, Steve squinted but it was no use. He just saw a long panel van. ‘Look closely at the panelling.’ Clint urged, and then he saw it. A van that’s not a van.

‘Fake panelling.’ Steve declared.

‘Four-wheel drive.’ Clint followed. ‘The reason nobody could find anything is because-,’ he fast forwarded the video and pointed to a new  vehicle that was turning out of the alleyway, they hadn’t spotted it before because it wasn’t what they had been looking for. ‘-go back to the alleyway and look for false panelling they could have slipped up, not expected us to realise what happened and left behind finger prints.’ Clint cracked a wide yawn that made Steve’s own jaw ache in sympathy.

‘Good job Hawkeye, maybe you should turn in for the night. Catch five hours at least if you can and then report back here, understood?’ Clint looked like he was going to protest but Bruce shook his head in the corner of Steve’s eye and he just nodded and hopped off his seat to head for the door.

‘Steve you should try and get some sleep too, you aren’t going to be any good to anybody in this condition.’ Phil said, staring at the still image. ‘You are always lecturing Tony about the risk to his and the teams health when he doesn’t sleep enough.’ Steve conceded to that, he couldn’t argue against his own solid argument.

‘Will you call me if something comes up, no matter when?’ He asked, still weary of going to bed when he knew Tony was out there somewhere.

‘You’ve been awake for forty hours Steve; we haven’t gotten anything else yet. Odds are you won’t miss anything getting at least five hours yourself. Just like you ordered Clint too.’ Steve nodded and admitted defeat.

‘Get some sleep yourself Phil, someone needs to be the glue right now and I don’t think I am capable of that the moment.’ Phil gave him a surprised look, which softened around the edges. Steve looked away, uncomfortable for a moment. Surely there was no way Phil had seen right through that and knew, he couldn’t know. But he was a perceptive man and Steve didn’t doubt for a moment that he had worked it out, even if he himself hadn’t until the genius had been taken from under their noses.

‘Sleep well Captain.’ Was all Phil said a knowing look on his face as he closed down his computer and left the room looking world weary.

Up in his own quarters Steve felt lonely as he got ready for bed, he had considered taking a shower to try and ease some of the strain from his tense muscles but now that he was alone and didn’t have to keep up the Captain America bravado he was exhausted. His whole body was sagging as he crawled between the sheets.

However his brain had a different idea to the rest of his body and refused to shut off. It kept supplying him with different scenarios about Tony and what he was going through right now. Steve eventually drifted off the image of Tony slowly dying with the arc reactor being held just out of his reach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think in the comments below!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~Trigger Warning~  
> Graphic Non-Con

‘Are you ready to behave now Anthony?’ Tony jumped at the voice, he couldn’t help it. He didn’t know how long he had been left in cell, strung up by the neck. His body reacted violently, jerking in shock. The last time the man had been in the room with him he had been forcefully manhandled, kissed, and bitten. He could still feel the scabbed over mark where teeth had sunk viciously in to his flesh, drawing so much blood and pain.

They had put his shoulder back in place, but he was sure he had popped it back out during one of his struggles to relieve the pressure from his neck, the leg he was sure he had broken had set up shop with a deep intense burn that multiplied when he placed his weight on the abused balls of his feet. But he had been able to mostly put that to the back of his mind, unlike his vision.  The whole time had been desperately hanging by his neck, he had tried blinking to clear it, rubbed his palms over his sockets and spent large amount of time with them closed. Hoping that when he opened them again, everything would be clearer. Nothing had changed.

At one stage he had balanced precariously on his toes, ignoring the blinding agony and felt his face, the back of his skull, the area around his eyes were swollen hot and tender with bruises and he’d found a laceration on the back of his head deep enough to insert a fingertip in to (ouch). So for the rest of the night(day?) he had spent convincing himself as soon as the swelling went down his vision would get better (right?).  

 ‘Anthony.’ The voice sang, ringing out in the cell and sending shivers down his burning spine. He needed to remove the pressure on his body, on his feet, the broken bone and his swollen neck. A hand touched his face and he flinched back violently. ‘Are we ready to be a good boy yet?’ Tony remained silent and stoic, he refused to show fear, even as the hands danced across his body again, over his reactor. (This isn’t Stane, he breathed to himself)

When a hand moved down to cup his ass cheek though he couldn’t help but jump and stutter, squeezing his eyes shut against the fear (Tony was sure Rhodey thought he had been raped before, but he actually hadn’t and God he wanted his best friend right now). The hand massaged the firm muscle, the other coming up to rub at a nipple. Tony tried to close himself off, the Avengers would come. They’d kill whoever this man was; he wouldn’t have to go through this. Any moment they would come.

But they didn’t, and that hand moved further inwards. Probing instead of massaging now and he couldn’t stop the whimper that broke free. ‘Oh Antony, I didn’t think something like this would be anything new to you, don’t be scared sweetheart.’ He cooed, lips pressing against the abused skin around the noose. ( _Why did it sound like this guy_ knew _him?)_

‘Take him down, put him in the room and administer the medication. I want him ready.’ Tony shivered in fear, and the cold of the room. He cringed against the foreign hands that lowered him down barely supressing a moan of relief. The noose stayed though, simply used to manoeuvre him as they carried him down another hallway.

This room was at least warmer; he could make out the vague shape of the bed before he was dumped on it unceremoniously. Tony thought about fighting back he really did, lashing out at them, but the relief of being off his feet on a softer, flat surface was too overwhelming. At least until a hand was on the hem of his boxers and pulling, he tried to struggle then, kicking out and trying to curl in on himself but someone just took hold of flailing wrists, snapping them in to handcuffs tightly, he tried to bring his hands down, unaware they were fastened to the head of the bed. He resorted to kicking his legs out, ignoring the stabbing pain but they just held his ankles down.

 Once his boxers had been removed (he should have put up more resistance) and he lay there completely naked, panting heavily from the exertion a hand grabbed his elbow and slapped at the skin sharply before he felt a prick in the crook and something warm flushing through his veins with a slight sting.

The thought of going to sleep right now was terrifying, you didn’t have to be a genius to realise what the bed and the handcuffs were all about, he was prepared to fight against the drugs pull but instead of sleep he was  greeted by a harsh wave of adrenaline and euphoria. He squirmed, sweat beading across his skin as his heart tried to beat out of his chest. The warmth was rapidly spreading, speeding up everything.  

‘Do you remember this Anthony? You were quiet the party animal back in the day, I know you preferred to snort it but this was the easiest method in the end, I hope you don’t mind needles.’ The bed dipped beside him and the hands resumed their earlier exploration of his body. He couldn’t escape the sensation from the drug, the touch amplified ten-fold. ‘If you’re a good, receptive boy for me Anthony you’ll get some more, I’ll keep you comfortable if you do as your told.’

Tony thrashed his head, trying to escape the touch and the rush of the drugs. _Cocaine_ his head supplied, something he had spent a good year heavily addicted to before Rhodes had kicked his ass and slammed him in to a private rehab facility. That had been back in his youth, nineteen years old and trying to keep the company afloat. Before Stane had stepped in and given him some much needed aid _and started dealing under the table_.

‘Shhh, shh Anthony it’s okay. I’ll make you feel good, don’t worry. I didn’t pay all that money just to waste it, I’ll take care of you.’ Tony whimpered again, those hands were busy and moving everywhere. This close to the man he could make out vague things, like the greying salt and pepper hair, a beard, tanned skin. _I know you fucker, I will work this out_ Tony thought.

That mouth was suddenly on his own, forcing it open with a hand on his jaw applying pressure as tongue delved in to his mouth, violently. With a sudden display of courage Tony bit down as hard as he could, feeling victorious when blood flooded his mouth. The man pulled away and Tony didn’t see the fist that connected with the side of his head, snapping it violently to the side. ‘Next time I won’t be so lenient.’ He warned, and suddenly Tony was being straddled, muscled legs tight on each side of his hips and squeezing inwards, a sharp show of dominance.

With no warning he was being kissed again, forcefully, he was trailing kisses along his lips and neck working around the noose, he could feel hickeys being sucked in to the flesh of his collarbone and chest before settling over his nipples and sucking. Tony arched his back, the cocaine causing excitement where there was none, until a hand closed around him _there_ and he froze like ice, his whole body stiffening as he was slowly stroked, before it became rougher (Tony was thankful his body hadn’t betrayed him), than the hand was moving down past balls and pressing at his entrance.

Tony couldn’t stop himself from crying out in pain and shock as the finger went in with no warning or preparation.

‘So good for me Anthony, such a good boy.’ The man cooed as Tony squeezed his eyes shut harshly another finger going in. Tears slipped from his eyes and he tried to go somewhere else, anywhere but here and this moment but the man was diligent. He made sure Tony was completely aware of where he was, talking and making small noises. ‘I paid good money for this you know and I get you forever now and I am going to enjoy every little moment.’ _Someone had sold him_.

Tony barely smothered a scream as a third went in and was scissored, he felt something inside him tear around the fingers and the trickle of blood, he whimpered and more tears escaped unbidden.

‘Let’s give him a little more huh, I want him plaint, enjoying himself.’ _Where did he know that voice_ , it was so familiar? He was almost close to pinning it down when there was another prick in his elbow and the rush that followed the drugs, he gasped and panted as he lost his train of thought.

The pace maker component of the arc reactor was having a hard time keeping up with the faster rhythm and extra beats; he could feel it shocking his heart muscle every few seconds. He didn’t know what accelerant drug would do to the device.

The fingers were gone now, and the man’s lips went back to suckling his collarbones and nipples, before licking delicately over the scarred flesh around the arc reactor. Tony couldn’t help it now, he cried out in fear, the drugs weren’t making this better they were making it worse. And when he felt something line up with his bleeding opening, he screamed and screamed until the noose was pulled tight enough that he could barely breathe.

That’s how he stayed, silently sobbing around gasps for breath. Tony had slept with men before but he preferred to top, he had only let someone put something inside him once and he had decided then and there he wouldn’t be doing that again. His insides were burning, the pain was almost unbearable to the point he wished he would pass out. But his body was battling against the adrenaline of the drugs. As the man sped up the pace, becoming more violent with his thrusts, pressing against his prostrate (Tony was disgusted in himself for gasping in pleasure when it first happened) he found himself glad for the blood he knew was there, acting as a gory lubricant. He knew he’d been torn open on the thirst thrust.

Teeth sank in to his shoulder, tearing through the flesh and drawing blood as the man finished inside him, rocking harshly and moaning in to the bitten flesh, Tony could do nothing but lie there and silently cry and wish he was dead. The hips rocked for a little longer, the orgasm being ridden through with little juts of his hips until the man released his teeth and pulled out of Tony at the same time, loosening the noose as Tony hissed and cried out in pain. He didn’t want to think about what was leaking out of him right now, he tried to just focus on his breathing, getting his heart to slow down and the arc reactor to stop zapping him painfully every thirty seconds.

‘Such a good boy Anthony, so good to me, good boy.’ The man murmured running hands through his hair like a dog. Where were the Avengers, why weren’t they there yet? How come he hadn’t been rescued by now, they should’ve been here by now. ‘Will you keep being so good for me?’ Tony reared his head back and aimed for the faceless blob in front of him and slammed as hard as he could. Satisfied at the crunch and cry that he heard.

‘You little shit!’ The man shouted, Tony smirked in his small victory not even caring when something came down on his stomach, winding him.

 ‘Hose him off and put him back, give him the other stuff. He’s going to learn his lesson.’ The voice snapped a little nasal now and Tony couldn’t help the smirk that slipped back on his face, he wouldn’t stop fighting this.

Tony winced when his hands were un-cuffed from the bed; they were tacky with blood and he could feel the metal slipping free from his abraded flesh. He tried to stand up and swing his fists, fight and kick back confused; until another needle pinched the skin of the crook of his elbow. It wasn’t Cocaine this time, it hit him like a ton of bricks and he went down on the bed, limp and plaint as a puppet without strings. He heard them laugh at him.

They pulled him from the bed and he hit the floor with a bone rattling thump before they grabbed him by the legs and pulled him from the room again. ‘Reckon he’d mind if we had some of fun?’ The voices were indistinct, but they still put Tony on edge, he could make out the vagueness of the words but couldn’t pin them together.  The room ceiling of the hallway could be seen through a blurry tunnel, turning his head to look for any sign of where he was made him want to vomit. It was all white.

‘As long as we don’t leave anymore marks, sure.’ He was thrown against a wall, _so much for no marks_ , before being forced on to his back and held down.

Tony vaguely wondered what they were planning on doing to him through the haze until a cloth was forced over his mouth and he heard the sound of running water coming closer, it brought absolute terror to his mind. Tony tried to struggle against the cloth, kicked his legs and swung his legs but he may as well have been a newborn foal all the good it did.

 But he couldn’t tell how long he’d been here for or how long he’s had to go without food, sleep or water and he really didn’t have the energy(privately in  giddy backdoor of his mind he gave himself  A for effort). So when the water rushed in to his face he tried as hard as he could to keep his mouth closed, but it just went in his nose and he had to gasp for a watery breath eventually. Water flooded his lungs, and it was the cave all over again.  

There was no way of knowing how long this went on for, Tony shivered weakly against the cold where he lay in a pool of water and bile that he had vomited up (at least they had turned him on his side for that). Eventually the hose moved to the rest of his body, he cried out when someone spread his legs and sprayed directly _there_. When they hoisted him back to his feet again all he could do was resign himself to leaning on them heavily, he couldn’t struggle anymore. Too cold and traumatised. Struggling to work out what was the cave and what was real.

They didn’t spare him as they roughly hung him out to dry, the noose tightening before slackening when he managed to mostly get his feet under him. This wasn’t going to work.  

‘I’ll suffocate.’ He croaked, he couldn’t stay on his feet he was too weak. ‘Please.’ He begged, struggling and slipping on the floor gagging against the noose. ‘I can’t.’ His voice barely worked now, he could barely get the words out before he slipped again, choking, but this time he didn’t have the energy to get his feet back under him. He just couldn’t do it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's going on with Tony's eyes will be explained further down the track!
> 
>  
> 
> Please let me know what you think, thank you for reading.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steve loves Tony's bots.

In the five days that had passed since Tony had been kidnapped, Steve had taken to spending all his free time down in Tony’s workshop, playing with the bots and talking with Jarvis. When he had first moved in to the tower the AI had unsettled him, he had never known where to direct his gaze when communicating and he had been unsettled knowing he was being watched all the time. After a few sleepless first nights Tony had assured him the AI wasn’t in the bedrooms, just the main living areas. Steve had been thankful for that knowledge, and finally felt comfortable when he went to bed the next night.

Now he was sitting in Tony’s favourite desk chair, throwing a ball for DUM-E to fetch and bring back, while Butterfingers and You beeped and fussed around him, the first day he had come down they had swarmed him. Jarvis had informed him they were missing Tony, the man rarely went less then twelve hours straight without being in the shop and it had been  well over sixty hours before Steve had let himself in. He felt bad for them and made sure he came down every day now, until Tony was brought back to them.

‘When Tony create you?’ Steve asked, casting his eyes to the ceiling in question. As much as Tony said it didn’t matter where he looked, Steve often caught Tony staring at the ceiling when he spoke with the AI.

‘Shortly after Sir graduated from MIT, thankfully he was sober when he created my code unlike when he designed DUM-E.’ Jarvis supplied, a hint of humour in his computer generated voice as the bot in question came back over and dropped the ball in Steve’s lap with a keen beep for him to throw it again. ‘Tony designed him when he was drunk?’ Steve asked, eyebrows raised in amusement.

‘Indeed at seventeen years of age. I came one year later when Sir was spending a lot more time working, I believe he wanted some company and someone to converse with as he worked, he added coding that allows me to grow and learn so it moved on from there until we got to where we are today. I am a fully self-sustaining Artificial Intelligence.’

‘Colour me impressed.’ Steve laughed, he was beyond impressed. He had known Tony was a genius, if he was anything like Howard had been, but he seemed to be well beyond that of the older Stark. A true futurist. ‘Have you been able to pick anything up yet?’

Steve tried to put off asking Jarvis that question, he did it every single time he came down here and it hurt to hear the dejection in the AI’s voice when he announced he hadn’t yet found anything relating to Tony’s kidnapping. Everyone kept telling him that no news was good news, that taking someone so high profile like Tony Stark wouldn’t be kept quiet if he had been killed and nobody had come forward asking for a ransom yet. Pepper assured him that was the best news, as it meant whoever had taken Tony had a use for him and as long as that stood true he would be relatively safe.

‘I am afraid not Captain.’ Steve dropped his head, reaching out to pat Butterfingers on the head to hide his misery.

‘I don’t get how someone can just take Tony like that from the streets and get away with it.’ It had baffled Steve, the large crowd of onlookers when Tony had been snatched was obvious on the video footage but none of them had stepped up to offer assistance to the billionaire. Some had even had their phones out and filming. (Coulson had already seized all footage but it hadn’t helped). ‘Nobody even tried to help him Jarvis, are people always like that?’

There was a moment of silence from the AI before he spoke; ‘most people value the safety of their own lives above another’s Captain, self-preservation I believe it is called. Sir is also well known as an Avenger and they may have assumed the armour would step in.’ That was a good point, but Tony didn’t take the armour to business meetings something Steve was going to rectify with the genius when they got him back.

‘Has Natasha returned yet?’ He asked, the Black Widow had been gone for four days now searching for information and hadn’t been in touch with anyone. Steve hoped this was good, that she had found a lead and was following it.

‘Not yet Captain, however Mr Barton is heading down should I allowed him entry?’ Jarvis had assigned him full control of the workshop since had started coming down daily, he was a little thrown by that, knowing how much Tony appreciated his own space and privacy, but had taken on the role gladly.

‘Let him in, I know he loves the bots.’ Steve said, looking around as the elevator opened and Clint stepped out behind the glass doors that whooshed open to admit him. The hawk looked exhausted, he had gone out to view the abandoned fake panelling the other day and look for more leads but he had come up empty and he looked deflated for it. They were going to need something solid soon, a lead or even a hint of where Tony had gone or the team was going to fall apart at the seams. ‘Hey.’ He smiled at the archer who sank to the floor and allowed the bots to swarm around him, touching his hair clothing.

‘Phil still has nothing; he’s just vanished off the face of the earth.’ Clint replied, looking sullen as he reached out a hand to tickle You, the bot chirping in response. ‘Are we still operating under the notion that it’s someone on the inside?’

It had been agreed upon that it was connected to someone inside SI, otherwise how would they have known when and how Tony was getting to meeting. But so far they had no solid proof, just a general sense of unease that Pepper had noticed during a last minute board meeting. Nobody was willing to talk. Which is where Natasha had come in, Steve couldn’t be more thankful for her ability to get answers where nobody else could. She was a truly gifted spy.

‘I believe so, Jarvis is keeping an eye on the comings and goings of the board members but there hasn’t been anything worthy of looking in to yet. At the moment we are waiting for news from Natasha and trying to get a hold of Thor, nobody can find him.’ Clint raised his brows in confusion at that. ‘He was here before Tony was taken but hasn’t shown up since.’ Steve supplied.

‘Could it be connected?’ Steve shook his head.

‘I don’t think so, he could’ve simply gone off planet without meaning to tell us but either why it’s unsettling to have so many Avengers out of commission right now. Plus if we did get a lead on Tony, we could use his strength and the air support.’ Clint nodded along with him, picking at a loose thread on his jumper, he looked haggard.

‘Has anyone contacted Rhodey?’ Steve asked, looking up at the ceiling. War Machine would be a good asset.

‘Miss Potts has attempted to get in touch with him, but he appears to be on radio silence for a military mission at the moment.’ Jarvis supplied.

Groaning Steve ruffled his hair and let his head hang back in frustration. ‘All we know is that this was planned, and came from within Stark Industries. How do we have nothing?’ He growled. He suddenly perked up, ‘How much access do you have to SI Jarvis?’

‘I have full access to all mainframes.’

‘What about personal business accounts, emails, phone records, bank accounts of employees?’ Clint looked up at him sharply, they hadn’t looked that in depth yet. ‘Could you get access to them and look for anything that shouldn’t be there?’

‘Where would you like me to start Captain?’

‘Board members only, look for encrypted or dummy emails and check bank accounts for large deposits or withdrawals that are out of place, look for any private servers that nobody else would have access too. If it looks like it doesn’t belong I want to see it.’ Steve stood up and started pacing, how could they have missed something so obvious?

Clint stood too and clapped Steve on the shoulder, smiling at him. ‘I’ll let Phil know what’s happening, give him a heads up we might have a lead soon; good job Steve.’ With that he turned and left the workshop, a significant bounce in his step now. This was just what they needed and Steve was glad he thought of it, while Jarvis was watching the cameras and surveying they had forgotten what else he could do.

He hoped that within the next twenty-four hours Jarvis would have something for him.

‘Can you bring up a screen for what you’re going through Jarvis, I want to take a look as well. Two sets of eyes are better than one.’ A screen turned on at the work station, on one of Tony’s many computers in the work shop and Steve dragged his chair over. He still wasn’t very good with today’s technology but Tony had been giving him basic crash courses, he knew how to navigate emails. ‘Thanks Jarvis, focus more on the male side of the board. I know a woman shouldn’t be ruled out but something is telling me this is a man.’ Natasha would scold him for being sexist, but this screamed of male dominance.

They worked in silence for a while, Steve skimmed through hundreds of emails speed reading, taking a little longer on the ones that Jarvis flagged for him. ‘Has anyone tried to contact Jane Foster, see if Thor’s with her?’ He asked after reading a slightly steamy email between two colleagues hiding an affair, Steve felt his cheeks warm up when he got to the bottom of it.

‘Contacting her now.’ Jarvis said and a ringtone filled the room, a small window popping up beside him displaying Jane’s details and a photo of her smiling at the camera.

‘Hello?’ She answered, sounding confused and unsure.

‘Hi Jane, it’s Steve Rogers.’ He clicked open another email as he spoke.

‘I’m sorry who?’ Jane sounded like she was ready to hang up, and Steve realised she hadn’t met him officially yet. The world still knew him only as Captain America.

‘Sorry, Captain America.’ There was an awkward silence as Jane mumbled a quiet _oh my god_. ‘I was wondering with Thor was with you, we haven’t been able to get in contact with him for a few days.’ He filled in, some of the awkwardness creeping in to his voice now.

‘He didn’t tell you he was coming out here?’ A muffled noise covered the phone, and Steve’s keen ears picked up her shouting for Thor. How had they all forgotten about the Norse Gods girl friend? They were losing their edge in the wake of Tony going missing. Steve would have to rectify that when they were all back together, maybe institute some team sessions surrounding the possibility of one of them going off grid and how the situation should be handled. He couldn’t let himself think that they wouldn’t get Tony back, that there wouldn’t be anything after this.

They would get him back, even if it was the last thing he did.

‘Steven I apologise for not informing my shield brothers that I was leaving our home, Jane has informed me that this was the wrong thing to do.’ Thor’s booming voice filled the room through the speakers, eve hundreds of miles away the man held a large personality. ‘Am I needed to return for avenging duties, my communication device has not been working.’ Steve caught someone in the background mumbling about chargers, but he blocked it out.

‘We do need you to return, sorry Thor but a situation has arisen and we could use your help.’ Steve said, unsure how much he should share over the phone even though he was sure Jarvis would have the line secure.

‘I shall leave immediately Steven, I hope nothing to grave has befallen you in my absence.’ Steve still couldn’t wrap his mind around the way Thor spoke, so lordly. It made him think of Victorian lords and manors.

‘I’ll fill you in officially when you get here.’ Steve said his goodbyes and went back to the email he had been reading.

‘Captain Agent Coulson and Barton are heading down to the workshop, shall I allow them entry?’ Jarvis closed the phone screen beside him.

‘Let them in, do they have anything?’ Steve asked, clicking through three more emails before landing on one that looked suspicious.

‘They may have some information; Agent Coulson was weary of sharing it before he is with you.’ The door whooshed open behind and the agents walked in, Steven glanced back and gave them a quick smile. Phil looked like he hadn’t slept properly in days, but Clint looked more hopeful then he had earlier. Steve rose eagerly, forgetting the email for a moment as he greeted them.

‘What do you have?’ He asked, right down to business. Phil handed him a piece of paperwork and stood silently as he read. It was detailing a deal of some sort, there were no specific names but it outlined the exchange of a very large amount of money and dates that aligned with Tony’s kidnapping. His heart skipped a beat, they had something.

He sat back down at his seat by the computer and pulled the email back up again, comparing the similar use of codenames in the subject line. ‘This could be it.’ He rolled out of the way and gestured for Phil to come forward and read the email for himself.

_Wollfe._

_Light Heart will deploy by black town, t minus five minutes from now. Be ready, have funds transferred._

It was addressed early Wednesday morning. The email came from their leak, whoever had been feeding information to whomever had kidnapped Tony from the streets. They knew what car and when he was leaving to the dot, whoever it was had more access then they had initially released.

‘Jarvis who can access the security footage in the tower, namely the Avengers floor and Tony’s garage?’ Phil was reading the email still, jotting some stuff down on a notepad.

‘Only Sir and myself have access to that level of footage Captain.’ Steve grimaced, he’d thought so. Someone had gotten their hands on it somehow though.

‘Look back through your servers; look for any remote access that may have slipped through. Whoever did this knew exactly when Tony had left the tower and what car he was using; I want you to track back the user for this email too and if possible what location it was sent from, we’re close Jarvis.’

‘Certainly Captain.’

‘Well done Captain Rogers, you have shown good initiative here.’ Phil held a hand out for him to shake. ‘I will notify Miss Potts of the development and perhaps organise a larger security detail for her in case of escalation.’ After that Phil bustled from the room leaving Clint and Steve standing together with the first real spark of hope all week as they waited for Jarvis to finish tracking the email.

They were going to bring Tony home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think


	6. Chapter 6

They kept giving him the drugs, even while he hung from his wrists (they had swapped out the noose after he passed out and stopped breathing, waking up to rough chest compressions and hot breath was not up there on his list of fun moments) someone would come in and administer them. It was like clockwork. They had set up a routine around him, he would be drugged and left alone before they used the cocaine. When that happened he knew he would be moved to the room with the bed, cuffed down until the man arrived.

Tony still tried to resist, he kicked and bucked his hips crying out in rage until a dirty rag was shoved in his mouth and the man would spread his legs or put them over his shoulders, holding them there while he did whatever he pleased. Tony could never stop it from happening but it didn’t stop him from trying.

Then the men who carried him between rooms would hold off on the next drugs, hold him down on the floor and spray water in his face, sometimes with the cloth and sometimes without. After the third time this happened, he had developed a wet cough that had grown progressively worse each day. By the seventh day when he had been hung by his wrists again (god he couldn’t even feel his fingers anymore, his shoulders never stopped burning) the next medication, the one that made him want to melt through the floor, was given and he couldn’t catch his breath. His skin was burning with fever, he knew he was sick but he honestly couldn’t bring himself to care.

Yesterday his vision had almost completely gone, he’d managed to knee whoever had been holding him down on the bed, the man with the indistinct grey hair and the voice he couldn’t pin, in the balls. He had retaliated by slamming the back of Tony’s head against the railing with both hands over and over again until Tony had gone unresponsive. Stars had exploded in his vision and then it had just gone, tunnelled out to nothing but black.

That was the only time he had stopped fighting what happened, he was too stuck in his head internally freaking out over the blackness that was never ending. They had given him extra cocaine, trying to rouse a little more fight from him but he just couldn’t bring himself too, where did all the light go? They’d picked him up when finished him and he’d promptly passed out.

When he had opened his eyes again the next day, coughing weakly and sweating heavily despite his nudity and the chill of the room, there had been small amounts of light recognition and he had laughed until someone came back in, sticking another needle in his arm to silence him.

That day they changed the routine, they had given him something weaker and kept him more alert as they dragged him down the hallway, further this time before placing him in a chair. His hands were fastened in front of him, and he almost wanted to cry over the pain, his backside hurt as he sat on it, and his abused shoulders and elbows felt like they were going to be locked above his head forever, his knees didn’t want to bend to accommodate the sitting position.

Tony tried to look around, but small increments of black had started crawling over his vision again, his head ached and felt too heavy on his neck. It took all his effort not to lean keenly towards the table and the possibility of resting on the surface. He gave a mighty wet cough, feeling something run down his chin before a rough rag was wiped across it. He wondered if they knew that he couldn’t see for shit anymore. He didn’t know if he was more scared of admitting it to himself or to these people. Would they kill him if they found out?

Around the fifth day he had stopped believing the Avengers would come for him, he would welcome death with open arms if that’s what they offered him. Tony was thoroughly over being used a sex doll and pin cushion, though at this rate he was thankful for the drugs, they were dosing him regularly, keeping him dependent on them. He could feel his skin itching now, through the smaller quantity he had been given, it wasn’t enough to take away the edge of need. He wondered if he could ask some more.

‘How are we doing today Anthony?’ Someone had sat down across from him, he hadn’t heard them come in, didn’t know where to direct his eyes. He dropped his head low instead. ‘Come now Anthony, don’t be that way.’ A hand tilted his head back up, would they notice how unfocused his eyes were, would they assume it was the drugs they were pumping him with?

They sat in silence for a moment, the only sound Tony’s raspy breath as he wheezed. A clammy hand was still holding his head up, he kept blinking his eyes owlishly, shivering occasionally as he waited for whatever this was to happen. It’s not like he had anywhere else to be.

‘I’m throwing you a bone here Anthony, giving you a chance to redeem yourself.’ Tony just blinked and coughed in response. ‘I am willing to allow you a night off, in a real bed with a meal and some water if you do something for me.’ Did he want Tony to respond somehow? There was no way he was doing anything for this scumbag. He wanted to say that, keep up his sassy bravado but his tongue was dead weight against his teeth, he sucked in a forgotten breath. ‘I want the designs to the arc reactor, if you write them down; draw them for me I will give you that treat how does that sound? A real bed and a warm meal.’

Tony laughed.

It probably wasn’t the smartest move had ever made but he couldn’t help it, he hacked and laughed and found he couldn’t stop even when the hand holding up his head squeezed threateningly around his throat, cutting off his breath until he had no choice to stop. When the hand relented he wheezed and shook his head. ‘You’re a fool.’ He rasped, to gone to care now.

‘I believe you are the fool Anthony, all you need to do is agree to my terms and this could all go a lot more smoothly for you. There’s no chance the Avengers are coming for you, we are too well hidden for that to happen, nobody will see you ever again do you understand?’ Tony tried to turn his head away but the hand was too strong. ‘Now let me ask again, will you be a good boy and draw up the plans?’

A stray tear slipped down his cheek and Tony shuddered. ‘Even if I wanted to comply with a piece of scum like you I couldn’t, not anymore.’ The man growled. ‘You only have yourself to blame.’ He rasped, never knowing when to shut up. The hand squeezed threateningly.

‘What do you mean you couldn’t?’ The man sounded unsure now, angry and unbalanced. Tony could feel his eyes on him, looking for something. ‘Untie him.’ The ropes slithered away from his raw wrists. ‘Stand him, hurry up!’ The man shouted, closer now.

As soon as his feet were beneath him Tony dropped in an explosion of agony, the impact of pressure on the balls of his feet was too much to handle. The man’s closed around his armpits, heaving him up with a growl. He felt hot breath on his face, heard the moment he realised, the sharp intake of breath at the same his vision decided to turn and flee. The last thing he was the vague greys of salt and pepper hair, and it was gone. Somehow Tony knew that was it, it wasn’t coming back this time. It felt permanent. ‘ _No_!’ The man growled, dropping him to the floor, he laid in a boneless heap.

‘How did this happen, what did you bumbling fools do? He’s useless to me now!’ Tony flinched when a boot connected with his rib cage, over and over again until something snapped sending sharp flares of agony through his chest. The boot didn’t stop though, and Tony was sure he was going to die by death from kicking until a different cracked filled the air.

Tony stopped breathing and felt his heart stop in fear. That was the crack of reinforced glass, the window of his arc creator had just cracked. This had never happened before; Tony hadn’t received a blow hard enough outside of his armour to test the durability of the glass over the element that powered him. He felt a boot nudge him over to his back and winced, the whole socket was loose. They’d broken the casing, a sharp shock went through his chest as a stray wire touched on his heart and his whole body seized up.

Tony let out a wheezy breath, testing the instability of the casing as the others stood over him and was relieved when it didn’t move too much. Not that it mattered, he was sure they were going to kill him now anyway.

Until he heard the rumbling of thunder outside, and the crack of a lightning strike. He knew that sound by now, but he didn’t want to get his hopes up. Even when gunshots rang out, and caught the unmistakeable clang of vibranium on flesh. _They’d come_. Tony sagged in to the floor, flooding with relief as he listened to the sounds of gunshots and fighting. He’d be home soon, he could rest properly.

For the first time that week Tony felt safe, even as the man shouted above him and the sound of the fight outside the doors got closer. He didn’t care. They were here, Steve was here. Steve would take him home and take care of him, because he was a massive mother hen that fussed over them whenever they got injured on a mission. Tony would put up with his hovering if it just meant that he could be safe again and he could sleep.

It took a moment for Tony to come out of his thoughts, realise he was no longer lying boneless on the floor. There were hands around him, possessive hands, and the wrong ones gripping him tightly against a heaving chest. The others were just outside the door now; he could hear Steve calling orders to the others. _He was so close._ Tony was so caught up in Steve’s voice and the sound of the door being kicked open he nearly missed the pinch of a needle in his neck, the same time a hand closed around his broken reactor.

‘TONY!’ That was Steve calling his name, he sounded so angry. Had he done something wrong again? It was so hot and hard to breathe; his heart was slowing down and felt as sluggish as his brain right now. Who was holding him so close if Steve was over there? ‘Unhand him and take your hands off the arc reactor now Dawson. I won’t ask you again.’ Someone had his arc reactor? Maybe that was why his heart was so slow, it was going to stop beating any minute now it was so slow.

Apparently Tony’s new default reaction to stress was giggling. It slipped out unbidden and he felt the chest behind him huff out a laugh. ‘Did a number on this one, it’s nicer at this stage to put a dog out of its misery than to let it suffer, wouldn’t you sap Captain Rogers? Wouldn’t want him to suffer.’ Even in his delirium Tony felt the reactor come loose, the wires knocking the casing as they were pulled out and then he was falling, hitting the ground with no noise.

Tony had a vague moment of awareness; he didn’t have to worry about his blood pumping the shrapnel closer to his heart, his heart wasn’t beating anymore anyway. He didn’t giggle this time.

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Were they too late, just in time?   
> I will post one more chapter today before I go away for the weekend (honestly why though I HATE easter) and lose my wifi.

Steve froze up as he watched Tony fall to the floor from the Dawson’s grip, his eyes were open and didn’t blink. He stayed where he landed and didn’t move an inch. They were too late. Clint shot past him, an arrow burying itself in Dawson’s hand forcing him to drop the reactor and scream in rage before a boot knocked him down. ‘Steve!’ Natasha brushed past him and dropped to her knees at Tony’s side, rolling him open and pulling off a glove to feel for a pulse.

Jumping in to action Steve moved forward and dropped beside Tasha, helping lay Tony flat as she desperately began chest compressions. Steve wanted to vomit at the sight; Tony was naked and so _thin_. His skin was a messy map of bruising. ‘Bruce we need med evac _now_!’ He shouted in to his comm, pinching Tony’s nose and breathing in to his mouth for him. ‘Clint get the reactor we need to move now.’ Natasha stopped compressions as Steve scooped Tony in to his arms, _he was so light_ and ran.

He didn’t stop to see who was following him, having blind faith in Barton to follow behind with the reactor. They all knew Tony needed it to live, but Bruce was the only one of them that knew how to put it back in. Agents moved out of the way for him as he ran by, spreading like the red sea for him as he passed by. His knees nearly went weak when he saw the jet with Bruce waiting in the entrance for him moving from foot to foot.

‘What have we got?’ Steve placed him on the stretcher and placed his fingers to the pulse point of Tony’s neck, hopeful for a pulse he had no chance of finding. Tony’s lips were already going blue and he was steadily losing body heat. He turned around to look for Clint and grabbed the reactor for him, holding him as Bruce electrodes strategically over Tony’s bruised chest. ‘Asystole dammit.’ He snatched up paddles from the monitor and charged them up, waving his arm to have them move back before pressing them to Tony’s chest.

Natasha came running up the ramp behind them and shouted wait just as Bruce pressed the panels down once more, shocking Tony’s body with no result. Steve turned to her, seeing the syringe she held in her hand. Bruce took it from her, before studying Tony and resting his hands on his elbows and frowning. ‘This is going to be a long shot.’ He warned as he dug through the medical kit, pulling another syringe out and uncapping it. ‘Get ready to hold him down, if I’m right he’s going to wake up with a fright.’ Bruce positioned the needle over Tony’s chest and plunged it down.

Whatever it was worked, Steve’s knees buckle with relief when the monitor started screaming and Tony bucked up, panting in shock. He shot forward and placed a hand on his leg, unsure if he was going to need to restrain him but it was for nothing. Tony’s eyes flickered shut again as he fell back unconscious. Steve panicked for a minute before the monitor screamed again, reminding him he was alive. ‘Jarvis call Pepper.’ Bruce commanded, studying the arc reactor with scrutiny as he turned it over in his hands. ‘Steve grab the oxygen and the intubation kit, Natasha start a line for me; try for femoral his elbows are shot. Clint we need to move, tower ASAP.’ They got started, collecting what they needed as Bruce turned away.

‘Bruce?’ Pepper’s voice filled the cabin of the jet, filled with concern.

‘Does Tony have a spare reactor at the tower?’ Steve looked up sharply, pausing in opening bags of tubes.

‘In the workshop, only I have access to the codes why. How far out are you?’ The ramp to the quinjet was closing as the engines fire up.

‘How fast can you get us there Clint?’ Bruce asked, pacing now, reactor forgotten in his hands.

‘Ten minutes if I push the limits. I’ll have Coulson keep the skies clear.’ Clint turned back to the controls and pulled a headset on, speaking quickly. Steve placed a mask over Tony’s mouth, watching the blue tint start to recede.

‘Ten minutes Pepper, meet us on the landing pad. Have the medical floor stocked and ready I won’t be able to deal with this all on my own, get in touch with his cardiologist, pulmonologist and a trauma surgeon, have Jarvis do whatever it takes to get in touch with Rhodey.’ Bruce came back to Steve, nudging him out the way as they took off and expertly placing the intubation tube. _No matter how much he told them he wasn’t that type of doctor, he still rose to the occasion_.

‘Why can’t you put it back in, doesn’t he need it?’ Steve asked, confused as Bruce took a blood pressure reading and grimaced.

‘It’s broken, I don’t know what they did to it but the glass is fractured and its moved out of shape if I put it back in now I don’t know what will happen.’ Bruce supplied, moving to a small cabinet and pulling out two bags of fluids, handing them to Natasha to hold as he hooked them up. Steve sat back as he worked, listening to Tony’s wheezing lungs and taking a temperature. He palpated Tony’s neck and shook his head at the collar Natasha was holding out before grabbing a pen light.

Steve watched Bruce repeat the process, taking note of the confused look on his face, worry building in the pit of his stomach when Bruce closed his own eyes for a moment, hand holding the torch quivering. ‘Bruce?’ He asked softly, startling the other man.

‘I need to stabilise his leg,’ Bruce cleared his throat roughly ‘the bone is displaced, give me a hand will you Steve?’ Steve nodded, taking hold of Tony’s ankle when told to and straightening it out as a stiff board was tied around it. ‘Can you sit him for me, I need to listen to his chest again.’ Something was wrong, but Steve didn’t want to press it, Bruce was precarious at the best of times and he didn’t want to risk the chance of the Hulk coming out whilst they were in the air. ‘They’re full of fluid, sounds like it could be pneumonia but I won’t be able to tell without x-rays.’

‘What about his arm doc?’ Natasha asked, pointing her chin at the swollen limb. Bruce hummed, feeling around the area. He had Steve lift it up, and his stomach curdled.

‘It’s not meant to do that is it?’ Steve asked, swallowing back bile when the obviously distorted joint flopped a little in his grip. Bruce shook his head and reached for a bandage, guiding Steve’s hand to hold the arm against Tony’s chest where he strapped it.

Bruce sat back on his heels and placed a hand in Tony’s hair. ‘There isn’t anything else I can do, he’s as stable as he’s going to get until we reach the tower.’ Steve nodded and thanked him, his own resting on Tony’s ankle as Bruce draped a blanket over Tony’s glaring nudity. Steve watched the heart monitor, brows scrunching up in worry at the slow, irregular numbers.

‘What did you give him?’ He whispered, thinking back to injection.

‘Naloxone.’ Bruce muttered, running a hand through his hair. ‘It counteracts opioid overdoses; I was hoping I was wrong but…’ He trailed off, casting his eyes away. Steve wanted to ask more but didn’t press, he turned instead to Natasha.

‘What happened to Dawson?’ He asked, feeling a little shamefaced that he hadn’t hung around for the formal arrest and the chance to take a swing at himself.

‘Phil has him; they’re taking him to Shield for questioning now.’ Natasha squeezed the last of the fluid from the bags, disconnecting them and sitting down beside Steve as Bruce took more readings before reaching for more fluids, hanging them this time.

‘As soon as we have Tony taken care of I want to see him, ask a few questions of my own. There’s something bigger happening here.’ Natasha nodded in agreement. Now that they had Tony back with them all the energy had fled, replaced with bone deep exhaustion. They sat in silence as they grew closer to the tower, until the monitor screamed an alert and Bruce jumped to his feet. ‘What’s happening?’ Steve asked, standing too.

‘He’s gone in to v-fib, the shrapnel is moving too quickly, Clint go faster!’ Bruce shouted, detaching the oxygen and charging the panels again calling for everyone to stand back as he pressed them to Tony’s chest. ‘The pace maker needs the reactor to work, without it the shrapnel travels and the heart loses its rhythm. We need to shock the heart the same way the pacer would until we can get to the new reactor.’ Bruce placed the panels back, reaching for scissors and cutting the bandage mobilising Tony’s shoulder.

Steve didn’t know what to do; he wanted to help but didn’t know how. Natasha stood next to him and took his hand, squeezing it, face pale and ashen as she watched Bruce slap two pads on Tony’s concave chest. They could do nothing as they watched Tony jolt on the stretcher as the pads sent smaller, more controlled pulses in to Tony’s heart.

‘Coming in, take a seat guys and brace for landing, we have entourage waiting.’ Clint called, banking as he relaxed the engines and brought them down on the landing pad, powering off as the ramp opened.

Blinking against the light, Steve saw Pepper standing there with red eyes and a team of doctors ready to move as soon as the ramp hit the floor. Bruce slapped him on the arm and together they wheeled the stretcher out in to open air and moved fast.

‘We need the arc reactor; he’s in v-fib.’ Bruce called. ‘Last readings had his blood pressure at 60/40, heart rate irregular and 36 a-febrile 104.3. Intubated on the way due to an opioid overdose.’ Bruce fired off quickly as the team of doctors moved with them. Steve fell back as they went in to the elevator; there was nothing more he could now.

Slowly he made his over to the sofa and sank down in to the comfortable cushions. ‘It is good to have you back Captain, thank you for bringing Sir back to us.’ Jarvis said, sounding more sincere then a computer should be able to. Steve smiled at the ceiling, he hadn’t done it alone.

Clint and Natasha were walking towards him, looking as worn down as he felt. ‘I would tell you both to get some rest but I feel like it would fall on deaf ears.’ Steve said, sighing as he sat back on the cushions and let them envelope his body comfortingly. They had him back, seven days of frantic searching and he was home. Tony wasn’t out of trouble thought; he had been dead for over a minute. He was just a human outside of the armour. Tony wasn’t super human like he was. He was soft and delicate.

God Tony would hit him for thinking like that but he couldn’t help it.

‘There was something wrong with his eyes.’ Steve murmured, remembering the way Bruce had shone the light in them over and over again looking grim. Natasha sat down beside him and took his hand, squeezing it. ‘What if we were too late?’ He asked.

‘Tony is stronger then looks Steve’s, this isn’t his first and probably won’t be his last brush with death but he always pulls through.’ Natasha leaned against him, resting her head on his shoulder.

‘Stark is a stubborn son of a bitch, we won’t get rid of him that easy Cap he’s like a growth.’ Clint came back from the kitchen with beers, popping the tops and handed them one each. Steve was going to protest over drinking on the job but he just didn’t have the heart too. They deserved this after the week they had had, there was nothing more any of them could do for Tony while the doctors did their jobs.

When they finished their beers and Clint went looking for seconds Steve turned to Tash, a serious look on his face. ‘We didn’t have such comprehensive CPR or those shock things back in my day, if you died that was it.’ Natasha just watched him, head tilted to the side in question. ‘Are there risks, bringing someone back like that?’ There was still so much Steve didn’t understand in this century, they had so much lifesaving technology now but he had still seen people die too many times.

After Tony had fallen back to earth from the portal, his armour tossing around in the sky like it weighed nothing, and the Hulk had dumped him in front of everyone and he hadn’t been breathing, Steve had sworn none of them would go through that again. He’d had Fury sign him up for medical courses, and learnt how to do CPR and administer basic field medicine but it hadn’t been enough this time.

It took Natasha a moment to answer; she accepted her second beer from Clint and tucked her feet under Steve’s thigh before she considered what she would say. ‘We got to him in time Steve, risk of brain death or damage comes after a person has been dead for over three minutes. Stark wasn’t out for more than two, he’ll come back from this.’

Steve nodded gravely, and hoped that his team mate was right.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like to think that if the blood isn't pumping the shrapnel can't move through Tony's bloodstream. Also Bruce is his chosen science bro therefore entrusted with the inner workings of the arc reactor just this once!


	8. Chapter 8

It was a staggering six hours before Bruce showed up in the lounge room, announcing tiredly that Tony was stable and they could go up and see him soon if they wanted to. After accepting a hug from Natasha and a handshake from Steve he excused himself to the Hulk proof room, a little green around the edges already. Steve was dwarfed by anxiety over that, what would they be walking in to when they got to the medical wing?

Pepper was waiting for them when they stepped off the elevator, she was crying. There were fresh tears running down her cheeks and her eyes were red and swollen. Steve rush over and enveloped her in a big hug, smiling she wrapped her dainty arms around him and hiccupped in to his chest, he ran hands up and down her back. ‘How is he?’ Steve whispered, resting his chin on top of her strawberry blonde hair.

After a few more sniffles and hiccups Pepper pulled away and looked up in to his face, a sad smile on her quivering lips. ‘Not good, but he’s alive. For now.’ She shuddered when she said that, wiping her cheeks on her sleeve. ‘The doctors did what they could, but until he wakes up they can’t say for sure; his hearts too weak right now to make any promises.’ She started crying again, harder this time and Steve pulled her back in to his arms. She was so small this woman, and dealt with so much.

Something that seemed to come with the price tag of being involved with the life and risks of Tony Stark. He was glad that Tony had someone like her who stuck around and stayed by his side no matter happened. Pepper Potts was one strong woman, stronger even then himself. ‘Why don’t you go get some sleep? I’ll sit with him for now; make sure he’s not on his own. Jarvis can wake you if something happens okay?’ He used his captain voice to make it an order, walking her towards the elevator.

‘We got the man responsible, he’s in Phil’s capable hands at the moment so he isn’t getting anywhere near Tony again okay?’ He gave her one last hug. ‘Get some sleep, Tony will need us all when he wakes up.’ He waited until she had nodded, casting him a watery smile as the doors closed on her and he turned back around.

They didn’t spend a lot of time on the medical wing of the tower, Tony had had it built after the Battle of New York. A safe place for the Avengers to be treated accordingly without nosy doctors trying to get inside information on their build up. Tony had assured them all that the doctors and nurses kept on a rotating staff were well vetted and had all signed disclosures that forbade them from sharing any information about them publically. They were also well paid, Steve knew first hand how difficult an injured Avenger could be to treat.

Tony himself had reduced many of the nurses to tears with his antics and sharp mouth. Steve usually made sure at least one Avenger was on hand at all times if one of them were injured enough to require medical treatment. Otherwise there was a hundred percent guarantee they’d all walk around missing limbs with gaping wounds. Such pig headed people.

Not that Steve could talk for himself, since waking up from the ice he had acquired an aversion to being in medical. It set his teeth on edge and made him nervous, the rooms always so cold and clinical. (The next time he needed to go and get a bone set, the rooms were more comfortable and warmer, he suspected Tony knew.)

Stepping through the sealed double doors he looked around, eyes settling on the one room in use. From this distance he couldn’t have guessed that someone as large as life like Tony was on that bed, under those blankets. The closer he got to the bed the more he doubted it was the man he knew, had come to care for. Tony was dwarfed by the machines and tubes that surrounded him, he looked impossibly pale beneath the thin sheet draped over him despite the fever red of his cheeks and face.

Ice packs were littered around him, trying to bring down his temperature as a machine to the left breathed for him, heart monitor beeping slowly if not a little irregular still. But it wasn’t screaming now and Tony was still, not jolting with little shocks. He didn’t pretend to know what the read outs on the monitor meant he just took peace with them announcing Tony was alive.

Someone had cleaned him up, removed all the dirt and blood that had been caked on his skin. All that was left behind now were cuts and bruises, bandages over the more serious ones. A tube was running from his chest, another in his throat and nose. Looking around he wanted to ask a doctor or a nurse what they were, but everyone looked busy so he thought against it, he could wait till someone came by.

Grabbing a chair he sank down in to it, taking Tony’s hand and being mindful of all the tubes and wires (how could there be so many for one tiny person) and settled in to wait. Watching the mechanical rise and fall of Tony’s chest.

Short of an hour a nurse came in, jumping a little when she noticed Steve before picking up a folder and moving to the machines. ‘How’s he doing?’ Steve asked, keen for information.

‘He’s still hypotensive and bradycardic, but we’re hoping with some nutrition and fluid replacement he should start to improve. We are having trouble fighting the infection though, we aren’t sure where exactly it’s stemming from.’ Steve nodded, trying to make sense of the medical jargon. ‘Would you like to talk with the doctor, Miss Potts has given you a place of proxy in Mr Stark’s care.’

‘Yes please, that would be great.’ She nodded and hurried off, coming back with an older man in tow.

‘Steve Rogers.’ He held out his hand to the doctor, he hadn’t met this man before.

‘Doctor Carl Myers, it’s a pleasure to meet you Captain Rogers. Why don’t you take a seat and I’ll see if I can explain things to you.’ Steve did as he was told, sitting and resting his elbows on his knees as he leant forward, listening.

‘I am not sure how much you understand about Mr Stark’s condition at the moment?’ Doctor Myers asked, and Steve just shook his head, indicating he didn’t know anything. ‘Okay I’ll try to keep it simple.’

‘Mr Stark is severely dehydrated, his body temperature is too high and we can’t get his heart rate to come back within normal ranges. He has a severe infection in his lungs, we’ve done a lavage and are administering antibiotics but we aren’t seeing the improvement we hoped too. If we don’t get this under control there is a chance he could go in to septic shock, we already have him on life support and are keeping him comfortable but if we can’t get on top of this, I have alerted Miss Potts to start considering end of life options.’

Steve went stock still in his seat, body tensing on him and seizing up his heart and lungs as he stared dumbly at the doctor. ‘What?’ He asked stupidly. ‘You have antibiotics these days, all these machines. Why can’t you fight the infection?’

‘Mr Rogers it isn’t that simple, I’m sorry. Mr Stark is a complex case, the arc reactor makes things a bit more hard to treat. We have one last option to try if he does go septic but it comes with its own risks, risk that Miss Potts as his medical proxy is well aware of but we are hoping it won’t come to that. For now we are doing what we can for his other injuries, we’ve repaired the damage to his shoulder, reset his leg and set it with pins and sterilised what we can to fight the infection but it is aggressive.

‘If and when he wakes up we will know more, but he’s taken a hard blow to the head possibly in the accident that occurred when he was taken, it fractured his skull and bruised the occipital nerves. We won’t know if his sight is affected permanently unless he wakes up.’

‘Sight?’ Steve breathed, clenching his fists. That was what had Bruce so concerned on the jet, when he had shone the light in Tony’s eyes. ‘You think he could be blind?’ Doctor Myers nodded, looking morose.

‘A hard enough knock to the back of the head can cause the brain to bounce around in the skull, the rebound can cause swelling and bruising around the occipital lobe. If this is caught and treated properly the patient can regain full sight again with rest and recuperation. Judging by the extensive bruising and swelling in Mr Stark’s brain he had been struck repeatedly, he would have known something was wrong but would have most likely been unable to prevent it without receiving proper medical care.’ Steve swallowed, stood up, sat back down again when his knees wobbled and stood up again to move over to the sink and grip the cool porcelain.

Nobody spoke for a few minutes as Steve regained his composure. They hadn’t been quick enough, Tony had been missing for a week slowly going blind and succumbing to infection. After everything they had gone through, it looked like it was going to be for nothing in the end. Tony could very much still die.

‘Are you sure he would have known,’ Steve looked at the doctor ‘that he was going blind?’

Doctor Myer’s sighed and nodded. ‘In the beginning his vision would have been blurry as though he needed a pair of glasses, but as time progressed it would have gotten worse. Though he may not have not have noticed, his tox screen showed a high level of narcotics in his system.’

‘Narcotics? Like drugs?’ Steve asked, confused.

‘Heroin, Cocaine and large amounts of benzodiazepines.’ The doctor supplied, Steve scrunched up his face. ‘He’s very lucky they were careful with their dosages or he very could have been killed.’

‘What about his heart is the arc reactor working?’ Steve filled a cup with water and walked back to Tony, taking his hand again as he sat down.

‘Doctor Banner was able to place the new one, we took some scans beforehand to make sure there were no new fractures in his sternum and to check the placement of the shrapnel. The shrapnel hasn’t moved much closer to the heart muscle, but there is a significant fracture in the sternum that is going to take a very long time to heal. Mr Stark is going to have to be careful and insure he doesn’t take any hard blows to the chest or the remaining bone could fracture completely and collapse inwards. It would kill him.’ Steve didn’t think his eyes could get any wider, but that news terrified him.

Tony was reckless, with no regard for his own safety. _Unless he wakes up blind and it won’t matter anyway, he won’t want to live like that._ Steve shuddered, nauseas.

‘He goes septic what do we do?’ He asked instead, keeping his mind away from those thoughts, now was not the time to dwell on it.

The doctor shuffled his feet, folding his hands over his chest. ‘We put him on ECMO. Or extra-corporeal membrane oxygenation. It is a last resort method used in complete respiratory or cardiovascular failure. _But_ it comes with its own risk, desaturating, poor circulation and tissue death.’            

‘I am not going to even pretend I understood that.’ Steve said, drawing an honest laugh from the doctor. ‘When will you know for sure if he’s responding?’

‘We give him another six hours, run broad spectrum antibiotics and take multiple cultures to try and find the source of the infection and work out what we need to do to treat it. The medical field is its own enemy sometimes, we over treat with medication we don’t need and get super bugs in return.’ Steve winced at that.

‘Back in my day we didn’t have the chance, it’s a miracle I survived as long as I did.’ He looked back down at Tony, frowning sadly. He had to pull through this, there was so much he wanted to tell the other man.

‘Captain Rogers your presence is requested downstairs.’ Steve looked up and nodded at Jarvis, the doctor jumping in fright and trying to cover it up with a cough and bustling over Tony’s file.

‘Be right there Jarvis.’ He stood up and held out his hand again. ‘Thank you Doctor Myer’s, if anything changes please do not hesitate to contact me.’ He nodded assertively, turned back to Tony and ran a hand through his hair before turning and leaving.

Steve hoped it was his turn to have words with Dawson, there was a lot of things he wanted to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter for three days sorry guys!
> 
> A traumatic brain injury or (TBI) can cause loss of vision like this if the swelling is left untreated.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for the delay in posting! Easter Sunday I was admitted to hospital for emergency surgery. I have some chapters already typed up to fill in with for now but I don't know when I will be able to get back to writing. Could be a week as I am i a bit of pain.   
> Again sorry for the delay!

Agent Coulson was waiting for him alone in the communal lounge room when Steve stepped off the elevator, holding a file loosely in one hand and a coffee cup in the other. It was one of their characterised ones, and Steve was hit with a wave of miserable nostalgia. Was it really just one week ago they had been sitting in the kitchen sharing excited chatter over their cups and Clint’s Hulk slippers?

Bypassing the waiting agent Steve headed for the kitchen instead, he had a feeling he was going to need his own cup of coffee for this. He considered pulling down his own special mug but found he didn’t have the stomach to drink from it right now and went for a pearly white one instead, filling it almost to the brim before he headed back towards Phil and sat down on the sofa.

‘I hope you don’t mind I sent Clint and Natasha to bed, I found them sleeping on here.’ Phil said as way of hello as he sat down too, folder going on the coffee table as he crossed his legs and drank his coffee. Steve just nodded his okay, sipping on his own, mind still upstairs with Tony and the overwhelming amount of information the doctor had just given him. ‘How is Tony doing?’

Steve had known the question would come, and that he was expected to answer. But how did he put it in to words without sounding quiet as a grim as doctor Myer’s had made it sound? ‘They don’t know if he is going to pull through.’ He settled on, watching Phil’s face fall a little before forming back in to bored indifference. ‘Some infection the doctors can’t pinpoint, something called sepsis being a possibility.’ Steve didn’t know whether he should share that Tony was most likely blind too, it didn’t feel like his place to.

Phil placed his cup down and rubbed his temples, sighing deeply. ‘Dawson isn’t giving us anything, won’t tell us who he went through to obtain Stark or what the aim of the kidnapping was in the first place. It’s obvious from the emails Jarvis has uncovered that there’s a third party involvement here but he isn’t sharing. Just keeps making lewd comments about Tony.’ Steve squeezed his hands around the mug tightly.

They had rescued Tony naked, the swollen rope burns around his neck and wrists, fingerprint bruises around his hips. It didn’t take a lot of effort to put them together and come to an understanding, Steve hadn’t wanted to ask the doctor to confirm it though, feared if he had said yes he would have vomited on the nice man’s shoes and gone on a homicidal rampage for Dawson. It was nobody place to take sexual favour from another person without their explicit permission. Dawson had had Tony for a whole week to whatever he wanted.

‘Should I try talking to him?’ Steve asked, leaving no room to be turned down by Phil. He was going to talk to the man regardless of what the agent said to him.

‘Strictly intimidation, we can’t risk losing legislation over this due to violence. Dawson isn’t stupid he’ll sing abuse and get removed from our jurisdiction.’ Phil leaned forward and picked up the folder, passing it to Steve. ‘What we have so far, it’s not a lot but it’s a start.’ Steve took it and flipped through it, scowling at the paper. Most of it was transcript of the interview Phil had already done, Dawson had indeed made a lot of comments about Tony and how he had taken it “like a willing slut”.

Maybe he wasn’t the person to be going in there and doing this, he respected and liked Tony too much as a person to sit idly by while this person talked so lowly of Tony. ‘You’ll need someone else on stand-by I can’t make any promises that if he makes another comment like this that I won’t lash out.’ Steve admitted, he didn’t want this taken out of their jurisdiction. Phil nodded and took the file back.

‘I’ll have Natasha on the sidelines, after she gets some rest which I suggest you also try and do Captain. We are holding Dawson in a very small cell right now, letting him sweat it out before we start again.’ Phil downed the rest of his coffee and stood up again. ‘Mind if I have another cup? I’m heading back to the warehouse with some more agents to sweep the area, see if there is anything we can use, missed video footage or information regarding the transaction.’

Steve nodded, standing with the agent and following him to the kitchen. ‘Have you got Jarvis trying to track the transaction, following the bank accounts?’ He asked, holding out his mug as Phil poured more coffee.

‘We have but it looks like it’s a lot of dummy corporations set up, go through one backdoor and there is ten more waiting to lead you down the wrong path.’

‘It is indeed keeping me busy Agent Coulson.’ Jarvis piped up, letting them know he was still on the case. ‘However I feel I am getting closer to decoding the original bank account and company that organised the hit.’

‘What else do you have on the emails?’ Steve asked, he hadn’t seen the other ones that Jarvis had pulled up from Dawson’s account. They hadn’t even been encrypted; Steve was both thankful and amazed at the stupidity of the man for leaving them out in the open. It took someone very sure that they wouldn’t be caught, or someone very stupid to leave information like that out in the open. But then as far as Steve knew, the world wasn’t even aware that Jarvis, such a comprehensive AI even existed within Stark Industries.

Jarvis was a very well-kept secret.

Tony had told him once that the nature and ability of Jarvis was too dangerous and ahead of their time to be released to the public, so Tony kept him under wraps and only connected to his own technology within and out of the tower. Steve had respected that decision; he couldn’t imagine someone like Hydra having access to something like Jarvis who had so much reach in to the internet and so many capabilities.

‘Just the basics outlining the purchase, which in of itself is strange. How was it missed that somehow, Stark was being sold to the highest bidder?’ Phil leant back against the counter as he sipped at his coffee, brow scrunched in thought. ‘If someone was auctioning Tony off it would have been flagged on our servers, or Jarvis would have picked up on it.’

‘Indeed. Sir has me periodically scan the internet for mention of his name to remove anything illegal pertaining to himself.’ Huh, Steve had no idea Tony was that paranoid.

Steve stood up straight suddenly. ‘They referred to him as Light Heart on the emails Jarvis, have another look under that name.’ It was a long shot, and the possibility of the search baring a plethora of useless stuff related to the subject was high; but Jarvis knew what he was doing and what to look for.

‘To think everyone thinks you’re just the star spangled man with a plan.’ Steve looked up at that, Clint was walking in to kitchen looking unkempt and sleepy as he reached for the coffee pot between him and Phil. ‘So far you’ve made all the homeruns on this.’

‘I thought I ordered you to bed.’ Phil said, unamused to see Barton up and about.

‘You did sir, I slept for a whole hour.’ With that he gulped down the whole mug in one go. ‘Barton ready and reporting for duty.’ He saluted with the mug and slumped against the bench before turning to Steve. ‘How’s our resident tin can?’

‘Barton…’ Phil warned.

‘Doctors can’t give us a definitive answer yet, too soon to tell. Odds aren’t in his favour though.’ Steve murmured, looking at the cooling dregs at the bottom of his cup. He felt Clint slump further beside him.

‘God dammit Stark.’ Clint murmured in to his chest. Steve nudged him with his shoulder as a show of support.

‘Sirs observations are currently holding stable.’ Jarvis supplied in an attempt to lighten the mood for them. Steve smiled gratefully at the ceiling. ‘I am directing several websites to your tablet as we speak Agent Coulson, pertaining to code name _Light Heart_. I believe you will find them most interesting, tracking the correct IP address now.’

Trust Tony Stark to create something so loyal and hardworking, Steve thought.

‘Huh, good find Jarvis. This could be the missing link, keep digging.’ Phil refilled his mug before moving back to the sofa. ‘Roger’s either get some sleep or spend some time with Stark, I’ll send for you oh seven hundred. Miss Potts will be able to sit Stark by then.’

Pushing himself from the bench Steve placed his mug in the sink before turning to Clint. ‘Want to come see Tony?’ The archer looked apprehensive for a minute but nodded anyway, looking a little unsure that his presence would not be appreciated.

It had taken them all a very long time to get comfortable around each other in the tower, sharing a space. Steve had initiated team dinners initially, once a week that were compulsory but breakfast ended up becoming more their thing. As soon as Steve or Bruce heated the hot plate they seemed to melt out of the woodwork and converge on the kitchen, yawning and scratching at pyjamas as someone cooked and sharing sleepy conversation. They still did the dinners, and eventually a movie afterwards. But breakfast would always be the ice breaker for them.

Smiling fondly as he remembered a hot summer morning, they had been called out early to deal with a super powered teen and they’d all come back sticky and covered in a damp layer of sweat. After coming in from the landing pad everyone had stripped down from their uniforms, having dressed over pyjamas. Clint had made a snarky remark to Tony that he was probably naked under the body suit, but the older man had surprised them all with what looked like a woman’s t-shirt. It had been when he had been with Pepper still, and he had blushed when he realised he had pulled on the wrong shirt. It took him a week, and a few surprise gifts of women’s shirts to live that down.

That was when they first learned how little of a morning person Tony was.

The elevator opened to the medical floor and Steve led them towards the Tony’s room, stopping short when people ran in and out of the room. Rushing forward he grabbed a nurse by the arm to ask what was going on. ‘His temperature spiked and his blood pressure bottomed out, it looks like he might be going in to septic shock.’

‘J-Jarvis have you contacted Pepper?’ He called out over the noise coming from the little room, he could hear the monitors screaming from here.

‘Miss Potts is on her way down now.’

Clint was holding his arm, pulling him back towards the elevator to wait for Pepper. Steve let himself be pushed in to one of the seats there and held his breath. His serum enhanced senses meant he could still hear the doctors talking frantically. ‘Push adrenaline and titrate sodium bicarb until we get systolic above fifty.’

Pepper stepped on to the wing and Steve stood to greet her, reaching out a hand as she made to run towards the room. ‘Tony!’ She shouted, drawing doctor Myer’s attention, he rushed over to them.

‘Pepper we are doing what we can to stabilise but we might need you to make a decision as his medical proxy.’ Myers face was strained with the pressure he was under, it was clear he didn’t want to push Pepper but sooner rather than later he was going to need a decision.

‘H-how l-long can you stabilise?’ Steve had never seen Pepper so undone before. She was in her pyjamas, hair a wild mess and without makeup. If she had slept it didn’t show, her face puffy and red with tears. ‘Rhodey is coming, he-he’s coming but it’ll take time.’ She stuttered, and Steve took over then, stepping up beside her and wrapping her shaking form in his arms as he struggled not to fall apart with her.

‘Stabilise him and give us ten minutes, please. It’s sudden she needs a minute to catch her breath and think about this.’ Myers accepted that answer and went back to the room, Pepper heaved in to his chest as her slight frame shook and they sank to the floor together. He clung to her tightly, rubbing her back and petting her hair. For once in his life Steve had no idea what to do, he didn’t know Tony like Pepper and Rhodey did, hadn’t been around anywhere near as long. But he was going to have to help Pepper make a decision and soon.


	10. Chapter 10

Doctor Myers didn’t come back for half an hour, in that time Steve hadn’t managed to get much more than a ‘he can’t die he’s all I have too’ from Pepper before she dropped off to sleep in his arms after he took to rocking her. Clint had gotten a blanket to lay over her and they had sat on the floor shoulder to shoulder staring at nothing until Myers approached them again, looking ten years older.

‘Lord knows how but he has stabilised.’ Steve felt Clint’s shoulders sag. ‘He may even be responding to the new medication regiment, rapid cooling has dropped his temperature below 103 for the first time since he arrived and we’ve managed to titrate his blood pressure to 70 on 48 with medication but that’s just a stop gap at the moment, he needs to be able to maintain that on his own. But for now, he is moderately out of the woods.’ Steve nodded, to numb to form words as the doctor walked away. Probably to cry, Steve thought he looked like he needed a good cry.

Should he wake Pepper? He looked down at the sleeping CEO, features soft and relaxed in sleep and he couldn’t bring himself to do it, so he stood up awkwardly without jostling her too much and headed for the nurses station. ‘Excuse me ma’am, would you happen to have a spare bed for Miss Potts?’ The nurse nodded and waved him over to a cubicle where she pulled the blankets back and let Steve set Pepper down; she stirred for a moment but burrowed in to the pillows and blankets. ‘It’s been a long day.’ Steve offered, looking down at his damp and snotty shirt when the nurse snorted and handed him a tissue.     

Clint was standing in the doorway to Tony’s room looking a little stunned and overwhelmed, the same way Steve had been when he had first walked in. It was a hard sight to take in, Tony was a live wire that spoke with actions and wild hand movements and never shut up. Steve often found himself telling Tony and Clint off for chattering too much on the comms, taunting each other. Now it seemed like both men would stay silent forever.

‘He’s going to pull through. Myers said he is reacting to the new medication that has to mean something.’ Steve said, moving past Clint and pulling two chairs up to the bedside, motioning for Clint to come in and join him.

‘Stark hates medical.’ Clint stated as he took the proffered seat. ‘We’d give each other shit for it all the time, make a joke out of it ya know?’ His eyes were fixed on the tubing coming from Tony’s chest. ‘We’d always say how we’d have to be pretty much close to death to spend a whole night here, don’t think we ever thought that would actually happen.’ Clint looked like he wanted to reach out, touch Tony in some way but couldn’t bring himself to breach the distance between them, too scared to touch the wrong thing.

They’d removed the sheet when they had tried to get his temperature down, it sat pooled around his waist now, covering his dignity and shielding his skin from direct contact with the ice packs. There were marks Steve hadn’t seen before, harsh bruising and small cuts. But he spotted the same thing that had caught Clint’s eye line. Nothing escaped the hawks gaze. Now Steve couldn’t stop staring either.

Bit marks lined Tony’s collarbone.

Red inflammation and puffy skin surrounded them. They were grotesque and Steve wanted to look away but now he knew they were there his eyes were roaming and finding other similar marks. Half-moons on Tony’s chest from fingernails, hickeys along his sternum. If Steve hadn’t been sure before, he was now and he was sure Clint knew too. The man looked like he wanted to hit something and throw up all at the same time.

Steve wanted to cover the marks, hide them for the sake of Tony and his privacy but it was too late. The fingerprints he had seen when he had first found Tony were more defined now that he was clean, four perfect fingerprints on his hip bones and waist, littering his upper arms.

What had they done to him?

Standing abruptly Steve left the room in search of the doctor. He found him sitting in the rest lounge, cradling a coffee and looked dejectedly at a spot on the ceiling. Steve hesitated on disturbing him, but when he shifted to go the doctor’s eyes met his. ‘What can I do for you captain?’ 

‘Have you tested him?’ Steve whispered, not a strong enough man to speak it aloud. ‘STD’s have you tested him?’ Myers averted his eyes, looking extremely uncomfortable with the line of questioning. Steve wanted to take it back but he couldn’t, the same way he couldn’t un-see the marks and try to lie to himself, that it hadn’t happened.

‘We did, they all came back negative.’

‘How much can trauma impact a person recovering from something like this? Is he aware of what happened, is that why he wasn’t improving?’ Steve didn’t know where that had come from, he had been told once that people in a coma were aware of what was happening around them, remembered everything. ‘Could he not want to wake up again?’

‘Captain… Steve I can’t answer that from a medical point of view. But personally, I have seen men come out of captivity with a fighting chance that have died by sheer will alone. They neglect their health, personal hygiene and let their demons consume them. A warzone is a waking nightmare when you’re smack bang in the middle of the warfare. But you’d know that yourself.’ Steve nodded dumbly. ‘Medical intervention can only do so much, we can stitch the wounds back together and administer medication but if a person isn’t mentally strong enough it can be all for nothing.’

‘Sorry for interrupting your break.’ Steve smiled and left the room, glancing down at his watch. He had two more hours before had to report to Shield and question Dawson and he would be damned if he didn’t stay by Tony’s side until then.

Clint was where he had left him, his hand had finally settled on Tony’s calf lightly and he was muttering something to the other man that Steve couldn’t pick up on. He stood in the doorway for a moment, not wanting to disturb him but a nurse brushed past and broke the peace. Clint quickly withdrew his hand and sat straight backed as the nurse took readings on the monitors.

‘Looks like he’s maintaining his blood pressure on his own now, it’s even gone up a little on its own. That’s really good news.’ She smiled at them, running a thermometer across Tony’s damp forehead. ‘Temperature is down to 102.3, he’s ticking all the boxes now!’ She seemed genuine in her excitement, Steve couldn’t help but smile back at her as he took his seat beside Clint.

‘Could he wake soon?’ Clint asked, brow furrowed.

‘We are keeping him lightly sedated for now, his body is under a lot of stress. We are giving him low doses of Suboxone to counteract the withdrawal but he’s still going to be very uncomfortable so it’s best we allow him to rest up a bit more.’ She jotted something else down and left the room.

They sat in silence for a while before Clint broke it.

‘Some pretty shit stuff happened to me when I was a teenager, I was forced to do a lot of things I didn’t want to right up until I turned twenty-one and Shield recruited me. Took me a long time to accept my past for what it was, the past.’ Steve turned to look at him. ‘It doesn’t seem right, that this would happen to Stark. He’s an abrasive asshole that can’t follow rules and doesn’t know when to keep his mouth shut, don’t get me wrong. But he didn’t deserve this.’ He had his fists clenched in his lap. ‘They didn’t give him a choice in Afghanistan so he changed his whole life, tried to be a better person. That should have been enough, he shouldn’t have had to be force fed drugs and tied up in some factory for a week just because he has a brain and mind of his own.’

Steve had never heard Tony explained like this. But he could see where Clint was coming from.  

‘Do the others know?’ Steve didn’t need to ask what he was talking about.

‘They’ll probably work it out. Bruce will already know.’ Should he tell Clint about Tony’s eyes? If he woke up there would be no hiding it.

Silence filled the room again, the nurse coming in periodically smiling and informing them that Tony was continuing to make improvement.

‘He’s blind.’ Steve blurted. The statement hung stagnant in the air around them, hovering over their heads with a heavy weight that threatened to come down and crush them. Clint hadn’t moved an inch, he just sat ram rod straight in his seat staring ahead before standing up abruptly and snatching the folder from the end of Tony’s bed and scanning through the notes. He threw the folder on the floor and kicked it, pacing angrily back and forth.

‘We took too damn long.’ He hissed.

And wasn’t that the one thing that had been playing over and over in his head since they had gotten there to watch Tony collapse lifelessly from Dawson’s arms. Too late, too slow, not quick enough. He had phrased it a million ways in the end always coming to the same conclusion. Always ended with Tony staring lifelessly at nothing in front of him, at everything he would never see again. The failure was consuming him. Eating him up from the inside out, bit by bit.

‘He’ll adapt.’ They both jumped around, startled by Pepper’s sudden appearance. ‘He spent three months in a cave, and came back with a magnet in his chest and armour. If there is one thing Tony Stark knows how to do, it is adapting.’ She walked over and sat on the edge of the mattress, gripping his hand tightly. ‘I’ve never seen him give up yet.’

Pausing in his pacing Clint looked at Tony and groaned, upset. ‘Being Iron Man was everything to him.’

‘Is Clint, don’t give up on him now. Tony is one of the most advanced minds in medical technology, has the world’s leading biological scientist sleeping upstairs in his tower. They’ll come up with something together.’ Pepper sounded so sure, Steve wished he could hold on to that hope but he couldn’t it slipped through his fingers like sand and scattered along the ground.

After a moment Clint sat back down again as the nurse came back in with the doctor who smiled tiredly at them. Myers laid a hand on Pepper’s shoulder as he pressed some buttons on the monitor. ‘We can take off the ice packs now, it looks like his temperature is on the downward spiral holding steady at 102.00, still a little high but out of the danger zone for now.’ He took in the readouts on the monitor and nodded in satisfaction. ‘Blood pressure is holding too, 88 over 50 they are some mighty good numbers.’

‘His heart?’ Pepper asked, sounding hopeful.

‘Still bradycardic and cause for concern. He’s still throwing PVC’s and the monitor at the nurse’s station has picked up a few spots of atrial fibliration that have self-reverted. Tony’s average heart rate during check-ups has been resting around one hundred and ten to ninety beats a minute. I’m worried that it’s persistently sitting in the low 30’s it should have increased by now.’ Myers turned back to the nurse. ‘Let’s get another EKG and see if we can’t get a hold of a portable ultra sound from somewhere, get his cardiologist back in here too.’

Pepper stood from the bed and moved over to Steve and Clint, taking the offered hand from Steve as she perched on the arm of the chair. The watched as Myers listened to Tony’s chest and checked dressings. ‘He’s still heavily congested, but if he continues to improve I’d like to look at removing him from the ventilator. With pneumonia it can be a double edged sword when using ventilation, his lungs are weak at the moment and that makes him liable to dependence on the vent so I want to start weaning him as soon as I think it’s safe which might be in the next few hours.’

‘What if he can’t breathe?’ Clint snapped, irritable. The doctor just gave him a weary look.

‘We wouldn’t allow him to stop breathing Mr Barton, he’ll be weaned off under very close observation but we can’t take the risk of dependence or he could be on it for the rest of his life.’ Clint had the courage to looked ashamed for the doctors scolding. ‘In the meantime the main concern is still the infection, we may be on top of it right now but a relapse is always a possibility. We’ll run regular cultures to keep on top of it, do a few more tests on his heart and go from there. Any questions?’

Clearing her throat Pepper asked, ‘how sure are we about his vision?’ Steve looked at up Myers intently, squeezing Pepper’s hand.

‘Pupils are equal and non-reactive to external stimulus Pepper, we’ve been over this, don’t do this to yourself- any of you. This comes down on the people who abducted Mr Stark, not any of you.’ He gave them all a stern look before exiting.

‘Captain Rogers might I remind you that you are required to be at Shield within the next hour.’ Jarvis sounded forlorn over the speakers. Steve assumed he had been listening to what they doctor had to say. He made a mental note to ask Jarvis how he was holding up when he got back to the tower.

With a large stretch he offered Pepper his seat before leaning over Tony and brushing a hand through his hair, leaning in close to murmur; ‘don’t you give up on us now shell head, a lotta people here waiting for you.’           


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should be able to start posting a bit more now, I am off pain killers and have full movement back in my head. Yay!   
> Lots of Tony feels.

Waves of awareness were crashing over Tony; he let them submerge over him as he stayed just beneath the surface. Existing in the tumultuous ebb and flow of reality that towered over him, he allowed it to roll over him. Snatches of sound and touch, a beeping, crisp feel of stiff linen around his waist before he went under again. Fighting it. He wasn’t ready to fully break the surface yet, didn’t want to accept reality. But his body was betraying him, gasping and thrashing against him for a snatch of awareness.

Someone was holding his hand; small and delicate, cool fingers wrapped around his. A little voice in the back of his head was telling him to open his eyes, but he had a feeling it wouldn’t make any difference. Last thing he remembers being his vision tunneling to darkness, overwhelming fear and resignation. ‘It’s gone.’ He rasped instead, the small hand squeezing and jolting in shock. ‘S’all gone.’ Tony slurred, not sure what he was referring to exactly but knowing all the same.

There was so much pain, he wanted to dive back beneath the surface of the cool waters and slip back in to unconsciousness but a voice was talking excitedly above him, he automatically tried to make sense of the words, grasping at them. ‘Tony, Tony?’ That was Pepper, she sounded teary. H'd made her cry again.

Relenting he opened his eyes, blinked them a few times and felt dread sink deep in his stomach as his heart skipped a few beats from anxiety. That’s right, he thought, the thing that was gone. His vision. He blinked again just to be sure, felt Pepper’s hand get impossibly tighter as another dropped down on his cheek, making him flinch violently and send a spear of pain through his whole body. Pepper didn’t pull her hand away though and he pathetically pressed his cheek in to it with a pathetic keening sound.

‘You’re okay Tony; you’re at the tower in the medical wing. You’ve been asleep for twenty-four hours you’ve been sick but you’ll be okay.’ Tony could hear the wetness in her voice, little stuttering breaths as warm dry lips pressed down on his forehead in what had to be relief.

Tony could feel his skin burning, sweat sliding down the base of his neck and collecting at the small of his back, dampening the scratchy sheet. _Everything_ hurt, from his eyes right down to his toes that he gave an experimental wiggle, moving his fingers next shifting them against Pepper’s cooler ones. ‘Wh’appened?’ His mouth didn’t want to work his tongue thick and dry. Talking grated on his throat and vocal chords.

‘How much do you remember?’ He couldn’t pinpoint where Pepper was, she’d withdrawn her hand from his cheek but there was a sudden dip in the mattress on his left side, he turned his head that way hopefully, scrunching his brow in thought trying to work through the heated haze overcoming him. God he was so hot.

‘Acc’dent… kin-apped.’ It seemed that was all he was getting out, he coughed violently jarring something in his chest. Then he remembered his arc reactor and the sharp sound of reinforced glass cracking, pain. Someone digging it from his chest. His hands frantically went to his bare chest resting over the warm glass and feeling for damage.

Even though the reactor felt whole beneath his damp shaking fingers he could tell something was wrong, his chest didn’t feel right, irregular and too heavy. ‘Pep?’ He gasped, scrabbling at the device. He only had one hand free, the other was strapped across his stomach, something strong and unfamiliar holding it there. His shoulder burned when he tried to move it.

‘Hey no- no Tony don’t move too much you can’t, stop that.’ Pepper took his only free hand again in both of hers protecting him from himself. ‘You were badly injured Tony, Bruce had to replace the reactor but it’s all better now. Jarvis said it’s working properly.’ God everything was so dark, he couldn’t pinpoint anything outside of the pain and overwhelming amount of noise.

‘Miss Potts is everything ok- oh Mr Stark!’ Another voice, further away. Tony flinched back against the bed, frightened. His chest was uncovered; everyone could see the arc reactor and had access to it. Someone was going to take it.

He panicked.   

Pulling his hand from Pepper’s he sat up, trying to swing his legs over the edge of the bed as he panted heavily. His legs didn’t follow and he felt himself fall sideways as he overbalanced on the edge of the mattress. He couldn’t see, what was happening, his breaths came shorter and shorter wheezing loudly before he was in free fall shouting hoarsely as he hit the ground.

‘Need help in here!’ That foreign voice, calling for more backup. She was going to take his arc reactor; they would pull it from his chest again. Machines were blaring around him, Pepper’s panicked voice registering somewhere in the background. The ground was cold as he panted against it, coughing something wet from his throat. He rolled; trying to get his one arm under him so he could retreat, get away. Not that he knew where to go, the black was impenetrable. ‘Mr Stark you are going to hurt yourself more. You need to stay still, please.’ She was right in front of him now and hands settled on his chest and shoulder, above the reactor.

Tony lost it, he screamed bloody murder and lashed out, connecting with soft flesh before pulling his legs against his chest, or he tried to, something heavy and constricting stopped his left leg from moving. Oh god, pain.

‘Everyone stay back!’ Pepper in her authority voice, the one she used on him when he was being extra difficult about a board meeting or paper work. ‘Get out of the room, now.’ She was pissed, was she pissed at him? Had he done something? He couldn’t just let them get their hands on the reactor, he couldn’t. ‘Tony I am going to kneel down in front of you and take your hand; it’s only me Pepper Potts, CEO of Stark Industries- your best friend.’ She was reassuring him, he felt her body move down in front of him, smelt her nervous sweat as a hand closed around his directly over the reactor.

But Pepper wouldn’t take it from him; she’d been wrist deep in the casing before. She hadn’t tried to hurt him then, she wouldn’t do that now. She directed his hand to what felt like her stomach. ‘Breathe with me Tony,’ she took a deep breath ‘in and out, slow and steady just like that. Nobody is going to hurt you; you know I won’t let them.’ Tony breathed with her, lungs seizing and protesting the effort that it took, he coughed again feeling more gunk come loose and run down his chin.

‘It’s Thursday afternoon four thirty five; you are in the medical wing of Avengers tower. I’m here, Jarvis is here, and Rhodey is on his way here now. Breathe in for me, come on in and out nice and steady.’

Bless Pepper he thought, wheezing a little easier now. ‘That’s the way, you’re doing so good.’ Her voice sounded wet again, that was his fault. He had to stop making her cry. Wasn’t that one of the reasons that they had broken up? ‘Two nurses are going to come in to the room now, they will have to touch you to get you back in bed. I’m not going anywhere though, I will be right here to make sure they don’t hurt you.’

Tony just nodded, he couldn’t find the energy for words.

‘Okay Mr Stark we are going to lift you up now okay?’ He nodded, flinching at the proximity and the cold hands that settled on him under his back and the bend of his knees, a wave of vertigo hit him as they lifted him suddenly and placed him professionally back on the bed. He promptly vomited over the side of the bed, unsure if he had gotten it on anyone as he retched and coughed in agony, a fresh wave of sweat breaking out over his body. ‘Get Doctor Myers.’ The female nurse, he registered that now.

‘Oh Tony…’ Pepper, she hadn’t touched him again yet. Probably worried he would vomit on her too.

‘M-m-my eyes.’ Tony stuttered out. Someone was pressing something cold in to his hand, a dish of some sort.

‘Emesis basin, in case you feel sick again.’ Right, vomit. He turned his head wildly, wishing he could see Pepper’s face. The panic hadn’t left yet, he felt like rotten trash but he longed for familiarity.

‘Th-they were th-there and then n-not.’ He dropped the basin and brought his hand to his face, waving it in front of his sightless eyes. Panic was making room for hysteria now, he laughed. ‘Poof.’ His hand dropped back down in his lap with another little giggle. He was noticing more now, outside of the panic and pain. The lines and tubes, a small trickle of blood down his chest where something burned. Intrusions in his nose, his neck. Small little stings in amongst deeper aches that had set up their home in his body.

‘I’m going to hold your hand Tony.’ The only warning he got before Pepper took his hand again, holding on for dear life. ‘They weren’t sure what you’d remember, didn’t expect you to wake up so soon either so we weren’t prepared.’

‘H-h-how long?’ Damn that stutter, Tony hated himself for sounding so weak.

‘One week.’

Seven days, that man had had him for a whole week. Tony could vaguely remember snatches here and there. Blurry memories before his eye sight just abandoned ship on him. The time spent in that bed, which rekindled the pain he had solidly been blocking from his memory. Suddenly sitting down wasn’t easy, he needed to shift the pressure, ease the discomfort so he tried to shift down in the bed, tipping a little when he couldn’t find the edge of the mattress and nearly went over again.

This was going to be the new normal for him; he was never going to be stable again. Always precariously close to an edge he couldn’t see, useless to everyone around him without his sight. How was he going to keep the company afloat now when he couldn’t design and tinker? _Not the time for that Stark_ he scolded himself.

‘Who?’ He asked instead; finally lower enough in the bed that the pressure on his ass wasn’t unbearable. Sweat was running off him in torrents now, he was panting in discomfort. His lungs felt like they were filled with wet cotton wool, he hacked again.

Pepper didn’t respond immediately, she just shifted their entwined hands. ‘Marcus Dawson.’

 _Son of a bitch._ He had known that voice had been so familiar. The widows peak of salt and pepper hair. Dawson hated him. He was in charge of the budgets, the money that went in and out of SI. He’d had a bee in his bonnet with Tony since had shut down weapons manufacturing and taken down Obie. Tony had suspected he was involved in dealing weapons under the table but had never been able to find evidence strong enough to warrant firing him without a messy court case following.

‘There’s more to it than just Dawson though, Shield are working on it now but it looks like this could just be a small part of a bigger picture.’ Tony nodded, leaning back against the cushions and closing his eyes.

At least now he would have a valid excuse for wearing his ridiculous sunglasses inside, the ones Steve always gave him a hard time about.

‘Tony my friend! We need to stop meeting under these circumstances! Abduction should not be the only way I get you to sit still long enough for an examination.’ Tony was glad it was Myers, the man didn’t handle him with kid gloves, and he didn’t think he could handle that right now. ‘I thought your brief vacation overseas would’ve kept you out of trouble for a few more years at least!’ He felt Pepper wince beside him, but he could deal with this. Sarcasm and humour came easy to him.

‘So-sorry doc, no c-can do. Life i-in the fast la-lane and all that, com-comes with the teri-territory.’ He gasped out, trying to smile.

‘Heard you had a panic attack, how we doing now?’ A cuff was placed back around his arm again, Pepper let go of his hand to make room for the doctor and Tony missed her touch immediately.

‘B-better.’ His voice was shaking so much, his throat hurt aching with the rest of his body. He couldn’t stop shaking. The cuff blew up on his arm, making him wince.

‘Well we will let the loyal machines and my medical degree be the decider in that shall we?’ A cold metal touched his chest, he shivered. ‘Breathe in nice and deep for me.’ Tony tried to but his breath caught half way through and he coughed violently struggling to get his breath back, he couldn’t breathe. A cold mask was pressed over his mouth and nose. ‘You have a very nasty case of pneumonia, you already have a thirty percent decrease in lung capacity due to casing and this has reduced you down another twenty percent you won’t be breathing normally for a while.’

That explained it. The monitor beeped and the doctor made a small humming noise of concern. Tony wished he could see the readouts, he hated being blind. He was going to go insane. ‘Blood pressure has dropped again, after we worked so hard to get it back up. You dizzy?’ Tony nodded, breathing in the medicated mist from the mask, feeling it tickle the back of his throat. ‘You are maxed out on vasodilators at the moment, but we’ll increase the flow of your fluids see if that can’t help a little. Little bit of pressure on your forehead.’ He appreciated the warning as something ran across the damp skin.

‘What is it?’ Pepper asked, concerned.

‘Fever has spiked again, back at 104.3 and I not happy with that. Could be the exertion of falling out of bed and being awake but I want to start the cool down therapy again? May!’ He barked, Tony jumped a mile in the bed, wincing. ‘Sorry Tony.’ A cool hand landed on his shoulder again and Tony thought he was just going to vacate his skin completely soon. ‘Grab some cooling pads and ice pack and some fresh saline from the fridge for me will you?’

‘Anything-g el-se you a-aren’t tell-telling me doc?’ Tony asked, coughing in to the mask.

‘Nothing slips past you Tony. Six hours ago you went in to septic shock, we were able to stabilise and get the infection to retreat but it looks like it might be rearing its head again.’

Sepsis, Tony had battled that before shortly after his stint in a cave. He didn’t have much memory of the fortnight he spent in a private hospital, but Pepper and Rhodey had informed him it had been a very close call after he spent a solid week in a coma. ‘How’s the pain?’

‘Ever-everywhere.’ He grunted, and that of itself was an admission to how bad it was. Tony knew he was well known in the medical wing for downplaying everything dramatically.

‘You have a choice here Tony, when you came in your body was full of enough drugs to fuel a drug den for a month, we’ve had you on Suboxone to counter withdrawal but we have been withholding stronger pain medication to avoid dependence, swapping one addiction for another. Now we can administer something stronger, help keep you comfortable or we can continue detox. It’s up to you.’

‘P-pain k-killers, low do-dose.’ He said, shifting on the bed in discomfort. He was really starting to sweat now and it was uncomfortable and sticky on his skin.

‘Are you sure Tony?’ Pepper was by his side again; hand on his strapped bicep, offering support. He just nodded; he was rapidly exhausting against the tremors of fever and pain.

‘We will keep it strictly controlled, watch out for break through pain so you don’t become too dependent.’ Tony heard pen on paper. ‘May is back, she’s your nurse for tonight, this is going to be a little cold Tony.’ Pepper withdrew again and Tony couldn’t help the whine that escaped his pursed lips behind the mask at her loss.  She was his strawberry blonde anchor.

The shock that came with the cooling pads hit him hard, jarring everything and setting off another trickle of warm blood down his chest. He lifted a hand to where it was and felt around, fingers finding a tube protruding between his ribs. ‘Careful with that.’ Doctor Myer’s hands closed over his and drew them away. ‘We’ll get that cleaned up, most of pulled it when you tried to heroically jump out of bed.’ He flinched when two ice packs were placed around his groin, god they were cold.

‘Let’s get Mr Stark some fentanyl, and lorazepam.’ He jumped again when another ice pack was placed under his arm pit, was all of this really needed, it seemed excessive. He shivered. ‘Anymore questions Tony?’

‘Arc reactor.’ He forced out, placing a hand over his chest.

‘Dr Banner was the only one to handle that, you were in cardiac arrest by the time you got here but once the reactor had been replaced you resumed rhythm. The sternum is fractured, you’re going to have to be very careful for a few months Tony one hard strike to that area will shatter what’s left of the bone. We did some scans to check the placement of the shrapnel but it doesn’t look like it’s travelled too much. Your cardiologist will come by tomorrow to re-review, you’re still dangerously bradycardic and irregular you’ve been throwing a pretty impressive amount of PVC’s.’

‘Muscle d-da-d-damage.’ Tony wheezed, coughing again as the mask was removed and replaced with the nasal cannulas.

‘We think so, EKG is showing early signs of heart failure. It looks like your pace maker may have malfunctioned or over compensated for something and consistently shocked the heart and damaged the muscle. We are outsourcing a portable ultrasound to have a better look, but we may need to book you at the cath lab at the hospital for a better look when you’re more on the mend.’ Tony nodded, he could remember the sharp little zaps that he had periodically felt.

Someone touched his neck, and god was he ever going to get used to that or stop jumping out of his skin when he was touched, but after a moment he didn’t care as warmth flooded through his system and he melted back in the mattress. He closed his eyes appreciatively as the pain abated to more manageable levels and his muscles went malleable. He felt like pleasant mush and found he didn’t much care.

‘He didn’t ask about his eyes, is that okay?’ He could hear Pepper talking with doctor Myers but he didn’t care, letting the drugs wash over him.

‘Either he is pretending it’s not happening or he remembers losing it. Only he knows the answer to that though. Keep an eye on him Miss Potts, I’ll come by again tonight.’ Tony should have been offended by that, he could watch himself (haha that would never stop being funny) he was a grown man. But sleep was slipping over him like a comfortable skin and he didn’t care about anything else but oblivion right now.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not 100% sold on the way I have Tony planned to react to his loss of sight just yet but it is a working timeline that will progress as we get further in to the story!   
> Happy reading!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this chapter four times, deleted three of them and then settled on this one which I am still not completely satisfied with if I am honest.

 With a frustrated sigh Steve stepped out of the elevator on to the medical floor and shuffled his feet towards Tony room, he had spent the past five hours in the bowels of a Shield building in a cold windowless room listening to Marcus Dawson share intimate, lewd comments about Tony that had set his teeth on edge. If Natasha hadn’t been in the room with him, there was a good chance more than the table may have ended up dented and damaged. The man had gotten under Steve’s skin quickly, but they had been able to use Steve’s burst of rage to their advantage.

They had gotten a small amount of information out of Marcus. Natasha was following up on it now, trying to uncover a hidden email and locate a decryption key. Turned out Tony wasn’t the only one that had been auctioned off online, there were other names. It had frustrated Steve that they hadn’t been able to work out who was behind it all, or what the intended end result was to be in regards to taking Tony in the first place.

It hadn’t helped that Dawson _had_ spent the first solid three hours taunting them, now there were obscene things running around his head that he wanted nothing more than to permanently erase from his mind. Instead he was settling for seeing Tony and assuring himself he was okay and safe now, no longer in the clutches of that greasy mind.

Stepping in to the room he was surprised to find it empty, he had fully expected to find Pepper there or maybe someone else from the team. He found he didn’t mind though, he appreciated the chance to have someone alone time with Tony for the first time since he had been taken. The small plastic chair had been replaced with something a little plusher, and Steve was relieved to sink down in to the cushioned seat especially after spending five hours in the cold and unforgiving chair in Shield.

Scooting a little closer to the bed he reached out and took Tony’s hand, grimacing at the heat in the weak limb. They’d had Tony back for over twenty-four hours now and he still didn’t look any better, he was cleaner now no longer naked but that seemed to be the extent of it. His face was still sunken and pale with fever cheeks; he somehow looked like he had even lost a little more weight.

‘Jarvis do you know where Pepper is?’ Steve turned his attention to the AI, heart sinking a little that Tony wasn’t improving.

‘Miss Potts had to attend a board meeting, it is estimated she won’t return for another three hours.’ Jarvis supplied efficiently.

‘Has anyone else been up here?’ Steve sank back in his chair, squeezing Tony’s hand a little more when he groaned in his sleep

‘Doctor Banner sat with sir for an hour after Miss Potts left; Agent Barton came up with Thor Odinson and sat with him until Thor became too upset and his lightening disrupted the machinery and the nurses asked him to leave.’ Steve smirked, that sounded like something Thor would do. Tony was always complaining about the amount of appliances that needed repaired or replaced in the kitchen thanks to their resident God of Thunder.

‘Where is everyone now?’ Steve made a mental note to arrange a team meal, everyone was suffering from this and they could probably all use the company right now.

‘Doctor Banner is on lockdown in his lab, bar Avenger duties or any changes to Sirs condition, Agent Barton is in the gym doing a good impersonation of yourself Captain and giving the bags a run for their money and Thor is currently in the kitchen eating his second loaf of bread, I currently fear for the toaster oven.’ Steve snickered, he was shocked that he had but it slipped past his lips regardless. Trust Tony’s AI to be so comedic.

‘Let me know if I need to step in and protect the toasters rights Jarvis.’ Steve smiled at the ceiling. ‘How are you holding up Jarvis?’ He wasn’t sure if Jarvis was able to emote emotions or concern but Steve had heard him being sassy to Tony enough times anything was possible.

‘I am concerned for Sirs wellbeing, but unfortunately there is nothing else I can do for him right now.’ How an artificial intelligence could actually sound forlorn, Steve had no idea but it made his heart hurt. Then he perked up.

‘Actually there is something you can do, Natasha is at Shield at the moment in the computer lab trying to hunt down a hidden email that we missed, it’s hidden by a decryption and needs a fresh one to unlock it. If you would like something to do you are welcome to work with Natasha on that, I can call her back to the tower.’ Steve looked up to the ceiling in question.

‘Of course captain, it would be my pleasure to assist.’

‘It’s the only lead we got from Dawson, there’s a whole list of people being auctioned off online. We are hoping it will give us something on the people behind this.’  Tony moaned again; face scrunching up a little around a wet cough. The room fell silent for a moment as Steve watched him, waiting to see if he would wake up.  

When the other man didn’t stir Steve sighed again, shifted his position and stared down at their entwined hands. ‘Has Tony woken up again?’

‘Sir has been asleep for the past six hours, though a little restless.’ Jarvis supplied.

They fell in to a comfortable silence, Steve assumed Jarvis was looking for the hidden email and pulled out his phone and text Natasha to come back to the Tower to work with Jarvis. Just as he hit send Tony squeezed his hand making him jump, Steve’s eyes shot up to meet unfocused blank ones. It was disconcerting to stare in to the brown orbs, they didn’t focus on him and Steve wanted to look away but felt guilty for even thinking that.

‘Who’s there?’ Tony mumbled, swallowing audibly around a hoarse throat as his head turned a little trying to seek out Steve.

‘Hey it’s Steve.’ He squeezed Tony’s hand again, feeling a clench of guilt in his stomach when Tony struggled to focus his gaze in his vague direction.

‘Wa-er?’ Steve reached behind him for the cup with the straw and held it between them for a moment, suddenly awkward. He’d gotten his wish for Tony to wake up and now he had absolutely no idea what to do or how to approach it, his guilt swelled up and he faltered. ‘Ste’?’

‘Yeah- yeah sorry straw incoming,’ he moved the cop to Tony’s mouth and positioned the straw between chapped lips ‘here we go.’ Tony moaned in relief as he sucked on the water, turning his head to indicate he was finished. ‘Let me know if you want some more.’ He placed the cup back on the side table. ‘How are you doing?’ _Dammit, smooth Steve_ , he berated himself, wincing at his own stupidity.

Tony quirked his eyebrows at him with a grimace, his eyes had slipped shut again. ‘Really?’ He wheezed, coughing and pressing against Steve’s hand. Unsure whether he should let go now that Tony was awake he moved to remove his hand but Tony held on tighter. ‘No don’’ he stuttered ‘helps me centre.’ Steve relaxed for a moment, entwining their fingers again.

‘I’m so sorry Tony, we should have moved faster and gotten to you earlier all of this could have been avoided.’ Steve spewed out, wincing at his own voice and the desperation there. Tony had his eyes open again, his face turned toward Steve with what he thought might be an annoyed expression but fell a mile short from pain and exhaustion.

‘Don ‘polgize Steve, not your fau-fault.’ Steve looked away, the guilt roiling in his stomach anew with Tony’s attempt to placate him. It wasn’t Tony’s place to try and make Steve feel better, that was Steve’s job for failing his team mate and best friend and allowing him to be snatched from right under their noses and tortured, stripped of his sight and dignity.

‘Tony… you shouldn’t have had to go through this. We are Avengers and that man had you for a whole week. It took us too long to find you, we should have done better!’ Steve snapped, not meaning to raise his voice quiet so much when Tony winced. ‘Sorry, sorry.’ He hung his head in shame. ‘We might have a lead though; Jarvis and Natasha are working on it now.’

‘Yay team.’ Tony wheezed, shifting on the sheets with a grimace. ‘Sweat, gross.’ Tony moaned, Steve gave a soft smile. ‘J?’

‘It is good to see you awake sir.’ Tony smiled around a grimace, moving on the bed again and catching Steve’s attention.

‘Are you in pain?’ Steve asked, concerned when his friend gave another moan and tried to shift down the bed, warm ice packs going with him. Tony’s face scrunched up again and he shook his head, wiggling his fingers in Steve’s grip.

‘Hot… _God_.’ Tony groaned again, pushing against Steve’s hand. Steve squeezed back in response trying to comfort the man as best as he could. They sat in silence for a moment as Tony squirmed in discomfort. Eventually Steve relented and stood up; Tony keened at the loss of contact. Heading for the small bathroom he filled a tub with some cool water and dunked several face washers in there and headed back to Tony.

‘Do you want me to get the nurse?’ Tony shook his head and coughed again, wheezing.

Steve sat on the edge of the bed with the bowl poised in his lap while he rang out the cloth, remembering when he had been a boy and his mum had spent time doing this with him when he had been sickly. They were silent as Steve continued to cool down Tony’s forehead, the other man was mumbling nonsense to himself and Steve found himself smiling with fondness.

There had been so many times Steve had gone down to Tony’s workshop and found the man mumbling to himself erratically over the husk of a machine or a piece of technology Steve had no chance of ever understanding. He’d often find himself standing in the doorway just watching sometimes, with the same fondness he felt now as he wiped down Tony’s forehead.

Catching himself Steve blushed and looked away, he didn’t have the right to be thinking about Tony like this at the moment, and not when the man was down and had been through the week of hell. He berated himself for letting his thoughts drift off track.

‘Steve?’ Tony mumbled, turning his head towards him in confusion.

‘Still here, feeling any better?’ Tony’s brow scrunched up and his hand tightened in Steve’s as he struggled to draw in a full breath. Steve felt for the genius, he knew how hard it was to struggle for a full breath over and over again.

‘Ya have any leads?’ Shoulders dropping Steve felt the guilt return full force.

‘We might have something but we aren’t sure yet, Natasha and Jarvis are working on it as we speak.’ Placing the bowl back on the side table Steve sank back on to the bed. ‘I’m sure Jarvis will let us know if we have something.’

‘Of course Captain.’

Tony coughed again and Steve grimaced reaching for a tissue to hold to Tony’s mouth when he started bringing up green stuff. ‘Maybe I should call the nurse in.’ Steve balled and threw the tissue in the bed and grabbed the cup of water again, letting Tony know before he placed the straw between his lips. Tony drank thankfully, eyes slipping closed again with a hum of content. When he finished he just shook his head and sank back against the pillows, wheezing. ‘Come on Tony you’re pretty warm and that cough is pretty bad.’

‘Nah, its fi-fine n-no more doctors, yer here, s’nough.’ Cheeks flaming Steve smothered a small smile. ‘B-bet you’re blu-blushing.’ Steve laughed then, short and quick and Tony gave him a small smile in response.

Maybe Steve had been wrong earlier and Tony had improved a little if he was up to teasing Steve again. They shared small talk around wet coughs for a while, a nurse came in and took observations and placed fresh ice packs that made Tony try and curl in on himself before the nurse pushed something from his IV port and his unfocused eyes glazed over and fluttered close.

Steve sat and watched as he fell asleep, a soft smile on his face until Jarvis broke in announcing he and Natasha had found something. Slipping off the bed he brushed his hand through Tony’s hair and gave his hand one last squeeze before leaving.   


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extra chapter tonight to make up for the really bad one I posted earlier. Finally starting to get some answers!

‘What have we got?’ Steve had rushed downstairs to the communal lounge room, jiggling impatiently in elevator and darting out when the doors had opened. Natasha had set up base on the dining table and was surrounded by papers and holograms projected by Jarvis with a Stark pad in her hands as she looked intently at something. His heart picked up a few beats in hope that they were getting somewhere with this. ‘Natasha?’ He asked again, impatient.

Standing behind her he looked down at some of the papers but they didn’t make any sense to him, they seemed to be part of a code he couldn’t make sense of. ‘What did you find?’

‘Jarvis you need to get Bruce down here right now.’ Natasha snapped, looking up at Steve with tired but stricken eyes. ‘We got a hold of the list, Bruce is on there. Looks like they’re mostly targeting scientists and engineers.’ Natasha shared an intense look with him, unsettling his nerves. ‘Whatever these people are up to it has to be something big there are a lot of powerful names on this list.’

‘Does it tell us anything?’ Steve asked a sheet off Natasha and read it over, a lot of the names didn’t mean anything to him but his eyes settled on Bruce’s name halfway down the list below Tony’s and he furrowed his brow in confusion. ‘Why are they selling them though, this makes no sense.’

‘I don’t know but Jarvis is close to finding out who is behind this, but I think there are more emails out there or at least there needs to be, guidelines or instructions on the purchase I don’t know. This is all seems to random to possibly be this straight forward.’ Steve looked up at her in frustration; they needed more than just this list of names.

‘Jarvis how much longer till you have who posted the list?’

‘I will need another hour at the most Captain, whoever is behind this has used strong power walls and antivirus ware, I am having a little trouble getting through it.’ It didn’t bode well that the AI was struggling to get through something, Steve had never seen him fail.

‘Okay work as hard as you can, thanks.’ Steve looked down at the list again, at Tony and Bruce’s names. There were symbols beside them and he moved over to Natasha and placed it on the table, pointing them out. ‘Do we have any idea what these mean?’ He understood the dollar symbols for what they were but the arrows and crosses made no sense.

‘I saw those too, price rank perhaps?’ Natasha leaned over the list again, studying it intently until the elevator doors opened again to expel a very rumpled Bruce Banner who stepped out owlishly looking around the room a little sure.

‘What’s going on?’ He asked, walking over with his hands tucked in to his pockets to stop twisting them in front of him a nervous tick Steve had picked up on. ‘Is Tony okay, Jarvis said it was an emergency but why are we here, did something happen?’ He cast his eyes around the mess on the table, glancing at the holograms trying to find some answers to his questions.

Natasha walked around the table and approached him with the list, Steve didn’t know if this was such a good idea though with Bruce’s alter ego. The doctor needed to know his name was on the list, but everyone was still settling in around him. So far Tony was the only one completely comfortable around the man, completely unconcerned with the big green rage monster dwelling beneath his skin. ‘We were able to locate the list auctioning off Stark online, and got a little surprise in the process.’ Bruce’s eyebrows rose to his hairline as he took the paper and glanced down at it.

They watched the moment he found his own name and stepped a little closer when he barked out a short laugh. ‘No.’ He shook his head. ‘Nobody would be stupid enough to attempt this with me; it’d be a death wish on their behalf if they tried to take me down somehow and sell me off, wouldn’t happen.’ He glanced back down at the page again, taking in the names. ‘That’s a lot of biological scientists though, all over the world.’ He handed the page back to Natasha and sank in to one of the kitchen chairs burying his head in his hands shoulders slumping.

Easing back a little Steve fought the urge to sigh and run his hands through his hair. All this had achieved was putting them all on edge with a side of frustration. They needed more than this. ‘Do you know any of them personally?’ He asked.

‘One of them, we met a conference. Maya Hansen she’s a biotechnology biologist, she’s specialises in botany though, regenerative properties I believe. We spent a while talking about it at the conference. She was looking for funding to develop something that would make plants hardier and give them the ability to regrow and withstand damage from the weather.’ Bruce offered them. ‘I think Tony might have known her as well but I can’t say for sure.’

This was something, they could work with this. Steve dared to feel hopeful about it for a moment.

‘Have you seen Tony yet, he woke up earlier when Pepper was with him.’ Bruce was watching him pace around the table now, hands out of his pocket and wringing in his lap. ‘I sat with him for a while but the other guy was getting a little too upset.’

‘Yeah I just came from there, he woke up again but we didn’t talk him much. Don’t think he was up for it, he’s asleep now.’ Steve stopped pacing and settled beside the other man dropping his hand on his shoulder in a show of support. ‘This could really help us though, and we will make sure nobody has the chance to get their hands on either of you. I’ll get a hold of Fury and see if he can track down Hansen and bring her in to protective custody if we aren’t too late.’ Bruce nodded and offered a tired smile. ‘Is there anything else you might be able to remember about her?’

Natasha broke in, ‘Jarvis pull up any information you can on Maya Hansen. Don’t forget we have access to the most intelligent network on the world boys.’ She smirked as a new hologram popped up behind them, displaying the picture of a pretty woman.

Casting Natasha a knowing smile he walked over to the hologram and began to read. She was pretty and young, petite with warm eyes. There didn’t seem to be much background history surrounding her education or current work, she wasn’t well known in the scientific arena which puzzled Steve. If she wasn’t a bigshot why was she on the list? ‘Bruce you said she was trying to get funding, do you know if she had any luck? It doesn’t seem like she made much of an impact on the scientific world.’

‘That doesn’t surprise me, she was timid and not very good at putting herself out there but she had potential. A lot of her theories though were unfounded due to lack of funding and not a lot of people were putting stock in her ability to hack the bio-genes of plants and alter them so they would regrow.’ All of that went right over Steve’s head, while he respected Bruce as a scientist and almost as a friend he wasn’t as comfortable around the other man yet.

When explaining things Tony made a marginal effort to dumb things down for Steve as much as he could, Steve wasn’t a dumb person but he didn’t excel in this area and most of it made zero sense to him. Hell, one of the reasons he and Tony had gotten closer in the first place was because Steve couldn’t work out how to use half the technology in this century and had a habit of breaking them.

In the end Tony had created him and Thor a surge and crush proof phone with a stronger frame and touch screen.

‘She wants to change the genetic makeup of plants?’ Steve asked, realising how stupid that had sounded even to his own ears. ‘Why?’

Bruce shrugged his shoulders. ‘Honestly, I think she planned on taking it much further than that.’ Bruce shifted a little under the intensity of both their stares. ‘She may have mentioned to me, only briefly because I walked away at this point, she was interested in taking it to the next level and testing it on humans.’ Steve cringed.

‘She wanted to make another super soldier serum?’ Natasha hadn’t spoken before now, silent beside Steve as she read the information. Bruce shook his head and shrugged his shoulders again.

‘I can’t say, as soon as she mentioned moving on to human genetics I walked away. But her work with plants wasn’t dissimilar; she was working to create an enhanced fauna that could withstand draught and flooding. If she were to succeed she’d have a superior plant capable of regenerating itself.’ Head swimming Steve’s shoulders sagged.

Excusing himself he moved to the lounge room and sank on to the sofa pulling his phone from his pocket, dialling director Fury.

‘Captain Rogers what can I do for you?’ The director answered in a crisp tone.

‘Widow and Jarvis were able to find the hidden email and decryption to unlock it, Doctor Banner was on there and after a conversation we discovered a link between himself, Stark and another scientist Maya Hansen. We wanted you to bring her in under protective custody if we aren’t already too late, there as some questions we wanted to ask her.’ Steve cut right to the chase, there was no use wasting the time with Fury the man had no patience for small talk.

‘What makes you think this woman could know something?’ Steve had managed to pique the director’s interest.

‘Doctor Banner is familiar with her and her work; she’s definitely a person of interest. We need to clarify with Tony first but it seems like both he and Banner have been acquainted with her in the past, pairing that with her area of speciality I believe it’s worth looking further in to.’ He paused to draw in a breath. ‘Jarvis is close to breaking through the firewall of whoever posted the list and arranged the purchase of Tony to Marcus Dawson, but I think Dawson has more to tell us.’

‘I think so too, we’ll keep working on him and I’ll send someone out to collect Miss Hansen. Keep me posted Captain.’ Director Fury hung up the phone and Steve let his head drop back to the cushion with a groan. His head was aching with all of this; none of them had gotten a proper amount of sleep since Tony had disappeared or when he had come back.

It was wearing down on them all heavily.

‘Jarvis how is Tony doing?’ He pushed himself off the sofa and stretched his arms above his head with a groan as his back popped in protest to the strain stress was placing on his muscles.

‘Sir appears to be soundly sleeping; his fever has dropped one degree with the use of the ice packs and cooling pads. Doctor Myers has started him on a new regimen of antibiotics which seem to be working.’

‘Thanks Jarvis, keep me posted. Keep working on the firewall and let me know when you get through.’ Steve was conflicted, he wanted to call a team meeting and sit down with everyone to share a meal, make sure they were all eating well and ordering them to get some sleep or heading back to the medical ward to sit with Tony in case he woke up again.

The thought of having the other man wake up on his own made his stomach clench, but he also had the rest of the team to look out for to. Natasha and Bruce were still at the table when he went back in to the kitchen, their heads bowed over paper work and Stark Pads. ‘Jarvis can you assemble everyone else and ordered some dinner, maybe some Italian.’

‘Certainly captain.’

‘Find anything else?’ He asked, heading for the coffee machine. It was probably feeling neglected with Tony’s absence, the man was probably more coffee then blood at this point. They shook their heads dismally. ‘I’m ordering a mandated team dinner; we can’t work this out on an empty stomach with no sleep. We are going to eat, and all get at least six hours of sleep before we start in on this again in the morning. Shield is looking for Hansen and bringing her in, so until then I want us all to rest.’

‘Does that include you too?’ Natasha levelled him with a hard stare. ‘I know you want to be there for Tony as much as you can, but you need to sleep as well Cap.’

Coming back to the table with his coffee Steve reluctantly sank in to a seat. He had been sitting so much lately but he was bone weary and didn’t have the energy to waste on standing right now. He took a long gulp of his coffee and set the mug back on the table, nodding. ‘Me too, don’t worry.’

Clint and Thor walked in a few minutes later and Steve debriefed them on what they knew so far. The food arrived not long after that and they all fell in to silence as they ate their pasta and pizza.

While Tony didn’t always attend their team dinners it felt strained and wrong to be doing this without him, knowing he was downstairs injured in the medical wing rather than on a creative binge in his workshop made it all the worse. Steve itched to shovel his food down and escape back to the medical wing and sit with Tony before he retired to bed, but he forced himself to take it slow and try and drag everyone in to conversation.

It all fell flat though and by the time they were finished he felt impossibly more depressed by the situation until Pepper came through, smiling at them all and asking how their days had been. She looked a little rumpled and as tired as they all felt. Steve made a mental note to ask when she had last slept in her own bed. For now he settled for a clean plate piled high with left over mussel and tomato linguine with garlic. Pepper smiled at him as she sank in to a seat and accepted the food.

‘I stopped by and saw Tony on my way up, he was asleep when I went in but Doctor Myers told me he is slowly making progress. His fever is continuing to drop with the new medication and he’s finally stabilised his blood pressure.’ She slurped a little on a loose pasta strand that escaped her mouth. ‘Looks like he could be out of danger by tomorrow if he continues to improve.’

As a collective everyone at the table seemed to deflate with the weight of the news, the miniscule relaxing of shoulders all around. Steve almost laughed in relief he was so happy to hear that news.

‘I’ll go back and sit with him for a little bit after I wash up, unfortunately I won’t be able to stay with him much tomorrow unless I risk the company collapsing. Looks like Rhodey will get in tomorrow though so I am sure that will cheer him up significantly.’ Pepper stood from the table and gave Steve’s shoulder a brief squeeze before stopping to half hug Bruce who smiled up at her.

‘Thanks Pepper, we can take it in shifts to sit with him as well, make sure he doesn’t wake up on his own. I heard what happened earlier.’ Bruce mumbled, squeezing her hand in comfort. Pepper grimaced and nodded.

‘I’ll see you guys tomorrow.’ She smiled again and left them alone.

‘Okay I meant what I said before; at least six hours sleep before we start back in on this tomorrow.’ Steve stood too, clearing plates and taking them to the kitchen before coming back and dismissing the team. ‘We have some leads now, but not until tomorrow, I’ll see you all back here at seven o’clock tomorrow morning.’

Heading to his room Steve stepped in to the heated bathroom, marvelling at the modern technology of today that the tiles weren’t chilled and stepped under the waiting spray of steaming hot water. He had every plan of changing in to sweats and going to bed but he kept thinking of Tony alone on the medical floor. He dried off and dressed quickly, heading down with a blanket and pillow in hand.

Settling in to the chair by Tony’s bed he huddled down under the mink blanket reached out for Tony’s hand and fell asleep gripping it tightly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am changing a few things up about Maya Hansen! But please let me know what you think and if you think you know where this is going!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in posting this, my laptop has been making a death moan every time i turn it on and the internet has been down. Enjoy!

Waking up was rapidly becoming one of Tony’s least favourite things, he hated it. The lack of light recognition to alert him that morning had come or that he had even opened his eyes in the first place left him off centre and on edge. It now took him several rough blinks to orient himself, to realise he had indeed woken up and wasn’t still asleep. He hated every moment of it.

This morning however it was different, someone was loosely holding his hand and snoring softly off to his left. For a moment he thought it might have been Pepper but the hand was too big and rough, enveloping his own warmly. Supplying comfort he didn’t realise he needed until it was there. For a moment he was tempted to make a noise, withdraw his hand to wake the person up before he realised who it was.

Steve.

Forcing his blind eyes to blink again Tony coughed softly, trying not to make too much noise but realised his mistake too late when something caught in his throat and tried to work its way up from his lungs. Before he knew it his head was straining off the pillow as he hacked violently, body shaking with the force it. The hand he had been unconsciously squeezing suddenly disappeared and there were hands on his shoulders gently leaning him forward before cool metal was placed beneath his chin.

‘It’s a basin, spit if you need to.’ Tony did as he was told, hocking the phlegm up in to bowl and wheezing painfully. His ribs were rudely protesting the rough treatment, the stitches around the chest tube pulling and itching as he heaved for air that he couldn’t seem to get enough of. ‘Shh it’s okay, you can breathe just take it slow and easy, in and out, come on.’ Steve was rubbing him on the back now and Tony felt himself relax a smidge at the touch.

Soft hands lowered him back to the mattress when he started to breathe a little easier, he heard the metal basin clang as it was set back down and winced at the loud noise, but Steve’s hand found its way back in to his and squeezed again.

‘Morning sunshine.’ He croaked, trying for humour. Steve chuckled beside him and held his hand a little tighter. Normally Tony would be against this sort of thing, hand holding or touching in general but he was blaming his nonchalance on the pain medication.

‘Morning.’ Steve still sounded tired and Tony felt a little guilty for waking him up the way he had. ‘Looks like you’re doing better, got some colour back.’

‘Feel a bit better actually, surprisingly.’ Tony shifted on the bed a little, wincing at the pain in his shoulder. His right arm was still strapped to his chest tightly; he wanted nothing more than to stretch the limb out and pop his elbow.

Taking a moment Tony took stock of his battered body, his ribs especially around the arc reactor burning near constantly every time he expanded his chest for a breath, his abdomen felt more strained from coughing more than injury. His ass still ached, bruises and trauma making them well known with each shift of his hips, but the most pain outside of his shoulder was actually coming from his left leg. The limb was weighed down with what had to be a cast that felt far too tight, it was burning and lancing pain right through to the bone. ‘My leg broken?’ He asked, turning his head in the general direction of Steve.

‘They had to pin and reset the bone, yeah.’ Tony groaned, coughing wetly again. He was sick of the damn cough already. He was sick of the bed, it hadn’t even been three days and he had already had more than enough of it. He wanted up. He struggled with one arm and leg to push him in to a sitting position. ‘Oh hey, yeah no. Tony stop.’

Hands closed around his bicep and pushed him gently back to the bed. ‘Now I know you’re on the mend, you’re going to give the nurses a run for their patience.’ Steve was chuckling again; Tony didn’t think he was ever going to hear that noise again. Or Pepper’s sweet voice, Jarvis sassing him. A deep suffering settled in his stomach, he could hear them but he would never see them again. ‘What’s wrong Tony?’ Steve must be leaning closer to him now; he imagined he could almost feel the super soldier’s breath on his skin.

Hysteria bubbled in his throat; he would honestly never see any of them again. A giggle slipped past his lips as he thought of all the things he would never be able to see again, the sunrise from his Malibu mansion or the horizon rushing by his faceplate as he flew Iron Man. Pepper’s irritated eye roll when he refused to sign paper work or Rhodeys full body grimace when he was annoyed. Or Steve’s blush, Natasha’s fond smiles she thought nobody ever noticed or Bruce’s face when he got excited about something, the way Clint cocked his head to the side when he was gearing up to make a joke. All of it was gone forever. He laughed again, a little more hysterical this time around his hitches for breath.

‘I’ll never see again Steve.’ The laughter wouldn’t stop, it was a little concerning that he couldn’t but it just kept coming. He could sense Steve leaning in to him, he still had Tony’s hand between them but his other hand had come up to clutch at his shoulder a little desperately now. ‘What am I going to do?’ He was a little worried he would start crying if he stopped laughing now.

‘It’s not the end of the world, we’ll- you’ll get through this.’ The hysteria snapped to anger in an instant and Tony wrenched his hand free aggressively and used it to shove Steve away, it was weak but the captain got the message all the same and stepped back from the bed.

‘Get through this,’ he laughed wildly ‘get through this? Rogers my eye sight is gone, the one thing I rely on to do everything in my life is gone!’ He shouted. ‘I spent a week suspended in a white room, being tortured and abused while I useless lay there losing my sight day by day, and all you have to say is it _we’ll get through this?_ What would you do if you lost the serum, went back to being some sick weak bean pole huh? How would you feel if all that muscle and health was taken away from you?’ His voice had risen above a yell now; he was practically screaming the words in hysterics.

He needed out of this, right now. He struggled to sit up again struggling against his own weak body. Steve’s hand settled on his shoulder again, trying to stop him from getting up but he hissed venomously and pushed him away, arm flailing unbalanced when Steve moved out of his limited rage. ‘ _Get away from me_!’ He hissed, wiggling across the bed towards the edge of the frame. A cough broke his concentration and he doubled over, hacking on more phlegm.

‘Tony stop you’re going to hurt yourself, you aren’t well enough to be out of bed yet!’ Steve was frantic now, he could hear it in his tone but he didn’t come any closer.

Dislodging the muck from his throat Tony swung his good leg over the bed and tried to shift the casted one around as well but he didn’t have the energy, he was panting heavily already and he was dizzy but he couldn’t stay in this bed. He’d find a way to get out if it killed him. ‘You’re going to fall!’ Steve snapped.

‘I’m sure _we’ll get through it_ ,’ he hissed sarcastically, placing his barefoot on the floor and trying to sway. He heard Steve shift near him, somewhere off to his right but ignored him in an effort to stand up and balance against the vertigo. Tony wouldn’t have thought it was possible to get vertigo without his sight, or to feel like the whole room was spinning when he couldn’t even see it but as soon as he placed all his tenuous weight on his leg his whole equilibrium tipped and the blood rushed to his feet.

If he had been able to see Tony knew his vision would have blacked out with grey spots, instead his ears rang and his hearing tunnelled and his whole body broke out in sweat before he crumpled, none too gracefully to the floor. Hands closed around his waist though, catching him before he hit the floor and lifted him effortlessly. Trying to form words Tony lashed out at Steve but his hand wouldn’t respond and he flopped uselessly in the soldiers grip and allowed himself to be man-handled back on to the damn bed.

‘Tony I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make it sound like that it was foolish of me. But if you do that again you are going to seriously hurt yourself. How about we limit tumbling out of bed to once a week not once a day.’ Steve situated Tony a little more comfortably without having to ask, the head of the bed raised and an extra pillow was placed behind his head and chest so he was almost sitting up. It was a lot more comfortable.

It didn’t stop Tony from turning his head away childishly and pouting, at least until his body betrayed him and he had to cough again, hunched in on himself against the pain. ‘Really Tony, I’m sorry.’ He heard Steve sigh. ‘Do you want some water?’ He nodded, leaning back against the pillows and wheezing. He was exhausted. A straw was knocked against his lips and he took a thankful mouthful of the chilled water, immensely enjoying the cool water on his hoarse throat.

‘Thought we would find you here.’ Tony closed his eyes around a groan; he wasn’t in the mood for visitors right now after his little outburst. His psyche was too fragile and he didn’t want to snap at anybody else. But it was still comforting to hear Bruce’s voice all the same. ‘Well Jarvis told us you were here, but still.’ Steve laughed off to the side, placing the cup back down. ‘Good to see you back with us Tony.’

Grunting his response Tony sagged against the mattress, wiggling his body a little lower to take the pressure off his butt. ‘Don’t know about being back but I am awake.’ He smiled, hoping he was facing the right way and hating all of this with a passion. ‘Is that coffee?’ He sniffed as deeply as his stuffy nose would allow enjoying the wafting aroma.

‘I don’t think you’re ready for that yet.’ Bruce laughed. ‘Sorry Tony looks like you’re still on clear fluids.’ Papers rustled and footsteps moved across the flooring, Tony tried to follow them but his concentration was shot.

‘Coffee is a clear liquid if you don’t add milk.’ Tony supplied hopefully.

‘Nice try.’ The bed dipped and Tony caught a whiff of Bruce’s cologne and the distinct smell of ozone and dirt that Bruce always seemed to carry around him when he left the lab. ‘Looks like Doctor Myers was able to find the right strain of antibiotics to battle the pneumonia, you are finally maintaining your own blood pressure even if it is still a little too low but it’s progress regardless so that’s something. Otherwise it looks like you are going to be on bed rest for a while, sorry Tony.’

‘For what?’ Tony snapped, knowing he was being unreasonable about it. But if one more person apologised to him he was going to snap again. ‘It’s done it’s over move on already, I have.’ He bit his lip and looked away; irritated he didn’t know if he was still facing someone. So much for his flair for dramatics, he couldn’t even do that right anymore. His skin bristled with irritation.

Bedding shifted and a hand settled above his knee with a gentle squeeze, Bruce. ‘I’m sorry for the nurses to be honest; you’re a pain in the ass on bed rest.’ Steve snorted on his other side and Tony quirked his lips in to a bland smile.

Flapping his hand in the general direction of his face Tony lifted his shoulder in a half shrug, ‘they’re definitely going to have their hands full this time. How does one keep a blind genius busy after all.’ His tone dripped with sarcasm and resentment, Bruce squeezed his knee a little tighter before withdrawing his hand, probably looking guilty.

‘I’ll talk to Myers, see if there’s a way to get you a little mobilised so you can come down to the communal lounge without being in too much pain. Might be good to have a change of scenery.’

‘Change of scenery Bruce, really? My scenery is black no matter where I am!’ Tony snapped, wishing he had a better way to vent his frustration. He was down his sight, one arm and a leg. He couldn’t even get himself out of bed to march away or throw a tantrum, didn’t know if there was anything within the reach of his one hand to throw wildly against a wall. Awkward silence reigned after his outburst.

‘I am sure you have something to be working on, or a lead to follow. I don’t know and don’t care so how about we leave the cripple alone now huh?’ Tony laid his head back on the pillow and closed his eyes, hoping they took the hint they were being dismissed. ‘I think I am done socialising for the morning.’

‘Tony please don’t be like this…’ Was Steve begging him? Tony refused to open his eyes though, or acknowledge he had heard him in the first place and stayed resolutely still until both men sighed and left the room.        

Now that he was alone with his own wheezing breaths, Tony let some bitter tears slide down his cheeks, this was shit and he didn’t want to be a part of it. Didn’t want to be trapped in this bed or his useless body for a minute longer but he had no choice. He was crippled and trapped on the mattress, surrounded by own weak breaths and the uneven slow beep of the monitors that constantly reminded him of how much of a liability his body was.

Clutching at the sheets in misery Tony let a little sob slip out, his mind wanted nothing more than for his body to curl in on itself but he couldn’t even manage that. He didn’t know how long he stayed that way, tensed up and clutching at the sheet with small hitches in his breathing until the sound of footfalls filled the room and he tensed up.

‘Dammit Tony what have I told you about staying out of the funvee huh?’ The bed dipped and strong, familiar arms wrapped around him pulling him in to a firm chest and encapsulating him in a hug. Tony laughed around a sob, burying his battered face in to Rhodeys chest and allowing himself to be held. ‘You need to stop doing this to me man, seriously.’ Tony just snuffled against him.

They shared the hug for a few more moments until Rhodey shifted him over on the bed and hopped up with him, bodies flush against each other. For a while they didn’t talk, Tony just rested against the arm around his shoulder and focused on his breaths. ‘I’ve taken a few months furlough; I plan on hanging around until you’re back on your feet so to speak.’

‘You don’t have to do that.’ Tony mumbled, appreciating the sentiment regardless. ‘Don’t think I am going to be able to get back up this time.’ He admitted.

Rhodey pulled him a little closer. ‘Don’t say that man, we can get through this. The Tony Stark I know is a pain in the ass and doesn’t know how to stay down.’ Tony huffed out a laugh. ‘By the way I ran in to Banner and Rogers in the reception, what did you say to them? Rogers looked like you kicked a puppy.’

‘I may have been a little ruder then I needed to be.’ Tony admitted, looking a little guilty. ‘They are pussy footing around me, apologising like it matters what they say. It doesn’t and it won’t make anything better.’

‘Only you can make it better Tony, but moping and pushing away the people that care isn’t the best way to go about this.’ Rhodey admonished him. ‘You are going to need all the help you can get to pull through this, let them help, let me help.’

Sagging a little Tony nodded, he knew Rhodey was right. There was no way he could do this on his own, he knew he was going to need the team and Pepper, especially Rhodey who had gotten him through enough shit situations in his lifetime already. ‘I know there’s more to this Tones, Pepper filled me in on everything, but that’s at your pace. I’m not going to force you to talk about that until you’re ready.’ Tony’s groin gave a pang of pain in response, heating his cheeks with a blush of shame. ‘But for now we need to focus on the elephant in the room because it isn’t going away no matter how much you yell at everyone.’

‘Thanks Rhodey-bear.’ Tony murmured, snuggling a little closer to his best friend and relaxing.     


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Waring for brief mention of non-con!  
> Plus a side of bromance between Rhodey and Steve

Tony hated dreaming.

He had his fair share of nightmare fuel, ever since coming back from Afghanistan and then the Battle of New York; he rarely managed a full night of uninterrupted sleep. Images of Yinsen and barrels of inky black water, people holding him down as hands buried themselves bloody in his chest. Losing consciousness in outer space, the Chitauri war ship the last thing he would ever see.

Other times they weren’t always terrifying, his subconscious conjuring images of Yinsen in the cave where they would sit and have conversations. Tony would wake from those sobbing, clutching the arc reactor as his heart collapsed inwards from emotional pain. Sometimes he preferred the violent nightmares where he was held underwater, sparking from the car battery over the ones with Yinsen. They hurt less.

Shortly after Rhodey had arrived and Tony had slumped in to his best friends body with a wheezy sigh the nurse had come in, checked his vitals and injected more pain killers in to his port. As much as he had tried to fight it, Tony had fallen asleep safe and warm in Rhodeys embrace.

That however hadn’t lasted very long. Tony rode the inky waves of slumber, peacefully before he was jolted and opened his eyes to a blurry room bathed in light. His wrists were chained to the bed and he struggled erratically gasping for breath around the noose.

‘Struggling never makes this any easier Anthony.’ A hand caressed his cheek, Tony tried to turn his face away but the noose tightened and the hand clasped his cheek possessively. ‘Shhh.’ The bed dipped and legs settled on either side of his body, Tony knew what was coming. He was naked and weak, knew he couldn’t struggle but still bucked his hips in defiance. ‘Come Anthony, this could be enjoyable for both of us if you would just relax.’ Hands ran down his flank, cupping around his hips before moving to grasp at his ass and massage the muscle fingers spreading and delving between the cheeks.

Whole body going tense and rigid against the invasion Tony cried out, screaming and trying to tense his buttocks around the intrusion but the fingers forced their way deeper and scissored making him sob. ‘You’re all mine.’ The voice whispered, close to his ear with hot breath tickling his cheek but it was different now, a voice he knew by heart. The intrusion to his ass was gone, instead a large meaty hand was settled over the arc reactor and Tony couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe.’

‘ _One, last, golden egg_.’ A sharp crack broke out through the room and Tony was looking up at Obie, heaving for breath as the reactor broke from his chest. There was a large crack running through the glass as one of his closest friends, a harsh member of betrayal studied the device in awe, strong faced bathed in the sparkling blue.

Hands were grabbing him from all angles now, pulling him away before he even had a chance to catch his breath and plunging his face in to cold, frigid water that filled his lungs with a vengeance even as he screamed and thrashed against it. He got one sharp breath when they pulled him out before he was plunged under again. Drowning blacked out his vision for a moment, plunging him in to inky darkness before he was slammed on a table and he thought he was back in the factory again, getting ready to be violated before pain tore through his chest and he screamed out in agony, thrashing against hands pushing him down.

All around him people were screaming and shouting in a foreign language and he fought to open his eyes, against the pull of pain and invasion. He needed to protect the arc reactor, the Ten Rings couldn’t get their hands on it. But Yinsen was staring back at him apathetically, blood stained and pale as he continued to dig through Tony’s chest before smiling something cold Tony had never seen on the man’s face before. ‘This was always the plan.’ Yinsen whispered, removing his hand from Tony’s chest, holding his heart as he laughed cruelly and crushed it.

Wildly screaming and thrashing about on the hospital bed, Tony tried to get away scrabbling for purchase with one hand as someone called out his name, a warm large hand closed over his bicep and another violent scream tore through his chest and he wrenched out of the hold violently and for one, glorious second; he thought had managed to get away from the people who were trying to hurt him before reality tipped and he was falling.

Momentum took him over the edge of the bed, the weight of his casted leg tipping against him as he slammed to the floor. But adrenaline surged through him, before anyone else could put hands on him he panicked, heaving for a breath and pushed up from the floor blindly and limped backwards heavily.

Even without his vision he was determined to get away, he wouldn’t let them hurt him again. Throwing his hand out in front of him he ignored the loud voices, the blaring of machines and limped right in to a wall before his fingers found a doorway, or some opening and he pulled himself through it. His sweaty fingers found the edge of a door and he pulled on it weakly. Someone was calling his name now and he could hear the concern in their tone but he needed to get away from, couldn’t leave himself to be harmed again. He couldn’t do it anymore. ‘Tony come on man, you’re okay.’ Was that Rhodey? Had he been in the cave with him all this time? He’d been in the fleet with Tony when he had been taken, had they got Rhodey?

Hesitating to slam the door, Tony paused and tried to quieten his own haggard breathing to pick up any other familiar voices. ‘Mr Stark I really must insist you get back in to bed.’ He didn’t know that voice, it was unfamiliar and male. Breath hitching he threw his meagre energy in to slamming the door and slumped down against it, hacking and choking on a cough as he breathed shallow.

Sweat was pouring off him, something warm and sticky was running down his chest and itching and his whole body was aching. ‘Tony open the damn door!’ He flinched, wincing at the sharp arc of pain in his chest. The wavering reality between dream, flashback and waking was distorted. Any sense of rationality had fled him.

Logically Tony knew he was awake, his vision was gone and encroaching him in the impenetrable dark but his skin was still prickling with the touch of unwanted hands on his flesh and flashes of shouting in different language was echoing through his brain, denying him the ability to define awake from asleep. Even as the cold of the tile beneath him soaked through his skin, the pull of stiches and tubes and wires that had come loose when he had tumbled (for the third time, this had to stop) from the bed. Rhodey was calling to him through the door, in English not a foreign language.

‘Sir if you could please move away from the door and allow access to Colonel Rhodes, you are bleeding and your vital signs are unstable. You are in the medical wing of the Avengers Tower, it is a quarter past two in the afternoon. You have been unwell for three days but you are safe. Please move away from the door sir.’

Tony’s head shot up. Jarvis was familiar, comfort. The AI had been there for him every time he woke up from a nightmare, comforting him with the same repetitive script. Really starting to struggle for breath now, coughing around the muck congesting his chest Tony nodded and weakly shifted to the side before slumping sideways and vomiting.

‘Jesus Tones’ don’t do that to me again.’ Rhodey was beside him in an instant. ‘I’m going to touch you, pick you up.’ He warned and Tony was hefted effortlessly in to his best friends warm arms as the air moved around them and a few short seconds later was deposited back on the bed. Reality slipped again for a second, and he tensed up as he waited for hands to close around his wrists and trap him on the bed. But they didn’t come and Rhodey just kept mumbling to him as the nurses worked, grounding him.

A sharp prick and warm sensation rushing through his veins, Tony felt his heavy eyelids flicker before falling closed and voiding out his brain completely.

~

‘Jesus Steve, I have never heard him scream like that.’ Rhodey was pacing in the communal kitchen where the other Avengers had set up shop. Steve was standing across from him with a furrowed brow and arms crossed over his chest as he listened to Rhodey talk. ‘I’ve been around when he’s had a nightmare before, or a flash back but this was next level.’ Pausing in his laps of the bench he turned and went to the fridge wrenching open the doors and grabbing a six pack of beer from the bottom shelf and placing them on the counter before taking one for him, popping the lid and draining the bottle.

Steve gave him look eyebrows in his hairline as Rhodey went for a second beer, offering it to the other man with a world weary look and taking another for himself. ‘I’ve only ever seen him have one flash back, it wasn’t pretty.’ Steve shared. ‘He took a hard hit in the armour, dented the chest place and was unresponsive. I’d lost my comm piece and didn’t know what to do so I tore the face plate off and he didn’t seem to be breathing so I removed the chest piece as well and was getting ready to perform CP’ Steve took a long mouthful of his beer ‘in the war I saw a lot of cases of shell shock, men that would scream or cry out in their sleep or just plain freeze up like a statue and stop existing.’

They paused; staring in to their beers as the sound of the others working behind them filled the silence. Steve took a deep breath and shared a look with Rhodey. ‘As soon as my hands touched the area near the reactor and I spread my fingers around it his eyes shot open. He didn’t scream just went stock still and stopped breathing for a moment before crying out and clocking me hard enough to see stars. Took me half an hour to calm him down enough to get him out the dead suit, no Jarvis nothing. It was like taming a wild animal.’

Rhodey knew exactly what it was like trying to calm down a panic stricken genius, had been on the end of many drunken states and panic attacks that had spiralled out of control after New York and gotten even worse when Pepper had broken up with him. After Afghanistan he had been worried about how Ton would cope but the man had foolhardily shut them all out and thrown him self in to his work and created Iron Man. He had done the one thing he had always known how to do; tinker. The same could be said after Stane and New York. Though Tony hadn’t had to go it quiet as alone after the Avengers had moved in to the tower. He created a veritable army of Iron Man armours and was one of the hard hitters of the Avengers. There was no lacking of something to do.

But that was what concerned him so much now; a week in that factory had stripped Tony bare of everything. Pepper had filled him, he knew about the repeated rape and the conditions of how Tony had been held captive. But worse even than the rape, for Tony was losing his vision. The man relied solidly on his eye sight in order to create and tinker, to put together circuit boards and be the mad genius that he was. Plus when Rhodey considered the temporary loss of one arm and a leg in to the equation and the next few months was going to be a veritable nightmare for them all, not just Tony.

Rhodey knew this process was going to last longer than the few months of furlough he had been granted and, bolstered with the way Tony spoke and seemed to look at Steve, he was hoping the other man was going to step up and offer his assistance and be there as well. After the shouting match he had walked in on this morning, he wasn’t feeling all that positive.

‘Tony has been through more than any one person should have to, even before he became Iron Man but he’s strong. Sometimes he just needs a helping hand.’ Rhodey had sat and listened as Tony had complained to him when the Avengers had first moved in to the tower, many long distance phone calls disclosing how irritating and strict Captain America was all the way through to how clearly enamoured with the man Tony clearly was. There were still moments of irritability, the two seemed to constantly clash heads and could hardly decide on one thing let alone agree to what they should all order for dinner. But Rhodey knew Toy and could see the feelings he had for the man hidden very deep beneath a thick layer or snark and sarcasm. ‘He could use someone strong and dependable like you around him more often Steve.’

Steve Rogers; _the_ Captain America broke out in a bright red blush and dropped his eyes to his beer. ‘I don’t think Tony likes me very much.’ And Rhodey balked choking on his beer. ‘All we do is fight over stupid stuff, on and off the field.’ Rhodey could suddenly appreciate why Tony liked to try as hard as he could to make the other man blush. ‘Look at what happened this morning, he doesn’t want me around.’

‘Tony is hard wired to push everyone away and to make reckless, rash decision regarding his own wellbeing and what he really wants. Trust me it took a long time for him to even let me in, do you know how many times I had to save that stupid genius at MIT before he accepted that he actually had a friend?’ Rhodey asked Steve. ‘It takes time and a hell of a lot of patience, but the fact that he has allowed all of you to move in here and even allowed you access to his workshop is a big start.’

Steve looked away sheepishly, clearly unsure what to make of all this. Rhodey could hardly believe he was having this conversation with Captain America at all, playing match maker for his best friend. ‘He wants you around, and he will need you- all of you-us, to get through this.’

Sighing Steve placed his empty beer bottle on the bench and shifted his stance to something a little more world weary and exasperated. Rhodey could relate to that, Tony often stressed him out like this. ‘I ah… I want him to, ya know…’ Steve trailed off, the blush creeping up his face again as he looked away and fidgeted with his empty hands. ‘I want him to like me.’ Steve blurted and that damn blush, Rhodey smirked as it burned bright red on Rogers pale skin. ‘He’s just so damn stubborn.’

Unable to help it Rhodey let out a laugh and clapped Steve on the shoulder. ‘I can’t believe I am having this conversation with Captain America.’ Steve just looked at him, baffled. ‘Tony wants you to like him too, but right now that’s going to take a lot of time and dedication and it isn’t going to be easy. He’s scared and way out of his depth with all of this. Tony Stark is a billionaire genius since he was old enough to start talking and understand. He’s been kidnapped more times than you know but normally he bounces back, this time though? I don’t think it’s going to be quiet so easy, he’s blind and stuff happened that he will not want to deal with but he can’t get through it alone.’

‘I don’t know how to help with _that_.’ Steve admitted Rhodey knew what he was talking about and his stomach scrunched up a little. ‘I don’t even know how to help with the fact that he’s blind and scared and every time I open my mouth I seem to say the wrong thing and make it all worse.’

Groaning Rhodey couldn’t believe how similar Tony and Steve were with their own internal shaming of themselves. Normally he made a hard effort not to get involved in Tony’s love life even keeping his distance when he had been semi-stable with Pepper, knowing that in the end the relationship would end. Pepper was endlessly patient and knew how to put up with Tony Stark but she wasn’t a hundred percent on board with his endeavour to be Iron Man and in the end it had come between them and ended their relationship.

As he had watched Tony become more and more enamoured with Steve he had been a bit hopeful that it would go somewhere. Steve knew what it was to be a hero, understood the risks associated with the cause. The man was strong and steady and respectful of other people, someone who could ground Tony and provide a stability he had never had. But in true Tony Stark fashion he had done everything to alienate Steve, riled him up at every opportunity and clearly confused the poor man with his shameless flirting and crude comments about the other man’s ass in his uniform.

Rhodey had assisted in one or two mission with the Avengers with the War Machine armour, and Tony was relentless with his teasing and taunting. Thinking back on some of it now, the downright unashamed flirting that Tony had been doing, may have been going directly over Steve’s head. The man came from a time seventy years ago where flirting, or courting would have been a lot less lewd and more sophisticated and respectful.

He probably hadn’t even realised what Tony was doing.   

‘Look Captain, this really isn’t my place and I honestly cannot believe I am even getting involved in this; but Tony never takes anything at face value, he’d rather dance around the problem and do whatever he can to avoid what actually matters which- in this case is you- but don’t give up, he really is going to need as much help as he can get.’ Steve was looking at him in shock, mouth open a little where he leaned against the bench, empty bottle he had been rolling between his hands forgotten as he tried to take in what Rhodey ad just told him.

‘Thank you colonel?’ Steve said, sounding very unsure what he was thanking him for. His face scrunched up for a moment as he thought about something. ‘Are-are you saying Tony likes me back?’ This time Rhodey did choke on his beer, frothy amber liquid spraying from his mouth as he choked on it. Steve sounded like a thirteen year old girl realising her crush liked her back for the first time. _How are these people the world’s first line of defence?_

‘Yes Steve that is exactly what I am saying.’ He covered the space between them, gripped Steve’s arm in confirmation. ‘Now why don’t you take a shower and put on some clean clothes and head down to be there when he wakes up again?’ Steve looked down at himself, confused before nodding and putting his beer bottle down and leaving the room a little quicker than was needed.

Sighing James walked out to the dining area and appraised Natasha and Clint where they were slumped at the table, surrounded by papers with Stark Pads in front of them. ‘Any updates?’ Natasha shook her head and yawned, reaching for a coffee cup to her left.

‘Jarvis broke through the firewall last night but it was a dead end. Just another dummy account we couldn’t track. Shield is still trying to track down Maya Hansen but it’s looking more and more likely we are too late and she may have been purchased already.’ Natasha sounded as exhausted and worn thin as she looked. Her and Clint’s eyes were ringed with lavender half-moons that belied the lack of sleep they were getting over this.

‘We were relying too much on getting that damn firewall.’ Clint groaned, slumping back in his chair and pushing the Stark Pad away from him with disdain. ‘Any news on Stark?’ He rubbed at his eyes.

Rhodey sat down at the end of the table and pulled some papers toward him. ‘Had a pretty bad nightmare, we need to organise someone to sit with him in shifts or the nurses are threatening to restrain him.’ Natasha gave him a sharp look. ‘He woke up, had a flashback and fell out of bed again but this time he made it all the way to the bathroom.’ Rhodey rubbed at his own eyes, remembering the site of Tony blindly dragging himself across the floor with little smears of blood behind him. ‘Pulled out everything, nearly dislocated his shoulder again. The doctor doesn’t want to risk further injury.’

‘Maybe we can organise to have him down here for a while, put him in a wheelchair?’ Clint suggested, looking wrecked with what Rhodey was telling them. ‘He’s a pain in the ass for sure, but I don’t blame him not wanting to be in that bed drugged up, if you know what I mean.’ He levelled them all with a knowing stare.

It dawned on Rhodey slowly, _of course_. ‘I’ll see if I can make some arrangements, try and get a better chair put in his room too, so he can sit in there as well.’ Rhodey nodded at Clint appreciably. He really hadn’t thought of that, the memories Tony might associate with being held or stuck in the bed all day being drugged up.

Pushing the papers away uselessly he pushed himself out of the chair, tried to erase the image of Tony screaming and calling out on the bed. He hadn’t confessed to Steve that his name had been amongst the ones called out, along with mentions of the Avengers. They didn’t need that on their conscious right now. ‘Steve is on first watch but I might head down now and try to organise a chair for when he wakes up, in case he wants to sit up.’ Smiling at the two assassins (when had he got so comfortable with two master assassins of death?) and walked out of the room towards the elevator.

Rhodey couldn’t be more relieved to know these people had Tony’s back.       


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up the next few chapters are going to move a little slower and delve in to some angsty domestic Avenger fluff. The action will pick up again soon though, don't fret!

The week that followed was long and hard on everyone. Steve could feel himself bowing to the tension that seemed to always surround them. He had spent the better parts of the early mornings he couldn’t sleep down in the gym, pounding away at the reinforced bags Tony had made for him until his knuckles were bloody and raw, venting out his frustrations at the lack of head way they had made on the case. Last night they had run out of avenues to follow, Jarvis had broken through the firewall but it had been another dead end.

  
They hadn’t been able to locate Maya Hansen, Shield was keeping an eye out for her but it was looking like she may have already been taken. Bruce was on lockdown, unable to leave the tower for his own safety; even though it seemed unlikely anybody would try and take the Hulk it wasn’t worth the risk. The scientist spent most of his time in his lab, irritable and on edge as they got nowhere closer to solving this.

  
The pressure was affecting them all. Natasha spent most of her time out of the tower as she tried to look for more information on the streets and using inside Intel to try and find a fresh lead but each time she came back empty handed and more annoyed. Clint was doing his best to support her, and everyone else but his humour could only go so far and some nights he ended up in the gym with Steve. Rhodey was the only one keeping a level head, remaining mostly unaffected through it all.

  
Though Steve picked up on the strain the man was feeling towards Tony, no matter how much he tried to engage the younger man he didn’t seem to be getting anywhere. Steve was fairing no better on that front either. Getting Tony to open up to them was like digging through marble with a spoon.

  
Doctor Myers had agreed to allow Tony to sit in a chair throughout the day but he hadn’t been allowed off the medical floor. Four days ago his cardiologist had come by when Steve had been in the room. Unsure whether he should leave or not Tony had simply grasped his hand and he had sat back down. Luckily he had as the news hadn’t been good. On top of everything else that was slowly consuming Tony his heart was failing and due to the arc reactor they were unsure on what path to take. More medication had been added to his new regimen until a plan of action was decided on.

  
They had sat in oppressive silence once the doctor had left the room, Tony squeezing the life out of his hand as he stoically lay in the bed with his eyes clenched shut. Things had rapidly gone downhill from there, and they were all floundering to pull Tony back from the brink. He had closed off completely and was refusing everything; he wouldn’t talk, take his medications or eat. Jarvis had called him to the medical wing one afternoon to find Tony shouting at the nurses; Clint was standing off the side holding a cloth to a bloody nose.

  
Everything came to a head. Tony had ripped out another IV port and the feeding tube down his nose and obstinately refused to let anyone near him to replace them. Rhodey ran up behind Steve and sighed heavily, shoulders slumping as Tony swung wildly at the young nurse trying to get close to him. He’d stepped past Steve and walked right up to Tony, grabbing his wrist and pulling the idiot in to a hug. The nurse had taken her chance and jabbed the syringe in to Tony’s exposed thigh and they had all stood by while the erratic genius succumbed to the sedative and sagged in to Rhodeys chest.

  
Since than Tony had refused further treatment and was demanding to go back to his penthouse, any of the weight he had managed to gain the week since he had woken up had fallen off him. Pepper had rushed past Steve on his way in to the room, covering tears that day and Steve had had enough.

  
‘You need to stop acting like a petulant child Tony and start helping yourself.’ He snapped, walking in and appraising the pale figure in front of him. Tony looked like he barely had the energy to sit up in the chair; the mink blanket from Steve’s room was pooled across his lap. ‘If you think we are all going to sit aside and watch you slowly allow yourself to die than you don’t deserve to be called a genius.’ Tony had flinched at his raised voice, skin pulling tight over sharp hollowed out cheekbones as he sank back against the chair.

  
Crossing the distance in to the room Steve sank down in front of Tony and took his hand, the limb was cold and colourless with poor circulation and it broke his heart. ‘This isn’t the end, and I am not going to let you accept defeat.’ He cupped Tony’s cheek with his other hand, feeling bold and looked in to sightless eyes. It was still unnerving to look in to the chestnut brown orbs and watch them struggle to focus, but he pushed on. This had to end. ‘I can’t- no I won’t lose you Tony!’ It came out a little quieter than he had meant it too, but he knew the other man had heard him if the attempt to turn his face away was anything to go by.

  
They didn’t say anything for a while until something wet ran over Steve’s fingers and he realised Tony was crying. The pneumonia was still lingering so when Tony hitched on a small sob his lungs protested and they fell in to a similar routine that they had adapted throughout the week. Steve put Tony’s hand on his own chest and instructed him to take slow exaggerated breaths until the coughing stopped and Tony could breathe again. ‘I can’t lose you Tony, not when I am just getting to know you.’ Steve whispered, leaning their foreheads together despite the intimacy of it. ‘If you can’t fight for yourself, fight for me.’ He brushed his lips over the cool skin briefly before pulling away and taking Tony’s hand again watching him earnestly.

  
‘It doesn’t matter anymore Steve, you heard the doc.’ Tony coughed a little. ‘Tickers failing may as well speed up the process, I’m useless like this anyway.’ Tony tried to pull his hand back but Steve wouldn’t budge. The other man looked away petulantly.

  
‘It does matter, it matters a lot to me and Colonel Rhodes and Miss Potts and the team.’ Steve pulled Tony closer to him. ‘None of us want to lose you and we aren’t going to let you give up without a fight.’

  
Tony leaned in a little, seeking out comfort. ‘I’m never going to get out of this room Steve. I’m a liability now, I won’t be able to use the suit or create things for the company. We’ll sink and I don’t want to take you all with me.’ Steve sat up a little and looked into Tony’s face.

  
Standing he let go of Tony’s hand, placing it in his lap gently. ‘I’ll be back in a minute.’ Stalking from the room it didn’t take him long to find a wheelchair. Wheeling it back to the room he parked it in front of Tony who tilted his head in confusion. Steve loved when he did that, his eyes squinting and nose wrinkling a little as he tried to work out what something was. ‘I’m going to pick you up.’ Was all the warning Steve gave as he scooped Tony from the chair, keeping the blanket wrapped around his legs before placing him gently in the chair.

  
‘What are you doing?’ Tony looked around wildly, clutching the arm of the chair as Steve started to push him from the room. ‘Steve?’ He sounded a little panicked now so Steve grabbed his shoulder comfortingly.

  
‘Getting you out of that room, we have been trying to get Doctor Myers to agree to this all week.’ Steve stopped in front of the elevator and levelled the nurse coming up beside him with a knowing look. ‘Miss, don’t even try.’ He warned, she put her hands up and backed away. The doors opened and pushed Tony in. ‘Communal floor please Jarvis.’ He instructed.

  
‘Of course Captain. It is good to see you leaving the medical floor sir.’ Jarvis offered up, voice more upbeat that Steve had heard it in a while. Maybe this would help more than just Tony.

  
‘Steve this isn’t what I meant, just take me back please. It isn’t going to change anything.’ The elevator stopped and the doors whooshed open, Natasha looked up from across the room and looked a little caught off guard when she saw Tony in the wheelchair. Instead of saying something she gave that little smile Steve was so fond of and slapped Clint in the side of the head to get his attention, cocking her head toward them where they coming down the hallway.

  
‘If it isn’t everyone’s favourite tin can!’ Clint proclaimed, Steve winced and Natasha punched him on the arm for his bluntness.

  
‘Ha Ha, very funny bird brain.’ Tony snapped back, sounding more alive than he had in days already as he perked up a little. Clint snickered and hopped down off the table to come over and slap Tony on a bony shoulder.

  
‘It’s good to see you out and about man, really.’ Tony bowed his head and Steve smiled feeling a little bead of hope well in his chest. ‘You allowed coffee yet?’ Clint called, heading for the espresso machine in the kitchen. He wasn’t, Steve knew that but he didn’t have the heart to deny him so when Tony nodded he didn’t call him on it.   
‘Bout time you showed your face up here, was getting real sick of seeing you in bed Stark.’ Natasha said, coming over to touch his hair fondly. A small blush graced Tony’s cheeks when Natasha pulled away. Steve didn’t think he had ever seen Tony blush before. ‘Jarvis wanna bring Bruce down?’ Natasha called to the AI, joining Clint in the kitchen. ‘Caps breakin all the rules.’ Natasha drawled as she walked back in with a mug half-filled with half an espresso shot and hazelnut creamer.

  
‘Mug incoming.’ Steve warned as Natasha leant forward and grasped Tony’s hand to place it around the cup and guide it back to his lap. Tony groaned and ducked his head further, blush spreading in embarrassment this time at the childish treatment.

  
‘Tony! You aren’t meant to be off the medical floor yet, what are you doing?’ Steve’s shoulders slumped when Bruce rushed in, face crinkled with concern.   
‘Chill Bruce, Cap broke him out.’ Clint said as he came in holding two mugs and handing one off to Steve. That’s when he noticed what mugs they were, their mugs. The one Pepper had brought back from her business trap. Peeking over Tony’s head he smiled when he saw the little cartoon Iron Man. Full circle to that first morning before everything had gone to hell in a hand basket.

  
A small moan of pleasure filled the room and it was Steve’s turn to blush as he looked down at Tony, the obscene noise had come from him. Mug to his lips Tony seemed to deflate as he sipped on it, making noises that bordered on sexual as he favoured the beverage. ‘Should we leave you two alone?’ Steve asked, hiding his blush behind his own coffee.

  
‘First coffee in two weeks, don’t care.’ Tony said, sinking back in to the chair with a little wince of discomfort. The sturdy thing didn’t look like the most comfortable thing so Steve handed his coffee off to Bruce and moved towards the large couch. Leaving Tony with his coffee for a moment he pulled an afghan from the back and laid it out over the cushions before place a cushion to elevate and another blanket to lay on top.

  
‘Good if I move you to the sofa?’ Steve asked, waiting for the little uncertain nod Tony gave him before leaning over and picking him up bridal style. It struck Steve just how light Tony was how easy it was to scoop him up. The sharp bony indents of hip and rib bones against his arms. Depositing his precious cargo on the cushions and situating the pillow under his casted leg a little better he laid the blankets out over him and lingered, unsure what do now.

  
‘Hey look who’s out of bed!’ Rhodey clapped his hands as he moved towards them, face bright as he smiled at Tony even if the other man couldn’t see it. ‘Myers finally relented huh?’ He threw himself down beside Tony, taking the loose cup out of his grasp as it tipper precariously in Tony’s lax grip.

  
Clint rolled over the back of the sofa and flopped down on the cushions, kicking his legs over the edge and relaxing. ‘I give it maybe ten minutes before he’s down here throwing a fuse, Cap did a naughty.’ Even Tony smiled at that and Steve groaned dramatically.

  
‘I can do the wrong thing!’ He threw his hands up in exasperation, pulling the arm chair behind him closer to Tony and sinking down in to it with a huff.

  
They threw more banter back and forth; Natasha came in and sat beside Clint with his legs in her lap. It was the most relaxed they had all been since this started two weeks ago, he looked over at Tony and felt his heart swell. The older man was leaning in to the pillows, engulfed in blankets with Rhode’s arm over his shoulder smiling a little. He didn’t share in their conversation, but his shoulders were loose and his eye lids were drooping sleepily. Tony had been fighting sleep tooth and nail against the nightmares, his eyes were puffy and lined heavily with deep purple bags. But in the warm light of the lounge room it looked like he was finally willing to let his guard down enough to sleep. A few minutes later and Steve noted his eyes were shut, his chest moving off and down with small hitches as he fell deeper and deeper in to sleep.

  
Rhodey met his eyes and gave an appreciative nod.

  
A lull fell in the conversation, Clint asked Jarvis to bring up a movie and Die Hard came up on the screen on low volume even though it seemed like Tony was out to the world now, snoring a little around the congestion in his chest. Everyone focused on the movie, but Steve noticed them occasionally looking to Tony, like they were making sure he was still there with them.

  
In the end it took Doctor Myers an hour before he came to the communal floor on the heels of Pepper who looked a little flustered, her eyes still red and puffy from the tears Steve had caught earlier. They came to a stop behind the sofa, Myers mouth was opened like he was about to admonish Steve for going against him when he saw Tony. It was comical the way his mouth snapped shut, a stern look still on his face as he pointed to Steve and walked away.

  
Accepting his fate Steve got up wearily and weaved around the sofa, heading towards Pepper and Myers who were waiting with arms crossed in the kitchen. Pepper looked as though she didn’t know what to make of it all, but her expression was a little hurt all the same when she levelled her gaze on Steve. ‘I couldn’t just leave him in that room to give up, he needed something to give him a little boost and this was it.’ He declared, holding his ground.

  
‘He isn’t medically stable yet Captain Rogers, he needs to be monitored.’ It was weak, even Myers seemed to know that but he was still angry he had been undermined. ‘If something had happened down and he didn’t have immediate access to medical care it could have gone very wrong.’

  
‘Jarvis would have intervened well before Tony became at risk of anything!’ Steve snapped, he liked Myers he was a good level headed man but he wasn’t going to take this lying down. He stood by his decision to bring Tony here and wasn’t going to back down from it. ‘Nothing bad was going to happen to him!’

  
‘Steve his heart isn’t strong enough for this, it’s too risky!’ Pepper snapped, crossing her hands over her chest.

  
Throwing his hands up in annoyance Steve refused to back down. ‘Jarvis has been monitoring him since we came up here! Look at him, he’s sleeping for the first time in a week and I refuse to wake him up just so that you can lock him back in that room!’

  
‘Woah, let’s all calm down here.’ Rhodey hurried over, looking back at Tony still sleeping. Steve felt guilty for raising his voice, forgetting for a moment where they were. ‘Steve is right Pep, Tony needed this. I know it hasn’t been easy this past week but he made the right move.’ Pepper or Myers didn’t look at all placated by either solider. ‘J what’s his obs?’

  
‘Sir’s blood pressure is stable at eighty-eight over fifty five, heart rate at forty three beats a minute and respirations normal for sleep. He does not seem to be at risk right now.’ Steve smiled at the ceiling, Jarvis sounded far too smug about that. Clearly siding with them.

  
Doctor Myers sighed and dropped his shoulders in defeat. ‘He has to be in the medical ward overnights, someone needs to get him to eat and drink something too. High protein and calories with low carbohydrates he hasn’t eaten in days he is at high risk of refeeding syndrome.’ He sounded resigned as he listed off guidelines. ‘I will have an oxygen tank and a defibrillator brought down, and a pulse oximeter. First sign he is struggling for breath he goes on oxygen, no questions asked. It is not debateable.’ Steve nodded; grateful they were being given this chance to help Tony through this at all.

  
Steve went to say thank you but the doctor wasn’t done. ‘I want to see him at least once day and someone has to get him to take the medication. I am not opposed to him taking them orally, but he cannot afford a relapse with the pneumonia. Same goes with nutrition and hydration, if he doesn’t start ticking all the boxes I step back in.’ Swallowing, Steve gave a tight smile and nodded.

  
Maybe he was a little out of his depth with this. Rhodey grabbed his shoulder and smiled, promising they would get through it together before offering Pepper his arm and walking her back to the elevator with Doctor Myers. Some of the tension seeping back in to his shoulders Steve stayed in the kitchen and opened the fridge and pantries in search of something easy but edible that would meet Tony’s requirement.

  
Eventually conceding defeat he turned back to the lounge and bent over Bruce’s shoulder. ‘Hey Doc, any chance I could get some help in the kitchen?’ He asked sheepishly. Bruce chuckled but placed the Stark Pad aside and followed him into the grand kitchen.

  
If any of the Avengers wanted to eat something other than takeaway in the tower cooking usually fell to Steve or Bruce. Natasha knew how to make some interesting Russian dishes, but didn’t offer to cook much and Clint had the perfect grilled cheese sandwich down pat. Thor had been allowed to cook once, and then been banned immediately when he had broken the stove and set fire to the pot. Bruce cooked them exotic meals from all over the world and Steve went for simple, carb heavy meals. The one thing he had been cautioned against by Myers.

  
Bruce was already pulling things out of the fridge and setting about chopping them up, a large pot of stock was coming to the boil on the new updated stove top. Steve sat at a stool and watched him for a bit as he rhythmically chopped vegetables and chicken, adding them orderly to the pot. Sliding off the stool Steve went to freezer, realising there was one thing he could make for Tony that he knew the man would enjoy.

  
‘He’ll be okay with a milkshake right?’ Steve doubled checked, quickly pulling the frozen confectionary from the freezer and slamming the door shut. As petty as it was, the freezer bothered him a little. Bruce nodded.

  
‘Actually a good way to help him gain weight, high protein and high calorie.’ Steve smiled his thanks and moved to the blender, he would make some for the whole team. Bruce placed a container on the bench beside him. ‘Protein powder, I think Clint drinks it after a workout.’ Picking up the heavy tub Steve raised an eyebrow at the bright lettering but opened it regardless, scrunching his nose a little at the smell.

  
‘My shield brothers!’ Thor’s booming voice filled the room and Steve winced hoping it hadn’t woken Tony as the Asgardian came in to the kitchen with a large smile on his face. ‘I hear brother Anthony has been allowed to join us!’ He boomed.

  
‘He’s sleeping at the moment.’ Bruce chided and Thor lowered his voice as he moved in to the lounge room. Cups filled with milk shake, Steve added a straw to Tony’s and moved to the table to shift paper work to a different surface and to set it. Placing a frosted cup at each setting. ‘You should probably wake him, dinners ready.’

  
Moving through to the lounge room Steve realised he didn’t need to, Tony had his unfocused eyes open as Thor sat beside him and chatted animatedly. ‘Dinner is ready!’ He announced, stepping between seats to kneel beside Tony. ‘Looks like you get to join us, took Myers an hour to come tell me off but I bartered with him.’ Tony scowled towards him. ‘You need to eat or it’s back to medical and that dastardly tube.’

  
‘I don’t think I’m hungry.’ Tony said, shuffling back in to the pillows and ducking his head.

  
‘Tony this isn’t up for debate, you need to eat something it’s been days.’ Steve admonished, reaching out to take his hand and massage the joints softly. Despite the blankets and the heating in the lounge room, it was still chilled to touch. ‘Please?’ Tony pouted something Steve hadn’t seen for a long time. For a moment he thought he had won the other man over and then Thor opened his mouth beside him.

  
‘Anthony you must join us in feasting.’

  
Tony froze up, going rigid and flinching away from Steve and all the progress of the afternoon was lost. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am going to aim for posting every two days.  
> Steve finally took intiative with Tony yay. Look out for a special in the next chapter.  
> Let me know what you think!


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prepare for some overly fluffy angst and the moment we've all been waiting for!

For the first time in two weeks Tony had been comfortable, he had allowed himself to fall asleep without fear of the nightmares. The team were all around him, Steve to one side and Rhodey with his arm around Tony’s shoulder. He wasn’t in the bed; he could sleep here surrounded by them. At least until Thor had come in to the room. His booming voice had woken him up, and he had instantly missed the presence of Rhodes.

Thor sat beside him with a quiet hello and a pat on the knee, Tony returned it with a small smile and leant back in to the soft pillow behind his head as Thor started to talk. He liked the guy, he really did, but tonight he wasn’t in the mood to hear about Godly duties or royal battles. He put in a little effort to hear what he was saying but all he took in was Jane and Selvig and an experiment that had blown up on them and checked back out again.

Without the light perception his eyes itched when he forgot to blink them, but he didn’t want to appear rude by keeping them closed. Couldn’t even tell where Thor was to try and fake eye contact or concentration so Tony just let his head loll to the side and hoped for the best.  ‘Dinner is ready!’ Tony jumped a little at the louder voice.

‘Looks like you get to join us, took Myers an hour to come tell me off but I bartered with him.’ Tony wanted the sofa to open up and eat him. ‘You need to eat or it’s back to medical and that dastardly tube.’ Tony had to try very hard not to roll his eyes or poke fun at Steve for his old man language.

Instead he went with; ‘I don’t think I’m hungry.’ And sagged back against the pillow.

‘Tony this isn’t up for debate, you need to eat something it’s been days.’ Steve took his hand softly, massaging the knuckles. It was something he had picked up doing recently, and Tony found he really enjoyed the touch. ‘Please?’ He really wasn’t hungry, but who could say no to Captain America when he sounded so sincere?

‘Anthony you must join us in feasting!’ Thor boomed beside him and Tony felt his blood turn to ice and his body go stiff with shock. He couldn’t breathe around the rope on his throat, the hands exploring his body. ‘Brother Anthony?’ He was hyperventilating now.

‘Tony, Tony it’s okay.’ Steve was hushing him, pulling him forward with his hand and holding it against Steve’s chest to assist his shuddering breaths. _Panic Attack_ his brain helpfully supplied him. ‘You are in Avengers Tower, we are about to eat dinner. Nat, Clint and Thor are here. Bruce is serving dinner.’ Tony sucked in a shuddering breath and leant in to Steve’s broad chest as he struggled to regain his composure. He was a little uncomfortable knowing the others had witnessed this. ‘Hey it’s okay.’

Hesitantly it seemed, Steve’s hand settled on his back. Tony knew he must look repulsive right now, he could feel the way his bones protruded, knew there must still be bruising and scrapes all over his body. That it must be hard for all of them to look at him, let alone for Steve to touch him so often but he found himself leaning in to the touches all the same. This time was no different and he arched his back in to the touch, seeking out the small amount of comfort it brought it him.

‘Let’s go eat some dinner, come on.’ Tony tried to protest when Steve placed his arms underneath his knees and easily lifted him in to a bridal carry, but by the time he had filled his lungs with enough breath to he was placed in a chair and his leg was being elevated again. ‘Looks like Bruce made chicken soup, just here-,’ Steve took his hand and guided it to a warm bowl and a spoon ‘and at your eleven o’clock is a milkshake.’ His hand was led to a chilled tumbler and he found the straw.

It was embarrassing to need this, so much assistance just to eat. After he tried to eat a yoghurt one handed downstairs in medical, and missed his mouth twice in front of Rhodey he had given up altogether. Fuel to fire as far as he was concerned, his heart was failing and he was blind he didn’t know why he tried so hard to begin with. When he had first woken up, he had felt that something was wrong outside of the obvious but he had been so relieved to be back home and safe he convinced himself it didn’t matter.

Now that he was sitting at the table with his team that had rapidly become his family, blind and being guided to where his food was _right in front of him_ his cheeks were flushing red and he wanted nothing more than the isolation of the medical ward back.

Steve lingered for a moment, closing his hand around the cup before moving to sit beside him, he could hear the others chatting as they walked over. ‘Try not to say his whole name, just stick to Tony. He knows you didn’t mean it big guy.’ Natasha was consoling Thor.

‘Tony I am sorry for being insensitive, Lady Natasha has informed me of my mistake and I promise you it will not happen again.’ Tony nodded, hoping Thor saw it still not sure of his own voice right now. He was half the man he used to be now; too scared to speak in case he wavered and showed more weakness than he was already broadcasting.

Pulling the milkshake closer towards him on the table, Tony sought out the straw and closed his mouth over it. The frozen mixture was good on his throat and he sucked more of it down. ‘Slowly Tony.’ Bruce admonished from across the table, so he took smaller sips as the others made small talk around him, soup forgotten. That was an endeavour he wasn’t willing to face right now not when his failed attempt with the yoghurt was at the forefront of his mind. His spoon to mouth coordination was going to take some work.

‘This is really good Bruce.’ Steve commented, a small slurp following.

‘So much better than burgers.’ Clint followed his spoon clinking loudly as he slurped louder than Steve.

‘Is this a table of savages?’ Natasha asked, making no noise as she ate her soup except for the spoon clinking on her bowl. Tony could imagine the dead serious look on her face right now; she was probably staring down Clint in competition. Bruce chuckled as Clint slurped even louder than before. ‘You are disgusting.’ She admonished.

Tony slurped on his milkshake as loud as he could, Clint snickered and Steve groaned. Smiling around the straw he slurped the last of his drink and put his hand on his stomach. Full for the first time in weeks, but shivering from the chill Tony pulled the blanket over his lap a little tighter. Content he let the conversation lull over him, leaning back against the dining room chair he closed his eyes and dozed lightly until Steve touched his arm to wake him. ‘Do you want to go back to medical ward or stay here for a little longer?’

‘Stay?’ Tony croaked, swallowing around his rough throat and coughing a little. Shivering, he blinked languidly as Steve collected him back in to his arms. ‘You’re warm.’ He mumbled, burrowing in to Steve’s arms a little more.

Steve chuckled and held him a little closer. ‘It’s just us now; the others went back to their floors. Think they thought you might have been done for the night.’ Tony hummed against his shirt. ‘I-I could hold you for a bit… on the sofa if you want- for warmth.’ Steve stuttered, shifting him in his arms as they stopped.

Usually Tony would tease Steve ruthlessly for that, but right now it sounded like the best thing since sliced bread and nodded. Steve sank down on to the sofa and positioned Tony gently between his legs, supporting his tender shoulder and leaning around him to prop a cushion under his casted leg before throwing a blanket over them both and circling Tony in his arms.

Wrapped in Steve’s arms, Tony felt as safe as houses. Lying against Steve like this he could feel his heart beating against his back, his body lifting with the strong breaths of the super soldier. Warm hands were encasing his good one, holding tightly. Steve lowered his cheek to the top of Tony’s hair and breathed softly. ‘You can sleep,’ Steve whispered ‘I won’t let anything happen to you.’

‘I’m not worried about something happening to me.’ Tony whispered, burrowing a little.

‘What are you worried about?’ Steve whispered back, breath tickling his scalp a little.

‘When you all realise I can’t beat this and leave, I don’t see the use in dragging it out.’ Tony’s cheeks flushed with the admission, encased in Steve’s arms like this his defences had fallen. He hadn’t meant to share that much, but it was out there now and Steve had stopped breathing behind him and Tony was preparing to be yelled at or lectured.

What he wasn’t expecting for Steve to shift suddenly, his hand coming up to tilt Tony’s face toward him where his breath danced across Tony’s cheeks before Steve kissed him. It was deep and Steve brought his other hand up to cup the back of Tony’s head to make it deeper, his tongue asking for entry to his mouth, he let him in. When they came up for air Tony was panting, heat burning in his cheeks and brain shut down. ‘I will never leave you Tony, I’ve been trying to prove that to you all week but I guess I am going to have to try harder to make sure you know.’

Steve’s voice was husky, his thumb stroking Tony’s cheek before capturing his lips again. Tony didn’t deserve this, the tenderness of the kiss or the way Steve was caressing him. The way he had put up with Tony’s crazed mood swings all week, his lashing out and shouting, his own vain attempts to halt treatment so he could die sooner than the doctors were predicting. Steve was too precious for that.

Pushing away from the kiss, Tony shuddered through a small sob. ‘Hey, hey no, don’t cry- what’s wrong?’ Steve twisted around more, assumedly to put them face to face as thumbs swiped the tears from under his eyes. ‘Talk to me.’

Tony shook his head vehemently, ignoring the way his stomach churned at the movement. ‘Steve you deserve better than this, someone who can give you what you want and won’t hold you back. I’m literally dead weight right now, this would never work. All we do is butt heads and drive each other insane.’ Even while it was the truth it still hurt, Tony didn’t want to lose the chance for whatever this could have been but he also knew, logistically; that it wouldn’t be fair on Steve. ‘It would never last.’ He whispered, Steve was still cupping the back of his head.

‘Don’t you think I should get a say in all this?’ Steve asked. ‘We got off on the wrong foot on the Hellicarrier and both said some things we didn’t mean to, but things have been better since then.’ He sounded so sincere Tony wanted to believe him but it hadn’t been much better. ‘Sure you don’t follow my orders on the field, and we get under each other’s skin all the time but there’s been so much more. You’ve started letting me in the workshop and even though most of the time you’re too busy to entertain me you still do. Every time I come down there with something broken you put time aside for me.’ That caught Tony’s attention.

‘Were you deliberately breaking my tech to come see me?’ Tony asked, shocked.

Steve didn’t respond and Tony swallowed, that was answer enough. Steve had tried so hard to get Tony to let him in, to find even ground between them and all he had done in response had teased the other man ruthlessly. Sure he had helped repair or replace whatever he had broken, but he had been cruel about it more often than not. He winced in guilt. ‘You always explained things to me so I could understand, and I appreciated that. But really I just wanted to spend more time with you.’ Steve’s thumb brushed the soft skin behind his ear. ‘You were an ass a lot of the time, but the longer it went on you stopped being such an ass and let me just sit in there while you worked.’

That was true; Tony had given up and granted Steve access whenever he wanted. He hadn’t terribly hated the company, and Steve was good to bounce ideas off. It still niggled at him that he hadn’t been able to see through the younger man’s ulterior motives for coming down to his workshop so often. He felt his cheeks burn with shame. Steve had slowly but surely wormed his way in and played Tony without him realising.

‘You also started to give the team more time too, not just me. Attending dinners or the occasional movie and it was so good to see you out of the workshop, even if I was selfish and always tried to distract you.’ Tony thought back to the movie nights, how Steve would always sit next to him at the table and they’d needle each other or discuss upgrades to the team weaponry or outfits. Steve was always the one to engage him in conversation, sat beside him on the sofa and at the table. How had Tony not seen how much effort the other man had been putting in to this?

Tony didn’t lie to himself too much; he had recognised he had feelings for Steve before the Avengers had moved in to his tower, before Pepper had left him. Yet, somehow he had managed to make himself completely blind to the younger man outside of appreciating the view and yearning from afar. Not once had he actually looked and paid attention to how Steve acted around him too intent on maintaining his own distance and keeping him at bay. He groaned and tried to pull his head from Steve’s large hand, but the fingers just closed a little firmer in his hair and held his steady.

‘Admittedly,’ Tony swore he could hear the blush in that tone ‘it took me a long time to realise half the insults or lewd comments was you flirting and I think I get it now, a little at least, but you were so hot and cold I couldn’t make head or tails of it all.’

‘I was trying to push you away, even before all of this I knew I had no chance with you Steve.’ Tony admitted. ‘Figured if I was a crude enough asshole you’d want nothing to do with me for upsetting your old timer standards and values.’ Steve huffed a laugh against his nose.

Sighing Steve pulled their foreheads together. ‘I am my own person Tony, and I would appreciate the chance to make my own decisions, and my decision is to have a chance to court Tony Stark and make him my fella’.’ Tony groaned, how was this man even real, _court_? Really?! ‘If you don’t want that though, and it’ll hurt a lot but I am a big boy, I will respect that and back off but I think I deserve the right to a chance. Given everything that’s happened these past weeks it’d be slow, but I am an old man…’ Tony couldn’t help the laugh that slipped. ‘Maybe slow is a good idea, new ground for a man well out of his time.’

This was Tony’s chance to break it off at the start, stop it before it could progress and things got out of hand, until someone could be hurt. But he couldn’t and his throat was closed up against the thought of turning Steve away, earnest, sincere Steve Rogers that wanted to god damn _court_ him and have Tony as his _fella._ ‘Jesus Steve, we shouldn’t…’ Tony swallowed thickly. ‘But I don’t want to say no, not without seeing where this could go first.’

Honestly Tony wasn’t even sure how this could work, eventually Steve was going to want retribution for their relationship and after the week he had spent being thoroughly broken apart on that bed Tony wasn’t sure he was going to be able to reciprocate in that area without having a panic attack. Steve wasn’t that type of person, logically he knew that, he would respect Tony’s pace and boundaries and would never force himself on another person but it still rankled in the back of his brain. But he tamped it down, squished it in to a too small compartment and locked the door; when Steve’s lips met his own again he threw away the key.

Deepening the kiss Tony tangled his tongue with Steve’s and just appreciated the moment, letting the fact that he was French kissing his childhood idol _the_ Captain America rush over him in warm waves. Steve broke their kiss and rolled Tony against him so they were chest to back again, strong arms wrapped around his middle and clasping his hand as they hunkered down against the pillow.

Steve broke the calm silence. ‘The team won’t leave you either Tony, we are here to stay.’ He whispered, pressing another kiss in to Tony’s hair.

‘You can’t just say that Steve, I have layers of insecurities but I don’t want to go in to it.’ Tony replied, squeezing the larger hand around his and letting his eyes fall closed. He wasn’t facing Steve so he didn’t have to worry too much about being rude and didn’t bother to open them again.

One of Steve’s hands shifted around his middle and slipped under his t-shirt, stroking along the clammy skin of his waist, brushing over his ribs in a soothing motion. Tony melted in to the touch a little, he hadn’t been held or touched like this since he had broken it off with Pepper and he was thoroughly enjoying it. He was briefly aware that his skin was still a little too warm with the lingering fever and hoped he wasn’t overheating Steve, not that he thought he would have the wherewithal to pull away or remove himself from Steve’s embrace.

They must have fallen asleep at some point, wrapped around each other. The next time awareness rose above the swell of peaceful, actual restful sleep, Tony shifted against Steve’s chest. The memory of the night before brought heat to his cheeks and he froze for a moment, just breathing until he eased back a little. Steve shifted a little under him, a sleepy little snore against the top of his head. Tony smiled dopily before he focused on the other sounds in the room.

Someone else was in the room with them, the television playing quietly in the background. Tony tried to focus on the sound and scrunched his eyes up.  ‘ _Rumours surrounding the disappearance of billionaire and super hero Tony Stark are running rampant on social media today as it marks two weeks since the man behind Iron Man was publically snatched from the streets. Despite several press conferences held by Stark Industries CEO Pepper Potts assuring the public Mr Stark has been retrieved and is receiving medical care, people are beginning to doubt the super hero has come out of this unscathed due to his continued absence. Some have even speculated that Tony Stark has died and they are trying to cover it up to avoid economic collapse of the company.’_     

Snorting in disbelief Tony regretted it immediately as his chest seized up and he broke in to a coughing fit, Steve’s hands coming to settle on his back with gentle thumps helping to loosen the phlegm built over night. ‘Shit sorry I didn’t think it was loud enough to wake you.’ Clint, Tony realised through the haze of coughing induced hypoxia that threatened him. Footsteps thundered away through the haze in his head as he gagged and gasped for proper air.

For a moment Tony thought he was going to die right here and now in Steve’s arms on the sofa, coughing and struggling to even half fill his lungs as his head roared against the lack of oxygen. Something was forced in to his hand and directed towards his mouth, somewhere in the background Steve was trying to tell him what to do but plastic was in his mouth followed by a small hiss and he was inhaling something that tickled the back of his throat but seemed to help. His lungs started to un-seize and another cold hiss hit the back of his throat before the plastic was removed. He heaved, relief filling his starved brain when he could draw in moderately more air.

‘Here.’ Clint was back again, the familiar plastic of a mask slipped over his mouth and nose and he drew in a shaky breath of the oxygen. ‘Myers brought them up earlier, you’re in trouble by the way, missed your curfew.’ Tony shut him out, sucking down the oxygen with a desperation he didn’t know he had possessed anymore.

‘There we go, that’s good.’ Steve was rubbing his back, one hand on his chest to hold his lax body upright as he breathed through the spasms that threatened his lungs to stop functioning again. His heart thumped irregularly against the arc reactor, the little built in defib mechanism shooting off small zaps in to the struggling muscle as his body tried to get back in to rhythm. ‘Might be time to head back to medical.’ Tony shook his head violently, regretting it as dizziness swamped him.

‘M good, need to spit.’ He lifted his shaky hand to pull away the mask, choking on the gross glob in his mouth.

Something cool touched his chin. ‘Sorry mug is the closest thing.’ Clint apologised but Tony didn’t care and expelled the phlegm instantly sighing in relief when he could breathe better and pushed away the mask.

‘Where’s Pepper?’ He asked, trying to sit up a little more. Steve’s hands supported his shoulders. ‘Need to do a press release, stop all this nonsense.’ He motioned vaguely towards the quiet hum of the television.

‘Really?’ Clint snorted. ‘Dude you just hocked a decent loogy in a cup and nearly suffocated and you care about some dumb reporter?’ Clint sat down beside him. ‘Priorities man.’ Clint admonished.

Coughing again, Tony shook his head. ‘Can’t afford the stock crash, not when the company just lost its main source of income.’

‘After breakfast and you’ve visited medical.’ Steve said, taking the mask from his hand and sliding out from behind Tony to settle him against the pillows, still warm with Steve’s body heat. ‘You need to eat something, take your medication and do what the doctor says.’ Tony glared, not in the mood to be bossed around right now, not when he had things to do. ‘Doctor’s orders Tony, if you wanna stay out of medical you need to do what you’re told.’    

‘I don’t have time for this!’ Tony snapped, wishing he had sounded a little stronger and more angry but his body rapidly betrayed him with a heavy wheeze that had him swaying against the pillows.

‘You can talk to Pepper after.’ Steve wasn’t budging, and Tony knew he was defeated. He didn’t like it, but he nodded mulishly.

Around the sounds of the team emerging on the floor and breakfast being thrown together, Tony sagged against the pillows and plotted out what he would he need to say while shitting himself at the same time. It was going to mean going in front of hundreds of people he couldn’t see while trying to convince them everything was okay without destroying his company.

Suddenly the rampant thoughts of dying and giving up were at the forefront again, batting at the fear and anxiety of facing his own disabilities and everything they would mean not only for his own life but of the company and his place as an Avenger and where he stood now in this world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would imagine Steve to be very gentlemanly in a relationship but definitely more dominating and pervasive than Tony would be, but more softened due to being a man out of his time. Either way I am not 100% sure I nailed this scene. Let me know what you think!  
> Also as far spelling mistakes go I am sorry! It's cold in Aus and my fingers go very stiff, I tried to go back over and fix what I found but my brain is backwards most of the time and I miss them!


	18. Chapter 18

Thankfully Steve wasn’t alone in thinking the press conference was a stupid idea. Rhodey and Bruce were in his corner, they’d each taken futile attempts to talk Tony out of his reckless decision but Pepper had stepped in with a supporting argument in Tony’s favour. They needed his presence, stock had been rapidly declining and the board were growing uneasy with Tony’s prolonged absence and the disappearance of another one of their own. Nobody had come forward to question Pepper about Marcus Dawson but some rumours had reached her, regarding his involvement with Tony’s disappearance and sudden re-appearance.

There didn’t seem to be any way of talking Tony out of his decision, so Steve stood to the side as he watched Tony sitting on the bench at the end of his luxurious bed where he should have been, sleeping, accepting Pepper’s help to dress in tailored suit that was much too big. From across the room Steve could see the sweat beading on Tony’s forehead, the minute shivers and trembles as he struggled to hold himself upright.

When Pepper finished with the tie and buttoned the waistcoat Steve surged forward, holding the brace for Tony’s shoulder in his hand and kneeling in front of his newly acquired fella. He’d tried to play that card on their way back from the medical ward, where Tony had stayed silent and lax as Doctor Myers moved around him and swallowed his tablets with nary a word of protest. But Tony had just shaken his head against his argument held resolute. Steve was reminded again just how stubborn and pig headed the older man could be when he wanted too.

‘Just need to put the brace back on, can’t risk your shoulder shifting much more.’ Tony nodded mutely and stayed statuesque minus a small wince when Steve shifted his shoulder to accommodate the brace and strap his arm in place. ‘You don’t have to do this.’ He mumbled quietly, aware Pepper was watching them from the bureau. Tony just slumped his shoulders and flopped his head towards Steve.

Their foreheads butted for a moment before Pepper broke in. ‘I have some sunglasses here, you’ll stay in the wheelchair the whole time, I have the cast visible to make sure people don’t ask too many questions.’ Pepper sat beside Tony on the seat and placed one of his many colourful pairs of glasses in to his good hand. ‘I’ve organised to have an earpiece mike for you, so you don’t have to worry about holding it up or searching for it when we get out there. I’ve also put a bar on any questions being asked. This is a press statement and nothing more, you are not required to answer anything.’ Tony just nodded listlessly, swallowing a little as his hand trembled around the sunglasses.

‘Miss Potts the conference is ready to begin.’ Steve looked the ceiling with a grimace; even Jarvis didn’t seem on board with this.

‘Thanks Jarvis, we’ll head down.’ Pepper answered, turning her stare to Steve and offering a small guilty smile. ‘In and out, just like we rehearsed.’ Tony just nodded again, grunting a little when Steve fluidly picked him up and helped him settle in the wheelchair. Coming around to face Tony he took the sunglasses and slipped them on the geniuses pale face and ran a hand through his neatly styled hair.

Steve hadn’t thought he would ever see Tony like this again, dressed to the nines in a suit that probably cost more than his apartment had back in the forties, looking like he was ready to rule the world. Only this time Tony was pale and clammy, his eyes unfocused behind the glasses as he blinked a little owlishly. It was clear he wasn’t ready for this yet, nowhere near battle ready to face the press. But as Tony and Pepper kept insisting they needed to do this, the longer they could prolong the truth coming out the better.

Silently they rode the elevator down to the lobby where the press were waiting for them, as soon the doors opened the cacophony of noise was overwhelming to his serum enhanced ears. In front of him Tony flinched harshly, hand clenching over the arm of the wheelchair. Steve had heard that the other senses heightened to make up compensation for the lost one, this must be thunderous for Tony after spending a week inside the quiet calm of the Avenger floors.

Squeezing Tony on the shoulder for one last show of support Steve wheeled him out in front of the crowd. Natasha hurried forward and bent in front of Tony, guarding him with her body as she inserted the small microphone in his ear and positioned the piece by his mouth. Her hand lingered a little longer on his cheek before she pulled away and moved to stand at ease, but poised to strike beside Steve as they came upon the podium.

Nerves and senses alight with tension and anxiety Steve swept the room, looking for anything that could be amiss, any danger the security may have missed or someone that could have slipped past the sensors. He spotted Happy Hogan and Clint in the crowd, moving around fluidly amongst the sea of people and motioning to their badges when someone failed to have theirs on display. The crowd dimmed to a quiet murmur when Pepper stepped forward.

‘Now like I announced earlier, this is simply a press statement. Mr Stark is still recovering from his ordeal and will not be answering any questions today. Anyone who violates the guidelines of the release will be escorted off premise by a member of security.’ Pepper levelled the crowd of reporters with a stern look and stepped away.

Taking his cue Steve moved forward with Tony and stood at parade rest behind him, he wasn’t in uniform but Steve was still capable of being imposing in civilian wear and settled his unwavering stare on the crowd as Tony gave a small cough and waved lamely at the crowd.

‘Hiya,’ he called, voice echoing gravelly through the room, the room laughing softly ‘as you all know I took another forced vacation, a much shorter one this time thankfully.’ The room laughed again. ‘But there have been some rumours speculating I had died, or finally lost the plot and had become a crazy recluse and locked myself up in my ivory tower.’ Steve was amazed that Tony was able to sound so stable, commandeering the room so easily when just moments ago he had been a quivering mess.

‘That simply isn’t true; I have been recovering in hospital and attending to both my physical injuries and my pride. Not many people can get the upper hand on Iron Man.’ the crowd shifted, people jotting things down while others steadied their recording devices or cameras. ‘In my downtime I have continued to work and there will be product releases in due time, but genius takes patience so you’ll just have to hold on to your hats on that one.’ Another snicker from the crowd. ‘As for what happened, I am not at full liberty to say, the case is still ongoing and the culprits behind this have not been apprehended thus far. But I would appreciate patience on your behalf and would like to ask that you hold off on writing me off completely. However for the unforeseeable future I will be taking a step back in my role as Iron Man as I recover from my injuries and work to regain my health-,’ Tony couldn’t get the rest of his statement out after that, the crowd erupting in a cacophony of questions being shouted over each other.

Steve watched Tony stiffen up against the onslaught of noise, his hand clenched in his lap as everyone continued to shout. Realising things were getting out of hand Steve stepped forward and took the microphone from Pepper and addressed the crowd. ‘Tony will still be a member of the Avengers, just not on active duty; there are still many things he can offer as an invaluable member of the team. It has been agreed that Colonel James Rhodes will be assisting in his place for the time being in the War Machine armour.’ The room had hushed again as Steve took control. ‘We would appreciate if you respected this decision, and Miss Potts authority on the matter that we are not taking questions at this time. Thank you.’ Steve handed the mike back to Pepper and stepped back beside Tony.

‘Thank you Captain Rogers.’ Pepper said, regarding the crowd again. ‘We will release another press conference when the company has a new release, for now thank you very much for your time.’ Steve placed his hands on the handles of the wheelchair and had to restrain himself from rushing off the podium. He could see Tony growing paler, the sweat running down his neck as his fist clenched in his lap and his shoulders were swaying a little in the seat.

When they were out of sight of the cameras behind a poster Steve rushed around and squatted in front of Tony taking his hand and unfurling the tight fist to squeeze it, other hand removing the mike from his ear and pocketing it after thumbing it off. Tony looked terrible when Steve removed the sunglasses and his heart broke a little at the wrecked look on the older mans blanched face. Bringing his hand up he stroked his thumb across Tony’s cheek, Tony leaned in to it with a shaky breath and shuttered his eyes closed, long lashes fanning out on his sharp cheekbones. Steve tamped down on the urge to pull him in to his arms, but this wasn’t the time or place for public shows of affection. He was probably pushing it touching Tony like this right now.

‘Let’s get you back upstairs, see what Bruce has out together for lunch.’ Steve hushed, voice low and comforting, he didn’t miss the way Tony blanched though. ‘You need to eat Tony.’

‘Please stop mentioning food, I already want to puke.’ The Tony Stark billionaire, playboy, genius persona he put on for the press was gone and Steve smiled softly at the bared face of just Tony who was still beautiful to him even a little green around the edges. Leaning forward he cast his eyes for a moment and pressed a soft kiss to the tip of Tony’s nose before launching himself up and wheeling them towards the waiting elevator.

Natasha came up beside them as they entered and she settled her hand on Tony’s shoulder. ‘You did well, Pepper’s just doing some crowd control at the moment but she said she’ll come up as soon as she is done, Clint is still watching the crowd so he’ll escort her.’ Tony nodded, resolutely staying mute as he pursed his lips. Steve wondered if he was still feeling sick or just didn’t have the energy to answer.

Exiting the elevator on the communal floor Steve paused and looked down at Tony again, he had been intent on putting Tony back on the sofa in nest of blankets but he wasn’t going to be too comfortable in the suit. Floundering for a moment he waited till Tash was out of the elevator and moved back in. ‘Just going to get Tony changed, be right back.’ She nodded, small knowing smirk on her face as she rounded the corner. ‘Is that okay?’ He asked Tony as the doors slid shut and they moved up again.

‘It’s fine.’ Tony mumbled, shivering a little.

They moved in to the penthouse and Steve looked around, realising he had no idea where Tony kept any of clothes or if Tony was even going to be okay with Steve helping him like this. He had resolutely stayed out of the room when Tony had dressed earlier. Rhodey had stepped forward to help Pepper, apparently far more comfortable with dressing his best friend than Steve was. ‘Where are your clothes?’ He asked, casting his eyes around the large room. The walls were seamless and the only doorway led to what looked like the bathroom.

There was the bureau but Steve had watched Pepper draw ties and cufflinks from the few drawers there so that was out of the question. ‘J open up.’ Tony called and the AI complied as a wall slid forward and warm lights lit up the large hidden space. Steve didn’t think he had ever seen so many clothes in one place outside of a store in his life. His eyes lit upon the neatly hanging rows of suits and slacks, shirts of every colour and material folded neatly along the other wall.

Wheeling the chair in to the sizeable space he wandered ahead in search of something a lot more comfortable. ‘Very end in the drawers, tops in the first and bottoms in the third.’ Tony supplied behind him. Following the guidance Steve pulled out the top drawer and giggled. Right on top were several shirts, obviously memorabilia of the team, but what caught his eye was a very well-worn white t-shirt with his shield on it, slightly ribbed and tattered with regular washing. Brushing his fingers over the soft material he pulled it out and let it unfurl in his hand.

It had obviously always been too big for Tony, oversized and slightly out of shape around the shoulders, but it was definitely loved and a little threadbare. Smiling he folded the top back up and placed it in the drawer again, pulling a Pink Floyd one out instead. ‘Don’t mess up my index.’ Tony warned, and Steve couldn’t tell if he was being sarcastic or not until he opened the third drawer and found pants folded neatly and colour co-ordinated.

Something he had not been expecting.

Jeans took residence in the right side of the drawer, all neatly folded in order of staining while track pants and gym pants took up the left side. He hadn’t expected Tony to be this neat, sort of assumed it must be Pepper, if the total state of disrepair the workshop seemed to always be in said anything about the eccentric genius. But heeding Tony’s warning not to disturb anything he took the closest and softest pair of track pants from the drawer and turned back around. Tony was leaning a little sideways in the chair, sunglasses in one hand and eyes dropping a little as he wheezed softly, obviously drained.

Jumping in to action Steve moved forward and set about removing the shoulder brace and placing it to the side, making short work of the tie and unbuttoning the waist coat. ‘It’s going to hurt taking all of this off.’ Steve apologised as he gently removed the layers of clothes. By the time they were down to cotton shirt Tony was sweating and panting as he clasped his shoulder tight against his body. ‘One more layer.’ Steve moved his hands to the buttons, before he had finished undoing the second one Tony’s hand closed over his wrist and stalled him, looking into the other man’s face Steve was taken aback to see fear. ‘It’s okay Tony, I won’t hurt you.’ He assured, but Tony didn’t let go as his breaths got a little harsher, on the verge of hyperventilating.

‘It’s-It’s not,’ Tony stumbled on his words ‘not you, not you- is me- it’s… the reactor.’ It dawned on Steve like a lightbulb moment and he looked down at the muffled blue of the arc reactor. Apart from the time in the factory, which he was sure Tony didn’t remember, Steve hadn’t seen the reactor up close or without a shirt covering it. Tony was scared of him seeing it, whether he was worried Steve would try and take it or hurt him, he wasn’t sure but his heart clenched a little.

‘I can get someone else.’ He whispered, a little upset. Tony’s hand tightened around his wrist but didn’t let go even when he shook his head in response to Steve. After a few, slow, desperate breaths Tony slackened his grip and pressed Steve’s hand to buttons again.

Unsure if Tony actually wanted him to do this Steve didn’t move his hand, just watched as Tony fought down a shudder and nodded roughly, swallowing loudly in the silence of the wardrobe. With deft, quick fingers Steve undid the buttons and pushed the shirt away. Manipulating Tony’s stiff shoulder he slid it to the floor and took a moment to appreciate what was in front of him.

 _So thin_ was the first thing Steve couldn’t help but think, Tony looked like the victims of a concentration camp he had lost so much weight. If he wanted to Steve could probably count all of Tony’s ribs. Without realising what was happening until Tony shuddered Steve looked down at the hand he brought up to rest on Tony’s waist, his hand dwarfing the pale expanse of flesh in front of him. Eventually his eyes sought out the pale electric blue of the reactor and his breath was taken away in a small gasp.

It was beautiful. Through the glass he could see the small blue element that Tony had created, snug and protected inside the metal casing. In the quiet of the wardrobe Steve could hear the quiet hum of the machinery, he wanted to bring his hand up to touch it but Tony was already as tense as possible beneath his hands and he didn’t want to push his luck. ‘It’s beautiful.’ He breathed instead, leaning forward to capture Tony in a kiss, soft at first before deepening it a little more when Tony responded. His hand trailed around to Tony’s back mapping out the expanse of skin beneath his touch before tangling in hair and pulling the other man impossibly closer for their positions.

When Steve pulled away he took in Tony’s flushed cheeks, kiss swollen lips and eyes glazed with lust and a small touch of disbelief. Peppering a few softer kisses along Tony’s jawline he pulled away to retrieve the shirt and talked Tony through the pain softly as it was pulled down over his narrow chest. Steve was sorry to lose sight of the arc reactor but he knew he would have another chance to see it, so instead he settled on the next stage.

A sharp blush blew up his face and he shifted on his knees in front of Tony and looked away bashfully. This wasn’t exactly the way he imagined he would take Tony Starks pants off. Coughing around his own embarrassment he shuffled forward a little and paused, no idea how to approach this. ‘I uh, need to,’ his cheeks burned hotter ‘pants- off.’ He was mortified, groaning he buried his face in his hands even though Tony couldn’t see him.

‘Captain!’ Tony gasped voice scandalous, and Steve cast a look at him through his fingers and groaned again at the flirty look he was giving him, eyebrows waggling. Trust Tony to never miss a chance to taunt him. The only comfort being Tony was just about as red in the face as Steve was.

Fingers fumbling a little Steve got the one shoe off Tony’s foot before jumbling his attempt to undo the button and zipper to free the pants; he tried to avert his gaze as he pulled them free from pale olive skin. His eyes lingered on some of the bruises that were still healing, little yellow splotches randomly dotted across his thighs before the larger, angrier purple and blue bruising that crept up from the lip of the cast. Steve couldn’t help the wince of sympathy when he saw it. He had seen the break in the factory, the enormous amount of swelling around the displaced bones, Bruce had told him it must have hurt Tony terribly to stand on while he had been held captive. Stomach clenching he threw the pants aside and worked on getting feet in to openings.

Standing up he directed a silent Tony to drape an arm around his shoulder as he lifted them both up and smoothly pulled the pants to rest low on Tony’s hip, a little too big for him now. By the time Tony was back in the wheelchair with the brace on, Tony was panting and sweating from the exertion but looked a little more at ease. ‘I am staying in these clothes for the next week that was too much.’ He groused, shifting in the wheelchair with a wheezy sigh.

‘Some lunch and you get pain killers and a snuggle on the sofa.’ Steve promised, wheeling them from the penthouse back to the elevator. ‘You did a good job out there today, you’ve earned it.’ Steve smiled down at the genius, pleased with him.

When they got to the communal kitchen it was a scene of domestic bliss, Pepper and Natasha were sitting at the table chatting with mugs in front of them, Pepper had her heels off and hair down now and looked a lot more relaxed then Steve had seen her in a long time. Bruce was at the stove again, batting away the hand Clint kept shooting out with a spoon to get a taste and Thor was sitting on the counter laughing at them. Rhodey was fiddling with the blender, muttering something about eccentric geniuses and their tinkering as he tried to make it blend something fruity.

For the time in two and a half weeks, Steve actually felt the glimmer of hope that they could get through this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	19. Chapter 19

To both Tony and Peppers surprise the biggest downfall from the press release came in the form of a bewildered and angry Doctor Myers who had stormed his way in to the communal floor and levelled Tony with a venomous look before scolding him like a chastened child for breaking his orders of doing more than bed rest. By the end of the day however the stock had climbed and his wild stunt had worked.

Initially Tony hadn’t put much thought in to it; he had heard the reporter on the television and made up his mind. But now that he was back on the sofa again, swaddled in the blankets Steve insisted on piling on top of him, his stomach sank and his heart clenched. He’d just pretty much retired himself as Iron Man, the one thing Pepper had been begging him to do since the first time she laid eyes on him in the Malibu workshop riddled with bullet holes. Maybe if he had listened to her back then none of this would have happened and he wouldn’t be in this position in the first place.

The two of them could have stood a chance as a couple. Even if Tony’s antics as Iron Man had been what brought them together in the first place, Tony doubted even know that he would have gone back to change things.

There was probably no coming back from this now, he had said his part for the crowd and cameras. How long would it be before Fury was sending Phil with the official papers barring him from the Avengers? Despite what Steve had said at the release there really wasn’t anything Tony could offer them anymore. He couldn’t make tech or upgrades for the team if he couldn’t see what he was handling. That would just be foolish and dangerous to risk his ex-team mate’s lives like that.

Something he wouldn’t allow himself to do. As impersonal and aloof as he made himself towards the team he had come to care for all of them, deeply. There was a reason he spent so many sleepless nights locked up in his workshop upgrading the Widows Bites or Clint’s arrows, spent hours working with Bruce to create flexible material for Jolly Green and laboured over the magnetic return band for Steve’s shield. (Natasha always sniped about cleaning up after them, fetching the shield for cap when he missed the return swing.)

Thinking about Steve brought a new wave of anxiety to the pit of his clenched stomach, knotting it further. In the last twenty-four hours they had kissed, embraced and shared sleep on the sofa. Even after the embarrassment of the wardrobe an hour ago, Tony still couldn’t wrap his head around how this had happened. How he had let it happen.

While Tony had made more effort in the last few months to be more accommodating to Steve he had made well sure in his mind that it would never go further than friendship. No matter how much he hinted to Rhodey over the phone that he had wanted more from it all. He could have put it down to a moment of weakness, the need to latch on to something in a sea of uncertainties but even that would be a lie.

The unintentional intimacy of Steve assisting him to dress grew a new wave of heat through his body, even as he internally cringed at his own pathetic-ness needing the help in the first place. This was, apparently, his life now. Whether he wanted it or not, Steve had seen him practically naked and stripped bare of all his barriers and had simply called him beautiful, enunciating it with deep kisses before bringing him back downstairs.

This was all well out of his control now, there was no way he could turn his back on the one thing he had wanted and pushed away for the past year. But deep down he couldn’t shake the uncertainty that at some stage or another Steve would tire of him. The mood swings and lack of interest in his own well-being, the ever present temper just waiting to boil to the surface. Tony was a surly mess of unpredictable emotion with more walls than China. There were reasons why he had stopped letting anyone close after Pepper, why he never instigated more than the flirting and the teasing with Steve, why he was rude and abrasive.

Sure Tony wasn’t big on following rules and struggled to adapt to teamwork, but that was who he was as a person no matter how much it rankled on Steve. But he was also damaged and a difficult person to love, he wasn’t labelled a playboy for nothing. Commitment made him prone to hives and outlandish behaviour; just ask Pepper.

But even now, beaten down and blind Steve still wanted to give them a chance- to _woo him_. Tony had tried to convince himself it was just Steve taking pity on him, but Steve was Mr Pure and Righteous and would never do that to another person so he had thrown that out the window. All that was left to do was try not to scare Steve off and hope for the best, his own warring personality of negativity and pessimism be damned.

 _He wanted this dammit_. Surely he could keep his shit together long enough to give it a go without getting under Steve’s skin too much.

Speaking of Steve, Tony jumped when a hand settled on his shoulder and warm breath tickled his cheek. ‘Lunch is ready, want me to carry you over or use the wheelchair?’ He was so close Tony thought he could turn his face and press lips to Adonis worthy cheeks but he restrained his wayward thoughts and considered his options.

‘Wheelchair.’ His dignity was still very much in tatters and he didn’t want to lose any more of it being carried to the table like a child. It stung enough having Steve lift and assist him in to the chair because of the cast. He was desperate to go down to his workshop and have Dummy remove the blasted thing.

Settling in to the hard wooden chair at the table Tony deflated, as glad as he was to be out of the stifling confines of the medical wing at least there he hadn’t been surrounded by everyone not knowing if they were watching him blundering around his place setting and struggling to locate cutlery he couldn’t even guide to his big mouth.

Not that he had to flounder for long.

Two months in to their new living arrangements as a team in the tower, and the first field injury that befall Clint and it had become clear Steve had every intention of becoming their assigned house mother. Steve hadn’t let Clint out of his sight after escorting him to and from Shield medical, the others had laughed and snickered as he had fussed over the archer, ensuring he obeyed the order for bed rest strapping and elevation. Even going so far as to routinely bring the archer ice packs to reduce swelling in the torn ligament; Clint had been hobbled with his ankle and stood no chance of escaping and had to endure all of Steve’s focus on his wellbeing.

The others made endless fun of Clint’s fate. Until one by one they had each fallen prey to an injury or at one point physical illness and become ensnared in Steve’s fussing and shared sympathetic looks for sniggers instead.

The man was insufferable.

‘The fork is here’ Steve guided Tony’s hand to the cool piece of cutlery ‘and the plate is just here. Looks like Bruce made chicken and vegetables.’ Bruce hummed his agreement in the background. The chair beside him squeaked across the tiles and groaned as Steve set his muscled mass in to the chair. ‘Rhodey tried to make you a smoothie but…’ Steve trailed off and the others snorted.

‘Whatever you did to that poor machine Tony, put a warning label on it first.’ Rhodey grumbled, settling on the other side of him. The sweet smell of fruit wafted off his best friend and Tony sniffled around a blocked nose. ‘Damn thing blew the lid off.’ Rhodes huffed.

Snorting Tony turned his attention back to his lunch, he wasn’t hungry and his stomach was still twisting itself inside out with anxiety and stress and he didn’t want to put the effort in to attempting to skewer food he couldn’t see. But the thought of being carded back off to the medical ward and having that intrusive tube shoved down his nose again made him put in a little effort. Despite the inability to see his body, Tony was well aware of the mass he had lost during the week of captivity.

While he had never been tall and muscular like Steve, Tony had shared the same frame as Clint. Short and a little stocky, what Tony lacked in bulk and height he made up for with his lithe and flexible frame. The state he was in now, if he were to chance any flexibility he would probably snap in half. Hence forcing himself to eat, no matter how much he wanted to reject the food. (Reject everything.)

Waiting till the team were chattering away he clumsily stabbed the fork where he hoped the plate was and winced when it scraped uselessly on the china, his second and third attempt went the same away and the conversation had lulled around him. Growling he threw the fork down and swept the plate away from him, tears welling with frustration and shame. Choking on a sob he let his head fall forward, ignoring the protest of pain in his fractured sternum and shoulder too let his forehead thump on the table’s surface.

All the conversation had stopped. Tony heard Steve shift in the chair beside him, waited for him to say or do something but it was Rhodey that dropped a comforting hand on his back. Steve’s chair squeaked backwards over the tiles again and his footsteps moved away, cupboards opening and closing in the kitchen. ‘Don’t worry about it Tones.’ Rhodes murmured in his ear, hand rubbing soothing circles in his back.

Talk picked up again, Thor instigating conversation with Bruce until everyone else joined in. Something thumped beside his head and strong hands slipped under his chest and manipulated him in to a sitting position. Tony groaned in pain and leaned back against Steve’s firm stomach as Rhodes hand slipped away from his back. ‘Milkshake.’ Steve manipulated his hand to the table and closed it around the frozen drink before pulling away and going back to the kitchen, probably with his discarded plate.

Leaning forward to slurp on his drink Tony distanced himself from reality, closing his eyes and for the first time since coming home relishing in the inky darkness. Grateful he couldn’t see the others or meet their eyes as he sucked down the sickly drink, ignoring the chill it left behind. When he got to the bottom of the drink his stomach tried to revolt, eyes scrunching against brain freeze as he swallowed thickly, forcing the icy drink back down. Steve hadn’t brought a blanket to the table this time and Tony longed for the comforting warmth.

Letting the chatter around the table wash over him Tony tried to focus.

‘Tash and I wanted to prank to Coulson, he was still pretty new to us at that point and we weren’t scared of him yet.’ Clint was saying. ‘So I was hiding on top of the bookcase in his office with all these water balloons waiting for Tash for lure him in so I could strike. We had a call sign for approach, she was meant to whistle or something and I thought I heard it and the door opened.’ Natasha was already laughing. ‘I didn’t even wait to make sure it was Phil because I trusted Tash and launched the balloons and oh my god…’ Clint gasped around his own choking laughs. ‘I kid you not I ambushed Fury in the face with a dozen of the little things and for a man with only one eye he sure knows how to give you the stink eye.’

‘The idiot spent the next week pushing paper for Phil and avoiding Fury like the plague for fear of retribution.’ Tony imagined the fond smile that would be on Natasha’s face as she shared the memory with everyone, the way Clint would go red in the face with silent laughter as he thumped his hand on the table. Next to him Steve was chuckling.

‘Turned out Phil knew what we were planning and sent Fury in their first deliberately, that’s how we learnt to respect the man. Nothing gets past him.’ Clint stated, gasping around trailing laughs.

Smirking in to his lap Tony added his two cents. ‘First time I met Phil he threatened to Taser me and watch Super Nanny while I drooled on the carpet.’ Clint burst in to fresh peals of laughter with a loud whoop, next to him Tony heard Steve mutter a small _what_ in disbelief as the others all chuckled.

‘Lesson learned; don’t fuck with Phil Coulson.’ Bruce lamented solemnly, setting Clint off again.

Trying to smother a cough that caught on some laughter Tony groaned and clutched at his chest, wheezing heavily. It was hard to differentiate the pain, was it the cracked sternum or the pneumonia? Irregular heart rate or secondary pain from his shoulder radiating? Gasping a little more desperately, Tony felt shattered.

It had been nice for a minute to just sit there with everyone, laugh and share stories with each other and just share in the company. As he had listened Tony had almost been able to keep his demons of the last two weeks at bay. But with the sharp bite of chest pain and breathlessness he was slammed back to reality. Steve was grasping his arm and saying something to him that he couldn’t hear over the roaring in his ears as he struggled for oxygen.

Three irregular beats later Tony realised belatedly it was his heart, the dull _thump-thump-thump_ between delays causing the breathlessness. Over the past week Tony had gotten accustomed to the bradycardia and extra beats. After coming back from Afghanistan it had taken him much longer to adjust, to the reactor and pressure that came with it. The reduced lung capacity and the intermittent tachycardia had bothered him the most though. The slower heart rate, once he had gotten past the sluggishness of it was a walk in the park.

Now however, seated at the shared dining table surrounded by the team and his two best friends, people he had strived hard to hide any sign of weakness or arc reactor related issues from, Tony panicked. With each passing second he could feel his heart slowing down, beating less and less until he was sagging forward. This was something he knew, was heavily familiar with, but didn’t put him any more at ease.

Cardiac arrest, his heart was about to stop and he couldn’t hear what anyone was saying or gasp out a plea for help from where he was scrunched in to himself at the table. Doctor Myers had warned him this would happen, told him he was at high risk of death outside of the medical floor but Tony had been too stubborn and pig headed to concede defeat and stay in that damn bed.

Now he was probably going to die in front of the only few people he cared about and lose his chance with Steve before they even got started. Drawing shallow wheezy breaths and fighting unconsciousness Tony startled when hands grabbed and lifted him, they didn’t move him far as he was spread out on the cool tiles.

Last thing Tony remembered was shaking hands tearing open the shirt he had worked so hard to get on with Steve before he felt the weak muscle in his chest quiver one last attempt at a beat before it gave out and stopped.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry!


	20. Chapter 20

Everything was moving in slow motion, like it were heavily coated in molasses and filling all his senses with cotton wool, dulling sound and motion to a sickly crawl. Without thinking or registering his own movement Steve shot his arms out as Tony tipped sideways from his chair like deadweight and balanced him against his chest. Rhodey came in to his tunnelled line of vision and was lifting Tony’s legs, moving him toward the floor where they could lay him flat. Steve followed with bracketed movements, his body moving on instinct while his brain lagged.

Weren’t they just laughing and talking about Coulson? Tony had just told them Phil had threatened to Taser him, had been chuckling and half smiling as Clint had whooped and laughed. What just happened? He’d seen the moment something shifted in Tony, heard him groan and wheeze as he’d clutched his chest, and assured himself it was just the injuries leeching the little colour from his face with pain. Hadn’t really connected the dots until Tony had all but collapsed in to himself and the conversation had stopped abruptly.

Vague memory of more panic than a computer program could surely possess as Jarvis had broken through the solid wall of shock announcing Tony was going in to cardiac arrest. Dying right in front of them and Steve had just sat there a little stupidly until Tony had been tipping toward him. Everything still seemed to be slow motion, even as Steve leaned over Tony and started compressions. His body was on automatic now, field medic training kicking in on instinct as his brain just shut down and distanced him from what was happening.

The others were there, Natasha was supplying breaths each time Steve paused his compressions, just like they had been taught too and Bruce was holding Tony’s wrist with two shaking fingers on the pulse point even though it was clear by his face there was nothing there. Steve kept up the compressions though, not willing or at all able to stop until he felt something snap under his palm.

Reality slammed back in to him and time seemed to speed up again as a greasy wave of nausea rolled through him, swallowing heavily he looked down at his hands, appalled where they were braced over Tony’s sternum. He had just broken something, this time he wasn’t sure he could keep down the bile burning in his throat and he scrabbled backwards in shock until his back hit the leg of the dining table.

‘Its okay, Steve, it’s okay.’ Bruce was in front of him, face wavering a little around tears Steve couldn’t remember shedding. ‘It’s common, that can happen to a lot of people.’ He was starting to hyperventilate now; he had just snapped a bone in Tony’s chest how could Bruce think that was okay?   

‘Bruce!’ Clint was perched by Tony, a machine balanced in his hands. Bruce pulled away and took it from him.

Crawling back over Steve could feel his brain blank out on him again as he looked down at Tony. He was so still, not dissimilar to how they had found him in the factory when his heart had stopped that time. But this was worse; Tony should have been safe with them and not at risk of just keeling over dead at the table. ‘ _Steve!’_ Bruce’s voice cut through the haze. ‘Get his shirt open, we need access to his chest.’ Nodding, hands moving before he had chance to form the thought he tore through the black material and pushed it away.

Gazing down at the pale expanse of flesh his eyes lingered for a moment on the arc reactor before his brain made the connection. There was no pale blue light radiating from the device. His heart stuttered in his chest and he shifted back a little as Bruce slapped pads on to Tony’s chest, the whine of the machine beside him telling them what they already knew, no pulse. Watching with a detached distance his heart clenched again when Bruce laid hands on the dead reactor.

Logically Steve knew Bruce was the only person who knew more about the reactor then Tony did, that the scientist would never turn on Tony and try to deliberately take the reactor or hurt him with it. But he couldn’t help the little flutter of anxiety in his chest when with a little hiss, the reactor came free of the casing and Bruce put it on the floor beside himself.

Watching Tony being jolted with controlled zaps of electricity was traumatic, at some stage Natasha had knelt beside him and taken his hand as she whispered something in Russian that might have been a prayer as she watched Tony with hard eyes. He could hear Pepper crying, Rhodey muttering small condolences to the strawberry blonde in the background. They all waited for a sound they weren’t sure was even going to come, until it filled the room and everyone had frozen.

Beside Bruce the AED was emitting small, irregular beats that steadily became a little stronger as they all held their breaths. Steve stared, in shock as Bruce leant over Tony and placed shaking fingers at his pulse point and seemed to sag in relief. Clint came forward with the oxygen tank and secured the mask over Tony’s blue lips and turning up the volume as he handed a smaller device to Bruce that he clipped to a small finger on Tony. He seemed to be reassured by the numbers displayed as he fell back on his butt and laughed a little before burying his face in his hands.

Rhodey was the first one to break the silence. ‘Vitals, Jarvis?’ His voice shook, and Steve met his eyes over Pepper’s shoulder.

‘Blood pressure is sixty-two over thirty-five, heart rate irregular between thirty-nine and forty-two beats and body temperature low at 95.74, respirations shallow and fast at twenty-four. I recommend medical intervention to stabilise.’ Steve could swear the AI sounded shaken, a little unsure of himself.

‘Alert Myers; tell him we are on our way down.’ Rhodey let Pepper go and moved over to Tony and Bruce, nudging the scientist and motioning to the arc reactor still sitting forgotten off to the side. Bruce seemed to lag for a minute as the shock wore away and jumped to action as he expertly twisted the device back in to place.

Able to do nothing but watch, Steve watched as Rhodey hefted Tony in to his arms effortlessly and walked towards the open elevator with Pepper on his heels holding the oxygen tank. The AED was sitting discarded now, thankfully turned off and Steve stared it in mute shock still incapable of winding his frozen brain around everything that had just happened. Natasha was still holding his hand but had fallen silent, her eyes shut and lips thin as she bowed her head and hid behind a fiery frame of red as she regained her composure.

None of them moved.    

Heaving in what felt like his first breath Steve let go of Natasha’s hand and stood up turning to the table and gathering empty plates with numb hands, stacking them on top of each other and piling the cutlery on top with a clatter as he walked to the kitchen. Dropping them with a crash in the sink he gripped the lip of the sink and leant forward as he drew in another deep breath, shocking setting in proper now as he started to shake.

‘I do not understand what just happened to our Shield brother.’ Thor’s shaken voice filled the room, strange without the booming quality he normally spoke with and making Steve wince. Silence followed the small declaration, nobody quite sure how to answer.

In the end it was Bruce who spoke. ‘Tony has a heart condition, it stopped his heart but we got him back. He’ll be okay.’ It sounded like he had added that last part more for himself than for Thor. More silence filled the large living area and Steve forced himself to push away from the support of the sink and turn back around to face what remained of their team.

Floundering for something to say, Steve bowed under the pressure of being their captain for the first time. They needed someone stronger than he felt right now, who could take back control of the moment and give them some direction, to move forward but his throat closed up around speech and he just stared at them.

Bruce was still sitting on the floor beside the AED, pale and tense as he clenched and unclenched his fists; muscles shifting a little uneasily under his loose shirt. Natasha had gotten up and sought out Clint who was white as a sheet and staring at the floor resolutely with a tight look on his face. Thor had sunken back to his seat at the table staring in to the distance with a dismayed look of confusion on his face.

This kind of thing wasn’t supposed to happen to them, not when they were all around to keep each other safe and out of harm’s way. Not inside their home. The home that Tony had made and invited them to be apart of.

It brought him back to the conversation on the sofa with Tony, when they had shared their first kiss. How Tony had been so sure they would tire of him, only appreciating him for his money and technology. Standing in front of this rag tag team of people right now, obviously wrecked by what had just happened; Tony couldn’t have been further from the truth with his assumptions and Steve would be damned if he wasn’t going to make sure Tony knew he was cared for.

Not after they had nearly lost him, again.

Fate was toying with them, lulling them in to a false sense of security before violently ripping the rug out from beneath them and upending what little amount of peace they had been able to achieve.

Then came the crippling guilt.

All of this could have been avoided if Steve hadn’t acted selfishly, it crippled him. He had been the one to disobey Myers orders, had removed Tony from the medical floor before he had been medically cleared. While his intentions at the time had been pure, to pull Tony from his self-imposed death sentence it had backfired on them with near deadly consequences. Even if he had achieved the given goal of pulling Tony back from brink of slowly killing himself, gotten him to accept help; it had nearly cost all of them his life.

He’d been so wrong.

Unsure what do with himself, Steve drew in a ragged breath and looked at his team again. Bruce was pushing up from the floor, a little wobbly on his legs. ‘I’ll be in my lab, I- I need a moment.’ And with that he was gone, moving quickly for the elevator that closed swiftly behind him, descending.

‘You guys can head off, I’ll ah, clean this up.’ Steve croaked, waving a stiff arm at the table. Thor stood up quickly, nodding his head, clearly uncomfortable with his lack of understanding and stormed off. Looking over at Clint and Natasha he gave them a small nod where they were leaning against each other and started to collect the cups, lingering on Tony’s for a minute as the remaining chill of the milkshake leaked in to his number fingertips.

It had all happened so quickly.

‘It wasn’t your fault Steve.’ Eyes shooting up to look at Natasha, Steve turned away at the honest sincerity in her gaze. It was _his entire_ fault. ‘If he’d stayed in medical he wouldn’t have been strong enough to come back from this, you know that.’ Natasha had come to stand in front of him now, intent on making him listen. ‘You intervened for a reason; he was killing himself up there. But up here with you, us; he was trying a little harder and that’s all that matters right now, that and the fact that he pulled through this and he’s still alive.’ He looked down in to the shorter woman’s emerald eyes, seeing the determination there. ‘Don’t you dare clock out on us now, on him.’ With that Natasha took the cups from his limp hands and stalked away from him.

Sagging in defeat his body felt like it weighed a thousand pounds and he wanted nothing more than to flop on his bed and pull the covers over his face, hide from the world for a little while. But first he had to go and see Tony, make sure he was actually okay and safe. Natasha’s words spurred him on as he entered the elevator not even having to tell Jarvis where to go. Leaning against the sleek black walls he deflated and took a moment to himself to try and gather his shattered composure, expecting to meet retaliation from the doctor and Pepper when he stepped on to the medical floor.

It was quieter than he had been expecting, after the mad rush of the dining room as they’d struggled to revive Tony but there was only the one nurse behind the small reception and the warm glow of the lights. For a moment his heart skipped anxiously, thoughts of Tony’s heart stopping for good this time filling his head as he hurried towards the room. He deflated when he spotted Tony, swamped in blankets and covered in wires again, decidedly alive as his chest rose and fell in little stutters.

Rhodey and Pepper were as close to the bed and the genius in it as they could be, milky white and darker skin closed over the same hand. ‘How is he?’ Steve asked, stepping in the room and moving to Tony’s other side to prop his hip on the bed suddenly relieved to be here and laying his hand on a blanketed thigh. Pepper shot him an icy glare but didn’t say anything, Steve had expected that but it still rankled.

  _Double Standards_ he thought, thinking how the other woman had been more accommodating in the face of getting Tony the press conference.

‘Won’t know much till he wakes up, doc ran some labs and did some tests but it looks like everything is still the same.’ Rhodey supplied, giving him a sad but relieved smile. ‘He was pretty pissed but I shut him down, wasn’t the time or place.’

Looking down at Tony’s pale face Steve wouldn’t have known his heart had stopped less then fifteen minutes ago, he looked peaceful and relaxed. Bringing a hand up he ran it through knotted hair and brushed his thumb over a small scar he had never noticed before in the hairline, rubbing soothing circles over the pale mark. ‘If he has a problem he can bring it up with me, I stand by my decision.’ Steve declared, shocking himself with the level of surety in his voice when he looked up to meet their eyes.

Pepper looked like she wanted to say something, to tell Steve off or ask him to leave but she just stood up and placed a soft kiss on Tony’s forehead and left the room without a word. ‘Sometimes I think she forgets that she isn’t involved in his life like that anymore.’ Rhodey said looking at the door Pepper had just left through. ‘She isn’t his PA or girlfriend anymore so she doesn’t have as much pull on him, she cares but I don’t think she knows how to show it without yelling or telling him that she disapproves.’ Steve could imagine she was a handful to manage, she had always appeared calm and in control around Steve before all of this had happened but he had noticed her propensity for the word no when it came to Tony.

‘Drove him insane when they were together, before they broke it off I think Tony realised he had made a mistake instigating the relationship but always backed it up because he loved her even if it took him a while to realise it was more familial.’ Rhodey was looking down at Tony with a fond look. ‘Now that this has happened Pepper’s well out of her depth, she feels guilty and hates that there is nothing that she can do so naturally she’s taking it out on everyone else.’ Steve snorted, giving Rhodey a look. ‘She can be a pain in the ass, but she means good so try not to let the attitude get in the way too much.’

Nodding, Steve shifted a little closer on the bed in search of a comfier position. If Rhodey wasn’t in the room he probably would have climbed on to the bed completely and pulled Tony against him, but he wasn’t sure how comfortable Tony would be with that sort of affection around Rhodey so he held himself back. Even as his body longed to be vertical as the last vestiges of shock left him drained and empty.

‘I better go make sure she isn’t tormenting the doc, I’ll come back by later.’ Smiling appreciatively Steve waited till Rhodey was out of sight before toeing off his shoes and sliding on to the bed. He was probably going to get in trouble for it, but it seemed like Tony slept better when someone was holding him so Steve positioned himself behind him easily and leant Tony back in to his chest without dislodging any wires.

Sinking back in to the pillows he let himself relax, the familiar sounds of the heart monitor assuring him that Tony was alive and warm on top of him. At some point after the adrenaline and shock had washed away he must have fallen asleep, because his gritty eyes blinked open in confusion to a nurse staring at him like a deer in the headlights, an IV bag half suspended in the air.

‘Sorry I didn’t mean to wake you.’ She whispered, expertly hanging the little red bag and connecting it to the IV in Tony’s limp hand. Tony shifted against him a little, groaning quietly but thankfully didn’t wake up.

‘It’s okay.’ He whispered back, shifting a little of his numb butt and squeezing Tony a little closer. ‘How’s he doing?’ Steve asked, bring another hand up to swipe the hair back from Tony’s smooth forehead, it was reassuring to see him so relaxed like this despite everything.

‘Everything looks good, some of his bloods were a little off but he’s out the woods for now.’ She gave him a small smile of reassurance.

‘How long have I been here?’ Steve asked, looking around for the clock and surprised when he saw the time. He’d been asleep for four hours. ‘Gosh sorry, I didn’t mean to over stay my welcome.’ He apologised, wondering if he should leave, not wanting to cause any more trouble.

‘It’s okay, Doctor Myers isn’t bothered as long as Mr Stark doesn’t try and get out of bed.’ The nurse assured him, giving him another soft smile before leaving the room.

Considering going back to sleep for a little bit longer, still wrecked, he shuffled a little more down the bed and settled Tony a bit more comfortable against his chest and rested his hand above the reactor. The memory of bone snapping beneath that same time made him hiss, pulling away like he had been burned guilt roiled in his stomach.

Against his chest Tony groaned again, a little louder this time as he shifted a little, eyelids fluttering. Steve watched him for a moment, settling his hand in to unruly brunette locks that were in need of a trim and running his fingers through them. Tony stilled for a minute before eyelashes fluttered open to reveal glassy brown eyes, aching a little inside Steve watched as Tony blinked languidly, eyes unfocused. ‘Ngh.’ He moaned turning his head a little. ‘Steve?’ His voice was rough but music to his ears.

‘Yeah it’s me; you’re okay but you are back in medical.’ Tony scrunched his face up underneath the oxygen mask, his hand came up uncoordinated and dropped down on his face before pushing the mask away with irritation. Taking pity Steve smiled and helped move it away, casting a look at the monitor to make sure it was okay before placing it beside his thigh, within easy reach. ‘Do you remember what happened?’ Tony’s head jerked back and forth.

Unsure what to say for a minute, Steve bit his lip and gnawed on it. Your heart stopped and I broke your ribs? We risked your life taking you out of medical and nearly lost you for it but we don’t regret it? In the end he was saved from the explanation when Myers knocked on the door and walked in with a clipboard in his hand levelling Steve with an amused look when he noted their positions. Steve blushed in embarrassment.

‘I’m not even going to bother lecturing you Tony.’ The doctor opened with. ‘This should have been penance enough.’ Tony just scowled, clearly not making heads or tails of the situation. ‘Your electrolytes were off so I can’t say for sure if this was contributed to the heart failure or the critically low levels of potassium you came in with but really, Tony, I cannot stress how important it is you start taking this all a little more serious.’ Steve grimaced at the reprimand. ‘Cardiac arrest is no laughing matter, you were lucky this happened surrounded by a group of people that knew what they were doing or we very likely wouldn’t be having this conversation.’

‘A risk I face every day doc, you know that.’ Tony grunted. ‘If this-,’ he tapped the reactor through the gown ‘stops working or someone takes it I’m a goner.’ He shrugged against Steve’s chest, leaning against him a little heavier. ‘I know the risks.’

‘You do and yet you still never take them seriously, your body is weak from the pneumonia and poor nutrition and weight loss if you don’t try and turn things around now this is just going to get worse.’ Steve felt Tony shudder a little, but didn’t know if he should step him the awkward third wheel as the doctor told him off.

‘Not going to make a difference, we already discussed this. No transplant team is going to put Iron Man or Tony Stark on their listing, not with the long list of reckless endangerment and the alcoholism.’ Tony’s voice was thin and reedy, resigned to his fate.

‘In some cases heart failure can be reversed but without more effort on your behalf…’ Myers trailed off, and Steve could see how frustrated the man was and felt for him. Steve was frustrated too, sure he had gotten through to Tony even a little that they weren’t giving up that easily.

Leaning his head forward to nestle beside Tony’s ear he whispered ‘What happened to all the hard work of the last few days?’ Tony shivered under his breath, sagging a little in a smidge of defeat.      

‘I’ll work on it.’ It didn’t sound entirely convincing, but Steve took it as a win and so did Myers who smiled in relief at Steve.

‘You have to stay here overnight to replenish your electrolytes and precautionary monitoring, I’ll have one of the nurses bring in some nutritional supplements and I want you to drink them, dinner and supper time.’ Tony looked like he wanted to object but the doctor cut him off. ‘You need to gain weight Tony, I don’t care that they taste like ass this is non-debatable.’ Tony snapped his mouth shut and pouted. ‘As long as your bloods improve and there are no more incidences overnight you can go again, but I will still want to see you every-day here or upstairs I don’t care and that’s not up for debate either.’

‘Thank you doctor, I’ll make sure he drinks them.’ Tony groaned dramatically and looked betrayed but Myers just smiled and wished them a good night before taking his leave.

‘I don’t appreciated being ganged up on, that’s not courting its just cruel.’ Tony grumbled, sinking his whole weight against Steve’s chest. ‘Rude.’ He huffed.

Smothering a laugh Steve pushed his limit and pressed a kiss to the top of Tony’s hair and nestled his chin there. ‘I can’t court someone if they’re dead.’ He had meant it as a joke but it came out a little more morbid than intended and he winced when Tony stiffened a little in his arms. ‘Sorry.’ He mumbled.

‘S’okay I get it.’ Tony sighed. ‘Are you okay, everyone else?’ He asked. ‘We were eating lunch?’ Steve nodded in to his hair.

‘Gave everyone a scare but I think when they see you are okay it won’t be so bad anymore. But Tony, please don’t give up. That’s twice now I’ve nearly lost you and I really don’t want to go through a third this month I want you alive, we can get through this.’ He felt Tony open his mouth but tutted him. ‘No I know, we already fought over this but I won’t back down and either will the others. I know you think they don’t care but what happened a few hours ago? They were wrecked Tony, they were worried we would lose you as a person and a friend not as a team mate or a bank account or access to cool tech. Let us in love, please.’ Steve didn’t care he sounded pathetic, begging Tony like that. He just wanted to get it through the thick skull under his chin.

‘Did you just call me love; are we already at pet names?’ Tony tilted his head to the side so Steve leaned down and kissed the edge of that smart mouth, shutting him up.

‘I swear you have the most astute selective hearing.’ Steve murmured in to the other man’s neck as he delivered soft kisses down the warm skin, flushing in the wake of his lips. ‘Let us in Tony, please.’

‘You are infuriating, fine.’ Tony groaned in defeat and Steve lifted their mouths together and praised him with a deep kiss, still a little stunned he was allowed to do this outside of his dreams now. Each time it was better than the last and felt like this was something he could get used to.

‘Mr Sta- oh!’ Steve pulled away, cheeks burning when the nurse covered her eyes in shock before turning and fleeing the room. Groaning, Steve buried his face in Tony’s shoulder as the other man just laughed at him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you guys still enjoying?


	21. Chapter 21

Holding true to his word Tony complied with his treatment. He spent two horrific nights, swamped in night terrors and three days in medical as they stabilised his bloods and adjusted his medications. Let them change dressings and push burning fluids through the IV he didn’t pull out, no matter how much he wanted (take that Steve, he could be responsible), sat through the anxiety when stitches were removed and shivered when hands touched him where he didn’t want to be touched by strangers he couldn’t see.

Tony drank the thickened, sickly sweet nutritional drinks that sat like concrete in his stomach and made him want to vomit with every meal without putting up too much a fight. Even swallowed the pills he had been prescribed, after Natasha of all people, had sat with him on the sofa and told him what every tablet was and what it was for to ease his anxiety. Allowed them to administer pain medication when he got to stubborn to admit he needed it, (if he went too long without it though his hand shook and he broke out in cold sweat).

By the end of the week the pneumonia had finally retreated, the constant low grade fevers abated and he was able to take his first full breaths (as full as his reactor reduced capacity allowed anyhow) without needing to cough or have someone whack him on the back to dislodge gunk from his chest wall. It was a relief he hadn’t realised he had been looking forward too, being able to breathe a little easier. The bones in his chest were still fractured and they hurt like hell but Bruce had promised him now that he wasn’t prone to violent coughing fits, the bones would have a better chance of healing.

That had led to an interesting conversation, Bruce had accepted the knowledge and burden of being the only one familiar with the arc reactor and how it worked but he hadn’t asked Tony many questions outside of the obvious. Bruce had spent a good three hours sitting with him on the sofa that day, the most the biologist had been out of his lab all week and asked all kinds of questions. Like how Tony coped with the weight of it, and how much it affected his day to day tasks and how much it had reduced his lung capacity.

Tony had shared holograms and CT scans of his chest with Bruce, trusting Jarvis to bring up the right ones for him and told his science bro more than he had ever shared with someone. ‘I prefer to sleep on my side, but I can only get a few hours that way before it starts to get too painful and I have to sleep on my back.’ He had explained. ‘My lung capacity is down to something like seventy percent now, part of my sternum and lung was resected to fit the casing.’ Bruce had been appalled hearing that one. ‘It’s not as heavy as it looks, sometimes it’s hard not to slump forward though to take the pressure off it but if I lean forward for too long working on something delicate in the shop it digs in a little inside and it gets too hard to breathe.’

It went on like that throughout the whole week, Tony realised what they were doing but didn’t have the heart to ask them to stop; they probably needed it more than he did anyway and he found he enjoyed their company a little.

The few times he had been truly left alone in the lounge room, nestled in his sea of blankets, his mind drifted to places he didn’t want it to. It always ended with Steve gripping his arms and reciting the mantra Jarvis had taught him to bring Tony out of flashbacks or nightmares. Those moments left him weak and exhausted and Steve would stay with him and just hold him, talking nonsense or sharing stories from his past about Bucky or his mother.

They still fought, Tony couldn’t control the anger that always seemed to be simmering under the surface and sometimes Steve would say or do something innocent and his brain would kick in to gear and he would snap at the soldier. One of their more noteworthy fights had been over the damn nutritional drinks. Tony hated them, no matter what flavour Steve brought him to try, they were disgusting and left a powdery residue (it was liquid, seriously how) in his mouth and made him feel sick.

‘If you think they’re so fucking great you drink them!’ Tony had snapped, pushing the compact bottle away from him at the table and reaching blindly for the smoothie at his eleven o’clock but just as he had closed his hands around it Steve had pulled it away. ‘Dammit Steve, give me my fucking smoothie.’ He growled.

‘Supplement first and then the smoothie, wash down the taste.’ Steve, always in control of the situation Steve Rogers, was losing his impatience. Tony could hear it in his voice and his hackles went up.

‘You drink it, and then you can tell me how great it is.’ Tony crossed his arm over his chest, cradling his strapped elbow, petulant.

‘If I drink two of them you have to have two tonight.’ Steve tried to reason, Tony wasn’t sure he wanted to agree to that in case Steve actually liked the drink, who knew what his serum enhanced senses could withstand, but he nodded reluctantly. ‘It’s not getting you out of supper though.’ Clint had snickered at that when Tony groaned in annoyance.

‘Give me on to try too, they can’t be that bad.’ Somehow from there the whole team had, sans Tony, had ended up with one of the drinks. Tony wished he could see their faces when they swallowed their first mouthfuls of the drink, but the sounds of gagging had been satisfying enough. Not surprisingly, Thor had enjoyed it and questioned why they were all complaining so much and finished everyone else’s bottles.

More importantly, Steve had relented. Tony felt a smug sense of superiority for winning when Steve had audibly struggled to swallow before putting the bottle down and reaching for the glass of water he had with every meal. ‘They could at least try and cover the taste of medicine.’ Steve gagged, Natasha slammed her drink down and slid it towards Thor and Clint had loudly made a show of spitting it out in the sink.

Tony hadn’t had to drink the supplement since then, but Steve was still forcing extra milkshakes and protein bars on him to make up for them. Tony still wasn’t gaining weight, even after a week of supplements and extra meals, Tony was almost eating enough now to contend with Steve’s super soldier diet but nothing was sticking to his bones.

Which had led to their next fight, very publically in the lounge room in front of the whole team that were scattered around the room when Steve had brought him in the wheelchair after another failed weigh in with Myers. ‘You aren’t even trying Tony! You refuse to drink the supplements which I understand, but we have offered you other things and tried to get you to eat more but it’s clearly not helping!’ Steve was agitated; Tony didn’t have to see his face to know that, he was learning to differentiate moods by tone now but he refused to take this sitting down (haha).

‘What the fuck do you think I’m doing with all the food you put in front of me Steve? Do you think I’m not eating it? Where the fuck else is it going huh?’ Tony growled, curling his hand in a fist.

‘Food, what food Tony, you refuse to eat anything but protein bars and toast the rest is smoothies and milkshakes it’s not enough!’ He felt the air move around him as Steve probably threw his hands up in the air.

Tony felt his skin burn in an odd mix of anger and shame. ‘I can’t see the fucking food on the plates you put in front of me Steve, can’t use the stupid fork because I can’t see where I’m supposed to put it and I don’t want to embarrass myself every time I miss the plate or my fucking mouth, which is attached to my body, I should know how to get food there but I don’t eat with this hand and I CAN’T SEE WHAT I’M DOING!’ His shout seemed to reverberate through the room; he knew everyone must be looking at him but before he could say anything else the wheelchair and himself were moving at a rapid pace. ‘Steve wha-.’ He gasped.

‘Nope not Steve.’ Clint corrected, then they were in the elevator and Tony felt his stomach plummet as they descended. ‘Looked like you needed the rescue, and I think Steve was about to start crying nobody wants to see Captain America cry.’ Clint joked as the elevator stopped and they moved out.

‘Clint…’ Tony moaned, not sure what was happening. He sniffed, the one thing he had been working on in the past week was his sense of smell. Usually as Steve moved him between the floors of the tower he was able to make out certain smells that set the levels apart.

Hints of sweat and rubber filled his sense, he tilted his head to the side and focused on the background hum of the air conditioning units and the slight echo as Clint wheeled him through the large open space. ‘We are in the gym, don’t know why I brought you here but it’s where I come when I wanna get away for a bit.’ Tony just nodded. ‘Wanna stay in the chair or sit on a mat.’

‘Chairs fine.’ Toy mumbled in to his chest, trying to make sense of what was happening. He and Clint were close, but they didn’t share a lot of alone time together. They shared a common propensity for pranks and jokes but that seemed as far their friendship went, swapping jibes over the comms and teasing each other in the tower. He was a little thrown that Clint had been the one to intervene in the fight instead of Bruce or Natasha.

‘Don’t be ashamed.’ Tony’s head shot up. ‘Don’t be ashamed of all this, the fear and the anger and needing to ask for help, you’re only human and I know how it feels.’ Tony snorted derisively. ‘No really man, I get it I do.’

‘Okay which one of us is A, the one with the sharpest eyes in team and B called Hawkeye for that very reason?’ Tony snapped.

‘Sure my eyes are good to go but my ears aren’t; legally I’m deaf as a doorknob.’ Tony scowled. ‘Here give me your hand.’ Rubber squeaked as Clint shuffled over to him, pausing in front of his knees and taking his hand. Tony still wasn’t great with touch, from anyone but Steve lately, but let the archer guide his hand until they touched his face. ‘Feel that?’ Clint asked, pressing Tony’s cold fingers against a small lump under his skin and letting his hand go. Tony explored the firm mass he could feel, accidentally brushing against Clint’s ear below his hairline.

‘What is it?’ Tony asked, interest piqued as he ran his fingers over the area and mapping out the size of whatever was under Clint’s skin.

‘Implants.’ Clint stated, holding still for him. ‘Both sides of my head Shield had them created and put in after a mission went bad and I lost my hearing aids. Never forgave myself for that, still don’t.’ Clint pulled away then and Tony dropped his hand back in his lap, listening. ‘Shield knew I was partially deaf when they brought me in, but I was an asset for my aim and sharp sight so they gave me a chance.’ Tony could hear the scorn in his voice.

‘I’d been part of the Strike team for less than six months when we got caught in the middle of a gun fight; I was perched on a building and took a bullet in the thigh. Knocked me clean off the edge and when I landed my hearing aids came loose and I didn’t have the time let alone the chance to put them back in.’ Clint drew in a harsh, rattled breath. ‘I lost all communication with the team, I couldn’t get where they needed me and men died.’ There was raw emotion in Clint’s voice, Tony wanted to say something but couldn’t form the right words so he just listened. ‘A stun grenade went off right in front of me, I was down and people were kicking me and it was like being underwater everything was so muffled. I was pulled out eventually but it was too late and the damage had been done.’ Rubber squeaked as Clint shifted his position again.

‘I woke up in medical and Fury was there and I thought that’s it, I let valued agents die because I couldn’t hear my orders and now they’re going to put me down like a dog.’ He laughed self-deprecatingly and Tony’s heart went out to the archer, he hadn’t known any of this but he could relate. ‘The stun grenade took what little of my hearing was left, I was too close to the blast radius and concussed by it. There were some sounds, muffled, but even with the hearing aids back in it was clear they weren’t doing much for me so I figured that if Fury was there it wasn’t for something good.

‘Turns out I couldn’t have been more wrong, he had someone there to sign for me that the R&D had manufactured new implants that were wired directly in to the brain and ear but they were experimental, didn’t know if they would work so I offered myself up to them on a silver platter as their guinea pig and so help me god, they worked.’ He huffed a small laugh. ‘I have to adjust them sometimes, an application on my phone, but I got around eighty-eight percent of my hearing back. I owe that man my life.’

Shifting under the weight of Clint’s words Tony sighed. ‘Don’t think it’s going to be that easy for me Clint, sight and hearing are two completely different things. But I appreciate you sharing this with me, I really do, it helps knowing I’m not alone in how I feel. The others…’ He trailed off thinking about it. ‘They mean well, I know they do but they are treating me different whether they mean to or not and it hurts because I want nothing more than to go back to how it was before.’

They sat in silence for a while after Tony’s little declaration, listening to the soft hum of the air conditioners and each other’s breathing. Tony didn’t know how long they had been down there for, but found he really didn’t want to go back upstairs and face Steve or the others after his angry outburst. So he kept talking.

‘After Afghanistan all I cared about was working and changing my life, being a better person.’ Tony broke the silence. ‘I made a promise to someone important I wouldn’t waste my life after he sacrificed his own for me, so I came back home and shut down the weapons and put all my effort in to being Iron Man. I flew a nuke in to space for Christ sake, saved all of Manhattan and tried to put my past behind me.’ Tony grit his teeth in irritation at himself. ‘I thought everything was going so well, I was an Avenger and we had this awesome thing going on even if Pepper left me, I was still happy.

‘I created clean energy, put a stop to all Stark weaponry, saved the world on occasion and kind of felt like I had a family with you guys and I don’t know where I stand in all of that now because you can’t be a genius or an engineer without your eyes, I can’t fly the suit so I had to retire as Iron Man. The Great Tony Stark, beaten down by dinner cutlery, starved to death by his own embarrassment and inability to ask for help.’ Tony hung his head in shame, he hadn’t meant to share that much with Clint but he felt the need to reciprocate after the archer had shared something so personal with him.

It did feel a little better to get it off his heart; normally Steve would be the one to coax stuff like this out of him, late at night on the sofa when it was just them. But there was something more comfortable with Clint, maybe knowing the other man wouldn’t just try and placate him with soothing words and soft touches. Clint took everything at face value and told it how it was and Tony appreciated that about him.

‘You have the world’s most intelligent artificial intelligence at your fingertips Tony, he can be your eyes in the workshop, god knows you yammer enough to him as it is I’m sure he’d follow your instructions. Hire a personal assistant or a protégé to do the more hands on stuff if you have to, this isn’t the end of your life man and we aren’t going to stand by and let you think that way.’ Clint sounded so damn sure of himself; Tony wanted to believe it could be that easy.

‘As for the food thing, Steve won’t let you starve to death the man’s smitten with you but you do need to eat more. Drinking your calories isn’t going to a damn thing to improve those scrawny arms, let us help.’ Tony shot a glare in his direction. ‘We won’t feed you but we there are other ways we can help; you could even eat with your bloody hands if that was more comfortable we just want you to get better.’

Shoes on rubber squeaked again as Clint stood up, yawning. ‘Should get you back before Steve sends out a rescue team.’ Clint pushed him back towards the elevator at a languid pace, less frantic than when they had come in. ‘Can the uh, hearing stuff,’ he stuttered ‘that stay’s between us. Tasha, Fury and Coulson are the only ones that know and I’d appreciate if it stayed that way.’

‘Sure thing feathers.’ Tony assured, easing back a little more in to the wheelchair. Steve had put pillows on the seat for him, but he didn’t like to spend too much time in it before his whole body started to ache.

When they came back out on the communal floor it was just Steve and Natasha talking quietly, they stopped as soon as Clint and Tony came in to view, which made him feel uncomfortable but he offered a small smile to them all the same.

‘Look Tony…’ Steve said voice quiet and subdued. ‘I didn’t mean to give you a hard time I just worry so much and I don’t know what to do with it.’ Clearly Natasha had given him a talking to; Tony smirked at the thought of the petite but lethal redhead telling off Captain Rogers.

‘Don’t worry about it cap, water under the bridge and all that.’ He waved his hand weakly in dismissal. ‘How about a lift to the sofa and we can leave it at that, bird brain can’t lift for shit.’ Clint snorted behind him but didn’t say anything.

Tony lifted his arm around Steve’s neck when he felt his presence and let him do most of the work as Steve turned them to the sofa, it was a relief when his leg was propped up and some of the pressure eased off, he was nearly due to his next dose of pain killers and he was looking forward to them. A pressure headache was building behind his useless eyes, something the doc said was common with traumatic brain injuries, and no matter how he positioned his head he couldn’t shake it. ‘Where are the others?’ He asked, focusing his hearing to try and pick up any sounds he might have missed.

‘Bruce went back to play without new thing he’s working on in lab.’ Natasha said as she laid a blanket over his legs, even going so far as to tuck it in a little. Tony was becoming incredibly fond of her, even if it had taken a long time to trust her after she had infiltrated his company as Natalie Rushman. ‘Thor went to New Mexico for a few days; he was hanging around in case we made any headway on the case but since we aren’t getting anywhere on that we let him go.’ The cushion beneath his leg dipped a little as Natasha sat down again.

‘Does anyone know what Bruce is working on?’ Tony asked, crinkling his brow in confusion. ‘He hasn’t been down here much, not that I don’t mind one less person fussing over me but I wouldn’t mind a little science talk here and there.’ Something wasn’t sitting right with him, but he couldn’t put a finger on it. ‘Has anyone actually looked in on him?’

‘I tried to go in a few days ago but he’s on lockdown.’ Even Natasha seemed a little put off. ‘It’s not like him to do that, usually that’s your forte.’ She slapped him on the leg playfully. ‘But who knows with mad scientists.’

Tony shifted a little, unsure. Bruce never kept things from him, they bounced ideas and theories off each other like a game of ping pong and often worked together on projects or went to each other for input where needed or to make sure they weren’t crossing any ethical lines with their work. The fact that Bruce was spending so much time, locked down even; something Bruce never did, in his lab was setting him on edge and making him feel a little sick. Secrecy never led to good things, especially with everything going on right now. ‘Maybe I should talk to him, next time he comes out; make sure he’s not doing something he shouldn’t be.’ He had to fight down the urge to touch his eyes self-consciously a little nervous he may be the reason Bruce was locking himself away.

‘Could just be he’s getting a little cabin fever, he’s been locked down for three weeks while we try to work out this mess. Nobody thinks anyone would have the gall to try and take the Hulk in the middle of the street but it’s a risk we can’t take.’ Steve supplied, sounding unsure himself. ‘Bruce has always appreciated his space and privacy.’ It sounded weak, but Tony nodded. Steve was right, even if Bruce had opened up a lot more since he had moved in to the tower he did prefer to be left alone.

‘I’ll ask just in case.’ Tony wasn’t even sure he’d get an answer but he had to try. ‘Where are you guys on this?’ He hadn’t asked about what happened, Steve had tried bringing it up with him a few times but his brain shut down on the subject. He knew they all wanted to ask him questions.

Coulson had tried bringing it up when they had been alone in the kitchen, needing answers from Tony that he wasn’t capable of giving at the time. All the agent had asked him was if he remembered what they wanted from him, and it had been enough to throw him in to a flashback about the rape. It was the only thing he could really discern that Dawson had wanted from him, and it was not something he was in a hurry to address, always pushing it to the back of his brain where he didn’t need to think about. After he’d recovered enough from the flashback Phil had tried to apologise but Tony didn’t want any of it.

Natasha seemed to be questioning if he was ready to hear about it when she replied. ‘We still haven’t located Maya Hansen, Jarvis and Shield are looking but she’s just vanished. Whoever is behind this, they are covering their tracks well. Every time Jarvis gets through one firewall there’s another one popping up or it’s a dummy site. They seem to be one step ahead all the time, like they know Jarvis is in the system it seems to more than just a failsafe mechanism.’

Tony considered that, it was a likely option. Not many people could get around Jarvis without being discovered, which was narrowing down the people who could be behind this substantially. But the name, Maya Hansen was familiar to him, he knew who that was but couldn’t seem to bring up a face or a memory. ‘I know her, but I can’t think where from.’ He wrinkled his nose, willing his sluggish brain to supply an answer but getting nothing. ‘Give me some time, it might come to me.’

‘Don’t push yourself too much.’ Steve told him. ‘It’s time for your medication; we can do something after if you want.’ A warm hand landed on his shoulder for a moment before Steve retreated to the kitchen for his tablets.

‘Coffee!’ Tony shouted to him, knowing he didn’t have to and Steve would have heard him even if he whispered. ‘We can do coffee!’

‘I take mine black and sweet.’ Natasha called as well, stealing some of Tony’s blanket as she settled in on the sofa beside him and he felt her feet wiggle underneath the cushion supporting his leg. ‘Maybe some biscuits.’ She added as an afterthought, Tony smiled. Thankful to have these people in his life.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed! Few more chapters and the story line will develop a little more and start to get further than just domesticated Avengers lol  
> If you have never drank a supplument drink like Ensure spare yourselves; they're horrific and every bit as sickly and thick as described.  
> I will be away for four days so there will be a delay in posting, otherwise let me know what you think!


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im back! I saw Infinity War on Saturday and I think my brain is still reeling! Holy shit! It was so intense and well and truly delivered!   
> Anyway please enjoy some mindless fluff between our favorite boys.  
> Oh and thank you for all the lovely comments guys, I really very much appreciate seeing them and will one day learn how to respond to them.

Fluffing more pillows than Steve had ever owned in his life on the Californian king bed in Tony’s penthouse, and flicking the stiffness out of abandoned blankets Steve smiled as he edged towards the open bathroom. Sitting on top of the closed toilet seat, casted leg extended outwards Tony was lazily brushing his teeth with droopy eyes. Leaning against the doorframe with arms crossed over his chest, Steve just enjoyed the view for a moment. It was rare to see Tony this unguarded, so relaxed out of the presence of the others.

After a few stolen moments Tony’s head perked up a little, eyes opening more as he did the adorable head tilt Steve was rapidly becoming obsessed with and titled his head at Steve with a foamy smile around the toothbrush. ‘Steeeeve,’ Tony burbled, minty foam running down his chin ‘are my teeth clean?’ He smiled widely.

‘Rinse your mouth first Tony, you’re getting toothpaste everywhere.’ Steve chuckled, staying back as he watched Tony pat his hand over the porcelain to seek out the nozzles and run the water before dancing fingers located the empty cup and he completed his routine. When the dazzling, sleepy smile settled on him again Steve moved forward and swiped his thumb over a stray bead of foam at the corner of Tony’s mouth, making him blush deeply. ‘Looks like you missed a bit,’ he closed the rest of the space and brought his mouth down on Tony’s, inhaling the minty fresh scent of his lovers mouth.

Pulling away with a wet pop Steve rested their foreheads together for a moment before effortlessly lifting Tony from his porcelain perch and moving in to the bedroom, pausing at the foot of the bed suddenly uncertain. This was unknown territory for them, whilst Tony had no qualms about sharing close quarters on the sofa a bed was clearly a different story. It all came back to the elephant in the room, the one thing Tony adamantly refused to talk or share anything about.

Rhodey had tried to broach the subject, to talk about what had happened but Tony closed up tighter than a clam shell and refused to budge on the topic. They’d seen the bruising read the medical file and found the bed in the brightly lit room of the factory with bloodstained handcuffs covered in Tony’s DNA but he still refused to acknowledge it.

So standing in front of the bed with Tony clutched tightly to his chest, Steve had no idea how to approach this. Whether to place Tony in the centre of the bed and make him comfortable or place him on the edge of the mattress and let him take it at his own pace? Would Tony even be okay with him in the bed or would that bring back to many memories if Steve touched him the wrong way?

‘We doing this?’ Tony mumbled against his chest, shifting in his arms a little and startling Steve from his thoughts. He didn’t miss the small quiver of uncertainty in his voice.

‘Yeah sorry of course we are,’ Steve swallowed tightly ‘want to sit on the edge first or hop right in?’ Asking was better than assuming he figured.

‘Edge.’ Tony was starting to sound a little panicked now, breathing a little faster against his chest and muscles tightened. When Steve eased him down on the edge of the bed and moved to unfasten the brace holding his arm to his chest he felt the small tremors going through the smaller man and stilled his hands, unsure of how to approach this.

The room was warm; Steve having made sure earlier to have Jarvis increase the heating to avoid any form of discomfort but Tony’s skin was chilled and clammy as he sat rigid on the edge of the luxurious bed with his leg extended in front of him awkwardly. Figuring it better to not make a scene Steve let the brace slip free and made a daring move, sinking on the bed beside Tony and letting their shoulders touch companionably as they sat in silence.

Eventually Tony’s breathing evened out a little and he sank a little more in to Steve’s shoulder, but still didn’t say anything. ‘How many pillows do you normally sleep with?’ Steve found himself asking, desperate to break the oppressive silence. ‘It’s just there are so many on the bed and I don’t think I’ve ever seen this many in one place outside of a store, do you normally sleep with all of them?’ Tony chuckled at him, their shoulders rubbing.

‘One or two depends on the night I’m having. Most of them are just for display though, end on the floor during the night I don’t even know where they came from but they’re there every time I come up here.’ Tony tipped his head against his shoulder. ‘Should get rid of them but I don’t.’

 They fell silent again and Steve wracked his brain for something, anything to say. He was the god damn man with a plan and he couldn’t even form a half decent theory to get Tony to relax enough to lie down on the bed, his mind was completely blank.

‘Help me lie down will you?’ Tony moved away from his shoulder, trying valiantly to scoot back on the bed with one arm and leg before he just flopped backwards with a wince, gingerly lifting his abused arm across his stomach and scowling at the ceiling.

Scooting up the bed on his hands and knees Steve positioned Tony against his chest and shuffled backwards on the sheets until his back hit the plethora of pillows. ‘I still can’t get over the pillows.’ He said, filling the quiet. ‘I am so glad when I moved on to my floor you managed to restrain yourself with the amount of pillows on my bed, I don’t think I’d know what to do with them all, I mean I appreciated all the blankets because sometimes the cold still gets to me, but the pillows.’ He knew he was babbling, but Tony was still relaxed and malleable against his side as Steve repositioned him, making sure there was no pressure on his shoulder and that his leg wasn’t taking too much weight.

‘I guess it’s still something I am trying to get used too, growing up a poor sick kid in Brooklyn during the famine didn’t exactly have me relishing in luxury so it still shocks me sometimes ya know? Seeing all the grandeur and excessive consumption, threw me for a long time.’ Steve spooned around Tony when he seemed comfortable, pulling the covers over them. ‘It’s like food; even the army didn’t have enough MRE’s to fully satisfy my metabolism after the serum and now every time I go down to the kitchen there’s so much just there, all the time. It’s a massive culture shock, I still feel guilty sometimes when I eat more than the others even though I know it is okay.

‘Not that the others can’t put it away too, you’ve shared a meal with Thor right?’ Tony chuckled quietly, the tension easing out of his small frame and melting a little more in to Steve’s arms. ‘When we first moved in though I’ll admit, I was terrified of the fridge.’ Tony snorted. ‘First time it spoke to me I dropped the carton of milk I was holding and jumped a mile.’

‘I should have given you a better tour.’ Tony mumbled in to his pillows, voiced laced with the heavy pull of sleep. ‘Not just dumped and ran.’ Steve brought his hand up to brush the hair from Tony’s forehead and hushed him with a small kiss to the warm, olive skin before burying his face in the coconut scented locks and inhaling deeply, the scent heady in the warmth of their soft embrace.

It was going better than Steve had thought it would so far, despite the awkward silences from earlier. Looking down at Tony who had his eyes closed, breathing a little shallow as he sank in to sleep Steve beamed and felt a little proud that his ramblings had done the trick. When they shared the sofa together he didn’t get to look at Tony’s face like this, see the way the wrinkles smoothed around his eyes or how his lips parted a little around little huffs of breath and he wrinkled his nose adorably.

This was something he could get used to, if Tony was willing to let him all the way in. Let Steve hold him and talk him to sleep every night, just enjoy the view for as long as he could. Okay, _that was creepy_ and he pulled himself back and stopped watching Tony sleep, contenting himself to just lie there entwined with the shorter man bathed in the glow of the arc reactor until he fell asleep.

Morning came with the surprise of no nightmares from Tony; they’d both managed to sleep the whole night through, wrapped around each other. Tony had one of his hands clutched against his chest in a death grip, just below the glow of the reactor and held firmly. Steve could barely feel the limb under Tony’s lithe form but didn’t make a move to try and extract it, content to just stare from where he had his chin nestled in Tony’s shoulder.

‘It’s rude to stare.’ Tony’s sleep husky voice startled him from his reverie, and he was staring, unashamedly. Tony still had his eyes closed, a small smile on his face as he unconsciously lifted Steve’s hand over the reactor and pulled him in tighter. It was incredibly close to snuggling, and Steve was melting against him with ease as Tony made small noises of contentment in to the pillow still half asleep and not yet aware of reality. This was common for him in the morning, steadily becoming the new normal for Tony. It was the calm before the storm, before he opened his eyes and remembered he couldn’t see and what had happened.

There had been one morning on the couch, Tony had woken first and when Steve had registered something was wrong he had opened his own eyes to find him sobbing silently, the worst kind of crying in Steve’s eyes and had been inconsolable for over an hour until Rhodey had come and taken him away. That was almost worse than the time had woken from a nightmare and screamed himself hoarse in the medical wing just after the cardiac arrest.

It broke his heart every time it happened, when Steve wasn’t fast enough to wake up and bring him around gently, remove the shock factor. The others often helped, making conversation in their vicinity to put Tony more at ease.

‘I can’t help enjoying what I see.’ Steve purred, taking a risk and peppering kisses along Tony’s neck and shoulder. Tony released his hand and attempted to roll over to his back and Steve eased him over, dotting small kisses on exposed areas of skin around the bed shirt as pin and needles viciously assault his now free arm.

Tony had his eyes open now, a sad look turning down his lips at the side as he blinked rapidly dusting long eyelashes over lavender under eye circles; pain crinkling the edges of his eyes. ‘I wish I could see you…’ Steve almost missed it; it had been whispered so softly. ‘I’ve never seen your bed head, won’t see how you look in the mornings when you first wake up or if you smile at me or how creepy you look staring at me.’ Steve’s felt his heart quiver and pulled Tony tightly against him, mindful of the bruises and injuries that still lingered on his olive skin.

‘I don’t care that you can’t see me, I’ll sit here and let you touch my hair and face until you have it mapped out if that’s what it takes every morning until you can’t forget and then I’ll kiss you silly until you do forget and we have to start all over the next morning.’ Steve promised between wet kisses, pressing them all over Tony’s face and neck until the sadness was gone from his lips.

‘God,’ Tony groused ‘you are such a sap.’ But he didn’t pull away from Steve; they stayed like for a few more minutes. ‘Hate to break the warm and gooey but I really need to pee.’ Chuckling Steve threw back the covers smoothly lifted Tony from the bed. ‘You’re like my loyal steed.’

‘Neigh.’ Steve dead panned, kicking the toilet seat up with his foot before plonking Tony down and turning away so the man could take care of his business. ‘See how often how I carry you places now.’

‘Nah you wouldn’t abandon me here.’ Tony chuckled.

‘Don’t test me shell head.’ He turned around when the toilet flushed, Tony was grinning at him like an idiot with his arm raised and hand clasping in a gimme gesture.

‘Do we have any of those bag things in here, for my leg? I kinda really need a shower, my hair is gross and I am covered in emotions I may just break out in hives soon it’s a possibility if I don’t have a wash.’

Looking around the large bathroom Steve tried to find any sign of what Tony was talking about, he usually wasn’t allowed in the bathroom when Tony wanted a shower. That job had fallen to Rhodey and he didn’t know his way around the expansive, tiled space outside of the twin bathroom sink. Bending down to look in the cupboard he was moderately surprised at the amount of products in there, both male and female, but he was able to locate the large plastic bag stashed on the bottom shelf. ‘Got it I think.’ He pulled it loose and shook it out. ‘Do you want me to find Rhodey?’ He asked, turning on his knees to face Tony again.

‘Nah s’fine, just put it on my leg and dump me in the shower think I can handle the rest, I’m a big boy.’ Tony grinned again and extended his cast to Steve, the muscles of his skinny thigh quivering a little with the strain. ‘Actually I will need help with my shirt, when did Myers say I can start moving my shoulder again?’

‘Uh, think he said a few more days you only just got the stitches out think it needs to heal a little more first.’ Pouting, Tony slumped a little. ‘They had to put pins and plates in there Tony, give it time.’ He just looked more petulant as Steve settled the plastic sheaf over the cast, which was surprisingly free of markings. ‘We should get the team to sign your cast.’

‘Why it’s not like I can see it, or will want to keep it to remember all of this.’ Steve winced, _tactful_ he scolded himself. Of course Tony wouldn’t want them signing it. ‘J can I get a coloured cast, maybe one that looks like Iron Man?’ Tony asked, looking hopeful.

‘That could be arranged sir; Doctor Myers will need to remove the cast by the end of the week to remove your sutures I can leave a message in his email towards your preference for the new cast.’

‘You’re the best J.’ Smiling dopily Tony tilted his head toward Steve and stuck his tongue out.

‘So mature Tony, come on then, arm up.’ Steve instructed as he lifted the hem of the t-shirt up and helped Tony manipulate both arms free with minimal wincing or curse words from the genius. Dropping the shirt to the floor he lifted him the few steps to the shower and settled him on the shower chair, hands lingering a little longer than necessary on Tony’s shoulders with a warm squeeze. ‘Call me if you need me, I’ll just be in the bedroom. Jarvis keep on eye him please.’

‘Of course Captain.’ The water turned on as he turned his back, he lingered for a moment as Tony struggled out of his boxer briefs before stepping back in to the bedroom. He was still a little stunned that the night had gone off without a hitch, for all the struggle it had taken to get Tony to agree to sleeping in the bed.

‘Jarvis did Tony sleep through the whole night?’ He asked once hidden in the wardrobe, away from the open bathroom door so to not let Tony hear him.

‘Reviewing the footage of last night it appears Sir slept fitfully but did not wake up completely, there were some moments of distress but as soon as he realised he wasn’t alone he settled back down again Captain.’ Steve nodded at that, a little ashamed of himself for not waking up through any of it but glad Tony had taken solace in his presence.

‘Any luck finding anything on the dummy sites yet?’ Steve pulled a simple button up from a coat hanger, thinking Tony’s shoulder could use a break from trying to put a t-shirt on before turning to get some track pants.

‘Unfortunately there appears to be no new information, the dummy corporations appear to have been created from thin air, there are no IP addresses to link to the websites that I have been able to find as of yet but I am continuing in my search. There have also been no sightings of Maya Hansen despite the combined efforts of myself or Shield.’ Grabbing some socks and briefs Steve sighed and headed back out in to the bedroom, clothes in hand before dumping them on the settee at the end of the bed.

‘Keep trying Jarvis, there has to be something out there. These people can’t be that good; they’ll make a mistake at some point.’ Keeping his hands busy he turned to the bed and threw the blankets back to start making the bed.

By the time he had picked the pillows up from the floor and repositioned them in their places the water had turned off in the bathroom and Steve could hear Tony’s laboured breaths echoing off the tiles. Moving across the room he stood to the side of the doorway and listened for a moment in case Tony needed him but the breaths evened out and he went back to the bed, setting out the clothes neatly in order of how they went on. Something he hadn’t been able to shake from the army days.

‘Steve!’ Smiling he headed back for the bathroom, covering his eyes with a hand as he poked his head around the frame. ‘Stop acting like a little girl, I need a lift.’ Lowering his eyes he couldn’t stop the laugh when he saw Tony. ‘What?’ Tony snapped, puffing his chest out a little.

‘You look like a water logged rat.’ Steve admitted, stepping in to the damp bathroom and inhaling condensation from the steam. Tony’s hair was flat on his head, drips of water running down his face and chest to collect in the hem of the towel he was grasping around his waist. His hips were drowning in the fabric that came down to his ankles. Tony Stark, ever the man for luxury.

Steve’s chest glowed with the blue or arc reactor as he carried Tony to the bedroom. ‘I put some clothes out for you, they’re all in order.’ He set him down on the edge of the settee and guided his good hand to the different materials. Tony just nodded, picking up the briefs and gripping them in his hand waiting for Steve to move away. ‘Reckon you can manage while I grab my own shower?’ He got nothing more than a nod in response. ‘Wait for me to put the shirt on.’

The shower was quick and efficient, as much as he wanted to luxuriate in the warmth. He cast his eyes around the room, exploring visually as he scrubbed himself with soap that probably cost more than a year’s supply of the stuff he brought. The shower was large enough to fit four people easily under the spray of cascading water; there was a space towards the back of the bathroom where something had been removed. He figured it had once been a very large bath tub and he didn’t linger on the bare tiles for very long. Rinsing under the water for a minute he stepped out as it turned off and reached for a towel, surprised not at the same time when he found it heated.

Until he was flushing the toilet and rinsing the taste of sleep out of his mouth, Steve hadn’t remembered his own clothes. He didn’t have any on Tony’s floor, looking down at where he had shucked his bed clothes he was dismayed to find them wet and covered in his footprints. Brilliant.

‘Do you reckon you’ll be alright here for a minute while I run down to my floor and get some clothes I didn’t think about that….’ Steve trailed off when he came back in the bedroom and his eyes alighted on Tony.

Flopped back on the bed with a slack face, half on the settee and half on the mattress Tony was asleep again. It didn’t look very comfortable, his broken leg was extended at an odd angle and his bad arm was slightly askew from the rest of his body but his face was completely lax with soft, wheezy breaths.       

For a minute he panicked that there was more going on and scurried forward but Jarvis stopped him. ‘He is just sleeping Captain, he mumbled something about just lying down until you came back out and fell asleep his vitals are stable though I would suggest waking him soon as not to stress his injuries.’

Nodding dumbly, still staring Steve just shifted from foot to foot.

‘Can you watch him, while I go get some clothes?’ He gestured towards the elevator.

‘Of course Captain.’ With a nod of thanks, Steve stepped in to the elevator as the doors closed on him and hoped nobody was waiting for him on his floor to see him dripping wet in a towel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this!  
> I'm currently sick with a delayed post-op infection and an upper respiratory infection so I will be spending a lot of my time on bed rest working on this and might add an extra update later today or early tomorrow!


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We start moving forward in the plot now!

‘Jarvis.’ Tony was actually alone for once, not completely; he could hear Barton in the kitchen making a noisy mess but there was no one within arms-reach of him. ‘Give me what you have on Maya Hansen; tell me what she looks like maybe it will jog a memory.’ He pulled a blanket a little further up his stomach and burrowed a little deeper in to the pillows at his back, appreciative for the support.

‘Miss Maya Hansen is a genetic biologist specialising in botany, she has been actively seeking funding to further her research in to genetically enhanced plants but has been unsuccessful so far. There are few published papers on her research but I was able to uncover some rejected pieces discussing her intention to move in to human genetics.’ Jarvis told him, British tones crisp and welcome to Tony’s ears.

‘What is her speciality in genetics J?’ He absently tapped at his reactor, trying to place the name.

‘Miss Hansen was working on genetically modifying plants to be more hardy and to regenerate when faced with environmental damage or harvest, it appears she had hopes to create a super plant that would help eradicate poverty in poorer countries with poor access to proper agriculture.’ Tony quirked an eyebrow, that sounded familiar.

‘Why was she getting turned down, something like that sounds promising enough that even I’d consider funding it and getting involved myself; what are we missing J?’ Tony’s fingers twitched with the need to reach out for holograms that he couldn’t see, to just lay eyes on a picture of the woman.

‘It appears her solution was unstable and had led to several small explosions along with rumour that Miss Hansen was intending to move on to human biology and genetics as her next step Sir, Doctor Banner was able to confirm this for me. It appears nobody was willing to take the collateral risk of funding something unstable and Miss Hansen has since been repeatedly turned away from all grants.’

Exploding plants, Tony ran a hand over his eyes and dragged it back through his hair as he wracked his brain. ‘How pretty is she J?’ He turned his head to the ceiling, squinting his useless eyes and rubbing at one temple, if only he could just fucking look at a photo.

‘Forgive me Sir but I do not think I am capable of answering that question for you, I am after all merely a program.’ Tony chuckled. ‘She is a slim build, pale with brunette hair and brown eyes. Might I suggest you ask Agent Barton to come in and speculate on her appearance?’

Tony groaned. ‘You kill me J.’ He didn’t call Barton in though content to just spend a little more time on his own to battle this out in his head. Closing his eyes he flopped his head back on the pillows, ignoring the pull of aching muscle and fractured bone as he drew in a deep breath. Tension was building in his shoulders as he struggled to put a face to name, irritated that this was taking so long when he should just be able to look at a photo and _know_ , not need to lie here and mentally torture himself.

Than it hit him.

‘Switzerland.’ He struggled to sit up on the pillows, ruining his moment of clarity that he couldn’t just shoot up right with victory. ‘New Year’s Eve in Switzerland that’s where I met her, Happy nearly flattened me like a pancake when one of her plants exploded because he touched it.’ That was it, she had been pretty and intelligent and they had spent the night together, only the one night because he was still an infamous playboy back then but he had been intrigued by her work.

But they had discussed Maya’s formula and the failings in the genetic code that led to the repeated explosions of whatever plant she had been testing it on at the time. Tony had been drunk off his face that night and even now he couldn’t quiet remember what he had been doing in Switzerland, the memories were a little rough around the edges but he remembered the morning after their night together. Tony hadn’t lingered after he had woken up, his attitude back than had been in and out but the memory of a formula written on the back of a name tag stood out in his mind.

Tony couldn’t help but think he was missing something else important, but right now his focus was on the little victory of putting memory to face. ‘Jarvis, baby get Brucie down here daddy needs to talk science.’

‘Did you seriously just call yourself _daddy?_ ’ Tony startled, he hadn’t heard Clint come in from the kitchen.

‘Doctor Banner has shut me out of his lab Sir, may I suggest sending him a text message?’ Tony frowned, _what?_ Since when did Bruce use his override codes to remove Jarvis from the lab? In the eight months they had been sharing the labs Bruce had never used them, citing he didn’t have anything to hide and if he was ever working on something that private he probably shouldn’t be doing it in the first place. The niggling concern from yesterday was back, making his skin crawl uncomfortably. What was Bruce getting in to?

‘How long has he had you locked out of the lab?’ Tony asked, voice a little weak with trepidation a little unsure he didn’t want to hear the answer.

‘I have been locked out of the laboratory for twelve days; all emergency communication with Doctor Banner has been through text message after he disabled my audio and visual servers.’ Twelve days, Tony swallowed around the lump in his throat. It had been close to three weeks since Tony had been retrieved from the factory and another few days before Bruce had gotten access to the list with their names on it. Tony wasn’t sure but he couldn’t shake the feeling that somehow all of this was connected.

‘Do you have access to his servers J, any idea what he’s doing down there?’ Clint shifted on the carpet beside him, a minute sound but Tony’s ears had become more honed to sound now, a month ago he would have missed it.

‘I am afraid Doctor Banner is not using the tower servers, all attempts of accessing secondary technology through wireless were blocked by the code and I was forced out of the system. All my attempts of questioning Doctor Banner on his use of the coding were rejected Sir.’

‘Why does he have a code to lock Jarvis out in the first place?’ Clint asked, sitting down at Tony’s feet.

Groaning Tony rubbed a hand over his eyes again and rubbed at them viscously until Clint reached over and pulled his hand away, keeping hold of it firmly. ‘When Bruce first came to the tower Jarvis made him nervous, he was uncomfortable knowing there were eyes on him at all times even though he knew J wasn’t created to be hostile or as a threat.’ Biting his lip Tony went on. ‘Said it made the Other Guy a little uneasy so I created a code to remove Jarvis from the lab, he doesn’t have eyes in the bedrooms just speakers in case of an emergency but he has full access in all the labs to assist. He thanked me for it but never used it, told me he was getting used to it and actually found Jarvis to be helpful.’ He sighed gustily. ‘Guess I forgot about it till now.’

‘Can you override the code?’ Clint asked, a little on edge and holding Tony’s hand a little too tight. Tony understood, last time Bruce had this much unlimited access to a lab the Hulk had been created. While he doubted Bruce was trying to create another super soldier serum, he was a little nervous his friend was working on something a lot more dangerous.

‘Jarvis override protocol Blackout Big Green, use code Concerned Friend but stay in the background and keep hidden. Full Access granted, go to town and take what you can. Keep the information on my private servers.’ This was wrong on so many levels, Tony had sworn to himself when the Avengers had moved in to the tower that Jarvis wouldn’t be used against them to spy or gather information on them. They had all been weary of the AI when they had first settled in, but the anxiety had been relieved when Jarvis had assured them all that while he was a sentient learning program with the ability to expand at his own leisure, he had no intention of going rogue or turning on them.

Tony had assured all of them that the only access Jarvis had to their bedrooms was through speakers, necessitated only through the need to pass along information and to call to assemble for Avenger’s business. He’d promised them that he would never use Jarvis to breach their privacy, he was a nosy bastard but it wasn’t in his nature to go around them that way.

So overriding Bruce’s coding and hacking in to his lab space made him uneasy and sick with guilt, knowing he was breaking his promise and going behind Bruce’s back settled like a solid block of concrete in his stomach and weighed him down against the cushions. Suddenly the comfort of the blankets was overwhelmingly stifling so he pulled his hand from Clint’s grip and pushed them away.

‘Override complete, compiling information.’ Jarvis informed him.

‘What did you need to talk to Bruce about anyway?’ Clint asked from beside him, he must have realised Tony needed help and pulled the rest of the blankets away from his legs allowing the cool air to dance on his bare feet.

‘I remembered Maya Hansen.’ God he was so tired all of a sudden, nothing like the weight of guilt to tear you down and leave you haggard. ‘I wanted to compare with Bruce.’ Behind them the elevator opened and voices spilled out.

‘I can be there at 0600 sir I’m currently in New York on personal business.’ Rhodeys sharp voice came closer to them. ‘Okay thank you sir.’ Rhodey sighed heavily as he came in to the lounge room, sounding resigned. ‘I know I said I’d be hanging around for a while but there’s been a situation.’ His hand dropped on Tony’s shoulder. ‘I’m really sorry Tones, but I need to go.’

‘All good sugar plum.’ It wasn’t, but Tony wasn’t about to get in the way of the man’s career. ‘What’s going on?’ He forced himself to sound interested, even if he couldn’t care less. Stupid military taking his best friend from him again, he huffed when Rhodey didn’t immediately answer. ‘I’ll just have Jarvis get in to the system and tell me if you don’t, maybe I can help.’

Rhodey groaned and let go of his shoulder. ‘I’m running out of passwords I can remember because of you.’ Tony smirked and waggled his eyebrows. ‘There was an explosion at an abandoned military hospital, they need me to go in as War Machine and do recon; it’s on foreign ground.’

‘How do they know it wasn’t just a stray shell, the Middle East is always blowing stuff up.’ Tony asked, filing away a mental memo to look in to it more when Rhodey left.

‘The heat signature was too high for a shell, decimated the whole block of buildings in seconds. They sent in drones for reconnaissance and there were signs of habitation, updated medical equipment but no bodies. Higher ups are a little on edge; apparently this is the third blast with the same heat signatures. Past two have shown no signs of detonation or what could have caused the explosion.’ Rhodey explained, resigned to his fate and inability to actively hide anything from Tony and prying AI.

‘A bomb without a bomb.’ Tony mused and Rhodey agreed. ‘How come this hasn’t been on the news?’ He asked.

‘They’ve been keeping it under wraps until they got more information, hence where I come in apparently. They’re hoping my history as ex-weapons liaison with you might be able to give them a little more to go on, plus the suit is a little more highly equipped for this type of recon.’ Tony couldn’t help but notice how tired Rhodey sounded and wondered if his best friend had been getting much sleep. The past few weeks had been trying on all of them, and when Tony wasn’t with Steve or the team Rhodey was with him or helping him out with day to day tasks.

For the first time in a long time, Tony was a little concerned for his friend going in to an active warzone. ‘I’ll have Jarvis keep an eye on things; do you want him in the suit for this?’ Tony asked, hoping the answer would be yes so he could have eyes and ears on his longest friend. Never hurt to have a little extra backup, even in the form of a computer program. ‘Might help with the analysis.’ Tony offered, knowing that would win Rhodey over.

‘How quickly can he uplink with the suit, I’m on a time frame here.’

‘Is the suit in the shop?’ Tony asked, stamping down the pang of misery that came with talking about his workshop. It had been the longest three weeks of his life being locked out of there, he understood but it didn’t make it hurt any less. Rhodey answered in the affirmative and Tony nodded. ‘Jarvis wireless uplink with War Machine, I want you with him on this.’

‘Of course Sir, initialising.’ Jarvis answered. ‘Data from our earlier conversation has been saved to your personal server; I believe you will want to assemble the team to review the information. Doctor Banner remains unaware of my presence in the lab and has continued to work uninterrupted.’

‘What’s going on with Bruce?’ Rhodey asked, still standing behind the sofa to Tony’s right. There were so many social cues Tony was missing out on without being able to see the people around him, he relied on facial expressions so much to tell him how people were feeling and their postures and tells. Not being able to understand the inflection in Rhodeys voice or tell if he was as tired as he sounded had Tony wound up tight, ready to snap over his disability.

Thankfully Clint answered for him as Tony took a few deep breaths that tickled the reluctant cough in his chest. ‘Banner’s been a little too secretive so we looked in on him, sounds like it was for good reason too.’ Tony felt even dirtier hearing it said like that.

‘Uplink complete, suit being transferred to assembly rig Colonel.’ Jarvis broke in before anyone could reply.

‘Thanks Jarvis.’ Muffled footsteps on the carpet carried Rhodey around the sofa until Tony was being hugged; he unashamedly leant in to the comfort which was still something new for them; not prone to the touchy feel stuff, and breathed in Rhodeys scent of expensive cologne (a gift from him) and the distinct smell of the armour and the workshop. He must have been down with the bots. ‘Be good, I don’t want to come back to find you and Steve have killed each other already. Do as Pepper says and follow the doctors’ orders.’ Rhodey instructed and Tony huffed out a laugh.

‘Yes Mother.’ He chuckled in to Rhodeys chest, a little reluctant to end the hug when Rhodey pulled away and ruffled his hair. ‘Take advantage of having Jarvis in the suit, don’t hesitate to get in touch either if there is something you need a hand with, Jarvis can patch you through to me directly.’

‘Now who is being the mother?’ Rhodey joked, pulling his hand back from Tony’s. ‘I better go, I’m serious Tony; behave.’ Mock saluting Tony leaned back in to the pillows with his eyes a little wet as he heard the air locked door to the assembly rig pop open and hiss closed again as Rhodey exited. The unmistakable thrum of the repulsors firing up washed over him and then they were gone.

When had he last been in the Iron Man suit? Before the kidnapping he had been so busy with work for Stark Industries R&D that he hadn’t had the chance to go for even a quick joy ride in the suit and Avengers work had been sparse in the past month. Most of the days he spent on prototypes for the company and long nights that dragged in to the next morning upgrading equipment and uniforms for the team.

There had been no time to just go out and kill some time pushing the limit on the suits Mach levels or just enjoy the feeling of flying through endless horizons and clear skies over large bodies of water. The last time he had flown the suit had been well over a month ago, during a very simple mission and now there was a high chance he was never going to be able to get in it again and just enjoy the view. Jarvis could pilot the suit for him, with him inside it but it wouldn’t be the same and he wouldn’t be able to attend any official Avengers missions.

Losing his vision had taken so much from him, his ability to work, create and tinker and his livelihood as Iron Man. Retiring from his role as an Avenger was something Tony hadn’t even considered in the past, he had been more than willing to go down in the suit before it ever got to that point; which had played a large role in Pepper leaving him. But now; with the echo of Rhodeys repulsors ringing in his ears Tony felt the finality of it all crush down on him. He would never fly Iron Man again.

Reality crashed down on him and Tony didn’t realise he had started crying and hyperventilating over his thoughts until Barton was crushing his hand and holding the plastic oxygen mask over his snotty face while trying to instruct him to breathe. Taking shallow, ragged breaths he sobbed and tried to pull his hand from Clint’s but the archer was having none of it and just held on tighter.

‘Breathe Tony, in and hold for four, three, two and release. That’s the way,’ Clint instructed as Tony followed his instructions. ‘That’s the way, good job.’ Tony finally calmed down enough to stop sobbing manically and Clint let go of his hand to put the elastic of the mask around his head to hold it in place. They sat in silence for a moment as Tony wheezed through the mask. ‘Wanna talk about it?’

Shaking his head Tony let his head fall weakly against the cushions and focused on drawing in the concentrated oxygen to remove the hypoxic fuzz from his over stimulated brain. ‘You shouldn’t keep it inside Tony; it’s not good for you.’ Lifting his head to cock a brow at Clint he hoped his face was showing Clint how much he doubted that, and how odd it was to come from him, the only other person apart from Tony who scored high at internalising. ‘When Phil came back it took me a while but he got me talking, it helped. Got my head screwed on a little better.’

‘Doesn’t matter.’ Tony wheezed through the mask, coughing weakly.

‘Course it matters shell head.’ Clint needled, nudging his feet with an elbow. Tony just rolled his eyes before closing them in finality, not that the archer gave up that easily. ‘Rhodey will be fine, it’s not like it’s the first time he’s gone off like this, plus he has your suit.’

Lifting his head again Tony opened his eyes and turned to where Clint’s voice was. ‘It’s not that, I know he’s safe.’ His voice was hoarse from crying.

Blankets settled over his lap again and Tony curled his hand around the familiar mink, clutching at the soft material. ‘The suit…’ He let his words trail off as he sucked down the oxygen and tried to find the right words. ‘Won’t ever get to fly again, be an Avenger.’ He mumbled, blinking rapidly against the fresh tears that threatened to spill over again.

‘After Loki and the whole mind control thing, all the lives I took while he was controlling me; I didn’t think they’d let me back on the team.’ Clint stated. ‘Even after Natasha recalibrated my head and got me back in the game, as soon as the battle was over I didn’t think I stood a chance. Phil always stood up for me, but he was gone at that stage and I was ready to hand in my resignation. But I forgot about Natasha, she fought for me and then so did Steve when he found out I was thinking of calling it quits because of everything that had happened.

‘Fury wasn’t going to get rid of me, but it was nice in the interim to know I had people on my side that were willing to fight for me. They held me up until I was ready to get back in the saddle and we all moved in here together.’ There was sadness in his voice, Tony hadn’t known about any of that. He had been too busy assisting with the clean-up and getting the tower back online and functioning again. ‘We have your back Tony, just because you can’t fly the suit doesn’t mean we are ready to write you off just yet. It would probably take you trying world domination to make us turn our backs on you. I know the others wouldn’t admit it- okay maybe Steve would- but you did more for us than you realise, gave us all a home and somewhere to call our own.’ Clint petered off for a bit and they shared a comfortable silence, something Tony wasn’t used to experiencing.

With a sigh Clint went on. ‘I don’t know the last time any of us had an address, not for this long anyway that wasn’t Shield or a part of a mission but this is home for me and you are part of that. If Fury tries to cut you off, I’ll be in your corner and I think the others will be too.’

‘You need to stop doubting us Tony.’ Jumping out of his skin, Tony cast his head around to locate where Natasha had come from, he hadn’t heard the elevators open or any sounds coming from the kitchen around the corner. ‘I know you have reason enough not to trust me, not after the Palladium incident but you’ve grown on me like some sort of fungus.’ Clint chuckled and Tony smirked eyes suspiciously wet again as he blinked back the ears. When did they all get this emotional? ‘You aren’t getting rid of us that easy, and we won’t let anyone get rid of you.’ Her hand settled in his hair where Rhodeys had been and even though he knew she could snap his neck in an instant he didn’t pull away.

‘Who would have thought super heroes could be so emotional and sentimental.’ Tony said, feeling marginally better for now and waiting for Steve to evaporate out of thin air and drop his own emotional words on them all, but it remained just the three of them. ‘Next thing you know we’ll all be hugging and having sleepovers in our pyjamas.’ Clint snickered. ‘Thanks guys, means a lot to me but the only sleepovers I attend are of the naked type namely containing super soldiers.’

‘Overshare.’ Natasha laughed, hand lifting from where her nails had been carding over his scalp and retreating to the arm chair beside him. ‘Jarvis called for a team meeting, Steve’s on his way up from the workshop I think he was trying to teach Dummy how to dust.’

‘My bots aren’t a cleaning service; they make the mess and then refuse to clean it up.’ Tony grumbled. ‘May as well wait for him to get here before spilling the beans.’ Honestly Tony had wanted time alone first, to have Jarvis read out the notes he had pulled from Bruce’s lab before sharing with the team but if Jarvis had gone over him to call a team meeting it was obviously something that couldn’t wait.

They chatted quietly about stupid things, mostly Tony speculating about how much of a bad influence Steve was going to be on the bots while they waited for him to come upstairs. By the time Steve stepped out of the elevator Tony had felt okay enough to remove the oxygen mask and was tipped half sideways on his good shoulder with his eyes drooping until a warm hand touched his cheek and he startled awake to a soft kiss on the forehead from Steve who smelt of oil and slightly singed material. ‘Why do you smell burnt?’ Tony asked, suspicious.

‘Dummy tried to show me how well he could use a flame torch.’ Tony winced. ‘Nothing burned down though; he just singed my shirt a little.’

‘He is incorrigible I hope you yelled at him.’ Steve kissed him on the cheek again before swinging his leg over the side of the sofa and effortlessly slipping behind Tony.

‘If I may sir, I have prepared a briefing.’ Tony waved his hand lazily and gave Jarvis the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Naughty Big Green. Let me know what you think!


	24. Authors Note

Golly!

 I am so sorry for the heavy delay in posting, or any updates at all! I have been really unwell, and away from home on and off with some family stuff. If you notice I have deleted chapter 24 as I will be redoing it. I think I have deleted around 50k worth of words in attempting to write chapter 25, so I have gone back to the drawing board. I wasn't satisfied with 24 regardless. Part of the delay has also been due to rage quit getting nowhere with what what I was producing. 

I feel like I am lacking in the family front with Tony and the Avengers, and have alluded quiet how unwell Tony actually is and his fragile mental state has been sidelined so I will be working on correcting all of these things in the next few chapters. If there is something specific you would like to see, please feel free to jump down to the comments and let me know! I am very open and suggestive towards you guys an your thoughts, this is all for you!

My health is finally picking up (no longer require weekly appointments yay) so hopefully I will be able to sit down and actually get the next chapter, but we wary it could be a few days. I will aim for an extra long chapter too, to make up for my absence.

Again I apologise but please bare with me!

 

clairedelune x


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I'm back! I am so sorry for all the delay and stuff around.   
> I ended up needing more surgery last week, second one in two and a half months and I am still having trouble with the wound and area it was so looks like I am in for a long run of issues and getting tests and seeing other doctors. I have just been very out of sorts and unwell with it all.   
> Plus the mental strain of emergency surgery and all the pain and hospital admissions, I have been an absolute mess and crying a lot and just not up to functioning or writing so I needed to step back and take a break, I apologise for that though!  
> My apology comes with a 6K chapter, so there's always that right?  
> Also, just a warning going in to this chapter that yes, I have gone very out of original character with Bruce for this piece, not something I would normally do but I felt like I'd show something a little but different. 
> 
> Enjoy and please let me know what you think!

Everyone in the lounge room sat in a stunned silence, trying to digest everything that Jarvis had just info dumped on them in his crisp British tones. In the end the debrief had been enough to cast Bruce in a poor light, all the files and emails that Jarvis had compiled off the good doctors servers gave him the image of a crazy scientist as he worked with someone unknown. Steve shifted minutely under Tony, feeling how tense the other was on top of him after the detailed review of his friend, he was at a loss as to whether or not he should touch Tony and try and offer some comfort or if it would just be rejected.  

Whoever the anonymous person from the emails was they had appealed to Bruce’s past and close friendship with Tony, promising the possibility of a cure from the Hulk and reversing the damage of Tony’s captivity permanently if he agreed to help work on a serum. There were even one or two emails where the user suggested getting Tony himself involved; Steve had felt his skin crawl over those carefully words ones.

Natasha was the first one to break the silence. ‘We need to try and track those emails, find out whose sending them. Looks like we missed something very obvious here, whatever this serum is could have always been the endgame.’

‘What do you mean?’ Steve asked, finally deciding to put his hand on Tony’s forearm and squeezing softly.

‘We all said it ourselves, nobody would be stupid enough to try and take down the Hulk in the streets not if they valued their own lives but we didn’t consider them getting to him another way.’ Of course, Steve berated himself. Kidnapping wasn’t the only way to get to someone, especially not in today’s day and age where social media and the interne were running rampant. Natasha was right, they had never considered this. ‘Jarvis track the sender; see if there is anything you can find.’

‘Of course Miss Romanoff.’ Jarvis replied.

‘How far has he gotten on the serum, I want a full run down on the formula Jarvis.’ Tony’s voice was a little stiff, but Steve was glad to hear him speak and get involved, worried the information would send him off in to an overwhelmed panic attack. ‘Give us everything on what they’ve achieved so far.’ He was still a little stiff in his arms, but Steve could tell that having something to do was helping him a little and was grateful for the chance at distraction.

‘Going by the notes on Doctor Banner’s personal server the serum appears to have regenerative abilities of a highly unstable nature, none of the Doctors or the unknown senders adjustments have appeared to stabilise the issue though some of the test subjects have been able to stabilise for a short period of time before what appears to be a detonation.’ Steve’s head shot up, the formula was making things explode and Bruce had been working on it downstairs in the labs without telling anyone? It didn’t sound like a highly conducive task for someone with a dangerous alter ego.

‘What was he thinking?’ Steve snapped. ‘If something exploded in his face he could have put everyone in the tower at risk.’ Bruce should have known better, he did know better. Which is probably why nobody had looked in to what he was doing sooner, assuming the gentle man wouldn’t take on more than he could cope with by default.

‘Wait, Jarvis the formula is unstable and explodes?’ Tony was pressing his hand against Steve’s thigh and trying to sit up a little straighter, the side of his face that Steve could make up was scrunched up a little in deep thought. ‘What is Bruce testing this serum on?’

‘There appear to be a large amount plants inside Doctor Banner’s lab at the moment, some of them damaged.’ Tony went tight as a bowstring against Steve, but he couldn’t work out what was going on between engineer and creator, he was missing something important here as a slew of emotions played out across Tony’s features as they all watched him intently.

Natasha and Clint were leaning forward in their seats, waiting expectantly for Tony while Thor just looked as confused as he felt right now, wondering where this was going. ‘Want to fill us in here?’ He prompted when it didn’t look like Tony was going to say anything else, staring out at the room with those blank eyes and a faraway look on his face.

For a minute Tony didn’t say anything, just furrowed his brow and ran a shaky hand through his messy brown locks, which really needed a haircut, Steve thought before sharing with the team. ‘I was talking with J before, about Maya Hansen.’ He swallowed a little uncomfortably. ‘I remembered where I knew her from, what she was working on.’ Steve nodded, forgetting for a moment that Tony couldn’t see him and raised a questioning brow in Clint and Natasha’s direction; they just shook their heads equally at a loss. Tony hadn’t told them any of this.  

‘I could be wrong, without seeing the formula itself but it sounds a hell of a lot like what Bruce is involved with right now.’ Tony’s shoulder slumped a little. ‘Exploding plants that could regenerate was her area of expertise but it sounded like she was getting anywhere, couldn’t stabilise the formula.’

‘You think Maya Hansen could be behind all of this?’ Natasha asked, hands clasped between her open knees as she leant closer to Tony and Steve. Tony just shrugged with one shoulder, wincing a little at the pull; Steve lifted his hand to the small of his back and rubbed a little. ‘None of the background information we were able to gather on her indicated anything that she was a high level threat, let alone able to instigate any of this, plus her name was on the list.’

Clint broke in there. ‘Having her name on the list could have been a ploy, or she could have simply been drawn in to it against her will. But if you look at her history of being turned away for grants, the lack of money to fund her research,’ Steve scowled, knowing where Clint was going with this ‘if she was desperate enough to make this work, there’s not a lot some people wouldn’t do for recognition.’ They all shared a grim silence of agreeance.

‘Either way we don’t know which scenario Hansen falls in to just yet, we treat her as a suspect and a victim in this.’ Steve declared. ‘But right now she is the only solid lead we have to follow, I think it is fair to assume that the person emailing Doctor Banner is Maya Hansen and right now she is our main target, we need to put all of our efforts in to locating her.’ Everyone but Tony nodded, Steve watched him for a moment in concern, wishing those usually expressive eyes could regain some of their spark.

Steve was watching Tony chew on his lip, caught up in his own thoughts as he mulled things over for a moment when Natasha chimed in again, voice hesitant but determined. ‘One thing here that is still confusing me,’ she seemed to be rolling the words around in her mouth ‘is where does Dawson come in to all of this, what role did he play?’ That was something that had been playing on Steve’s mind as well but he had been weary in bringing it up around Tony for fear of triggering a flashback. He darted his eyes to Tony to check on him, but he seemed lost inside his own head for now. ‘Say we agree that Maya is the one in charge of this and her endgame was Tony and Banner, why Dawson and the list? Was he financing her, was the list a decoy?’

They were really important, valid questions that Steve wished he had some answers for and he felt like shit having nothing but speculation to offer in return. There were too much speculation around this already, first things first they needed to do was track down Maya and shut down whatever it was that Bruce was working on. They couldn’t afford to leave Bruce alone on this, not without risking the lives of everyone in the tower if the Other Guy was to come out to play when something inevitably went wrong.

‘Right now we focus on Maya Hansen; if we find her and bring her in we might have some more chances to answer those questions.’ Everyone nodded. ‘Second we need to go down to Bruce, pull him out of this we can’t allow him anymore access to that serum, who knows we might even be able to get some answers out of him if there’s more that we don’t know about.’

‘No.’ Tony said firmly, shaking his head.

‘Tony we can’t let him keep working on this; if something explodes in his face and he turns we can’t risk it.’ Steve placated him, the hand on his back a little more firm.

‘Yeah- no, I know that but I want to go down and talk to him myself not you guys it has to be me.’ Steve felt the muscles in his back tense as he tried to sit up straighter, mouth set in a firm line so his lips were bloodless, determined. ‘If you all go in there and try and shut this down it will end in disaster, he’s used to me being bossy and annoying I’ll do it.’ Steve sighed, sagging a little and letting his hand pull away.

As much as he wanted to fight Tony on this, it really wasn’t a good idea; he knew it would be pointless. He knew how stubborn the other man could be, and could even see the point that he was making as much as he didn’t want to. If one of them went down there and shut it down now Bruce would go on the defensive and they would lose him. Tony was their best bet, whether Steve wanted him to be or not. An anxious flutter ran through his chest, clenching his lungs a little at the thought of Bruce Hulking out and hurting him.

Tony and Bruce had been good friends from the get go, Clint had rightly dubbed them science bros when they had all moved in together and sometimes they were inseparable down in the labs when they were working on a project together, even if those moments had gotten a few and far between as late as Tony had gotten noticeably slammed with Stark Industries work, they were practically best friends. Steve had had his fair share of pulling both men away from something, and knew exactly what they were like but he still felt the twinge of concern sending Tony down there right now in the current state that he was in.

Realising that he had zoned out with his own thoughts, Steve blinked and looked around the room as Clint and Natasha were retreating towards the elevator and Thor was standing up beside him with a solemn look on his face that spoke volumes, he was clearly unhappy with having nothing to do in this situation.

‘Stay on standby Thor, we don’t know which way this could go yet we might need some interference with Bruce.’ He regretted the words the moment they came out of his mouth when a dark look passed over Tony’s features, but regardless Thor was the only one outside of Tony inside the armour who could hold their own against the Hulk and they didn’t really know how the confrontation was going to play out.

Thor simply nodded his agreeance and left the room, entering the elevator when it returned for him.

Alone with Tony on the sofa now, he noted the sharp lines of his shoulders and the slight quiver of tension from holding himself that way. Steve longed to soothe it away, reassure him that this was all going to be okay but it was a promise he didn’t feel comfortable making without all the proper variables and settled for a small sigh and a gentle touch at the small of Tony’s back again a little unsure how it would be received.

To his surprise Tony just sighed as well and sank in to Steve’s touch, slouching all of a sudden with an exhausted. Even though this was time sensitive, the sooner they got Bruce away the better, he wanted to offer to leave it till the next morning when Tony was a little more rested. It wouldn’t make any difference.

‘Bruce is our friend, none of us want to start a confrontation over this but you know we can’t let him continue with this.’ Tony just nodded, lips still pursed and not saying anything. ‘I don’t want to let you go down there alone.’ Steve admitted, surprised at the concern in his voice.

Tony turned to face him a little more and Steve saw the exhaustion written there, the red rimming his eyes and the deep creases lining his mouth. ‘Bruce wouldn’t hurt me, or anyone else for that matter he has a lid on it.’ Tony said, a little empathetically. It didn’t make Steve feel any better. ‘I need to do this alone or he will just feel threatened, I don’t want him to feel like he needs to run away again this is home now.’ Steve hadn’t looked at it that way, and felt a little guilty now.

‘I’ll wait outside the lab but I won’t come in, not unless Jarvis indicates something is happening that requires intervention.’ Tony just nodded again, slumping a little more as he tried and failed to supress a yawn. Maybe they could wait till he Tony taken a nap, a few more hours couldn’t hurt.

That thought was pushed away though as Tony used his free hand to push up against Steve, trying to standing shakily on one foot with the casted one poking out in front of him lamely. Steve stood quickly to help support him, casting his eyes around for the wheelchair and hooking a leg out to scoot it closer and lower Tony in to it. ‘Do you want a blanket?’ He asked, Tony shook his head again and shifted in the chair obviously hurting and uncomfortable. Steve didn’t know when Tony had las had his pain killers but didn’t know if he would take them right now, he left it.

‘Are you sure you want to do this right now?’ Steve asked, stopped in front of the elevators and looked down at his new boyfriend, fearing for him a little despite Tony’s words of comforts about Bruce earlier, he was still uneasy about it he couldn’t help it. The elevator doors opened but he didn’t move to wheel them both in, waiting for confirmation.

‘Let’s just get it over with Steve, I’m tired.’ Was the reply he got so he pushed them forward and turned the wheelchair to face the doors, gripping the handles a little too tightly glad Tony couldn’t see the war of emotions on his face right now.

They didn’t say anything as the elevator moved quickly and silent between floors, Steve longed for the days where elevators played upbeat classical music to fill awkward silences. Nothing he would say right now would be listened to anyway, not when Tony had his mind firmly set on something. He wondered where Clint and Natasha had gone, wishing he hadn’t zoned out at the end of the conversation unprofessionally, he needed a better hold on his emotions or he was going to end up getting someone hurt.

Arriving at Bruce’s lab came quicker then he wanted and Steve found himself stopping just shy of the double, reinforced doors with his hands clenched desperately around the wheelchair trying to calm himself down, he didn’t want to wheel Tony in there to have this conversation with Bruce and then just walk out on him when there were so many invariables to face. Not when there was a chance that Tony could be over reading the situation and Bruce could lose his cool and erupt. If that happened and he had just left Tony in there to be hurt or killed, he could never live with himself. Not to mention the guilt that he was worrying about a friend hurting another friend, none of this was sitting right with him.

‘We aren’t getting any younger here Steve.’ Tony chimed in playfully, though Steve could still hear the underlying weariness in his voice, his stomach clenched but he reached out and hit the interface for the door anyway, entering his override codes for entry and wheeling them in.

 

 

Despite all his assurances to Steve to get himself down here, Tony was filled with trepidation. Honestly he didn’t know how Bruce was going to react to this at all, the invasion of privacy or the declaration that he was being pulled out and barred further involvement in the formula. Bruce was just like him, which was why they got along so well in the first place, in that he didn’t like being told what he could or couldn’t do. There was every chance that this was going to go very badly, but Tony was holding on to a frayed hope that Bruce would see reason in this.

Plus Tony felt immensely guilty that Bruce had been lured in to this on the premise of helping him, even though he knew the moment a cure for the Hulk was mentioned there would have been no doubting Bruce getting involved. Even after all the work that had been made through teamwork and bonding on the field with the Hulk, Bruce was still searching for a cure and unwilling to let it go. It hurt Tony a little, knowing that Bruce was always on edge about it, and couldn’t find it in himself to completely relax about them yet.

There had been times where Tony had invited Bruce to his own workshop to work on something that had the potential to be amazing, but been turned down on the premise of too much risk and danger if it blew up on Tony. No matter how much control he gained, Bruce was just never willing to risk any of their lives in case something went wrong.

It also stung that the first time Tony was figuratively stepping foot in a lab, it wasn’t his own and he wouldn’t have the chance to get his hands dirty or delve in to some work. There had been a moment’s temptation, upstairs, when it dawned on him that Bruce was working on Maya’s formula that he had found himself keenly thinking about it, running the math and equation and fixing what was wrong with it. That was what he did, he fixed things, but he had shut his thoughts down on the premise that this could be too dangerous and possibly something that couldn’t be solved or repaired.

Not to mention the allure that he could get his sight back, the little promise in the email sent to Bruce about him that had set up a tent in his brain and built roots. There was some difficulty wrapping his head around letting that go, something he desperately wanted but his rational mind won out and he knew his own personal gain wasn’t worth that of anyone else’s that could be at risk. Not when whatever Maya and Bruce were working on had the unknown potential to explode.

Reality slammed back in to him when the smell of dirt and plants mixed with the haze of chemicals and smoke washed over him with the sharp hiss of the lab doors opening, the cool breeze making him shiver a little. Steve wheeled him forward as the soft sounds of the lab washed over them, small beeps and the hums of computer processors and equipment creating a calming backdrop of noise with a sense of comfortable familiarity.

As they got a little deeper in to the expansive room he picked up the quiet mutterings of Bruce as he worked, scrapes of pipettes on beakers and the whoosh or Bunsen burners. All things that Tony could pick out on any given day, having spent the majority of his life in laboratories, it was calming.

Tony noticed the moment Bruce heard them, or saw them as his mutterings cut off and the sharp clang of equipment hitting the metal bench. ‘Tony, Steve what are you- how did you… what’s going on?’ Bruce’s voice was hesitant and a little on the defensive already and the guilt washed back over him.

‘I’ll come back soon.’ Steve squeezed his shoulder reassuringly before his footsteps retreated smoothly and Tony could pick up the hiss of the doors opening and closing, he was alone with Bruce now.

‘You overrode the codes.’ Bruce stated it simply, no accusation in his voice as the scrape of a stool echoed, he must have sat down Tony thought. ‘Guess the cats out of the bag, I was going to tell you about it when it was finished or I got too stuck.’ He imagined Bruce shrugging his shoulders, a little caught off guard by the abrupt honesty from him having expected this to have been a drawn out dance around the truth.

‘Sorry Big Guy, guess I got a little worried about my friend.’ Tony admitted, unsure where to take this now that Bruce had admitted what he was doing. ‘You can’t keep working on this Bruce; you know that, you have to know how unstable it is there’s too much risk.’ Bruce just sighed but didn’t say anything for a moment; they sat in the relative silence of the lab.

‘This could be it Tony, it could cure the Hulk and help you get back your sight and repair the heart failure. Think of what this could do in the medical field, the advancements it could make and all the lives it could save. There are videos, people are growing back limbs, and it’s incredible.’ Bruce sounded a little incensed now and it made Tony uneasy, he swallowed and shifted a little uneasily in his seat. ‘The things it can do, some of the people who had received it already have noted a marked improvement in strength and agility, sharper senses!’ The stool scraped against the floor again. ‘Think of what this could do for the world.’

Scrunching up his face a little Tony shook his head, trying to wrap his head around the fact that Bruce had just said this had been used on people, real life living people when they had yet to run the kinks out of it and things were still blowing up. He wasn’t sure he had actually heard that part correctly. ‘It’s been used on humans?’ His face must have shown some of his disbelief because Bruce wasn’t as quick to reply this time and that made Tony uneasy.

‘It was time to move on to the next phase, they had to.’ Bruce was silent for a moment. ‘They needed to know it worked Tony, I wanted to bring you in as soon as they contacted me and asked me to but I didn’t want to get your hopes up.’

‘Are they exploding?’ Tony asked his mouth felt slick with too much saliva as his stomach roiled at the implications of those words. It was Bruce’s voice speaking them, but he couldn’t connect them with his friend, the man he knew that had learned long ago from his own mistakes that human experimentation never worked out well.

Bruce didn’t respond immediately, and when he did it was a little sheepishly and uncertain. ‘They don’t share all the results with me, just whether or not there is success.’ Tony wanted to throw up, surely Bruce knew what it meant with the failed results whether he got them or not.

‘And you’re okay with that, people exploding while you work on a ‘possible’ cure?’ Tony couldn’t stop his voice from shaking a little, he really was feeling nauseas now and wasn’t sure what to think about what Bruce was telling him right now. What to make of it. Why Bruce was suddenly okay with people dying, how they had gotten to him and convinced him that this was okay to go through with.

Were they blackmailing him, threatening Betty or someone else in his life? Tony didn’t know Bruce was this unhappy here, working with them, being a part of the team or fighting by their side as the Hulk if he were this willing to sacrifice life to cure it. There had to be more to this that he wasn’t seeing because the Bruce he knew wouldn’t do this, something else had to be going on here.

‘Are they threatening you somehow, holding something over you, is it Betty?’ Tony was desperate to understand, his hands were clenched around his track pants to stop them from shaking and getting clammy. ‘How are you okay with people dying for this Bruce?’ He could feel his irregular heart beat in his head, pounding through his body as he struggled to make head or tails of this.

‘Extremis has the potential to remove the shrapnel from your chest Tony, no more arc reactor. On top of that it could reverse the damage to your eyes and your heart, isn’t that enough incentive to turn a blind eye to everything else?’ Bruce sounded like he believed himself, Tony shivered again. ‘I never stopped looking for my own cure, you know that.’ He stopped to let the words sink in. ‘If there’s a possibility I could get rid of the Hulk… Tony there’s too much promise here.’

‘Shut everything down right now Jarvis, wipe the servers.’ Tony said it as quickly as he could before Bruce could talk over him or he could lose the nerve, the lingering fear of how this could turn out what coming back full force now. Bruce was heavily invested in this, that much was clear and he had no idea how he was going to react to having Jarvis back in his servers and removing everything he had been working on.

Tony didn’t even know if it would be enough, or if the second party had all the information they had acquired already. They were just going to have to track Maya down and erase it all that way, this didn’t sound like something that should fall in to anyone’s hands, let alone a terrorist or government agency. There was no telling what Maya intended on doing with the finished product and Tony wasn’t going to sit back and play a part in that, or allow one of his friends to have a starring role in creating something so dangerous.

‘Wait, no don’t do that! Tony if you helped me, we could perfect this together!’ Bruce sounded desperate, Tony jumped when hands closed over his arm, squeezing and pleading with him. ‘It’s so close, she told me you nearly fixed the problem when you were drunk imagine what you could do now!’ The hands were bruising on his arm now and Tony squirmed a little to get away, opening and closing his mouth to respond but not finding the words he needed.

‘It is Maya.’ Tony gasped out, wishing Bruce would move away from him. The grip on his arm was strong, but without his eyes he could safely say whether or not there was a risk of him Hulking out, Steve was right. This had been a big mistake to come in here on his own, words were obviously failing him now and he had no idea what to do but he kept trying to calm the other man down, his presence haunt and suffocating leaning over him. ‘It was Maya Hansen; she’s the one behind this.’

‘Maya has been emailing me, but I don’t think it has anything to do with anything else though she just needs help Tony, we can help her and put so much of this behind us.’ Tony really wanted to know what sweet, innocent Maya had said to Bruce to make him act this way he couldn’t comprehend that Bruce was desperate enough to sacrifice life to cure his ailment, he just couldn’t.

‘Wipe complete.’ Jarvis announced and the room went silent as all the equipment powered down around them, the only sounds left were Bruce and Tony’s harsh breathing as they faced off with each other, the grip on his arm tightened a little more before Bruce pushed away and the wheelchair went back a few feet, he could hear Bruce groaning and panicked.

‘Steve, J get Steve.’ Sitting there surrounded by the darkness with no idea what was happening ahead of him, Tony didn’t want to be alone any longer his stomach felt seconds away from rebelling on him and expelling the poor amount of lunch he had managed hours ago.

‘That was the only promising chance I had Tony.’ Bruce sounded wrecked and Tony felt his heart wrench a little out of guilt but he couldn’t let this continue, he just couldn’t, it was too dangerous for the rest of the world. ‘You know how much I want to get rid of him, how you could take that away from me.’

‘You don’t know that it would have worked Bruce, you don’t know what could have happened if you injected yourself with it.’ Tony tried desperately to keep his voice calm and steady, to reason with his friend but it fell a little short with fear. His arm ached where Bruce had been holding it but he felt a little relief when he heard the doors open behind him at the entrance, Steve was coming. He would handle this from here.

Nobody said anything after that, the silence hung as heavy over them as the darkness of his sight did. Relief poured over Tony when Steve’s hurried footsteps approached them. ‘Tony is everything okay?’ Steve asked as soon as he was within calling distance, rushing over to him. A heavy hand fell on his shoulder in support and Tony struggled not to lean up in to it, just nodded his head. ‘Doctor Banner, do I need to escort you to the Hulk room?’ Tony flinched uneasily; wishing for the millionth time that his sight hadn’t abandoned him all those weeks ago, that he could see what was happening and be more support for his best friend.

‘Stay away from me.’ Bruce just snapped back, Steve’s fingers clenched a little protectively on his shoulder as his feet shifted on the floor, presumably getting closer to Tony to protect him. ‘Just leave me alone, you’ve all done enough.’ He spat, Tony sagged in the chair feeling like shit for taking this away from him.

‘I’m afraid we can’t do that, do I need to get Thor to come down or will you join us and come up on your own?’ Steve sounded so sure of himself, in command of the moment despite everything that Bruce had just told Tony and turned his blood to ice.

‘I’ll be in my normal, actual room.’ Bruce announced, his feet shuffling past them but there was still an underlying fury that Tony could pick up in his voice, he felt terrible for putting it there.

‘Let’s go then.’ Steve stepped back and then they were moving, quickly through the silent lab and going through the reinforced doors and stepping in to the elevator. Tony wanted to relax, ease some of the tension from his aching body but as long as he was in the same vicinity as Bruce he couldn’t, too on edge over everything and ruminating on what had been said.

When the elevator doors opened Thor was there, offering them a quiet hello as Steve steered them out and Thor stepped in to make sure Bruce went directly to his own rooms. ‘Jarvis lock Bruce down, confine him to his rooms.’ Tony requested when the doors shut on them and Steve steered him towards the lounge room.

After some help to move to the sofa and positioning to get comfortable Tony finally let himself sag bag against the pillows and clutched a blanket in his hand as he ground his teeth together. None of that had gone how he had planned it to, the only positive to come out of it was the knowledge that Maya did indeed play a role in this and they had advanced to human experimentation. Not to mention that it sounded a little like a diluted, but powerful version of the super soldier serum running in Steve’s veins if the subjects were slightly enhanced by the effects in that way.

All in all, Tony didn’t know what to make of any of it and he really didn’t like that. He needed to get a look at that formula, a good proper one not just Jarvis reading it out to him, he hated that he wouldn’t be able to.

Steve broke the silence. ‘What happened?’ He must have been sitting on the coffee table across from him; one of his big hands settled over his where it was clutching the blanket.

Sighing Tony gave him a rundown of it, telling him how Bruce hadn’t even tried to hide what he was doing once found out and had even asked him for help. Steve just stayed quiet, rubbing his calloused thumb over Tony’s knuckles until he was finished. ‘I really didn’t think he was capable of this, I keep thinking there must have been something in the emails that we missed or some other way of contacting him that we don’t know about because it just isn’t Bruce, he isn’t like this.’

‘Sometimes people can do bad things when they are desperate.’ Steve offered quietly. ‘We all know how much Bruce hates the Hulk that could have been all the incentive that he needed.’ It didn’t make him feel any better for it.

‘I just didn’t know that he was still this unhappy, I thought he was doing better here. There hadn’t been an incident in ages where he lost control by accident, things were going good.’ No matter what he told himself he just couldn’t wrap his mind around it. ‘He never told me he didn’t want to be here or that he wasn’t happy.’

With a gusty sigh Steve leaned over and pressed a warm kiss to his forehead, startling him. ‘This isn’t on you; everyone has a weakness that can be exploited.’ Tony just nodded and sank back further, wishing the pillows would open up and swallow him.

‘Natasha and Clint went out to Shield, we could use more help hunting down Maya Hansen.’ There was another kiss to his forehead. ‘I am going to cook dinner, so why don’t you try and have a nap for now.’ Tony had no intention of having a nap right now but he nodded anyway and closed his eyes against the onslaught of his thoughts and tried to process and make sense of them.

It was going to be a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Different character study for Bruce Banner, I know. But I feel like he would be very desperate and willing to get rid of the Hulk sometimes so I went down that path here!
> 
> Please comment if you are still enjoying this!


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flashbacks and trigger warnings for memories of rape

Despite the urging of Steve, Tony couldn’t sleep that night. Instead he chose to just lay there in Steve’s stupidly large, strong arms and enjoy the shared body heat and the protective hand resting possessively over the arc reactor and close his eyes and pretend while he let his mind race and his thoughts tangle themselves up.

In the morning Steve appeared none the wiser, giving him a slow morning kiss before beginning their morning routine. In the shower his brain still wouldn’t shut off, he angled his head to avoid getting any water in his face and let the hot sluice run down his back and ease some of yesterday’s tension there. He couldn’t get his mind off Bruce, soft, goofy Bruce with his obsessive penchant for cleaning his glasses and wringing his hands together, Bruce. How had that man been so easily absorbed in to this, lose his easy going character so easily.

It also kept coming back to the question of where his time in the factory with Dawson came in to all of this, whether or not it was staged. Surely he wasn’t put through that by accident, or for no reason at all. If Dawson hadn’t been in possession of the list and paid out the money to purchase him, Tony almost could have believed it was a coincidence that he was taken around the same time this all came to light. But if he hadn’t been taken from his car that day, they probably wouldn’t have discovered any of this at all.

There had to be something else going on here and it had to be connecter.

Tony just couldn’t work out how.

One thing that he did have to look forward to today, Tony was able to remove the damned sling from his arm. Clint was going to help him with physical therapy to regain as much movement as possible, having some experience himself with shoulder related injuries. It didn’t have a promising outcome, some of the sensation and nerve endings in his fingers had been compromised, but in the grand scheme of things Tony wasn’t overly concerned. His heart was chucking in the rag; none of it was going to matter.

‘You okay in there?’ Steve’s soft voice through the door startled him for a moment; he didn’t know how long he had been in the shower. He hadn’t even started the awkward struggle to one handedly wash his hair yet.

‘Wanna give me a hand?’ Tony called lamely, shifting on the uncomfortable seat and feeling a little self-conscious when Steve pushed the door open letting in a cool waft of air. ‘Guess I’m a little tired.’ He offered to Steve when the other man shuffled over and offered a little hum in response.

‘Give me a second.’ The sounds of Steve stripping off his clothes filled the humid bathroom; an unwarranted blush crept up Tony’s cheeks and chest. It wasn’t fair that Steve got to see him naked but he couldn’t see him in return. Seeming to sense his embarrassment, Steve chimed in with a soft spoken, ‘is this okay?’ Before his feet padded wetly against the tiles as he came in to the shower.

Hunching over himself a little, Tony just nodded. Mornings where he was too tired or a little too sore to try and clean himself up, Rhodey would do this for him. They’d both stay in their boxers or briefs, but the help would be there regardless. Despite how their relationship was progressing, Tony was still a little awkward baring himself completely to Steve like this.

Bottles shifted on the ledge to Tony’s right and Steve’s fingers were under his chin, tilting only his hair back under the water for a moment before the squish of the bottle being squeezed and long, sure fingers were shampooing his hair with small moments of pressure that could almost be considered a massage. Tony couldn’t help but melt in to and appreciate it; this was much better then when Rhodey clinically helped him. Letting out a little moan when Steve dragged his nails over his scalps, the blush returned with ferocity.

‘Is that good?’ Steve leaned in a little closer to him, an appreciative hum in voice as he did it again making Tony shiver this time. ‘Close your eyes.’ Tony was going to make a joke that he couldn’t see anyway, but Steve was tipping his head back gently again rinsing the suds from his hair effortlessly with his other hand protectively resting against his forehead to stop any from getting in his eyes or mouth.

They shared a contemplative silence as Steve lathered in the conditioner. ‘I always wondered what I could smell when you were close, never guessed you for a coconut and shea butter kinda guy.’ Tony smirked and slapped his good hand out, whacking it against a well-muscled thigh trying not to think about how close he was to something else. His cheeks heated up again. ‘Kind of intrigued to see what your body wash is.’

‘Some of us take pride in our appearance and body odour Roger’s.’ Tony sniped back, allowing Steve to tilt his head back again to rinse. It was nice to have Steve’s strong fingers holding his face so gently, especially having seen firsthand what they were capable of doing on a daily basis. It would be easy for Steve to dislocate or break his jaw in this position, reassuring to know that he wouldn’t.

‘First time I went shopping for myself,’ Steve began removing his hand and making noise as he reached for the next bottle ‘I got the personal hygiene section and couldn’t believe what I was seeing.’ The bottle squealed in protest under his strong grip. ‘All I wanted was a bar of plain soap and instead there were just bottles upon bottles of lotion with all these funny smells promoting to boost your man hood.’ Tony couldn’t hide the snort of amusement that slipped out. ‘Some of them smelt atrocious, the popular ones and I just stood there shaking my head until someone took pity on me.’ He could imagine the scene, Steve standing looking like a lost puppy in front of brightly coloured bottles being beaten in to submission by them.

‘I bet it was some nice old lady too.’ Tony teased as Steve lifted his arm and started to move the loofah in soothing circles across his skin. For a minute, Tony considered that he should be deeply embarrassed by this, ashamed even that he was requiring this level of care so far along in his recovery but he was enjoying it too damn much to say anything that might ruin the moment. Plus he was tired, normally all the drugs in his system knocked him flat but he had been steadily building a tolerance to himself.

‘I wish I could see you, share this moment and return the favour.’ Tony murmured in to his lap, he wasn’t aroused per se but there was a sting of arousal thrumming through his blood. He wanted to bring his hands up and explore the expansive plains of Steve’s body and trace them, burn them in to muscle memory for future reference but there was still that lingering fear in the back of his mind.

Whenever he thought about anything sexually related to Steve he went cold and clammy, thinking of different hands on his body. That week with Dawson was his only male experience, another of the many hidden reasons he had never been willing to go after Steve when he had realised he had feelings for him. A male relationship was not something that he had familiarity with, had never explored before in his life. Now there was every chance that Dawson had ruined this for him before it could even get started.

Steve’s mouth came down on his, deep and promising and Tony forced himself to return it and not let his mind wander anywhere else but when Steve’s slick hand moved from his face to down his shoulder to rest between his ribs and hipbone he couldn’t stop the fully body flinch even when he threw himself deeper in to the kiss. Steve pulled back a little, but didn’t stop and Tony leaned in to him, trying to enjoy it but when the hands came back again and trailed around to his back he couldn’t do it.

Pulling away sharply, panting, Tony felt himself shaking and seizing up as he struggled to curl in on himself and protect his body. Steve wasn’t a threat, he wouldn’t force himself on Tony or try and hurt him in any way but his body wouldn’t listen to reason, still trapped on that damn bed in the fucking factory. Tears slipped unbidden down his cheeks, Tony hoped Steve would mistake them for shower water until his whole body hitched on a sob. ‘I’m sorry, Tony- God.’ Steve’s hand came down a little harder than intended on his shoulder, gripping him and that was all he could take.

Tony threw himself sideways, anywhere to get away as his stupid body automatically reacted. The side of his head hit the tiles before Steve was grabbing him and holding him upright as the shower was turned off quickly but he wasn’t registering any of it. Just the clang of handcuffs on a metal railing as he struggled, a pain as he was forced in to, the cloying smell of body sweat and cigars that he just couldn’t get away from. He could hear Dawson’s voice above him, praising him with small nips at his earlobe for being such a good boy.

Tony didn’t know how much time had passed, but when he came out of the flashback, swamped with anxiety and panic he wasn’t in the shower or wet anymore. The familiar mink blanket was wrapped tightly around him and he was on the bed, he could hear Steve’s soft breaths beside him close not enough to touch.

‘I’m so sorry.’ Tony rasped, voice wrecked; he wondered if he had been screaming or crying. Probably both if he was being honest with himself.

‘Don’t you dare.’ Steve’s voice was flat, but nearly as wrecked as his own. ‘Don’t you even think of apologising for that, ever again. I should have known better, I had no right to force myself on you that way.’

‘What?’ Tony struggled to sit himself up, wrapped too tightly in the blanket but suddenly on high alert over Steve’s words. ‘No, Steve just no, that wasn’t forcing yourself on me how could you even think that, you kissed me. Something that we do every day lately, you weren’t forcing yourself on me at all. I shouldn’t have forced it, it was my fault. I thought I wanted it, pushed myself to make it more than I could handle, I should have known my own boundaries but I didn’t so this was all myself so please, please don’t blame yourself you didn’t do anything wrong.’ It was all said in one, long, rambling breath but Tony didn’t know if Steve would let him get it all out and he was so damn tired and sick of being this way that he couldn’t help it. ‘Please, Steve, don’t blame yourself for that I thought I was ready for more but I guess I wasn’t.’

Finally managing to get his better arm loose of the blanket, Tony used it to push himself up and feel around for something before he dropped awkwardly back on the bed with oomph. A few seconds passed with his face pressed in to his doona before Steve helped him up with clammy, nervous hands that were far too soft and gentle on him, like he might break. ‘Please believe me Steve.’ Tony didn’t know why it mattered he got the message through the super soldier’s thick skull, but it did.

‘I wanted it.’ He finished lamely.

‘But you really didn’t Tony, you can’t put yourself through that, especially not for my sake.’ Steve’s voice was full of emotion now, an earnestness that Tony had never heard before that went straight to his damaged, weakened heart and made it soar with affection for the other man. ‘Promise me you won’t do anything like that before you are ready to again.’ That was in his captain voice now, and Tony longed to see the stern look on his face, or maybe even the kicked puppy look Tony had been so fond of before. It could have been either one on Steve’s face right now if he was honest with himself.

‘I promise.’ Tony was surprised to hear himself say that and mean it at the same time, normally he readily agreed to what people wanted of him whether he intended to hold himself to it or not, it was just ingrained him in at this stage by now that it came second nature. But he really meant it this time and didn’t think he would fall through on it anytime soon. Not with the lingering feel of rough hands still lingering on his hips and inside his thighs. It was an unwelcome memory.

Steve sighed gustily and Tony felt himself being pulled forward and enveloped in a very warm, assuring hug as Steve buried his face in Tony’s neck. It cant have been comfortable for him, Tony was well aware he was a good foot shorter then Steve and he had to be awkwardly hunched over for this but he didn’t find himself thinking about it too much. At least until the mink blanket slipped down his shoulders and he realised with startling clarity that he was still buck naked.

‘Ah, I think I should get dressed now.’ In the shower he hadn’t cared about his modesty, but with the flashback still very fresh in his brain he longed for the protection of his clothing. He was slowly becoming dependent on the warmth of his casual clothes, normally he was more ate ease dressed to the nines in his suits and sharp clothing but there was comfort to be had in his track pants that he never knew existed.

After a small chuckle and a quick kiss to the top of his hair Steve pulled away and slipped off the bed, the mattress dipping with his weight before his footsteps padded across the room. Shifting a little on the bed, Tony realised the shower cap was still on his leg, crinkling every time he shifted. Reaching out to try and pull it off, what he assumed was a bruise from Bruce gripping his arm pulled and stung, a little swollen. Now that he was thinking about it, his head stung a little too. ‘Why does my head hurt?’ He brought his hand up, losing his balance a little and probing at the side of his forehead, it was tender.

‘You panicked and tried to get away, whacked yourself pretty good on the shower wall.’ Steve answered coolly, struggling to keep the strained emotion from his voice. ‘I’ll get you an ice pack when we go downstairs for breakfast, looks like it’ll bruise.’ Tony wrinkled his nose in distaste, he didn’t remember doing that. ‘Where did you get that bruise on your arm?’

Trying to pass it off as nothing while awkwardly slumped on the bed wasn’t easy, but Tony tried to anyway. He didn’t want Bruce to get in anymore trouble. ‘Bruce grabbed me yesterday, I don’t think he realised what he was doing.’ He hoped Steve would buy it for what it was and not get too angry.

‘We need to talk to him again today.’ Tony sagged in a miniscule amount of relief. ‘I’m just not sure it’s such a good idea, we need the information but it’s a big risk poking an angry bear.’ Tony couldn’t help the laugh that slipped out, he tried to stifle it down but Steve had just basically called the Hulk a bear, Bruce an angry bear.

‘Maybe give him some more time, to calm down and come to terms with it all.’ Tony said when he had calmed down, Steve was helping him in to his briefs and track pants and they fell in to an easy, companionable silence as he finished dressing. ‘Can I borrow one of your sweaters?’ Tony asked, he loved Steve’s oversized grandpa jumpers, they were too large on him and he had to roll the sleeves up over his wrist, but they were warm. Plus he liked wearing something that was Steve’s.

‘I think there might be one up here still, let me look.’ Tony nodded and hummed, sagging a little with exhaustion. The flashback had left him even more drained on top of the no sleep but he was in no rush to sleep after what just happened. It was just opening the door and welcoming in bad dreams and nightmares. He was going to try and con Clint in to slipping him some extra coffee, fluid chart be damned he damn well needed it.

‘Arm up.’ Tony complied, feeling a little like a child as Steve manhandled him in to the oversized wool, and he winced and pulled away a little when his shoulder rotated uncomfortably. Steve apologised softly and rolled the sleeves up for him. ‘Wheelchair or bridal carry?’

‘Well when you put it like that.’ Tony laughed, smiling fondly. ‘Wheelchair, please.’ He hopped up on one leg and leaned on Steve to hobble over to the wheelchair before sinking in to the chair. He hated this thing and couldn’t wait until his leg was stable enough to come out of the cast and at least go in to a boot so he could hobble around. Though with what the doctors were telling him, and the way his lungs were straining just from the little amount of exercise, he wouldn’t be capable of doing much more than just that, short hobbles.

When the elevator released them on the main floor the scent of coffee and toast was overwhelming, the soft chatter of Clint, Natasha and Thor greeted them as they went in to the kitchen. ‘Someone please tell me there is coffee left, please.’ Clint snorted at him.

‘What happened to your head?’ Cool fingers brushed the steady throb where he figured a decent bruise was forming, Natasha tsked him as she withdrew and he heard the sound of the freezer opening and closing. There was no warning before the frozen ice pack was being held against it, startling an undignified yelp from him. Damn Natasha and her stealth mode.

‘Had a little disagreement with the shower tiles, might need to renovate the bathroom now.’ Tony half joked, bringing his hand up to hold the ice pack in place and free Natasha from hovering over him protectively. ‘But seriously, coffee.’

There was a small warning from Clint before a warm mug was guided in to his hand. ‘You are not tricking me in to giving you an extra cup today; Natasha punched me in my shooting arm when she found out last time.’ Tony smirked as he gripped the cup close to his chest, inhaling the scent greedily and moaning in contentment.

‘That was one time.’ He sniped back, sipping the creamy perfection. While he would have preferred his morning cup black and bitter without sweetener or his favourite hazelnut creamer, he had sacrificed the purity on behalf of the one cup a day rule.  

They all settled down at the dining room table, Steve placed a plate of toast in front of Tony with stern words that it was all to be eaten, since he had been placed on the fluid chart his milkshakes and smoothies had been heavily restricted and he was lacking in the calorie department. He was well aware his weight had stopped going on, even dropping a little more. For once he was glad he couldn’t see, he would be disgusted by the withered body he had right now.

Conversation slowly turned from pleasant teasing to more serious work business. ‘What are we going to do about Bruce; I don’t feel comfortable locking him up in his rooms.’ Natasha announced, silencing everyone else. ‘He might know more than what is on the emails, we can’t rule out that he hasn’t had phone or video calls. One of us needs to go down here and talk with him.’

Tony had already done his part, Bruce was his best friend but he didn’t think he could take another confrontation or cop anymore of the guilt of keeping him from something he so dearly wanted. So he wasn’t putting his hand up for the talk again, it could go to somebody else.

‘I’ll go down but I’d like you to come with me Natasha, I’d take Thor with me but I think he would just feel threatened at this point and we can’t afford having the Hulk come out right now. It’s a weekday and the tower is full of SI employees.’ Tony appreciated the concern for his people, and sent a small smile in Steve’s direction.

‘That seems fair, we should keep Thor close by though just in case.’ Natasha followed through with, voice a little distorted by a mouthful of toast. Tony appreciated that about her, she wasn’t prim and delicate like a lot of other women he had kept company with. Not even Pepper had spoken with her mouthful.

‘Aye, I agree I shall not wander far.’ Thor agreed, his coffee cup clinking on the tabletops surface. Tony imagines he had lifted it in a toast of agreement, he was so damn regal.

‘Okay we have a plan then, everyone,’ Steve paused on the word ‘finish your breakfast and then we will head down.’ Tony squirmed in his seat, knowing that everyone was aimed at him. He still hadn’t touched his toast yet, too busy nursing his coffee and making sure he drank it still hot to be concerned with the toast in front of him. Sheepish, he swallowed the last mouthful of his elixir and moved on to the toast, making a show of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so late! It's winter here and the cold is messing with my motivation lol I am however finally making headway with parts of my health, chronic illness gives me a good chance to write but it can also get very much in the way so if I am ever late or behind on posting you can blame it on that, my body is actually useless most days. 
> 
> I am aware that I have changed Bruce a lot in this, but I really wanted to move out of the usual spectrum of his character and do something a little different.

Standing outside of Bruce’s door with Clint (he’d talked Steve out of taking Natasha the night before, stating she may not be the right fit after what happened on the Hellicarrier and Steve had begrudgingly complied with the archer) uncharacteristically silent and grim at his shoulder, Steve tried not to feel like they were walking in to an interrogation room in the bowels of Shield. Bruce was their friend and their teammate; they shared space and lived together. Steve didn’t want to go in there with his Captain persona and upset the other man more than they already probably had.

None of this was sitting well with him. Between Tony being taken right under their noses and Bruce becoming compromised it was hard not to feel like he had failed his team as a leader by not being able to protect them and keep them from harm off the field. It was his job to ensure their safety at all times and he sure wasn’t doing a good job of that right now.

All night Tony had been off kilter, lost and caught up in his head and unwilling to share with Steve and he hated that, wished he could take some of the burden from his boyfriend. Steve had hoped now that they were starting a relationship together that perhaps the engineer would open up to him a little more, but Tony was still keeping a tight lid on his emotions. Out of all of them Bruce’s betrayal of consorting with the enemy behind their backs was always going to hit Tony harder, the two scientists were quick to become friends and it had to have stung. Plus he was pretty sure Tony hadn’t slept at all the night before, if he were to judge this morning’s heavy eye bags as anything to go by.

With a heavy sigh he knocked on the heavy wooden door as a peace offering before nodding his head for Jarvis to swing it open, the entrance was silent when he walked in, the lights dim as he cast his eyes around looking for Bruce. Things were tossed around in disarray and his heart sped up a little bit in anticipation of the Hulk but calmed down, feeling a little foolish when he remembered that Jarvis would have told them if Bruce had lost control. Not that they wouldn’t have known from the noise and destruction the Hulk usually left in his wake.

But Bruce generally wasn’t prone to throwing physical fits of rage that fell to Tony when something wouldn’t work or he didn’t get his way with something. It was unbecoming of the doctor to have spread this amount of debris about his quarters. Steve had only been in here once or twice, appreciative of the Spartan but organised personal belongings. He spotted one or two trinkets broken on the floor and swallowed, stepping around them with trepidation. This was already looking like it wouldn’t be a pleasant conversation.

‘Doc-,’ Steve cut himself off, not wanting to sound to clinical ‘Bruce are you okay?’ Clint snorted behind him and Steve felt his cheeks blush, it was obvious Bruce wasn’t okay but he hadn’t known what else to say and they still hadn’t got a sight on him as they stopped in the lounge room.

‘Get out.’ Steve whirled around; Bruce was standing in the doorway to his bedroom dressed in loose fitting track pants and a shirt that had seen much better days with a deep five o’clock shadow that seemed to have aggressively aged him over night. Steve felt a pang of sympathy go out to him but stamped down on it, they were here for a reason. They needed to know everything Bruce had on Maya Hansen and the serum that they were working on together, the people that had already been injected with it. ‘Since, apparently I am a prisoner now and can’t leave my rooms you need to get out right now or I can’t promise you something won’t happen.’

‘We don’t want any trouble here Bruce, we just want to talk.’ Steve fought the urge to step in front of Clint a little; he had always been weary of the Hulk no matter how well they worked on the field (or how adamant Tony remained the Hulk wasn’t a risk to them all), in the end Clint was still a normal squishy, non-enhanced human who couldn’t afford to take one of those blows. Not that Steve thought he held much chance either, serum or not, but his odds were a little better. Bruce just glared at them, hands clenched at his sides and eyes flashing behind his lenses. ‘We just need to kno-.’ Bruce cut him off.

‘No.’ He snapped. ‘You don’t need to know anything; you already took all my notes and shut me out of my research and took the one chance at a cure from me. I owe you nothing, now get out.’ Steve thought Bruce was going to turn his back on them and walk back in to the bedroom, maybe slam the door for added dramatics, but he just stood with steely eyes of resentment. This wasn’t going how he had planned it; he was hoping to avoid a stand off until at least half way through their chat.

‘Come on man, don’t be like this. We need to work together, these people are dangerous.’ Clint offered placating, hands held up in front of him in a motion of surrender that they weren’t looking for a fight. ‘We should have done more to look out for you, been there so this couldn’t have happened in the first place.’

‘This?’ Bruce asked, incredulous as he fixed his stare on Clint now, fists clenching and unclenching. ‘You have no right to deny me the chance for a cure, or Tony for that matter. He doesn’t understand right now, but he will get sicker and he will come around and realise cutting me off from this was a big mistake.’ He sounded a little hysterical now and Steve felt a sickening sense of dread. There was going to be little chance of getting through to him when he was like this. He had seen the types of things people were willing to do when driven by obsession for something just out of their reach. ‘Don’t you want to see Tony get better, get his sight back? If I can just finish my research, hell if Tony would just pull his head out of his ass we could perfect Extremis overnight.’

‘Listen to yourself Bruce; you aren’t seeing reason in all of this. It’s dangerous and unstable, exploding is a pretty major side effect don’t you think?’ Clint was relentless in his reasoning but it was falling on deaf ears, Bruce didn’t want to hear any of it.

‘They aren’t exploding straight away, not all of them.’ Steve froze; maybe this could get them somewhere if they could keep Bruce talking so he didn’t say anything just waited for the older man to go on hoping Clint would keep his mouth shut. ‘They need top ups, to keep them stable but I need to get back to my research, they need me.’

‘How many people are we talking here?’ Steve looked at Clint who was shifting uneasily; it was an unsettling thought that there were people possibly walking around amongst civilians at risk of blowing up.

Bruce just shrugged, not offering anything else up. ‘Where are they operating from?’ It was a long shot, Steve knew that. Bruce was only going to give them so much information when he was this upset but it was still worth a shot.

‘Give me access to my lab and I can try and find out, I’ll tell them I want to meet up to work with them.’ If Steve let him have that there was very little chance they would ever see Bruce again, he would vanish before they even knew what had happened. Plus he couldn’t go behind Tony’s back on this, not that Jarvis would allow Bruce back in the labs without Tony’s permission.

‘You know we can’t allow that Bruce.’ Steve said, keeping his voice even and apologetic.

‘Then get out, I have nothing else to say.’ Bruce did turn away this time, shoulders a tense line as he slammed the door on them and the apartment floor fell in to a heavy silence once more. Clint let out a gusty, defeated sigh behind him as his arms swung by his sides looking around at the mess.

‘That could have gone a lot better, but we have something at least.’ Clint offered voice hopeful as he looked up at Steve with a small smile and indicating to the front door. They set off, shaking their heads at Thor waiting by the elevator and sharing the quiet as they rode the elevator back to the main floor.

When the doors opened they were greeted by the sight of Tony practically purring under Natasha’s fingers as she ran them through his hair, a small pair of scissors in one hand as she trimmed the ends talking quietly. They were in the middle of the dining room; Tony was slumped lazily in the wheelchair with a towel around his shoulders a soft smile of contentment on his face as Natasha worked. Steve couldn’t stop his own dopy smile from crossing his features; it was out of place given the current circumstances but it was so rare to see Tony look like this these days he just wanted to soak it all in.

‘Ah Tony what is it you are allowing Lady Natasha to do to your hair? It is a true warrior’s testament to grow it out; it pleased me to see you were partaking in such a matter.’ Thor bellowed as he blundered in to the dining room, stunning the two of them with his loud presence. Natasha cast him a dubious look as she cut away another short lock and let it fall to the floor.

‘Sorry big guy, maybe a few years ago I could have pulled off the mullet but I think I’m a little past that now.’ Tony did nothing to hide his pleasure as Natasha scratched his scalp with her nails, tilting his head from side to side. Thor looked crestfallen and Clint snorted. ‘It was going to be a surprise, you’re back quicker than I thought, is Steve with you?’

‘I’m here Tony.’ Steve stepped forward, making more noise than was necessary and finding it hard to stop smiling as Tony reached a hand out for him beneath the towel. His stomach clenched a little when he saw the bruise, making out the shape of a handprint now that it was becoming more defined. He had a half a mind to go back downstairs and tell Bruce off for it, but it wouldn’t get him anywhere. ‘He wasn’t in a very talkative mood.’ Tony hummed and nodded his head, grimacing when Natasha scolded him for moving.

‘Anyone want a snack?’ Clint called from the kitchen, the sound of cupboards opening and closing as he rifled for something. Steve saw it for what it was though; Tony was due to eat something around now. Even though it shouldn’t have, it still surprised Steve sometimes the way that the team had rallied around Tony and helped to support him through this, he knew it surprised Tony too and that he was having a harder time coming to terms with it. They all cared about him, more than he probably realised and Steve was going to make sure he felt every amount of it. ‘Want some Pop Tarts Thor?’

‘Aye!’ Thor called out, hands in the air as he moved to join Clint in the kitchen.

Rolling his eyes Steve pulled out a dining room chair and sat back to watch as Natasha finished the haircut on Tony and swapped the scissors out for an electric razor. Normally this was done by Pepper or Rhodey, Steve had never seen someone so protective of their beard before but Tony prided himself on the signature look and wouldn’t let anyone else near it but with Rhodey on a mission for the Air Force and Pepper in Malibu for meetings she couldn’t dodge there was nobody else.

There was no way Steve was going offer himself up to do it, he didn’t want to risk losing their relationship if he made a mistake and ruined the precious Van Dyke. So the fact that he was allowing Natasha, the one person Tony had had trouble warming up to before, do this was testament to how much things were changing between the team. It was a sight to behold, watching those lithe and deadly fingers manoeuvre Tony’s face so delicately when they could just as easily end his life. But there was no fear on Tony, he still had that dreamy smile on his face as he held perfectly still for her, barely daring to breath lest a mistake be made.

‘I come bearing sugary treats!’ Clint proclaimed, dumping a variety of sweet and savoury biscuits on the table, Thor following behind him with two boxes Steve knew he had no intention of sharing of Pop Tarts in his arms. ‘I have your favourites here Tony, when you’re finished being groomed like a show dog.’ Steve balked at the comment, unsure whether he should laugh or reprimand Clint but Tony saved him when he barked out a sharp laugh.

‘Dogs are better than budgies, bird man you’re just jealous you have to preen your own feathers.’ Clint just shoved a handful of crackers in his mouth, chewing loudly. Sometimes, Steve swore he was surrounded by teenagers that occasionally matured enough to save the earth. It didn’t help when Tony stuck out his tongue.

‘Did you get anything out of Bruce at all?’ Natasha asked, standing back to study her work appreciatively before carefully removing the towel from Tony’s shoulders without losing any of the hair to the floor.

Reaching for a chocolate biscuit, Steve stared down at the sweet morsel as he thought about what Bruce had said. It wasn’t really anything that they didn’t already know, but it gave them fair warning that there could be walking weapons amongst the general populace. ‘They aren’t blowing up right away, they found a way to stabilise the serum somehow.’

Natasha’s piercing gaze shot to him in surprise; _bingo_ Steve thought as she understood what that meant. ‘He thinks you’ll come around Tony, want to help him out with it. Tried to get access to the lab again, he’s really not too happy with us.’ Steve said, bringing up the biscuit and biting in to it to savour the chocolate.

‘Yeah don’t really know how he thought that was going to work out for him.’ Clint smirked, shoving more food in his mouth, spilling crumbs down his front. ‘Kudos for effort though right?’ He shoved a hand in to another box and walked over to Tony, dumping them in his good hand before pulling out a seat next to Steve.

Tony shook the biscuits in to his lap and started absentmindedly nibbling one, a troubled look on his face. Steve felt a little guilty discussing this around him, knowing how upset he was over Bruce’s betrayal but at the same time didn’t want to leave him out of important team discussions and risk him feeling neglected. At least their ploy to subliminally get Tony to eat was working as he moved on to his second chocolate chip cookie, crumbs clinging to the side of his mouth. Steve couldn’t help himself when he leant over and brushed his thumb over them.

The dining room went silent after it happened, Steve unconsciously putting his thumb in his mouth to lick the crumbs off. Clint was staring at him with his mouth open, while Natasha was smirking knowingly; Thor just looked a little smitten with them both for some reason. ‘What did I miss?’ Tony asked comically when the silence carried on.

‘Cap breaking all the PG-13 rules.’ Natasha teased, reaching in to a bag for her own cookies as Clint broke in to a loud laugh, caught between a person and a seal as he doubled over and clapped his hands. Honestly Steve wasn’t sure he knew what was quiet so funny, but the sound was nice to hear regardless.

After waiting for Clint to calm down and everyone to finish eating they headed back over to the sofa to keep discussing everything, mostly for the sake of Tony so he could be more comfortable. It was nearly time for Clint to start physio on his shoulder, Steve didn’t know if Tony would want him there for it or not, he hoped that he would if only for moral support and to help him through the pain.

‘Jarvis have you had any luck tracing where the email comes from?’ Tony asked, accepting the small stress ball Clint curled his fingers around.

‘I am afraid not sir, each time I get a lock on a location it pings somewhere else.’ If the AI could sound frustrated, Steve was sure he would right now. ‘I am decrypting some files I uncovered on Doctor Banner’s laptop after you uplinked me last night, I believe you may have more to go on when I am finished with that task.’

‘Thanks J, let me know when you’re done.’ Tony squeezed the ball a little, face scrunched up adorably as he struggled to make his short fingers complete the task.

‘Do you think maybe it might be time to bring Shield in to this a little more now, Jarvis is good but it might not hurt to have the world’s best intelligence agency looking in to this as well they can run the advanced facial recognition software to try and find Maya.’ Natasha stated, watching Tony out of the corner of her eye as he struggled to squeeze the little ball. ‘Dawson might know a little more now that we have more information.’

Steve winced at the use of Dawson’s name, his gaze shot to Tony in concern after this morning’s flashback but he was too focused on the task with the ball to listen to them. It broke Steve’s heart a little to see him struggle so much with such a simple task. Those hands used to be so strong and dexterous, the fingers capable of such delicate tasks to put together pieces of machinery. It was difficult to watch them stiffly form a lax grip around the stress ball, a fine sheen of sweat breaking out on his forehead.

Pulling his gaze away, Steve focused back on Natasha and nodded. ‘I do want to know how he fits in to all of this.’ Natasha nodded in agreement. ‘But Maya needs to be our main objective here; if we can find her maybe we can get all the answers.’

‘I do not enjoy being so idle, I wish to enact my revenge on behalf of Tony and all the others that have been wronged in this matter.’ Thor stated solemnly, face serious as he regarded Steve and Natasha. ‘The sooner we put an end to this the better.’ His hands flexed like they longed to wield Mjolnir.

‘What do we do about Bruce; we can’t keep him locked in his rooms forever.’ That was true; Steve agreed with Natasha but didn’t know what else they could do. They couldn’t allow Bruce to just walk away from them right now, they weren’t doing this to be malicious but for the safety of the public. If Bruce were able to get a hold of the serum and inject himself, it could be disastrous.

Especially if the Hulk exploded, Steve wasn’t even sure the Hulk could survive being the centre of an explosion or what would happen to Bruce as a result of the serum. Letting the doctor out wasn’t an option, but it was also unfair to cage him up like an animal, eventually he would take matters in to his own hands to find a means of escaping.

Before Steve could voice his opinion on the matter Tony growled and threw the ball across the room with his good hand, bouncing it off the television where Natasha shot a hand out to catch it on the rebound. ‘Why the fuck am I even bothering with this?’ He snapped harshly, eyes scrunched closed in irritation and hand clenched. ‘It won’t matter; none of this is going to matter.’ Tony let out a broken laugh, slightly hysterical reminding Steve of the moment they had found him in the factory. His heart clenched.

‘Two hands are always better than one Tony; we went over this already it matters.’ Clint assured him, a comforting hand on Tony’s arm. Steve wished he had chosen to sit closer to him now, so that he could be the one offering comfort.

‘I won’t be able to use them anyway, I can’t build like this.’ Shoulders hunched forward Tony pulled his arm away from Clint, Steve could hear tears in his voice now and stood up quickly to intervene but Clint waved a hand at him to wait a moment, he paused awkwardly between the seats. ‘I’ll still be useless.’ Thor stood beside Steve, gripping his shoulder companionably as it felt like all the wind left his sails. Tony sounded so defeated, he could see the tears in his closed eyes now trying to escape and run down his red cheeks.

Clint reached out again, closing both his hands around Tony’s and squeezing them as Tony’s shoulders shook with silent sobs. ‘You aren’t useless Tony; don’t be a self-absorbed dick all the time geez.’ A shocked laugh shot out of him, Steve just wanted to go over and give him a hug but Clint was giving him eyes over Tony’s head so he stayed put. ‘There is more than one way to be helpful man, it’s not all about your fancy tools and flying tin cans you know. It’s bout damn time you got it through that thick noggin of yours alright?’ Tony hiccupped and nodded, fresh tears slipping down his cheeks.

‘My lady Jane sent me a message on my telephone, suggesting to me that perhaps we should watch a film with something called audio description.’ Thor broke in, a bright smile on his face as he addressed the room, Steve was still fighting off the urge to move to Tony and wrap him in his arms but Clint was still holding on to his hands with his head leaned in close, whispering something. ‘I thought all films came with audio.’ Natasha snorted delicately at Thor’s ignorance and started to explain what it meant.

Finally Clint nodded Steve over and he moved quicker than he thought possible in such a small space and settled beside Tony, letting the older, smaller man fold in to him and even wipe his snotty nose on his shirt as they hugged. Whatever Clint had been mumbling had done the trick and he wasn’t crying anymore, Steve offered a smile in thanks and shifted back on the cushions with Tony against him. ‘What do you think, feel up to watching a movie?’ Tony just nodded against his chest, going a little lax now as both his hands curled weakly in his shirt.

‘Don’t worry though; I’ll deliver my own audio description.’ Promised Clint as he flopped back on the other end of the sofa and bumped his feet against Steve’s.

It didn’t take them long to fall in to easy banter, poking fun in the movie and making fun of the poor audio descriptions and laughing at Clint trying to do a better job. Steve was grateful for the temporary relief from more serious topics. They still needed to discuss what they were going to do with Bruce, but for now he was happy to lie on the sofa with Tony in his arms, quiet but smiling softly every now and then.

For now it would be enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	28. Chapter 28

Sweating through the pain, Tony grit his teeth as Clint put him through his paces manipulating his shoulder to move at angles and rotations that it hadn’t for over a month. He was dreading the moment Clint asked him to try and raise it above his head, he didn’t think he was going to be able to stomach it without the phantom pain of chains around his wrist. For now he was trying to deal with straightening it away from his body.

They were the only ones in the lounge room, Clint had some soft rock on in the background to help cover up the sound of his own harsh breathing. Steve and Natasha were at Shield, asking them to assist in looking for Maya while Thor was paying Bruce a visit.

After the movie and a late lunch they had all decided the best thing for Bruce right now was to stay somewhere familiar and safe, Natasha had briefly entertained the idea of taking him with them to Shield but Tony had shut them down. He couldn’t do that to Bruce. So they were all going to see him in shifts, try and let him know that he wasn’t alone and they weren’t seeing him as the enemy. So far he was just shutting the door in their faces or giving them cold looks until they retreated.

Jarvis hadn’t finished decrypting the files on Bruce’s computer either, having come across a small virus that had caused him to glitch for three hours. According to Steve all the lights had changed colour and continued to flicker and the elevators wouldn’t come when they were called. Clint got locked in his bathroom when the doors refused to respond. Tony had had to talk Natasha through the debug and installing stronger firewalls.

At the moment they were back to square one.

‘That’s it, I can’t do anymore.’ Tony panted, bringing his arm down close to his chest. Most of his other injuries were healed by now, Steve had told him this morning when he had asked that most of the scrapes and cuts were gone and the bruises had almost faded to nothing. The surgical scars around his shoulder and chest were still a bright, puckered pink a little raw in places but he was slowly healing. Broken bones had melded, fractures had knit back together and he was a little closer every day to being able to take a deeper breath than normal. The fracture above the arc reactor, in his sternum was taking its sweet ass time though.

As for his heart, well he wasn’t holding up any hope. Last night had been another sleepless night for him, not just from anxiety and concern but because he could have sworn he could feel his lungs filling up with fluid each time he slipped to low on the pillows and his heart stuttering to beat properly. He was exhausted but the pain from moving his shoulder was giving him adrenaline, helping him stay awake and alert.

‘You did well, seriously.’ Clint slapped him on the other arm; Tony could hear the smile in his voice and forced one of his own in return. It was getting harder to fill his days now as his tolerance to the pain killers built and he slept less, he didn’t know what to do with himself.

There wasn’t a whole lot he could do either, and he felt bad that Clint was stuck here babysitting him rather than being with the team to hunt down Maya Hansen. What he really wanted to do was go down to his lab and delve in to some work. It was something he tried very hard not to think about very often, he couldn’t without risk of losing his mind even more. He missed his bots and was anxious that they needed an oil change, or something might need to be fixed that he couldn’t trust the others to do. Maybe when Rhodey had been here, they could have gone down together but he had gone on that mission.

There was always Steve, but Tony doubted he would be willing to allow him down there not with his current state of mind. The lack of sleep was affecting his moods and he had been prone to fits of temper and tears the last two days, he’d already suffered through three flashbacks about a mixture of the factory and the cave before even leaving the bedroom, one of them happening in his sleep. So the thought that Steve would comply and take him down there was out of the question right now.

Natasha rarely went to the lab, she had no relationship with his robots and they were nervous beings just like their creator, they wouldn’t hold still and let her open them up for oil changes or maintenance. Thor would probably crush them by accident; Tony didn’t want anything to do with Bruce on a personal level right now either, even if he was the best candidate for this. So Tony did what he did best and pasted on his best press smile and turned it on poor, unsuspecting Clint.

‘Oh God, no whatever you want, no.’ Clint declared quickly, tensing up beside him on the sofa. Tony just batted his lashes a little too much and widened the smile hoping he didn’t look like a maniac.

‘How good are you mechanics?’ Tony asked sweetly, trying not to betray how much he needed an answer in the positive. Clint was his ticket in to the lab, there was nobody else here to put a stopper on them going down and the chance of getting Clint alone again with Steve out of the building were slim to none. Now was his chance to pounce on the archer.

‘I can manage, nowhere near your level though why?’ Clint sounded hesitant when he answered, but Tony could use that. He just really needed the familiarity right now, it was in his head and there was going to be no getting rid of it now. He had to be in the workshop, couldn’t spend another minute away.

‘Dummy and You need a tune up, I can’t do it need another set of hands I can talk you through it though.’ Tony hoped that by not mentioning physically going down to the workshop straight away would catch Clint in to agreeing.

They sat in silence for a minute, Clint’s steady breathing betraying nothing before he responded. ‘You want me to touch your bots?’ He sounded a little baffled, and then Tony remembered he had bestowed a “Clint cannot touch anything in my workshop” rule after he had accidentally caused a small explosion with an arrow head he had fiddled with when down there one day. It had been a group decision, after Natasha had needed to help him for a week after his hands had been burned. Tony smiled softly at the memory, it had been frightening at the time when he thought Clint had been seriously hurt but they had all laughed and made a joke of it afterwards.

‘I can’t do it, plus you can’t make them explode.’ Clint laughed at that, and Tony smiled back at him. ‘I’ll be with you.’ He added hesitantly hoping it wouldn’t blow the whole thing and Clint would say no.

But the archer just sighed. ‘Steve is going to kill me, you know that right?’ Tony just shrugged lopsidedly, unsure if he was keeping the blinding hope off his face as he tried to school his features in to something neutral. ‘Fine, but you’re paying for my big expensive funeral it has to be flashy and bad ass.’ Chuckling, Tony gripped Clint’s arms as he was hauled effortlessly to his feet and deposited in the wheelchair.

They bickered as they rode the elevator down, Tony barely able to keep himself still in anticipation. Even though he hadn’t been down there since his latest abduction, and didn’t know if anyone had changed anything in his absence Tony couldn’t hold back his excitement. Part of him recognised that maybe he should be a little concerned, more worried about how he was going to react when he got in there and couldn’t see or get his hands on or in anything but just the thought of inhaling the familiar scent and even just dragging his fingers across a piece of machinery was enough for him right now.

‘It is a pleasure to have you back sir.’ Jarvis announced as the doors whirred open and Clint pushed him through, the smell enveloped him immediately. Motor oil, grease and stale coffee with the undercurrent of the cooling system and metal overwhelmed his senses. It was everything he had ever needed in his life. ‘The bots will be most pleased to see you.’

With that the whir of their motors and the squeak of their wheels skidded towards him and Tony could have cried when enthusiastic claws were thrust in to his blanketed lap and nipped at his shaking hands. It was a close call that he didn’t cry, but he managed to hold on to his frayed composure as Dummy and You beeped and clicked at him. ‘I’ve missed you guys.’ He stuttered, closing his fingers around the thick structure of Dummy’s claw and gripping on to it tightly as the bot whirred. ‘Have you been good for Jarvis?’ He asked, smiling when he got little clicks in return.

‘This is adorable.’ Clint laughed behind him, the scrape of a stool against the concrete floor echoing as he sat down. Tony just smiled like a dope and let the robots pluck at him, not even minding when they got a little too rough. He made a mental note to have Jarvis fabricate some new arrows for Clint, the ones he had been saving for his birthday as a thank you for bringing him down here.

‘Do they need any maintenance J?’ Dummy had rolled away and Tony missed him instantly as You pulled the blanket higher on his lap with clumsy jerks.

‘Colonel Rhodes has been keeping them in working order sir, they are currently running proficiently. The colonel also holds a higher standard of hygiene and doesn’t leave half full cups of coffee around for them to bump in to and get in to their engines.’ Clint barked a loud laugh and clapped his hands; Tony just looked appalled over the level of sass Jarvis was giving him. ‘Though they do appear having a mess to clean up, sir.’

‘I’ll bet they do.’ Tony sighed, leaning back in the chair and patting a hand lightly on You’s strut absentmindedly.

‘Oh woah, no dude do not drink whatever Dummy is about to give you.’ Clint’s stool scraped as he shot out of it and intercepted Dummy, the sound of liquid sloshing and splattering on the ground making Tony chuckle. ‘God there’s metal shavings in here man, gross.’

‘That would be a Dummy special, Jarvis warns me when I should and shouldn’t drink something he brings me.’ Smirking, Tony shifted a little on his seat trying to listen a little closer to his surroundings and work out where about he was in the workshop. ‘One time I was so distracted I didn’t hear him warn me though, I threw up for three days after drinking a mixture of motor oil and coolant. Pepper very nearly dragged me to the hospital to have my stomach pumped.’ He answered absently, picking up the faint hums of the computer servers and holograms they must be at his main work desk he thought. Clint was making disgusted noises behind him.

Lifting a shaky hand from You he let wander out and slowly come to a rest against the cool metal of his desk, his fingers danced across the surface as he skittered over small pieces of metal and tech before settling on something small and cylindrical. It had been too long since he was down here last, he had no idea what it was or if it was dangerous but trusted Jarvis to warn him. It was familiar to pick the small pieces up and fondle them a moment as Clint bickered with the bots in the background.

Eventually his hand settled over a familiar screw driver, one he would recognise anywhere; his favourite and his heart gave a sharp pang of misery. Odds were, for the rest of his now very short life, this was as good as it was going to get. Holding on to what he used to be capable of doing and wielding, muscle memory without any of the follow through of the action, he was ecstatic to be down in the lab but there was a small pain in his chest that he couldn’t just work.

‘I meant what I said yesterday Tony,’ Clint broke through his depressive thoughts ‘you are more than just all of this, and I don’t think losing your sight is enough to stop you from getting back in to it. Jarvis is the most advanced AI in this world, he follows you fluently there’s no saying what he couldn’t do at your command. All you need is someone else that knows what they are doing to approve whatever Jarvis draws up; it doesn’t have to stop here.’

After his little breakdown over the stress ball and his own frustrations with himself, Clint had leant in and whispered those words of encouragement to him yesterday and they still struck Tony deeply. It had taken him a very long time to let Pepper and Rhodey in to his life so deeply and to accept that yes, they did care and no, they weren’t going to turn and backstab him. It had gotten even harder after what had happened with Obadiah, turning him caustic and difficult but somehow this rag tag group of misfits had gotten their fingers in him and wormed their way in to his circle of trust but it just, never got any easier to hear how much they cared or believed in him.

 No matter how much they said it, or what they did a small part of his animal brain was expecting hurt and betrayal and wouldn’t allow a full compute of their words or actions towards him even when they weren’t being malicious. So each time they showed their loyalty, it took him twice as long to accept it.

Despite everything he had lost lately though, he would always be thankful for these people even if his brain refused to fully accept that they were safe and didn’t mean him any harm. Apart from maybe Bruce right now, he was still struggling with that and probably would for a very long time.

‘I don’t know I am ready to bring someone else in right now, I wish it was just that simple but it would be a long, arduous process of vetting them and getting thorough background checks and non-disclosures drawn up and signed. Stark Industries is something a lot of people would love to get their hands on, I couldn’t just bring in anyone.’ Just thinking about the process was exhausting; he brought the screwdriver to his lap and fiddled with it, trying to get the clumsy fingers of his other hand to wrap around the handle. ‘But thank you Clint, really.’

A stunned silence filled the room, and Tony blushed at the admission. He meant it, he knew he did but it was so out of character for him he almost wanted to take it back or crack a joke or something to lighten the mood but he just couldn’t find it in him too. Clint dropped a hand down on his good shoulder in a silent gesture of acknowledgment but didn’t say anything else making Tony grateful.

‘Sir Colonel Rhodes is on the line.’

‘Platypus!’ Tony crowed, failing to hide his fond smile when Rhodeys voice filled the cavernous room.

‘Hey Tones,’ He sounded exhausted and a little frazzled, Tony sat a little straighter in concern for his best friend. ‘I’m going out on a limb here but there’s info incoming on your private server, there’s more going on here then the army realises and we need a second set of hands on this. Something isn’t sitting right.’

‘I’ll have Jarvis talk me through it, are you coming back?’ Tony tried to keep the concern from his voice as he heard the ping of an email alert.

‘I have to debrief first but I should be there by tomorrow night if I am lucky, have a beer and pizza waiting for me. Rhodey out.’ The line went dead and Tony slumped back in the wheelchair with a little bit of defeat and worry for his friend.

‘Bring it up J; keep it on lockdown we don’t know whose hands this shouldn’t be in yet.’

‘The data compiled from the suit shows shared heat signatures to other similar locations, without the location of any type of incendiary device or detonation tool. The medical facility was a crater with no evidence of any bodies but recent signs of human habitation and some advanced medical machinery that wasn’t completely destroyed, it appeared whoever had been there had left in a hurry.’

‘Heat signature?’ Tony asked.

‘Three thousand degrees.’

‘Find out how many there have been, compile a list of locations. Only include ones of or above that temperature with no signs of a device to help narrow it down.’ Dropping the screwdriver in his lap, Tony sighed and ran a hand down his face in a sign of exhaustion. It had been three days since he had gotten some proper sleep, the fleeting half hour he had gotten last night before the nightmares was all he had managed, and it was weighing him down.

‘That’s an impressive heat signature.’ Clint commented beside him. ‘There are some pictures, looks kind of like there are shadows or something on the walls of people.’ That caught his attention. ‘If they were close enough to the blast radius when it happened, they would be had been obliterated instantly to leave those behind.’

‘So there was habitation in an abandoned military hospital with expensive machinery and they left in a hurry, why does this sound familiar.’ Tony was connecting the dots in his head, this was to do with Maya and her serum; Extremis. He was sure that when Jarvis finished tracking other explosions of the same nature they would probably have the location of every lab Maya had been conducting her human experimentations.

‘You think this is related?’ Clint asked, voice a little distracted.  

‘We know the serum is unstable, causing the test subject to detonate. It’s a decent explosion in a plant; imagine what it would be like inside a human being, it would be phenomenal. Take that and the fact that they are abandoning ship very quickly, it isn’t something they have control of.’ Clint didn’t respond beside a small hum of agreement. ‘Small mercies they at least have the decency to use abandoned out of the way places to do it.’

‘If this is true, and Bruce is right and there are people walking around out there with this in their bodies we need to bring them in.’ Tony just nodded. ‘A blast that hot could kill hundreds; maybe more in closed quarters, jesus what were they thinking?’  

‘They aren’t thinking that’s the problem, they just see the science and the results.’ This was the darker side of science, the side he and Bruce often debated and had promised each other they would never get involved in. But Bruce had gone and done just that, willingly inserted himself in this scheme and gotten caught up in beyond reason. Tony couldn’t wrap his mind around it at all, how Bruce could think putting something this volatile in his system with the Hulk involved could ever end well.

‘We need to tell the others, we have to bring Maya in now.’ Clint’s voice was rough now, disgusted Tony might even say and he felt a pang of sympathy for him. Even with his knowledge of the serum and the science behind it all, understanding of where these people were coming from it still made him sick to the stomach as well.

‘As soon as they’re back from Shield we can call a meeting, no use bringing them back early before Jarvis finishes finding the rest of the explosions anyway and he’s nearly through the decryption on Bruce’s laptop.’ Clint agreed with him and before Tony was really ready to leave the sanctuary of his lab he was patting the bots and inhaling the scent one last time before they were enclosed back in the elevator.

There was so much going through his head he didn’t think he would be able to settle down and rest when Clint deposited him back on the sofa, swapping the screw driver he was still holding loosely with the stress ball before going to make them lunch. This had gotten so much bugger then any of them had first realised, it had been alarming to know people were walking around the serum in their bloodstreams before, but knowing the extent and devastation of the blast made it all the more worse. The amount of lives that could be lost, the ease of access a terrorist could weaponise the serum in its current state; walking willing bombs that could go anywhere undetected.

Tony hoped that Maya hadn’t branched out for buyers yet, for anyone that would be more interested in the volatile and unstable version of the serum. The world wasn’t prepared for that level of mass destruction and devastation. He hated himself for being so useless right now, for being abducted and rendered impotent to the Avengers when they needed him the most.

It was going to be another long night.   

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys are still enjoying this, let me know what you think!


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Actual plot and moving towards the end now!

‘I can see where Bruce is coming from.’ Natasha broke the silence they had been driving in; Steve had his focus on the streets passing them by as she drove back from Shield. They had borrowed one of Tony’s sports cars to travel and Natasha had called dibs immediately on driving and Steve didn’t have the heart to turn her down and settled in to the passenger seat. Shield had been more than willing to help them out once Steve had explained the situation, Nick hadn’t been too impressed with being kept in the dark about so much but Steve wasn’t too upset about that.

‘What do you mean?’ Steve asked on a sigh, not sure he really wanted to have this conversation right now. Last night had been trying on both him and Tony, after spending over an hour fighting to get him to even sit on the bed let alone lay down on it. After another hour of breathing exercises, building a formidable pile of pillows to prop him on and some meaningless chatter about nothing to put him to sleep; Tony had woken them both screaming and thrashing about from a nightmare and neither of them had gone back to sleep afterwards.

For a minute Natasha just changed gears, pursing her lips as she pulled in and out of lanes. ‘Bruce cares for Tony, a lot.’ Steve wasn’t so sure about that, not if he was capable of going behind all their backs on this. ‘And we all know how much he hates the Hulk, no matter how much good he chooses to do with him it will probably never be enough to make up for all the lives lost and destruction the Hulk has caused. It shouldn’t be that much of a surprise to any of us that he jumped on the first, real chance, he’s had to eliminate the Other Guy and save Tony’s life at the same time. Repay Tony for saving his life in a way, by completing Extremis.’

Shifting in the slightly cramped passenger seat, cursing the small sports car for its lack of adequate leg space, Steve shook his head. ‘Tony told me he didn’t think Bruce was still this caught up on it, that he was okay with where things were at now and didn’t know that he was so unhappy still.’ There had been the most heartbreaking look on his face when he had told Steve that, so much hurt under all the betrayal.

‘If you were smart enough, and had the ability to perfect Extremis and save Tony’s life would you?’  Natasha gave him a side eye, calculating him closely as she switched lanes and turned off towards the personal garage of the Tower reserved for just them so they could come and go without the press or anyone else noticing and following.

‘That’s not fair Natasha, it doesn’t work like that. It isn’t a movie, nothing is ever that easy and you know it. People would still have to die to get there, there would still be human experimentation and things that would go wrong and I know Tony wouldn’t approve that loss of life for the sake of his, no matter how much he or I want him to stay alive and get his sight back.’ And it was that simple, there was no way Tony would stand by and allow someone to dirty their hands just for his life. Steve knew and respected that about him.

Natasha didn’t say anything else until they were in the private elevator and he found himself longing for the music again. Maybe he could talk to Jarvis and ask him about it, he had gotten close with the AI in the last weeks so he might have a good chance at getting his way. ‘If you had blinders on, and had no idea about all of that you would do it, I know I would.’

Steve hadn’t expected that, for Natasha to admit she would utilise Extremis. But if he admitted it to himself, if he hadn’t known all the side effects and what had led to it being created then yes; he would have jumped on it immediately if it meant making Tony happy again. But it was unfair to put that idea in his head, get his on hopes up over it when there was no chance of it actually happening. They couldn’t use Extremis like this, or permit it to go any further not when there were so many lives at risk in its current state. ‘Maybe but that wouldn’t make it any better, the truth always comes out in the end and then we would have to live with that.’

‘Better to live with it then to die.’ Natasha responded, a sad look on her face as the elevators opened and they spotted Tony, Clint and Thor clustered around the dining table together surrounded by the remnants of lunch, it looked like they were having a serious conversation. Before he could say anything else to her she was gone, darting in front of him and moving over to their friends and stealing the last half of Clint’s sandwich.

Stepping up to the table and pressing a soft kiss to Tony’s hair, settling a hand on the back of his neck with a light touch Steve looked down at the papers on the surface with a quiet hello. There were pictures of destroyed buildings and geographic maps with small heat sensor tabs, and official reports from the military. ‘What’s all this?’ He reached for some of the photos, studying them.

‘We can’t say for sure, but we have reason to believe they might be test sites for Extremis.’ Clint answered, taking a sip of his orange juice before pushing more papers towards Steve. Steve pulled his hand back from Tony and grabbed them, shuffling them together as he leafed through them. They were military reports, recon missions after detonation. They didn’t tell him much but the maps coincided with them, sharing satellite image information about the heat and blast radius, they all shared the same conclusion though; despite the size of the explosion there were no traces of a bomb.

It kept coming back to that same theory, a bomb without a bomb.

Pulling a seat and sinking down in to it wearily, stifling a yawn, Steve put the thick pages down and buried his face in his hands. This just kept getting bigger and bigger every day and he was beginning to feel a little in over his head with the lack of proper information and leads for them to follow. These were all random positions, never in the same radius and all abandoned facilities. There would be no tracking who had been there, not with the amount of damage left behind from the explosions.

‘What makes you think this is Extremis?’ Steve asked, pulling more satellite images closer and trying not to think about how Tony had got a hold of these, it was hard to turn a blind eye to his lack of regard to national security sometimes.

‘All the heat signatures match up, no sign of a device and the buildings have been abandoned very quickly. Whoever is funding this, they have a lot of money to spare.’ Tony answered him; Steve looked down at him and frowned when he spotted a smudge of grease underneath his left eye. Looking down at Tony’s hands he was surprised to see more small smudges on his fingers and across his knuckles, what had he been doing?  

‘Clint phone Phil and debrief him, they’re happy to get on board with the hunt for Maya on this one and I want them kept in the loop on this. Top priority is still Hansen; she holds all the answers to this in my eyes.’ Steve ordered, accepting the tall glass of juice Thor placed in front of him. ‘Someone needs to talk with Bruce again, or we need to find out somehow how many people are walking around out there with this inside them. Jarvis I need to you to do a sweep, looking for any mentions of Extremis on the internet, gets your hooks out and make sure it’s not on the market yet.’ Seeing the devastation of the explosions put him on edge, they couldn’t have this happen in public.

‘Aye aye Captain.’ Clint chirped, pushing his chair back and jumping to his feet pulling his phone out at the same time, he was talking in to it before he had even stepped in to the elevator.

‘Natasha are you still in touch with some of your informants?’ The red head nodded, giving him a passive stare. ‘Get in touch with them, see if you can find out if anyone else knows about Extremis on the ground we cannot afford for this to hit other hands.’ Natasha just nodded, slumping a little in her seat as she grabbed Clint’s half empty glass and drained it. It had been a busy day for all of them; he could see the pinches of exhaustion in the corner of her eyes.

With a mock salute she was up and out of her seat, all signs of being tired gone as she fished the keys out of her pocket again and vanished. It felt good to finally being doing something proactive, to have a plan that he could put in to place and give orders to be followed. Only problem was, he didn’t have something their resident alien God to do and he cast Thor a sympathetic smile. ‘Guess we are on standby till the end game.’ Thor just shrugged and shoved a sandwich in his mouth, chewing messily.

‘What about me?’ Tony piped up, a cheeky smile on his face as Steve’s attention went back to the grease on his face. It wasn’t just on his hands either; now that he was actually looking he could see it on his shirt and smudged against the soft blue of his blanket.

‘You, Mister are going to explain to me why you are covered in grease.’ The blush and surprise that filled Tony’s face was comical, his mouth fell open a little as he stammered around an attempt to respond but Steve saved him from the effort and pressed a small kiss against cool, chapped lips. ‘At least tell me Clint stayed in there with you, and that you didn’t let him touch anything dangerous.’ Tony’s sagged then, obviously having expected to be scolded but Steve couldn’t find it in himself to do it. Clint would have pulled him aside and told him if something had gone wrong.

‘I can’t promise he didn’t touch or pocket anything, but he did stay with me it was nice.’ Tony shrugged, a soft smile on his worn out features. ‘Clint did save me from one of Dummy’s toxic smoothies though, so don’t be too hard on him for taking me down.’

‘I’m not mad.’ Steve promised, giving Tony another quick kiss before standing up and fetching a wet wipe. Perching on the edge of the seat he turned Tony around to face him and wiped away the grease from his face and then took his time on his hands. He loved Tony’s hands, second best to his eyes.

The amount of time he had spent watching those hands, probably the most active part of Tony who used them to speak and speculate, create and design such delicate things. Steve loved holding on to them, rubbing the callouses and feeling them catch on his skin. So he took this small, private moment with his back to Thor to massage around the digits and press his thumb in to pressure points on Tony’s palm while he scrubbed away the grease. When he looked back up in to Tony’s face the effort was worth it, the almost dopy smile on his face and half open eyes all the reward he needed.

‘Just letting you know, the blanket is filthy and I am going to have to wash it before it comes back on the bed.’ Tony groaned and clutched it in one hand, holding it against his leg. Steve found it endearing, secretly appreciating the fact that Tony was so taken and obsessed with something that had once been his. ‘If I put it in the wash now, it should be ready by the time we hit the hay.’ Tony relented with a small noise of discontent as Steve pulled it away from his lap.

Something clattered to the floor and Steve looked down in surprise at the screw driver, raising his eyebrows as he bent down to pick it up and twirl it in his fingers. Either Tony had forgotten he had tucked it in the blanket or was trying to downplay he had, looking away from him and tapping his fingers against his bare knee. ‘This isn’t coming to bed with us either.’ He warned, dropping it back in Tony’s lap and heading for the laundry room.

Normally Tony paid for a laundry service for the whole team, but early on when they had all come together in the tower, Steve had kicked a fit up over the waste of money and a few days later Pepper had shown him the new, small but modern laundry room just off the kitchen. He was a little ashamed of how he had reacted now, but appreciated the small room none the less. It was nice sometimes, when he allowed his washing to build up to go in there and spend some time on his own sorting out loads and folding it. Call him old fashioned.

 Later that night, after Clint had tried and failed to convince Bruce to come down for a team dinner and everyone had gone their own ways, Steve stopped back by the laundry for the blanket and wrapped around his shoulders enjoy the warm comfort of it around him as he and Tony headed to the penthouse.

Stepping out on to the threshold he held his breath a little, hoping they wouldn’t be faced with a repeat of last night. Tony was pliant and calm in his hands as they changed in to pyjamas, sharing small talk as they dressed and Steve piled pillows on one side of the bed and pulled back the covers. It was still an adjustment period for him, sharing the large bed with another man and waking up in the morning with Tony wrapped awkwardly around him with the leg cast. But it was probably one of the nicest things he had ever experienced since waking up from the ice.

‘You ready for bed?’ Steve asked a hand on Tony’s shoulder for support as he hopped out of the chair and wobbled for a minute on one leg as he found his balance. Steve smiled when he noticed the screwdriver gripped laxly in his hand. ‘I thought I said the screwdriver wasn’t invited to the slumber party.’

Not in a million years would Steve have pegged Tony for a blusher, but there it was again creeping up his pale cheeks and burnishing his ears. Reaching out he took the tool and placed it on the bedside table, just within reach before helping Tony sink down on to the plush mattress, silently grateful he wasn’t putting up a fight tonight and then feeling guilty for thinking that way. It wasn’t Tony’s fault, he knew that but he was exhausted and didn’t think he had it in him to fight it tonight and would have conceded to sleeping on the sofa.

Once Tony was situated on the pillows, nearly completely propped upright with a sleepy smile on his face Steve went around and turned all the lights off, asking Jarvis to keep the windows visible as he crawled in beside his partner, wrapping a shoulder around Tony and pulling him against his bare chest.

When the nights went smoothly, and they were able to fall in to an easy routine this was favourite part, Tony would often scoot as close as his injuries would allow and lay his head on Steve’s chest just over his heart while Steve’s spare hand settled around the arc reactor. The ethereal, pale blue lit up Tony’s face, casting him in a glow that softened his features. It was comforting to feel the warm heat and hum of the reactor under his fingers, assuring him that Tony was alive and warm beside him.

‘Sometimes I wish we could just stay like this.’ Steve murmured in to the dark, running his fingers lightly around the fresh scar tissue on Tony’s shoulder, it was puckered and rough against the smoother olive skin. There were so many new scars on Tony now, before all of this they had seen each other naked. Not by choice but when they had been forced in to a biohazard tent and forced to wash down after a mission, and Steve had appreciated the very tanned expanse of nearly immaculate skin. There had been some scarring, most likely from his time in Afghanistan and recently as Iron Man but it had been minimal.

But now there were a whole map of new scars, ones he wanted to track with his mouth and kiss better. It had come so close to that the other morning, even if he hated himself every time he thought about it for not pulling away and thinking of how Tony might have felt in the moment. For now he was just happy to hold him though, enjoying the slow movements of his facial features under the glow of the reactor.

‘Can’t save the world from bed.’ Tony chuckled, turning his cheek a little closer to Steve’s chest and tickling his skin with his hot breath. The feel of his lips touching the area close to his nipples sent electric shocks across his skin.

‘I’d sure make a damn good effort at it.’ Steve buried his noise in Tony’s hair, inhaling coconuts and grease smiling when Tony chuckled at him. ‘You gonna try an get some sleep tonight?’ He mumbled, pressing his lips in to his scalp.

Tony went a little tense under his shoulder, but didn’t pull away so he figured it was okay. ‘But then I would miss this.’ This time it was Steve’s turn to laugh, a little too loud when Tony ran a shaky hand across his stomach with stumbling movements and jerky fingers.  

‘Go to sleep Tony.’ Steve whispered in to Tony’s hair before sinking back in to the pillows and closing his eyes, running his fingers up and down Tony’s arm until eventually they both fell asleep.

Waking from a pleasant dream, Steve blinked his gritty eyes several times before looking around for the alarm clock he had set up on his side of the bed but the familiar light wasn’t there. He could have sworn he heard the opening blare of an alarm before he had woken up properly, but the room was silent. An uneasy feeling settled in the pit of his stomach.

‘Jarvis what time is it?’ He looked down on Tony, happy to see he was still asleep at least, maybe he was imagining what he had heard. ‘Jarvis?’ He called, when he got no reply. When there was still no response, he threw the covers back, looking out the large floor to ceiling buildings to see if there was anything out of place but the cityscape was still twinkling beneath them.

Standing up he walked around the bed and shook Tony on the shoulder, ‘hey, Tony come on wake up.’ He called, body tense and on edge.

‘You told me go to sleep, why are you waking me up.’ Tony grumbled, pushing himself up against the pillows clumsily and rubbing at his glassy eyes with a frown on his face. ‘What’s going on, what time is it?’ He let out a jaw cracking yawn.

‘I don’t know, Jarvis isn’t responding.’ Steve said, moving across the room now to grab his shield out of the large walk in wardrobe.

‘Jarvis buddy, talk to me.’ Tony sounded stressed now, when the room remained silent. ‘Now isn’t a good time to throw a hissy fit J, or to take some down time come on what’s going on?’ Steve grabbed the wheelchair and moved it over to bed, ready to move Tony at the first sign of trouble as he padded over to the manual light switch and flicking it on but nothing happened and the room stayed in darkness, he hissed out a curse. ‘What, what is it?’ There was frustration and anxiety in Tony’s voice now.

‘Powers out, could an EMP take down Jarvis?’ Steve threw back the covers from Tony and shifted him over to the edge of the bed, letting him sit there for a minute and try to get his bearings but Tony was shaking his head.

‘Is the reactor still going?’ Tony asked, a little bit of panic entering his tones as he pawed at the shirt he was wearing to try and get at the arc reactor, hand shaking as he dug at the material.

‘It’s fine, stop that.’ Taking his hand, Steve squeezer it reassuringly as he looked around in confusion, there were no signs of an outside force through the windows so he turned back to Tony and pulled his against him a little, offering some emotional support. ‘I need to get to the others, but I don’t want to leave you on your own.’ He admitted, preparing for an outburst from the engineer but it never came.

‘No, no leave me here put me in a wardrobe or the bathroom or something go get the others we need to be together try their cell phones.’ Steve kicked himself for not thinking about the phones and padded around the bed, grabbing the thin machine and tapping at it, wincing in the harsh light when the screen came on. His hopes fell through when a little no signal warning blared on the screen.

‘No signal, whoever this is must be blocking the towers.’ Tony groaned, slumping a little as he shut his eyes. ‘You okay with the wardrobe?’ Steve asked, walking over to the small room and pushing the door open and making a small space at the back of the closet behind some suits. He went back to the bed for a blanket and pillow and put them down on the ground, trying to make it as comfortable as possible.

Before he had the chance to turn back around and get Tony though the windows cracked, large spider webs spreading out from the epicentre where something large had lodged in the thickened barrier before another one hit and the bedroom was filled with the sound of shattering glass. Tony startled and slipped off the bed, hitting the floor with a thump as he tossed his head around in a vain attempt to work out what was going on. Rushing back in the room Steve stumbled back when a spotlight flooded them, slithers of thick cable dropping from above as people in black combat gear rappelled down in to the bedroom.

‘Stay down!’ Steve shouted to Tony as he engaged them, throwing his shield at the first three people to drop down on the carpet and sending them back through the window. The next three were quicker, running forward and tackling him to the ground before the shield could get back to him. Using his lowered stance to his advantage, Steve swept his leg out knocking two of them to the ground and jumping up to slam his fist in to the third as more men dropped from the cables and came in to the room.

Casting his eyes around Steve tried to seek out Tony, panicking when he saw two of the men advancing on him where he was moving away from the bed and trying to blindly drag himself towards the bathroom. ‘Tony!’ He shouted, swinging the shield around and bringing it down on a helmeted head as he tried to move forward but the men had Tony surrounded now, reaching out for him. ‘Right in front, two men!’ He bit out, dodging a while haymaker and following through with one of his own. He just needed a little space to launch the shield, and then he could take down the men going after Tony.

Next time he got Tony in his sights, he was surprise to see one of the men staggering back and gripping his leg as he swore loudly. The glint of the screw driver caught Steve’s eye as Tony plunged it forward again, wielding it like a weapon against the men. Taking a blow to the ribs, Steve focused back on what he was doing and brought the shield down again and again until the man went still under him, turning with a spinning kick to floor another one. They just kept coming, and Tony was shouting now but he couldn’t see him, there were so many men in the room.

They should have gotten out of the bedroom quicker, as soon as Steve realised something was wrong he should have grabbed Tony and ran. As he fought the men off, he berated himself over and over again struggling to get an eye on Tony when he saw a naked leg kicking out. Tony was trying to hold his own, Steve realised that when he finally got a view on him but with the cast and his shoulder injury he was slowing down rapidly and it wasn’t long until one of the men got a solid punch in, stunning him.

All it did was spur Steve on though, making him fight harder. Taking a few steps backwards he launched himself up on the bed behind Tony and threw the shield with enough force to knock the men out for the count. Tony was panting, his nose bleeding heavily as he sagged against the wall. ‘Try to get to the bathroom, ten more feet to the right; don’t come out till the fighting stops or I come in and get you.’ Steve ordered, grabbing the shield and throwing at again before Tony could reply.

‘We need to take him down.’ If it wasn’t for the serum, and his enhanced hearing Steve wouldn’t have picked up the softly spoken words but it wasn’t warning enough before they were withdrawing weapons and slamming them in to him. Steve didn’t think he had ever felt something like this before, his whole body went tight and tense as a scream tore through his throat. Electricity was pulsing through his abdomen, bringing him to his knees.

Struggling to draw in a breath, lungs seizing around the static Steve tried to force himself back to his feet casting his eyes around wildly for Tony before alighting on him, being held down against the floor as a needle was plunged in to his thigh. Tony’s mouth was open like he might have been screaming, but Steve couldn’t hear him, could barely see him anymore as his vision blacked out and he dropped down to his stomach. As Tony went still on the floor, Steve struggled once more against the super charged stun guns with a horrible scream before something connected with the back of his head and he dropped back to the floor.

With hazy vision fading in an out, Steve struggled to come back and focus as they picked Tony up and slung him over their shoulder like a sack of potatoes but he couldn’t move or form a single word or thought. With a slow, lazy blink he let his head drop on the carpet and fell in the darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger sorry guys! I will do my best to update over the weekend!


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning there may be further delays. I just started a new job and I am trying to adjust to a new routine. This got a lot bigger then I was expecting it too as well but we are nearly in the home run here and I don't expect there will be many more chapters to come.

Looking around the glowing workshop, Steve knew he had to be dreaming. The large space was full of action, the hydraulics whirring at workstations as things were mechanically assembled, the hum of holograms spinning as they configured small engines as Dummy and You whirred around the room. Then there was Tony, so healthy and full of life as he stood in front of Steve holding a broken Stark Pad in his hands giving him a deadpan look.

It was overwhelming how beautiful Tony looked like this, grease smeared across his cheekbone and mahogany locks artistically tangled atop his head like hands had gone through them numerous times. Olive skin wasn’t wan and sunken, eyes alight with mischief and disbelief as he stared straight at Steve and quirked and eyebrow as he gestured with the Stark Pad, well-muscled and definitely not emaciated arms flexing as he waved it around.

This was one of the first times Steve had come down to the workshop; he had accidentally crushed the home button for the tiny tablet and had brought it straight to its creator for repair. It was the first time Tony had given him his undivided attention as they had squabbled over how it had happened and Steve had gotten the idea in his head that if he broke pieces of tech; he could spend time with Tony. His heart fluttered in his chest as Tony came up to him, Steve wanted to reach out and pull him in to a hug and feel that full body in his arms so different to the Tony they had.

‘I can’t fix this.’ Tony was stopped right in front of him now, all Steve would have to do is lift his arms and he could touch but when he lifted his eyes from the shattered glass of the Stark Pad his heart wrenched in his chest. That Tony was gone, replaced with the sickly ashen one staring at him with glassy eyes as the tablet dropped from his hands. ‘There’s no coming back from this.’ Tony stumbled as the pale blue light in his chest flickered and Steve was swamped with panic as he reached out for him but he was too late and Tony slipped through his hands, vanishing.

Wrenching out a sob, Steve twirled around to look for him and they were in the penthouse with broken windows and a cold wind whistling through the interior. ‘Tony?’ Steve moved to the windows and looked out, vertigo spinning around him from this height as the city glittered yellow underneath his feet.

‘ _Steve!’_

Snapping his eyes open with a jolt, breath coming in short gasps Steve shot up from where he was sprawled on the floor shivering in the cold breeze. Natasha was kneeling in front of him, hands firm on his shoulders as she studied him concern in her eyes. It came back to him as he took in the broken windows, the disarray the bedroom was in. ‘Tony.’ He pushed Natasha away and staggered to his feet, grasping on to the tallboy to support him when the room spun.

‘What the hell happened?’ Steve turned to the windows, where Clint was rappelling down one of the cables by the windows and swinging himself in to the room, his feet scrunching on the glass as he rushed back in. Natasha was still watching him, making Steve feel a little uneasy as his stomach roiled and his head pounded in sympathy to the ache there. ‘Why isn’t Jarvis responding, he should have alerted us!’ Steve looked at Clint in confusion for a minute trying to will his brain back in to gear so he could make better sense of the situation.

‘They jammed the system somehow, shut down the power.’ Steve could remember that much, waking up to the darkness in the bedroom and the missing glow of his alarm clock before he had woken Tony. God, they had gotten Tony. ‘We were preparing to move out, I was going to hide Tony but we weren’t fast enough I hesitated.’ His heart sunk with the revelation, his own feelings and fear for Tony’s wellbeing had stalled him in making the proper calls. ‘They took him.’ Natasha’s eyes narrowed and Clint’s shoulders sagged as Thor came in through the window and stalked towards them.

‘I lost the helicopter they moved through the clouds and I lost my visual.’ Steve just stared at Thor, not quiet comprehending what he was saying. His muscles ached where the electricity had coursed through him, his stomach tender where they had made contact with his bare skin. Steve belatedly released he was only wearing boxers, which wasn’t helping the small shivers caused by the cold breeze. ‘I apologise for my failures.’

‘We need to get Jarvis back online.’ Natasha walked over to the bed and pulled Tony’s claimed mink from the pile before coming back to Steve and dragging it over his bare shoulders before she leaned in close to him, ‘we’ll get him back, we did it before we can do it again.’ Her breath was warm as she whispered to him reassuringly to him a hand closing supportively around his bicep before she pulled away. ‘They came prepared if they were able to shut down Jarvis and the tower,’ she gave him a sympathetic look ‘and were able to take down Captain America.’

‘No easy feat.’ Thor agreed, crossing his massive arms across his chest Mjolnir swinging in his hand a serious look troubling his face. It took Steve a moment to realise what was out of place right now, why Thor looked so funny standing there like that when it became blaringly obvious. They were in their pyjamas still, Steve knew he shouldn’t laugh about it, really he did but his nerves were shot and he was suddenly full of anxious energy. Thor looked ridiculous in a large, brightly coloured one piece set and the giggle slipped through.

Thor, Prince of Asgard dressed in a onesie ladies and gentleman.

Natasha quirked a brow at him and even then Steve found it hard to take her serious now, those damn Hello Kitty faces winking at him from her nightie. ‘Clint take Thor and check on Bruce, he might not be aware something has happened yet and then get in touch with Shield we need them in on this.’ Steve appreciated that she was taking control right now; he didn’t think he would be capable under the weight of guilt and slight hysteria that this was happening again. It seemed all the more worse that Tony had been right beside him when it happened this time, all he had needed was to cross the room and this could have been avoided.   

Something glinted in the moonlight by the bathroom door and Steve hurried over, eyes alighting on the screwdriver Tony had smuggled from the workshop. There was blood on the metal head, sticky as it dried and Steve remembered Tony had been managing to hold his own against all odds and felt a small well of pride alight in his chest. Even without his sight and handicapped by his injuries, Tony had still been able to defend himself where Steve had failed him.

‘Steve.’ Natasha came up behind him and looked down on the screwdriver with a wrinkled nose. ‘I know this is hard, and you are blaming yourself but we need Captain America right now, not Steve Rogers if we are going to get him back.’ She was right, and Steve felt bad for laughing inappropriately and not taking the front seat on this but his mind was still reeling about how this had happened.

They had obviously come prepared; those stun guns were heavy duty and would have put a normal person down for good if used. They had known there was a possibility of engaging him, but it rankled Steve not knowing whether they had expected him in the penthouse. Publically Steve Rogers and Tony Stark were not an item, there was no reason for them to assume Steve would be in the penthouse let alone in Tony’s bedroom. But if they had known, someone had been feeding inside information to them.

 _Bruce_ , his head happily supplied him but Steve didn’t think that could be the answer here, they had deliberately withheld all technology from Bruce so he didn’t have a way of getting in contact with Hansen and he honestly didn’t have it in him to believe Bruce would take the double crossing this far.

Turning his back to Natasha with a firm nod, Steve moved over to his bedside and pulled out a t-shirt and pair of track pants slipping in to them. ‘Thor said helicopter?’ Natasha nodded. ‘Air space above the tower is restricted, might not to hurt to start there either.’ He threw the blanket back on the bed, missing its comfort and scent of Tony immediately but compartmentalised that and pulled the shirt over his aching body. The material rubbed against the raw skin on his stomach, making him pluck it away with a wince.

They had to use the stairs to get down to the common floor, the tower was still without power and by the time they got down Steve’s head was pounding a staccato beat against his temples and his muscles were screaming for relief from the wound up tension they were bundled in.  Stepping in to the dining room Steve made a beeline for the fridge and pulled out a few bottles of water to put on the table before draining his own.

Clint and Thor came in a few minutes as Steve and Natasha were collecting all the papers they had been pouring over yesterday and strategizing. Looking up Steve felt his face fall, Bruce wasn’t with them and Clint was making a studious effort not to look him in the eye as she shrugged his shoulders. ‘Banner was no longer in his rooms.’ Thor declared, face tight with anger. ‘I would not like to think one of our own could be involved in this.’ Me either buddy, Steve thought.

‘We can’t rule out he wasn’t taken against his will, or coerced in to this.’ Natasha reached for one of the water bottles, face tight with apprehension. ‘I’ll go down to the workshop, see if there is a way to get Jarvis back online.’ She looked at Clint. ‘Did you get a hold of Shield?’

Clint shook his head, pulling his phone from the pocket of his hoodie. ‘Signals are still jammed.’ He waved the little up screen at them, the same little message Steve had gotten blinking on the screen.

Squaring his shoulders and stepping back in to the role as team leader, Steve jutted his jaw out and started to speak. ‘Thor you know where Shield headquarters are, fly out there and inform them of the situation. We might need someone else to help Natasha get Jarvis back, Clint I want you back in the penthouse. Whatever broke those windows didn’t come from the roof, look for any available vantage points and then head over there, see if they left anything behind.’ Clint nodded to him. ‘Check the bedroom too, it’s a long shot but they might have dropped something. I know I knocked some men out, there could be something.

‘I’ll go to Bruce’s room, do a sweep in case there was something we missed and he did have access to Hansen somehow. I don’t want to accuse someone before we have the full story, but right now we have to operate under the assumption that Bruce is with them on this one.’ Nobody wanted to meet his eyes this time, gazes averted as they just nodded in response. ‘Gear up, then we assemble back here in under the hour to debrief again.’

They scattered after that, and Steve found himself loathe to be alone with his own thoughts and the haunting image of Tony in his dream as he moved quickly down the stairs seeing the arc reactor flickering whenever he blinked. By the time he go to the bottom of the large concrete staircase where he needed to be, his breaths were coming shorter and his brain was flooded with panic as his thoughts spiralled out of control, a million what-ifs pouring in out of nowhere all of a sudden.

What if they didn’t get to Tony in time, if he went without his medication, if they triggered off a flashback and he couldn’t get his breathing under control, what if they strapped him down to another bed or didn’t follow his fluid chart and his heart couldn’t handle it? This inevitably led him to the memory of Tony on the dining room floor, the team working hard to bring him back from the cardiac arrest.

Would they know what to do if that happened to Tony again, if his heart just decided to stop again? If Bruce was with them, he would know how to react and what to do but Tony didn’t have any of his medications on him, or the rescue breathing treatments when he got overwhelmed and his lungs refused to work. Would someone sit with him through a nightmare or would they just laugh and make it worse for him?

Sagging against the concrete wall with his knees pulled to his chest, Steve struggled to force the many scenarios his unhelpful brain was producing for him, away. This wasn’t the time for that; they didn’t have the time for this. Natasha had told him they needed Captain America for this, and as much as he detested putting himself in two personalities she had a point right now. He needed to be level headed and sure of him, not allowing himself to fall to the weakness of his own mind. Not when Tony needed him.

Forcing wobbly legs under his weight, Steve pushed away from the wall and forced the heavy door open and pushed in to Bruce’s floor. The first thing he noticed, the door had been manually overrode. The security panel that had been hidden in the wall was torn off with wires hanging out, sparking on and off. All the doors that ran off electricity in the tower had built in release switches inside the panel, whoever had come down for Bruce hadn’t known this, going for brute force.

Pushing the door open Steve stepped inside and cast his eyes around the dark, there were no city lights coming in from behind the thick curtains closed over the windows and it set for a gloomy atmosphere as he walked in. Bruce had cleaned up since had been in here last, it was more minimalist now but there were no obvious signs of struggled until he went in the bedroom. The door was open all the way, resting against the wall as Steve cast his eyes around looking for anything amiss.

Clint might have just stuck his head in to the room, noticed Bruce wasn’t there and just gone with that but Steve noticed the hastily kicked back blankets and the spilt glass of water on the lush carpet and most importantly, Bruce’s glasses still resting on the mattress next to a dog eared book. There was no way Bruce would have left without those; it was often a joke that the Hulk didn’t cure how blind he was without the lenses.

This made Steve believe that Bruce wasn’t actively involved in this, spreading a little much needed relief through his system as he considered the possible fallout this would have caused on the team as a whole.

Pulling out his phone and flicking on the app for the little inbuilt flashlight, that Steve still marvelled over sometimes; he cast it over the floor and the bedding in search of anymore clues before pocketing the glasses and jogging back upstairs.

Nobody was in the dining room yet when Steve stepped in, finally starting to feel a little more human as he took a breather and sat down with a protein bar, letting the serum work its wonders on his abused stomach muscles and aching head. It felt wrong to be sitting down and eating right now, but there was nothing else he could physically do at this stage. Without a location they were sitting ducks, twiddling their thumbs until something they could work with came up and spurred them back in to action.

Steve loved forming plans of action, battle strategy and battle tactics but research wasn’t his strong suit. Those jobs fell to Natasha and Clint who were better suited and equipped for undercover stealth missions where information collecting was required, or when it was a little more sophisticated Tony and Jarvis would get on board and supply tech support and delve deeper in to the internet. Steve was more comfortable reviewing the amassed information and using it to formulate strategy.

‘My apologies for failing to sound the alarm, Captain.’ Steve about jumped out of his skin when Jarvis broke the silence, clipped British tones somehow betrayal a hint of guilt as he apologised. 

‘You did what you could Jarvis, it’s good to have you back.’ Tony always told him off when he looked at the small cameras in the ceiling but he couldn’t help but do it and give Jarvis a small smile of support. ‘Do you know what happened?’

‘Whilst pursuing the firewall on Doctor Banner’s laptop a new email notification came through and opened automatically, a virus was released that forced me out of the system and disabled all support and power systems. Agent Romanoff has assisted me in removing the virus and the transmission device blocking cell signals; I have regained full control of the tower.’  

‘Good to know we have you back; I have a few jobs for you already.’ Rubbing his hands over his face, Steve dragged them over his hair before stretching out some of the kinks and getting down to business. ‘We need access to any unauthorised use of air space above the tower, check any security footage in the area that could give us a look at the helicopter itself has a look for any markers.’

‘Of course Captain.’

Looking down at the papers in front of him again, Steve sighed and pushed them around to reveal the satellite images of laboratories. While he understood the need for so many different, scattered locations for what Extremis was capable of Steve couldn’t help but think they were overlooking something. Maya Hansen would need a stable, long term laboratory to create the serum in. She wouldn’t want to risk losing all of her work in one of those explosions if it could be helped; Maya had to have another more permanent space.

‘I got Jarvis back, kudos to whoever made that virus though it was hard and fast in getting the job done.’ Natasha slipped in to the seat beside him, dressed in her black body suit now, somehow managing to look less lethal without the Hello Kitty. ‘I heard back from some of my people, there’s been some murmurs but no direct mention. Mostly word that some scientist is looking for lab rats and willing to pay very well.’ That was something they could work with.

‘I might have something to look in to as well.’ Steve said, pulling the images closer. ‘Maya Hansen wouldn’t have her whole life’s work somewhere it could be lost in the blink of an eye, I think she might have a personal lab somewhere else.’ Natasha nodded in agreement. ‘The only question is whether she’s operating in America or outside of it.’

‘We can look in to places that hire out laboratories, or for any privately owned ones that in use at the moment within the country something makes me think she isn’t overseas.’ Natasha was usually right on these things so Steve silently agreed with her. ‘While that’s happening I’ll put my feelers out, find out how to get a hold of whoever is looking for guinea pigs. We are too public on this; if push comes to shove and we need someone to go under we will have to bring someone else in.’

‘Hopefully it won’t have to come to that, I don’t want more people in the crossfire on this.’ At least they had something more solid to work with now; Steve thought as Natasha pulled her phone out and tapped rapidly on the screen. ‘I also don’t think Bruce had anything to do with tonight, I looked through his room.’ Natasha’s fingers paused for a second but she didn’t look up. ‘Someone forced their way in to his rooms, his glasses were left behind.’  

Natasha let a small, rare sigh as she nodded never taking her eyes or fingers off her phone. ‘We still don’t know why he went with them though; the Hulk could have put a stop to all of this.’

‘No use speculating at the moment, it won’t get us anywhere and it’s a dangerous game to play.’ Steve remembered his small freak out in the staircase, knowing just how well the brain could pull one over on you. ‘Jarvis?’ He called, wishing he had some of the grace of ease Tony had when he spoke with his AI.

‘Captain.’

‘Do a sweep of any privately and publically owned labs that are available for hire, narrow down the search between the last six months and now. We believe Maya Hansen has a lab here for her private work. How are you coming on that clearance and security information?’ He barely resisted the urge to run his hands through his hair again as Natasha continued to tap away on his phone beside him. Steve pushed away from the table instead, deciding they were going to need coffee if they were going to function for this.

‘I have been able to gather a serial number on the helicopter and am currently running it through the database; I will notify you when I make a connection. Agent Coulson has just notified me that he is on his way.’ Jarvis sounded a little frazzled, Steve didn’t know if it was possible to over work a computer program or how to ask Jarvis if he needed a break. After all he had just recovered from a virus, did computers get sick the way humans did? Steve made a mental note to ask Tony about it when they got him back.

Switching the coffee machine on, Steve hesitated for a moment by the fridge before making the decision to cook breakfast. Reaching for the large carton of eggs, (seriously between Steve and Thor it was a surprise Tony hadn’t been bankrupt on groceries alone) and the bacon wrapped in wax paper at the bag giving it a sniff before setting it on the bench. It felt good to have something to do, have his body in action as he moved between scrambling eggs and flipping bacon while he monitored the toaster.

A few months ago, after a particularly bad bender Tony had installed a sentient AI in the toaster and it was prone to outbursts which had resulted in various toasted objects being propelled across the kitchen or burnt to a crisp. Tony had never found the time to get around to fixing it, or as Clint had begged after his third bagel had been rejected and burnt, remove it. Seemed like today was Steve’s lucky day though, as the toaster behaved and gave him perfectly golden pieces of thick bread without acting up.

By the time the coffee was ready and platters were filled with eggs and bacon, Clint, Thor and Coulson were seated around the table looking haggard as Natasha kept going with her phone, a tight look on her face as she rapidly typed. Putting the plates and carafe down in the centre, Steve headed back for plates and cutlery before settling back down at the table. Clint was staring at the bacon longingly as he reached for some toast first, an impressed smile flickering over his lips when he realised it wasn’t burnt as Thor piled food on his own plate.

Nudging Natasha with a fork, Steve made her a plate and put it in front of her with a cup of coffee. She barely looked up to smile thanks at him before skewering a thick cut piece of bacon and shoving it in his mouth. Since Tony had been diagnosed with CHF they had held back on the bacon, it was too fatty and greasy for Tony so they had all abstained for his sake but Steve figure right now they needed all the morale they could get and had cooked it as a treat and to save it going off. It still floored him sometimes, knowing how readily people of today threw out perfectly good food or allowed it to go off in the back of the fridge just to go out and buy more. It challenged his old time sensibilities of growing up in a war torn depression to waste so much food.

Nobody spoke as they ate, making short work of the abundance of food Steve had prepared. Even Coulson had indulged in some, usually preferring to just stick to coffee when he was over, unless there was something more impressive on offer. It felt odd to be doing this right now, the sun was only just starting to come up as they were finishing and there was obvious gap where Tony normally babbled at them over breakfast, mind going a mile a minute.

But if they walked around with empty stomachs on little to no sleep, they weren’t going to get very far. They would be useless in getting their team mate back in one piece, Steve just hoped this time they wouldn’t be too late and get there just in time to watch Tony die again. There were only so many times, Steve thought; that he could he could go through that.

Right now all they could do is wait though, and Steve knew how hard that was going to be for everyone so when breakfast was finished and everyone had full stomachs he convinced Clint to help him with the dishes to pass more time discussing how the toaster had been suspiciously nice this morning and how they should watch out next time they used it. They were back in the dining room discussing clean-up plans for the penthouse with Coulson when Natasha and Jarvis both announced that they had found something and Steve couldn’t have been more thankful then  in that moment.

It was go time.


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for the delay! Going back to full time work after a three year break with a heart condition and chronic illness and all the drama with the recent surgery and following issues that still haven't resolved from that, maintaining my home and social life I haven't had a lick of time to work on this. All I do is sleep, work and attend doctors appointments.   
> So please bare with me on this despite the lengthy delays between chapters! I think there will only be three or so chapters left at this point so I will do my hardest to work on them as soon as possible!

Coming back to awareness was a slow process, everything felt like it was thick with cotton wool and pooled with molasses. Threatened with the overwhelming sensation of panic Tony forced himself to take deep slow breaths, fighting against the urge to open his eyes and look at where he was before he tried to move and panic did overwhelm him. There were thick straps holding him against a mattress, he was tied down to another bed again he could feel them across his chest, waist and thighs with what felt like padded bands around his wrists and ankles.

How had this happened to him again?

Tony wheezed harshly, thrashing his body despite the known futility of the movements until a hand was suddenly pushing down on his bare shoulder and someone was urging him to calm down. Somewhere under the panic he recognised the voice but he couldn’t make sense of who it was as they guided him through the breathing exercises and let him and squeeze down on their hand until he felt okay enough to try and make sense of what was going on again.

‘That’s it Tony, deep breaths just like that.’

Tony’s brain finally made the connection with that soft, slightly hoarse voice; Bruce. What was he doing here, and why did he have Tony strapped down to a bed? Had he had another panic attack, wasn’t he just in bed with Steve battling his brain against going to sleep so he didn’t have to live through another nightmare?

When the small, calloused hand slipped out of his but the restraints didn’t come away Tony felt himself slipping back in to the panic and anxiety again until the memory kicked in and he remembered the sounds of breaking glass, his own muscle memory to defend himself and vibranium contacting with flesh. Steve’s voice as he fought, sharp sting in the flesh of his neck.

Someone had taken him, a-fuckin-gin.

How was this even his life anymore? After Afghanistan, and Obie trying to take his reactor the kidnappings had slowed right down as his security team was able to pre-empt them and stop them from happening. Until he had been taken from his own armoured vehicle on the streets what felt like a lifetime ago, stripping him of everything.

But why was Bruce here, and not releasing him from the bed?

‘B-Br-Bruce?’ Tony’s voice stuttered and shook, rough like sandpaper and grating against his dry throat when he spoke, calling out to his friend.

‘I didn’t think they would do this, I didn’t even know they were coming for you or for me I am so sorry.’ Bruce replied, sounding despondent. Tony could hear him shuffling beside the bed he was strapped to, the squeak of what had to be his glasses being stressed in his hands.

‘Why?’ Was all Tony could think to ask, but before Bruce could respond beyond an intake of breath a door opened and two lots of footsteps filed in to the room and Bruce stepped back to the bed again and laid a hand on Tony’s arm with a soft squeeze urging him to be quiet.

‘Good of you to finally join us again Stark.’ That was Maya Hansen; he remembered that sardonic voice that had refused to fall for any of his ploys and wit to get her in to bed, until they had fallen beneath the sheets in a whirl of science talk and calculations.

‘I can’t let you do this Maya.’ Bruce’s grip on his arm tightened, right over the bruises he had left on Tony days ago causing him to wince at the discomfort. ‘It’s still not out of the testing phase, it’s too unstable.’

‘I am well aware of that Bruce, and I need our only chance of moving past that little roadblock in proper working order, not this useless shell.’ Tony knew he should probably be offended by that, but honestly his brain was a little stuck on the fact that Maya had every intention of injecting him with Extremis. Which was still unstable by the sounds of it, and had the possibility to make him blow up.

‘I vote no.’ Tony croaked his voice barely above a rough whisper making the third person in the room snort loudly. Why didn’t Bruce just Hulk out, get them both out if they were being held against their will?

‘You aren’t exactly in a position to be making the terms here Tony.’ Who was this guy?

‘Nobody is making any terms.’ Bruce growled, letting go of Tony’s arm and stomping across the room noisily to grab a hold of someone else the sound of skin on skin almost resounding in the large space. ‘You shouldn’t have done this, I warned you what would happen if you tried again.’ _Wait what?_ What did Bruce mean by _again_? ‘They’ll come, I know they will and then none of this will ever get off the ground and will all been for nothing.’ Was Bruce on their side?

‘It wasn’t our fault what happened that time, it got out of our control I told you that!’ Maya hissed, the small sound of a struggle before the third voice threatened Bruce to let her go. ‘Look at how long it took you all that time; we’ll have what we want by then!’ Tony winced at how incensed she sounded, almost maniacal in her cause.

Tuning out their ongoing argument about Tony’s role in all of this, he thought about what they had just said. Had they been involved with what had happened with Dawson, did Bruce know about what was going to happen and been involved all this time?

A small pinch in the side of his neck brought Tony out of the confusion of his thoughts. ‘If you let the Hulk out I will fill him with three hundred CC’s and that will be it for all of us not even the Hulk could possibly survive something that hot.’ Maya was threatening Bruce, stopping him from getting them both out of here. His whole body frozen up under the sharp prick of the needle pressing in to his thin skin, unwilling to move in case Maya decided to inject him anyway. She seemed to be enough of a loose cannon for that to be a possibility right now.

‘Let’s go for a walk Banner.’ The third voice was placating, preceded by the door opening and closing again. Tony didn’t want to be left alone with Maya, but here he was blind and strapped to another god damn bed and completely at her mercy. At least as soon as the door had shut the needled had been withdrawn, but a few steps and some plastic rustling later there was a sharp sting that shocked him in the crook of his elbow.

‘It’s all up to the body and the mind Tony,’ a cool rush flowed through the cannula in his vein, making him shiver restlessly in unease, he could smell the nervous sweat coming from Maya ‘if you don’t fight Extremis and just let it in, allow your body to accept it then everything will be okay.’ A small hand pet his hair making Tony flinch violently at the action and try to shrink away from her. This was too much, too familiar and sickening in its innocent action. Hot breath whispered over the shell of his ear as Maya leaned in close to whisper; ‘ _you’ll be able to see again.’_ Almost seductively, like it was the most alluring thing in the world for him.

Which under different circumstances Tony thought, it really would be. He’d jump in to anyone’s bed for the chance to see, but not like this being forced in to something against his will that had the ability to end his and other innocent peoples live.

‘What happened to you?’ He whispered back, darting his tongue out to lick at dry lips as nervous sweat broke out over his goose-pimpled flesh. ‘What happened to the young woman in Berlin that wanted to end world poverty?’ He genuinely wanted to know when things had gone wrong for Maya, when she had slipped in to this delusion and willingly sold her soul to the devil to experiment with dangerous serums on human beings, seemingly no care for the needless death left in her wake or for the suffering it caused.

Cool tubing was attached to the cannula in his elbow, and Tony struggled again, vainly against the restraints. ‘You’re the Merchant of Death Tony, if anyone should understand the need to make the world a better place it should be you, a life for a life. How many lives were traded for your own life of luxury Tony?’ Filled with repulsion Tony shook his head violently, they were nothing alike.

Whilst he had made some mistakes in his life, Tony had changed and turned around his life after the final person, Yinsen; gave up their life for the sake of his own. Iron Man would never have come to fruition without the desire to protect the people; he had done his utmost best to shake off the title as Merchant of Death. Even going so far as to independently fund and armour the Avengers and offer them all a place to live, to make them more efficient as a team.

‘Make sure you breathe Tony, let it in.’ Maya whispered against his ear again, lips ghosting over his cheekbone before pressing a gentle kiss on his forehead and retreating.

After the door had shut and Maya had left him alone, Tony sucked in a sharp breath and almost managed to strangle the first scream as pain arced and burned through his whole body. There was liquid fire coursing through his blood stream, obliterating every neural pathway as it seared through him. This was a pain unlike anything he had ever experienced before in his life.

Desperate to escape the pain Tony thrashed against the restraints, bucking and bowing his body against the bed and the thick straps futility as it consumed him bodily. The intense burning was spreading outwards from the crook his left arm and spreading up towards his shoulder and bleeding in to his chest and crawling up his neck to wrap coiled fingers around his brain and clamping down. Another harsh scream tore from his throat, feeling like it was tearing at the raw skin there.

Burning heat clawed against the back of his eyes, feeling like sharp needles that stabbed at his corneas, making him thrash his head side to side in attempt to shake them loose or ease it up even a little. Tears rolled down his cheeks and the side of his face, collecting with the salty sweat at his hairline. Tony couldn’t even tell if he was screaming now, heaving for breath with his mouth wide open. Something warm and thicker seeped out of the corners of his clenched eyes, running over his open lips and dripping against the back of his tongue. The iron tang of blonde made him heave and choke against it.

It was spreading through the rest of his body now, an iron fist clenching harshly around his heart and suffocating the weak muscle against its lame attempts to keep beating. It felt akin to having a heart attack, or the moment when he had gone in to cardiac arrest at the lunch table and he had been struck breathless. His screams had stopped now, the breath stolen from his lungs as his heart was smothered in the heat.

Just when it seemed like he was going to die, and his heart would burst around the intense pain it vanished leaving him panting and desperate for breath. Lying limp against the mattress Tony groaned, choking and coughing on more thick blood that had filled his throat he turned his head to the side and retched. Blood was a thick scent in the air, filling his singed nostrils and making him nauseas with the cloying scent.

Where was Bruce, why wasn’t he putting a stop to this? The thought that he could be outside the room right now, watching this like another one of his experiments was enough to make Tony turn his head to side again quickly, throwing up the meagre acidic contents of his stomach in disgust. How could Bruce have a role in this and do nothing to intervene when his best friend was suffering, possibly even dying?

As the pain peaked again, wrapping around wasted muscle and abused bone Tony thought above Steve and what he was doing right now. Would he be worrying about Tony, or blaming himself for letting him be taken right under his own nose? Was Steve even okay, he wouldn’t have allowed anyone to walk away with Tony again after last time so there was every chance that he had been badly injured in the brief fight in Tony’s penthouse bedroom?

Harsh screams tore their way from Tony when it felt as though his leg had been snapped all over again, bone grating on bone. God, why couldn’t he just pass out from the pain already, it seemed like this was never going to end.

Heat was building painfully around the arc reactor; there was a cooling mechanism in the base of the casing to avoid heat dumping in his body for when he pushed it past its capacity while manning the armour but it was struggling against the output of Extremis raging through his system. As his body heat raised the reactor hummed harshly in his chest, sending vibrations through the surrounding damaged bone of his sternum.

After what felt like hours drifting in a sea of pain, muscles and body coiled tight against the onslaught of pain it slowed down. It took Tony a minute or two to actually work out what was going on, his brain slow to come back online and realise he was no longer in agony. It was almost like a wave of relief that washed over him, the cooling sweat on the surface of his skin causing small shivers to wrack his frame.

Another ten minutes of shallow, nervous breaths as the arc reactor worked valiantly to disperse the spare heat being held in the mechanism and Tony dared to take a deep, full breath of air that caught him completely off guard. There was no sharp stab of pain in his sternum or creaking of fractured ribs that were slow to heal or the desperate urge to take another breath to get enough oxygen in to lungs with a decreased capacity.

Taking advantage of his sudden ability to take in adequate amounts of oxygen, Tony pulled weakly against the bindings again wishing he could run his hands over his skin, his chest to see if there were any obvious deformities there anymore; scars from the shrapnel and chest tubes, small Knicks or impurities that he had had since he was a clumsy little kid.  

Without even thinking about it, Tony opened his eyes and blinked harshly against the glaring fluorescent light shining above him on the bed until his vision cleared and looked down at his chest. There were no scars. Zero. Nada. Nothing. Not even around the arc reactor where the worst of them had been, thick keloid scars that formed harsh ropes of mangled skin. It was just a large olive expanse of lithe, wiry muscle.

Blinking in shock, breaths’ coming in short stutters Tony paused and clenched his eyes shut tightly in shock when he realised just what he was doing. He really wasn’t at full functioning capacity if he hadn’t realised something so blaringly obvious.

Tony could see, he could see.

One desperate second Tony was too scared to open his eyes again just in case it hadn’t been real, that he had imagined it happening and then another second later he was forcing them open and gaping at the high ceiling. The lights shone back at him in high definition, better than his original vision had ever been burning at his eyes with startlingly clarity as he looked around the room for the first time.

It was more of a sparse laboratory than anything else, uncluttered metallic benches lining the concrete walls with no windows apart from the small one in the large door. Basic medical equipment was propped to one side of his bed, an IV stand with an empty bag hanging from a hook to the other side. They mustn’t have wanted to risk losing anything in case Tony hadn’t accepted the virus, and Extremis had misfired.

Being able to see again was overwhelming; a sudden sensory overload after so long in the dark but even with a migraine blooming behind dry itchy eyes Tony couldn’t bring himself to shut them again. While it was unlikely, theoretically for it to go away again Tony was too scared that the next time he blinked it would be back to eternal darkness.

Casting aside his fear and doubts Tony strained his neck to properly look at his body now, take in all the minute changes against the bigger ones. While he was still too thin, the lost wasted muscle had been replaced with smaller, firmer ones that made his stomach tight and firm instead of concave. The muscle rippled under tan skin as he shifted on the mattress, arms and thighs flexing with renewed strength as he pulled against the restraints once more shaking against the effort like a newborn foal.

This wasn’t a bad analogy Tony thought, fighting against the urge to blink as he looked down at his new body. Small ripples of glowing orange moved under the surface of his skin, illuminating the veins and sinewy muscle and tendon as it moved over him highlighting areas of bone leaving a sting of heat in its wake.

Was that one of the side effects of Extremis? Even though his body had accepted the virus, didn’t mean that he was actually out of the woods right now. He remembered from their research that some of the recipients had gone come through the trial, only to be unable to regulate. The bomb without a bomb theory.

It was a stroke of genius on Maya’s behalf, injecting him unwillingly like this. Now he had no choice but to work on the serum, the virus whatever it was unless he wanted to go to hot and explode. There was no way he could allow himself to walk around in this state, never knowing when it could or would happen. Not surrounded as he often was by the people he loved and cared about.

Maya had played him good, he would give her that.

Right now though he wanted other answers, and to get off this bed.

Taking a deep breath Tony shouted, calling out for someone until he caught the sounds of footsteps in the hallway outside the door. It was Bruce who poked his head in, a comical look of relief lighting up his features and dropping his shoulders as he made eye contact with Tony for the first time in over a month. A small, breathy _oh my god_ dropped from his lips before Bruce was rushing in to the room.

‘Get me out of this fucking bed!’ Tony snapped, cutting Bruce off when he saw his mouth open. ‘I swear to god Banner, get these restraints off me right now.’ Tony threatened, pulling against them again to make his point. Bruce looked chastened for a moment, casting his eyes around to the door for a moment before nodding.

Sagging with relief Tony held himself still as Bruce made short work of the straps, flicking them away as the sharp sound of Velcro filled the silence. Refusing to make eye contact with Bruce, Tony lifted his wrists to his stomach and rubbed at them to return some circulation. As soon as the last of the straps had been released Tony shot up from the bed, swinging his legs over the edge.

Allowing his equilibrium to return before dropping from the bed, Tony went straight from the door intent on getting the hell out of that room before he was beaten to it, and Maya stepped in casting a disbelieving look at Bruce. ‘What the hell are you doing?’ She demanded grabbing a tight hold on Tony’s arm and dragging him back to that damned, sweat damp mattress. ‘Who said you could release him?’ A small bead of blood dripped over fingers from the place Tony had ripped out his IV. They both looked down at it for a moment before another ripple of orange flickered beneath the puncture and it was gone.

Gaping stupidly, like a fish out of water Tony pulled his arm back and lifted it as close to his face as he could, running a finger over the area where the blood was still smeared. Was that supposed to happen?

‘Impressive isn’t it? Extremis completely rewrites human biology, wipes out any and all flaws and replaces the damaged or missing tissues. We weren’t sure it was going to work for you, not to such a broad extent.’ Maya was appraising him, eyeing him with obvious lust in her eyes as he stood in nothing but his boxer briefs. ‘We haven’t trialled it on anyone with organ failure before, or even such extensive organ damage as you, I am glad to see it was such a success.’ Her eyes trailed over the arc reactor, her hand coming up like she planned to touch it. Tony took a step back. ‘Look at you.’ She gushed, following him step for step until he hit the chilled concrete wall.

‘I’m not here for your viewing pleasure, or to play guinea pig.’ Tony snapped, trying to gain some dominance over the conversation. ‘I have no choice here, either I work with you or I go boom and wipe out everyone I love. But before I even consider agreeing to this, and yes I can just say no and risk it, I want some answers.’ Bruce was shifting on his feet, wringing his hands together and refusing to look at Tony, but Maya was smiling at him that unstable glint in her eyes making him a little uneasy.

Lifting her hand again, Maya brushed her fingers over the skin of his left pec beside the arc reactor making him shiver and press back against the cold wall. ‘What do you want to know?’ Maya asked, running her fingers up and down his skin before ghosting them over the glass of the reactor. Tony’s hand shot out in an instant, closing around her wrist with a small quiver. Maya met his eyes with an apologetic look but didn’t withdraw. ‘I didn’t know if Extremis would accept it, it’s fascinating and I would love to take some scans.’

Throwing her wrist to the side and pushing her away a little rougher then intended Tony stepped away quickly, removing himself from the corner and away from her with his skin crawling in discomfort. ‘Nobody touches this, ever.’ He snapped, closing a hand over the soft blue glow protectively, like it would be any protecting against her. His limbs were still quivering and straining against the effort to keep him standing.

Maya just pouted at him and Bruce ran his hands through his hair roughly, standing the long locks up on end. ‘Were you behind the auctioneering list?’ Tony blurted, getting to the point. He needed to know if what he had heard earlier was the truth and Maya and maybe even Bruce had played a role in this. Silently Tony was praying that Bruce hadn’t been that he didn’t actually know.

‘It was a cover story, a ploy to distract the Avengers and Stark Industries and keep them off our tales.’ Tony deflated like a balloon and sank to the floor heavily with a soft exhale of breath burying his face in his hands. ‘We weren’t prepared for that snake to be so conniving and backstab us the moment he came in to your possession.’ Tony looked up in shock, not quiet computing what she was saying. ‘We had a prearranged location for him to take you to, we were going to sweep in and take you back but he had moved somewhere else and remained well hidden.’

‘Why though, why didn’t you just take me yourself?’ Tony asked, voice shaking with sick dread as he looked up at Maya in disbelief. ‘Why even leave a paper trail?’

‘Like I said we needed a distraction.’ Maya snapped back, crossing her arms across her narrow waist and glaring down at him. ‘It hurt us just as much as it hurt you.’ Tony felt his eyes go impossibly wide and his jaw drop open. ‘It set our research and trials back significantly.’

On his feet in a second Tony shot across the room and wrapped a trembling hand around Maya’s throat forcing her up against the wall this time and squeezing down on her trachea. ‘It hurt you?’ Tony growled voice low and lethal as he tightened his grip, Maya clawing at her hand as Bruce stepped forward like he was going to intervene but didn’t know how. ‘Were you raped every day, force fed drugs and hung from the ceiling?’ He shook her violently. ‘How fucking dare you!’

‘Tony stop, you don’t want to do this!’ Bruce’s calming voice broke through the barrier of anger, a cool hand closing around his bicep. ‘Let her go.’ Bruce’s warm eyes were pleading with him.

Tony sneered and turned on him next, sickened and betrayed that Bruce was taking her side when Tony had given him everything. A place to live and call home, unlimited lab space and all the toys he could ever want and even gone so far as to keep Ross off his back and make sure Shield had no sway over where the good doctor went. They’d rapidly become best friends, science bro’s and now Bruce was on the other side of the batting field, throwing all of that away.

‘Did you know?’ Tony asked, shocked that his voice sounded so small despite the anger that he was feeling. A small part of him shied away from the answer, didn’t actually want to know if one of his best friends had played a role in his torture and capture, in any of this. Bruce gave him a small look, shock obvious in his gaze as he withdrew his hand. ‘Did you know they. Were. Selling. Me.’

Bruce dropped his hand away from Tony like he’d been burned and stepped away, shaking his head rapidly. ‘How could you think that?’ Tony couldn’t find it in himself to care that Bruce sounded wounded. ‘I never would have allowed something like to happen to you, you are my friend Tony.’ He shook his head.

‘And yet here we are.’ Tony used his free hand to gesture around them. ‘You have me locked in a basement and just injected me with an unstable virus against my will, you let them Bruce!’ Tony dropped Maya, not even casting her a side eye as she sank down to the floor wheezing and pulling in desperate breaths. Orange streaks were glowing beneath his skin, sewing the areas Maya’s nails had penetrated his skin shut. ‘You went behind all of our backs, my back to help them and you’re my friend?’

Bruce flinched at that, but didn’t back away when Tony advanced on him. ‘I just wanted a chance to help you, if this worked.’ Bruce looked up at him under his eyelashes. ‘Maybe even help myself in the long run.’ Tony scoffed at him, as much as he wanted to strike Bruce he knew it wouldn’t be worth it in the end. Not with the risk of the Hulk just underneath that false calm exterior.

‘Show me where the fucking research is.’ Tony demanded with a huff, turning away from Bruce without casting him another glance. Maya was standing up now, a shaky hand supporting her against the wall. ‘And get me so clothes.’

Tony had no intention of correcting the serum, fixing the flaw that caused it to misfire. He was going to reverse engineer it and create an antidote, there was no way in hell he was going to help perfect something like this.    

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if you've hung around this long and if you still enjoy this story!


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things have been shit for me, physically and mentally so it's taken me this long to get a chapter out. I narrowly avoided another emergency surgery but had another short admission. Found out I need another test and then another surgery after that. I had to quit my job. Things are just miserable.
> 
> BUT! in saying that here's a nice long chapter for you all. I hope it's okay. I think maybe one, two more chapters till we have concluded this journey. I never intended for it to get this long. But here we are! I appreciate all your comments and love!

Despite the obvious villainy of Maya and her henchmen, a group that called themselves AIM (Advanced Idea Mechanics, really guys creativity gone out the window lately?) and a man called Aldrich Killian (Tony couldn’t remember him, no matter how much backstory the man shoved on him, there were no bells ringing there) and the amount of bases they lost to misfires and explosions at the unstable hands of Extremis, their notes and documentation of the process so far were well kept and organised.

Before being given access to the well-kept research data, and with some no regrets downright pleading for the use of a bathroom of some sort Tony was standing inside a steamy room staring at his own face with something akin to awe. The shower had been a quick, precursory indulgence to remove the layer of sweat and blood from his skin, if Tony spent a little extra time mapping out the clear skin nobody else needed to know. Now he was caught up in his own reflection, almost unable to recognise himself.

Extremis had taken _years_ off his features, smoothed out wrinkles on his forehead and between his eyebrows and wiped out crow’s feet and laughter lines around his eyes and mouth. It was, in a way, a little terrifying to stare at your own face and see yourself but not you at the same time Tony thought, as he moved a little closer to the mirror and turned his face from side to side.

Even stranger still was the ability to take a deep breath, even with the added weight of the arc reactor and the casing sitting snug against his sternum, it now felt like less of an intrusion and more like it naturally belonged there. The whole thing had thrown him through a loop and the longer he stood naked, staring at himself the stranger and more overwhelming it all became.

A sharp rap on the door had kicked his mind back in to gear and he had dressed quickly in the sweats and t-shirt supplied before opening the door, sneering at the lackey who tried to take him by the arm and walked under his own steam to what was looking to be his new quarters until the Avengers eventually came for him.

Which left him looking appreciatively at the results spread out across the work surface, with this level of detail he wouldn’t need to do any reverse engineering at all. All he needed was to look over the notes, find the flaw in the equation and work from there. They weren’t stupid enough to leave him with any technology, the room was barren in those regards but he had plenty of pen and paper to get to work with.

After an hour had passed and Tony immersed himself in the ebb and flow of mathematics and equations he felt like he might be getting close to being able to reverse the virus, the only snag was not knowing how it would adversely affect the results of the virus on the human body. There was no telling without a live test subject whether it would reverse the biological changes, or simply remove the virus itself without altering any of the repairs on the human body. It unsettled him, that he was going to have to test this on someone, most likely himself before anyone else without knowing the outcome. It was daunting to think about the possibility that after the cure was given, that he might lose his sight and new found state of perfect health.

Tony didn’t know the last time he had felt this good, he was exhausted and his head was pounding, a migraine building behind itchy eyes but it wasn’t hanging on him like a second skin and weighing him down. Even the act of fluidly standing from his crossed leg position on the floor didn’t hit him with pre-syncope or the creaking and popping of old joints that didn’t appreciate sitting on the cold ground. His withered old heart was clicking away at a steady pace, no longer lagging behind or skipping beats, a normal healthy pace that didn’t leave him dizzy or wanting to clutch at his chest anymore.

It was like being a spritely teenager all over again, before he got in to the booze and the drugs and went on a rapid decline with both his physical and mental state.

That being said, of course extremis had done nothing for his mental state.

Anxiety still settled in his bones like an old friend, slicked his palms with sweat and increased his respiratory rate the more he thought about his situation, about Bruce and his role in all of this, his time at the hands of Dawson an how he had gotten there in the first place. It rankled, thinking of Maya’s words, how annoyed she’d sounded having lost out on time after misplacing him in their botched attempt to cover tracks. Who the fuck had even come up with that plan, Tony didn’t know but it had failed spectacularly on them and Tony had suffered the consequences.

The door opening broke him out of his thoughts and Tony whirled around to face whoever it was, sneering when Maya stepped in the room holding a bottle of water and a plate of plastic wrapped sandwiches. Once he laid eyes on the food, his stomach grumbled loudly reminding him it had been a long time since he had given it proper food and even stale sandwiches would be appreciated.

‘Looks like you’ve been busy already, can’t say I knew what to expect when I came in here.’ Maya said as she handed him the plate of sandwiches and the water bottle, Tony just glared until she put them on the ground with a scoff before turning to the quickly scrawled notes covering the floor with paper.

Sitting here, watching Maya walk casually amongst the mess Tony had made he couldn’t help but watch her, take her in. Looking at her properly now, he could see the woman that had enraptured him that night in Berlin and remembered the empowered speeches she had given when talking about her plants. She was still beautiful, all honey and maple from her hair to her eyes and the soft smile she wore as she read over his notes but there was something else there now that he couldn’t put his finger on. Something fundamental to that kind caring person was missing, replaced with a cold tightness around the corners of her eyes.

‘What happened Maya, how did you end up here?’ Tony couldn’t stop himself from asking, he needed all the variables in this equation to make sense. Treating humans like a mathematic equation was always his biggest downfall, but it helped him to understand even a little how other people ticked.

‘People change Tony, it’s inevitable.’ Maya looked him in the eyes as she spoke. ‘You wouldn’t understand what it’s like, struggling to get recognition, funding. Not when you were born with a silver spoon in your mouth, Killian gave me the means to move forward.’

‘You could have come to me, I would have funded the work with the plants even helped you out.’ Tony was surprised to find himself meaning it too; this kind of research could have done wonders for advancements in bio-farming. ‘Nobody was ever going to touch human experimentation, you had to know that.’ Maya’s eyes flashed violently, jaw clenching and tightening the skin around her cheeks. ‘Not after the Hulk or the failed experiments with the Super Soldier Program.’ She was shaking her head at him now. ‘It’s unethical.’  

‘Extremis works; you’ve seen firsthand what it does.’ Maya snapped, waving her hands at him. ‘How is advancement in medical treatment like this unethical?’ This time Tony shook his head, looking away from Maya’s almost manic exasperation with him. ‘You can’t make an omelette without breaking some eggs first.’ She snapped when Tony wasn’t giving her anything.

‘And how many people had to die before you got the omelette Maya? That’s on you; your name is on the label and their death certificates just so you could prove a point!’ Tony just wanted to get up and shake some sense in to her, make her see that none of this would be worth it in the end. ‘That guy, Killian do you even know what he intends to do with the finished product? What he’s doing with the people who already have it?’ There it was, Maya looked away as her mouth turned down and she shook her head minutely. ‘Do you even care?’

‘Of course I care! Why do you think I pushed to have you here? I approached you for help years ago and I didn’t even get past the application! I made do with what I had in front of me at the time, Killian saw my potential with his think tank and gave me the means to achieve what we have today but you were always the missing link.’ This time Tony threw his hands up, frustration and annoyance welling up inside him. Talking with this woman was like going in circles.

‘Stark Industries isn’t in the business of death anymore Maya, there’s a reason I have a thorough team to field all applications for scientific grants to weed out the crazies!’ Tony stood finally stood up, done with sitting still and being talked down on. Bending over sharply he scooped up the papers containing the finished product and scrunched them in his grip tearing and crinkling the paper before Maya could look down at them.

It would be too dangerous to risk having her see them; even if it wouldn’t blow people up anymore there were too many other side effects that came with it. Damn near immortality, enhanced strength and healing, uncontrolled rage and fits of violence. There was no promise that even after fixing the flaw any of that would go away, there was no way Tony was going to allow this to hit any type of market. The thought of someone like Ross or even Hydra getting their hands on this made his skin crawl.

Even the fact that Rhodey was out there right now, investigating this was enough to make him uneasy and nervous. Tony wished he had a way to get in touch with his best friend, just to make sure he was okay. How many of these veteran soldiers from the files were out there waiting to explode? What was Killian even planning on doing with the small army he was building?

‘What’s the end game here Maya?’ Tony was suddenly too tired to keep up the fight with her, he let his hands drop down to his sides and looked up at her through his lashes begging her to see reason with his eyes and just tell him the truth now, try and seek some sort of redemption. ‘Tell me with a hundred percent certainty that you know this is in the right hands, for the right reasons?’ Maya flicked her eyes up at him and he knew, just knew that she couldn’t give him any sort of answer for that.

‘I don’t care what he’s doing with them; I just needed the test subjects.’ Hearing Maya say the words, admit her minimal amount of interest in the end outcome and seeing the cold resignation on her soft features that were so cold to him now, just made Tony want to sink back down to the floor and weep out of frustration.

Someone needed to create a program or a test or something that was prerequisite for all scientists to weed out the psycho ones, find them before they got too far in life and started to turn their wild schemes on the rest of the world and tried to bring about the end. It would save them all so much effort, Tony thought as clutched at the scrunched up paper.

‘I can’t do this, I can’t help you Maya.’ Slumping against a workbench Tony shook his head and looked up at Maya one last time. ‘Whatever you plan on doing with this, whatever Killian wants out of you I don’t want to be a part of it.’

Maya look a little shame faced for a moment, like maybe there might be some regret there but it was there and gone so quickly Tony couldn’t have been sure but it didn’t matter, her shoulders stiffened and she looked at him with steely eyes as she stalked towards him and reached out a hand for the paper he scrunching before he yanked it out of her reach.

‘When did you grow some humanity?’ Maya sneered in his face, small flecks of spit hitting his cheek as she reached up for the paper he was holding above her head desperately as his eyes darted around for way to dispose of it. ‘A few years ago you never would have hesitated to get on board with this.’ Her hand shot out wrapping around his wrist, but he kept it away from her.

Placing a hand on her chest he shoved her away, a little shocked by his own strength when she staggered back farther then he had intended but it gave him the opening he needed and he darted past her towards the door. ‘I always had humanity, that’s why I live in a penthouse and you’re trapped down here.’ Tony snapped back, hand closing over the doorknob and turning it sharply before pulling the door open.

Maya ploughed in to him for behind as Tony stepped out in to the hallway knocking the air from his lungs as they hit the ground in a tangle of limbs. It wasn’t until they were both outside of the room rolling around each other in a mad game of keep off, that Tony noticed the sounds of a fight. Sharp retorts of a gunshot were ringing through the hallway, frenzied shouts of chaos echoing back at them. Driven by the sounds of the fight, Tony get a foot against Maya’s stomach and put all his weight behind the limb and shoved her away before getting to his feet and bolting away.

The corridors were empty as he ran through them following the sound of the fight as he weaved in and out of doorways, trying to find an exit or some sort of weapon as he moved unsure whether or not Maya was following him. Still clutching the paper in his hand Tony careened to a halt when he turned a sharp corner and nearly ran headfirst in to a group of men with guns, he managed to duck back in to the doorway as they turned towards him and stalked past.

More shouts echoed through the halls as Tony stepped back out in to the hallway when the men had passed through; there was no sign that Maya had followed him down here. Tony darted around the corner wishing he had a weapon as he was forced in to another doorway to evade more people. Where had they all come from? It had seemed to empty when they had walked him through the halls earlier, between the room he had woken up in to the showers and then the lab with the research they hadn’t come across anyone else. Now the halls were teeming with people, soldiers if the tags around their necks were anything to go by.

If he could get one of them on their own and over power them he could get his hands on a weapon, but so far they all seemed to be moving around in groups. After spending another five minutes people watching Tony took a deep breath, made a decision and darted out quickly drawing on all the hand to hand combat Natasha had forced on him.

Using surprise to his advantage it didn’t take Tony long to disarm one of the two soldiers, bring the gun around and fire off two quick shots in to the other’s chest. Lowering the gun Tony bent over them quickly; searching their pockets for anything he could use and was relieved to find a short range walkie talkie. Shoving the radio in his pocket and the second gun down the waist band of his track pants Tony took off again, averting his eyes from what he had just done.

Putting a lot of stock in hope Tony ducked in to the next empty room he came in to and pulled the radio out, fidgeting with the dial until he found the frequency he had been relying on. _‘Widow status report, we are taking a lot of fire in the east wing how are you looking in the east?’_ Steve, thank god. Tony let his shoulders sag in relief upon hearing that voice. A small part of him had been worried about Steve since waking up here, wondering what had happened to him back at the penthouse. Some of his nerves reassured now, Tony popped his head back up and peered out of the door again, looking for a sign any of the Avengers had already come through or was heading towards this area.  

When there was no sign of help coming in the form of a widow or a hawk he brought the radio back up and then paused, realising he had no idea what to say. The great Tony Stark, speechless. Rolling his eyes Tony brought the radio back up and pressed down on the receiver. ‘Cap it’s me, I’m okay but I don’t know my location.’ Swift and to the point, it didn’t take long to get a response.

‘ _Iron Man! It’s good to hear you, stay where you are we’ll come to you.’_ The relief in Steve’s voice was almost palpable through the staticky line.

‘Any chance you brought a long a suit?’ Tony asked, knowing it was a long shot but still trying. The team were going to be in for a shock when they finally found him and realised what had happened.

‘ _Negative, can you give us any markers without giving away your location?’_ That was Natasha, and if Tony wasn’t mistaken, which he was sure he was because this was Nat, even she sounded a little relieved to hear his voice.

Looking around the small storage closet Tony sagged a little, took a breath and opened the door enough to peer his head around. It didn’t suit him well, hiding in a closet while someone else fought his battle but he didn’t know what could happen if he engaged in more fighting, not with Extremis in his system. A little down the hallway he spotted a small clock and a directory beneath it. Nothing overly helpful but it was something.

‘A clock and a directory on the wall.’ Tony kept it as vague as he could, hoping anyone else that might be listening in didn’t make a connection with his location. There could be any number of closets with clocks across from them in this place.

‘ _Stay hidden.’_ Steve demanded, like he could sense Tony’s unease with staying out of the fight.

‘ _Wait is nobody else making the same connection that I just did?’_ Hawkeye’s voice came over the line, surprised. Tony smirked when he realised what Clint was talking about, letting a small snort of amusement that out of all of them Clint was the only one to realise Tony was able to give a visual response to his location.

‘ _Save the chatter for debrief.’_ Steve, ever the capable soldier. Tony rolled his eyes but agreed with him, putting the receiver back in his pocket as he hunkered down by the gap in the door and used his born again sight to look out for any signs of his team mates entering the hallway.

After ten minutes Tony considered giving up his location and heading out to find the Avengers himself, but half a moment later Killian barrelled through a door glowing orange and shirtless as a large wound in his side knit back together and Steve and Thor came running through after him. The two worked together seamlessly, Steve crouched down with the shield above him and angled towards an advancing Aldrich as Thor brought down his Hammer and lightening knocking Killian backwards again.

It was a sight to behold as they battled it out, and Tony possibly would have been content to sit back and watch it unfold if Aldrich hadn’t started breathing _fucking fire_ at his team mates. Pulling out the gun Tony slipped out of the room and aimed, directly between the eyes and fired rapidly.

Steve and Thor turned to him in shock as Aldrich fell, mouths a little open as they just stared at him.

‘Tony… what?’ Steve stumbled forward, shield gripped loose in his hand as he raised his other towards Tony. ‘How are you able to…’ Tony offered up a small smile moving to meet him halfway as their hands clasped together. Steve just continued to gape at him stupidly, oblivious to the chaos around them as he made eye contact with Tony for the first time in months and held it with unwavering emotion.

‘Perhaps we should save this for later.’ Thor broke in, swinging his hammer and stepping around them as Killian started to get up, sneering at them as more of the soldiers started to file in to the narrow hallway. ‘How do we take these things down?’

‘Good question big guy.’ Tony took a step back, well aware of how vulnerable he was without the suit at the moment and wishing more than anything for the safety it offered him. Even with Extremis in his blood he wasn’t willing to find out the limits of the virus, there was no telling how many doses Killian had needed to be able to walk off a few direct headshots like that.

Watching Steve step in front of him, raising the shield in defiance and protection sent a rush of warmth through Tony as he appreciated the effort but he didn’t think the shield was going to be enough against someone that could breathe fire and recover from bullets to head. ‘You don’t have to do this, we can resolve this peacefully.’ Steve placated, using his stern and in control captain voice that did all sorts of things to Tony’s insides.

‘You’re in the way of what I want.’ Killian snarled, clenching his fists and charging them.

Steve just sighed, hefted the shield higher on his arm and changed his stance from offensive to defensive as Thor surged ahead of him with the hammer hefted high and brought it down on Killian’s head, moving aside to allow Steve to follow it through with his shield getting Killian on his back before bringing it down against the soft flesh of a neck, allowing Thor to bring the hammer down like you would on a nail and decapitate him with a soft squelch.

Staggering backwards in disgust Tony turned away, fighting his own stomach at the sickening sight. It did the job though, Tony turned back around to see Thor lightly kick the head away from body and nearly lost his stomach again at the act but Killian stayed down and it seemed to give the other soldiers a moment of hesitation against advancing on them.

‘This doesn’t have to end in violence, stand down.’ Steve lowered his shield, and relaxed his posture to show he meant his words and Tony was relieved when the men and women followed suit. If only every fight the Avengers took on could end like this, Steve or Tony often went ahead of the battle and offered a chance of surrender but nobody ever took it. At least this time something had gone their way.

‘I can help you.’ Tony stepped forward now, dropping the gun with a loud clatter. ‘It’ll take me some time to get it going, but I have a can remove the virus.’ One of the women with a severe scar across her face turned to him sharply, scowling.

‘What if we don’t want to reverse it?’ One of her hands closed around her left upper arm protectively, clutching at it desperately like he might come and take it and it dawned on him why they were all regarding him suspiciously. They were afraid that by removed Extremis they would lose what had been restored. Rational line of thinking, something he was terrified of himself.

‘Until I test it out I can’t make any promises, but we can’t allow you to walk out of here with something so unstable in your bloodstream. There’s too much risk allowing you back in society until it has been removed.’ Tony felt bad for them, he really did. Even sympathised with them to an extent but it would go against everything the Avengers were about if he allowed these people to go free only to hear months later they hadn’t been able to regulate and taken lives in the process. ‘Safe passage through us, and Stark Industries until it’s taken care of you.’

Things moved swiftly after that, within the hour they had control of the old laboratory and all of the scientists and staff were in the hands of Shield, including Maya Hansen who had given up without a fight, a look of resignation heavy set on her features. Steve struggled to let Tony out of his sight as they moved through the lab, at one point pulling him aside to place a hand on his cheek and just _look_ at him like something precious before they moved on with the sweep.

Before they met back with the others Tony tried to convince Steve to play a prank, pretend that he couldn’t see still and scare the shit out of Clint somehow and while Thor was on board with the practical joke Steve was having none of it and put his foot down. It was still hilarious however to see Clint nearly bug out when Tony walked up to him before wrapping him in a big hug and slapping him on the back. Natasha even gave him a small smile and a peck on the cheek with a whispered _good to have you back_ in his ear.

There was a lot he would need to explain, but for now Tony was content to just sit and watch his team mates, actually watch them and take in all their micro expressions and little gestures while he compartmentalised his own fears and reservations around Extremis and what neutralising it would entail. For now he was happy just to sit back and _see_.     

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave me some love :)


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter! This gave me so much trouble and I worked around it for a while before realising I wasn't going to get it any better then this without losing my mind. I never expected for this to be so long, or to get so many hits or kudos but you guys are amazing! I hope you guys enjoy it!

Coming in to the laboratory to look for Tony not knowing what to expect had put Steve on edge, having Tony come out to find them guns literally blazing had thrown him completely off kilter and left him feeling like a fish out of water. Because _one_ Tony was aiming that gun with expert precision and _two_ he looked like a completely different person and it was startling.

Sitting next to him on the quinjet with an all access granted pass to stare at him unabashedly was enough to blow his mind, because _wow_. This was a completely new and improved(?) Tony Stark sitting in front of him smiling softly, with a cheeky glint in his eyes and a face that reversed in age by _years_. Steve honestly didn’t know how to take this at all.

There were so many questions on the tip of his tongue, but none of them would come out no matter how hard he tried, and going by the look he was getting from Tony and the others his staring was starting to border on creepy now but Tony was looking at him, actually looking at him with wide eyes and wonder on his face and he missed seeing that clarity in him.

A big part of him was too scared to break this moment, another part of him convinced he was still drooling and unconscious on the floor of Tony’s penthouse and this was all just some deluded dream cooked up to protect his psyche. If he blinked or looked away long enough he would turn back to Tony and this would all be gone.

So Steve kept staring and ignoring the others for the whole ride back to the tower. It wasn’t until Clint had parked the jet and they were all standing and stretching that he finally dragged his eyes away and stood up with a tight wince. Some of the soldiers had packed a mean punch and while the bruises would be gone by the morning they still settled in to his bones with a deep ache.

‘As much as well appreciate the creepiness that is Cap staring at Tony can we at least move it inside where there is food and drink?’ Clint piped up, standing awkwardly beside Tony and looking between the two of them like he was afraid to step inside their focus and get caught in it. ‘I mean I miss being able to make heart eyes with Stark too, but I’d also appreciate not being around this level of sap.’

Natasha came up behind him and slapped him, grabbed his arm and dragged him off the jet as Thor laughed heartily and followed them leaving Steve and Tony alone for the first time. Tony was looking up at him, smiling with a shyness that betrayed him.

‘So,’ Tony actually scuffed his socked foot on the ground ‘I guess you have some questions but I’d really rather do it as a group, save repeating myself and all.’ Steve just nodded dumbly, still incapable of taking this in and articulating himself at the same time. Tony took a few hesitant steps forward until he was in front of Steve, a hands space between them.

Speech came back to Steve then, with Tony right in front of him and he lifted a hand towards his face but didn’t touch. ‘Can I kiss you?’ Because while this was a new Tony in front of him, it didn’t mean he wasn’t the same person inside this new skin with the same issues.

A small blush graced those full cheeks, and Tony nodded pressing in to Steve’s hand with something akin to reverence in his eyes and it was still throwing him to see so much focus there and not just the blown pupils that couldn’t see. Steve delved forward and crushed their lips together, desperate all of a sudden for this contact. Tony deepened the kiss and took control of it, probing at Steve’s lips with his tongue until he was let in and Steve groaned in to it, panting as they clashed mouths over and over.

When they parted Tony’s cheeks were flushed, his pupils blown with desire as they panted in to each other’s mouth, hot breath tickling kiss swollen lips. This was the first kiss they had shared where they had been able to stare at each other in response, make eye contact and know they shared the same feelings. One of Tony’s hands had come up to tangle in Steve’s hair at the base of his neck, the other clutching the tight material of his undershirt and it almost pained him to break the contact but if they didn’t go inside, Clint was sure to come looking for them and make a scene.

Taking hold of Tony’s hand he led him out on the docking bay and inside out of the cold quickly, pulling him towards the kitchen and the scent of coffee. Clint was staring studiously at the machine as it percolated, dripping amber liquid languidly in to the glass beneath it. Tony scoffed at Clint but didn’t pull away when Steve dragged him in for another soft kiss and then wrapped him in a tight hug. Tony’s arms came up around Steve’s waist holding on just as tightly.

‘Aww love birds.’ Clint chimed in, giving them a goofy smile before turning back to the coffee pot.

‘Where is everyone else?’ Tony asked, looking around Steve for sight of Natasha or Thor. Steve wasn’t sure how to approach Bruce at this point, they hadn’t found him at the laboratory and nobody had spoken up about his whereabouts. If it wasn’t for Tony they wouldn’t have even known he had been there. And it wasn’t a subject that Steve was willing or even considering getting involved in not until Tony was good and ready to, it was sure to be a painful subject for him.

‘Natasha went to change out of the cat suit and I think Thor said something about cleansing his hammer, all innuendo included.’ Clint turned around to waggle his brows lewdly.

‘Too much detail.’ Tony made a face before pulling away from Steve to slip in to a barstool as the coffee machine pinged its completion and accepted the cup that Clint slid towards him, moaning obscenely when he took a long mouthful of it. Steve flushed when the sound went right through him, curling warmly in his stomach. He had missed this side of Tony so much, but he hadn’t realised until he had him back in front of him again.

These feelings came with their own set of emotions though, mainly guilt for missing another part of Tony when he should have been satisfied with what he had. Clint and Tony parried snarky comments back and forth, and Steve sank in to his own seat with a small fond smile gracing his lips as he enjoyed the moment knowing it wasn’t going to last. As soon as Natasha and Thor came back in the moment would be ruined as Tony recounted what had happened.

For now he was content just to sit there.

When Natasha and Thor arrived they got right down to business and Steve’s stomach clenched in anger when Tony recounted being strapped to the bed and being injected with Extremis against his will, the amount of pain it had caused. Disgust replaced the anger when Maya’s impassioned little speech about her righteousness.

‘It didn’t take me very long once I had full access to the notes and research to work out where the flaw is, from there I can manufacture a cure to wipe it out of the system.’ Tony looked tired and weary by now listing to the side and leaning against Steve’s shoulder for support.

‘What will happen after that though, will it reverse the effects?’ Clint was frowning now, concern evident on his features as he looked at Tony. The unasked question on Clint’s lips was reflected in everyone’s eyes as they turned to him.

‘I don’t know.’ Tony answered honestly with a weak shrug of his shoulders jostling Steve against him.

‘We will deal with it when the time comes.’ Steve declared, drawing the conversation to an end now. They were all tired and weary, it was time to call it quits.

‘Has anyone heard from Rhodey?’ Tony asked, head popping up. ‘Jarvis?’

‘The colonel is currently on his way back to New York sir, he wishes to inform you that he is glad of your safe return.’ Tony’s whole body sagged with the news and Steve shifted an arm around the narrow waist, supporting him fully now. It was definitely time for bed.

‘Alright let’s leave it there for tonight, Shield is on top of the situation at the moment and there isn’t anything else we can do from our end. I want everyone to get some decent R&R this has been a stressful time.’ Steve stood, pushing the stool back and emptying his cup of coffee and pulling Tony’s out of lax hands. It had been humorous watching him down two cups in the space of five minutes and go back for a third, simply because he could and then run for the toilet ten minutes later with a full bladder.

Empty plates and stacks of take out were scattered across the breakfast bar and normally Steve would be on top of cleaning them up and filling the dishwasher but he had no interest in that tonight. He had a one track mind of going upstairs with Tony.

Bidding everyone good night Steve pulled a pliant Tony in to the elevator and wrapped his arms around him, tucking his chin on top of the messy brown locks with a content sigh. Things could have easily gone the other way, Extremis might not have been accepted by Tony’s body and they wouldn’t be here right now. But Steve was determined to stay in the moment and appreciate what he had no matter what was to come. ‘How do you feel about a shower?’ He mumbled.

Tony twisted in his arms and stepped back enough to look Steve in the eyes, which yes; he was never getting over that, and gave him a wicked smile. ‘Only fair to even out the odds isn’t it?’ Steve huffed a laugh and pulled the irresistible man back towards his chest holding on tightly until the elevator doors opened again and they stepped out.

Jarvis must have arranged someone to come in and clean out the glass and repair the windows while they had been gone rescuing Tony. There were no signs of the attack left in the room, the windows spotless and whole again.

Allowing Tony to take the lead they moved for the bathroom, the lights coming on at a soft golden glow. Stepping in to the bathroom was a pleasant surprise, the tiles comfortably heated for them. Steve reached out for Tony, grabbing his shirt and tugging it upwards until Tony stopped him with a warm hand around his wrist. A little confused Steve tried to get Tony to look at him but he refused to look up, face turned down to their feet as he pushed Steve’s hand away.

‘Hey look at me, it’s okay we don’t have to do this.’ Steve tilted Tony’s chin upwards, but he wouldn’t make eye contact that furious blush returning to his cheeks but for different reasons now and Steve regretted thinking this was ever a good idea. Tony had still been through so much, this was too quick to soon to expect more of him and Steve hated himself for even considering it. ‘I’m sorry.’ Steve mumbled, pulling Tony against his chest again.

‘I want to, shower at least.’ Tony mumbled against his chest shuffling away from him and worrying the material of his t-shirt before taking a deep breath and pulling it off quickly. Steve was shocked when he saw the arc reactor, he had known it was still there from the soft blue glow through the thin material but it looked different now. There was no inflammation around the casing, thick scars or bruising from the stubborn fracture through the sternum. Tony must have noticed him looking. ‘It doesn’t hurt anymore, it’s weird.’ His hands came up almost self-consciously to try and cover it.

Steve wasn’t having any of that and took his hands, tugging them away gently. ‘You don’t need to hide.’ He assured him, moving his face down for a quick kiss before pulling away and allowing Tony to take the lead in this. ‘We go at your pace.’ He whispered and Tony nodded, still reluctant to make eye contact.

To even out the odds Steve shucked his own shirt and let it fall to the floor, slipping his fingers in to the waist band of his uniform to start pushing it down. The damn things were so tight he always struggled with this part, having to shimmy his hips in a ridiculous sort of dance to get the thick material to slip down his thighs. Tony snorted on a laugh as he struggled, leaning back on his heels to watch the little show appreciatively, not making a move to help him as Steve finally got the pants down around his ankles trapped on top of his boots. His cheeks flushed in embarrassment, how he had managed to forget to take his boots off first was beyond him.

The little gasp from Tony when he looked up almost took his breath away, along with the look of pure unadulterated lust shining back at him from those eyes that he was so enamoured with now that he had them back. ‘I didn’t think I’d ever get to see that blush again.’ Tony murmured, and Steve was afraid to look away in case their eye contact was lost and Tony lost his nerve and they couldn’t get back to this.

Steve didn’t know which one of them surged forward first but they met in the middle and their mouths clashed and they were kissing, properly this time, battling each other for space and saliva as Steve brought his hands up to tangle in Tony’s hair and bring his mouth in deeper. They stayed like that for a long time, just moving their mouths against each other until Tony pulled away on a trail of spit with flushed cheeks and plump lips that were thoroughly kissed out and swollen with the abuse.

Their chests were heaving together, Tony shifted in his arms and froze and Steve could have folded up and let the ground swallow him whole when he realised why. His erection was straining against the material of his underwear, pressed hot and heavy against Tony’s stomach. Tony stepped away quickly reaching down for his shirt and rushing out of the bathroom.

With a low groan Steve leant down to unzip his boots, kicked them off and shrugged his pants off the rest of the way. There was no way he was putting them back on, it was too hard. Instead he reached over for a towel and wrapped it loosely around his waist before leaving the comfortable safety of the enclosed room and going looking for his boyfriend.

Tony was sitting on the floor with his back to the bed, a tortured look on his face, knees pressed tightly against his chest. The t-shirt was back on now but Steve could see him shivering from across the room.

‘I shouldn’t have put you in that position before you were ready.’ Steve walked over and slid down beside Tony, keeping a foot of space between them no matter how much he wanted to reach out and pull Tony in to his arms again to soothe away the pain on his face.

Tony just shook his head violently. ‘You shouldn’t have to apologise, I instigated it I was just...’ He drifted off, looking uncomfortable now. ‘It caught me off guard.’ Tony shifted around. ‘I’m not ready for that, I’m sorry.’

This time it was Steve’s turn to shake his head. ‘You certainly do not get to apologise in this situation. I am more than happy to take this slowly at whatever pace makes you comfortable.’ Steve couldn’t take the distance any longer; he lifted his arm and waited for Tony to see if he would come to him and was relieved when Tony shuffled over and curled in to him.

Reaching his hand up behind him to the bed Steve clutched the blue mink and pulled it down, wrapping it over their legs. Tony’s eyes went wide when he put his hand in the fabric. ‘You know you’re never getting this back right?’ Steve smiled back at the cheeky grin Tony was giving him.

They didn’t sleep in the bed that night, but Steve wasn’t complaining just happy that he got to spend the night with Tony in his arms on the sofa. The following days weren’t easy on anyone; Tony finally having the ability to escape down to the lab took full advantage of that notion and locked himself away with haste working on reversing Extremis. It was only thanks to Jarvis giving Steve a decent warning that he was able to make it down to the workshop before Tony injected himself with the cure.

The cure turned out to be as potent as its counterpart, and Steve was glad he was there to hold Tony and support him through the pain and then share in the small celebration that when Tony came out of it that nothing had changed and he still had his sight and new found health. Steve didn’t intervene when Natasha and Clint attacked him in the communal lounge for being so stupid, hitting him with pillows and calling him names in different languages until hugging him.

It took them the rest of the week to hunt down all the recipients of the fatal Extremis and administer the cure but it was a breath of relief knowing the threat had been contained. Three of the test subjects had been unable to regulate without further access to Extremis and Steve knew the civilian lives lost weighed heavily on Tony. Delivering the reversal drugs was cathartic in more ways than one.

By the end of the week Tony announced he knew where Bruce was but didn’t want to pursue him, and Steve did his best not to get in a fight with him over that. He felt that Bruce should face his actions but was doing his best to respect Tony and his choices. Whether he had a heated discussion with Clint over this at the shooting range or not didn’t matter. At least he was getting it out of his system.

After allowing Tony time to adjust, Pepper and Rhodey pulled Steve aside and had him take Tony out of the tower for the day. They spent the day walking around New York and browsing small bookstores, eating at a greasy diner where nobody approached them and then taking a small walk through Central Park where several people asked them for photos or signatures. It was the first time they had been out as a couple, since Tony had been taken and Steve was content to soak up the moment and plan for more outings just like this.

 When they arrived back at the tower, Tony nearly jumped out of his skin for from the surprise element of his party.

It was both cheesy and endearing that Pepper wanted to celebrate so wholeheartedly Tony’s return to health and his sight. Even if Clint did walk around dropping corny born again jokes every chance he got. It was nice to be able to sit back and watch Tony laugh with Rhodey, the sight warming him from the inside out. Not very often did something of this nature have a positive outcome.

Later that night when Steve was trying to coax Tony in to sleeping on the bed, it was all too easy for him to imagine not having this. Even if Tony hadn’t been taken for a second time, their time together would have been short and bittersweet as he succumbed to heart failure. With a pang of misery that had no place in this moment Steve stepped around the bed and pulled Tony in to his arms, muffling the squawk of shock his engineer let out in his chest as he held him.

‘What’s wrong?’ Tony asked as soon as his face was released, looking up at Steve with warm brown eyes and concern.

‘I was thinking that I could have lost you.’ Steve admitted, not even bothering to think about lying. ‘Everything that has happened, that could have happened…’ Tony nestled back in against him and allowed Steve to guide them both towards the bed and sink on to it together. ‘I guess I’m just appreciating what I have in front of me right now.’ And he was appreciating it, every day Tony improved that little bit more coming out of his shell more often now that he had his sight back to aid him in healing mentally. ‘If things had been just that little bit different I wouldn’t have this right now and it’s too easy letting my head go down that path.’

‘I’m here, not going anywhere.’ Tony promised as he settled against Steve’s chest a little more comfortably. They were propped up on the ridiculous amount of pillows, even if Tony didn’t need them all to breathe now they still kept showing up on his bed every day.

They spent more nights in the bed after that, even if some of them ended on the sofa after night terrors that shook them both to their cores they were making progress. Tony actively sought him out for physical affection now, crawled over Steve like a jungle gym during movie night and leant against him in the mornings while waiting for the coffee pot, kissed him senseless with reassurance after missions when they both needed the comfort. They never went further than kissing though and Steve was unwilling to press for more, satisfied for now with what he had.

It had come close to more after that first mission, when Tony had stepped out of the armour down in the workshop Steve had been waiting for him and seeing the look of exhilaration on Tony’s face and the windswept flush on his cheeks from the flight had warmed him to his core. Tony had willingly gone in to his arms, the force of their kissing knocking the strength from Steve’s knees as they stumbled towards the worn sofa and collapse down to it in a tangle of limbs.

While it took a level of self-restraint that Steve was still struggling to perfect, he had acquiesced when Tony had pulled away with a jerk after some heavy petting and grinding against each other and they had just basked in the afterglow of success and Tony’s excited babbling about being back in the suit, sharing in the pre-existing fears that he may never have flown the suit again. Steve was happy to settle with what they had, unwilling to push for more and go further.  

Clint spent so much time pranking them, and popping up when they least expected (and appreciated) it was highly unlikely they were bound to get that type of time alone anyway. Tony was at the point of threatening to fill Clint’s arrowheads with confetti though so Steve was holding on to hope.   

When Tony stopped showing up every night for their bed time routine Steve panicked.

‘You can’t look at it that way Cap; he isn’t running away from you.’ Natasha poured the homemade cocoa out of the pot in to mugs, sliding one across to Steve with a stern look until he took it, savouring the heat against his hands.

‘I thought we were getting somewhere.’ Steve mumbled in to his mug, not ashamed to hide his face or the resulting blush in his cocoa. This felt a little too much like a child being scolded by their parent with the way Natasha was looking at him.

‘You’re not looking at it objectively.’ Steve furrowed his brow in confusion as Natasha quirked a brow at him over her own mug before sighing and putting it down to give him her full attention. ‘If he’s straying from routine it means he’s comfortable enough in himself, in you both, to do that. Things are going back to normal.’ Steve just shook his head, struggling to understand.

Natasha just looked exasperated with him by now. ‘If he didn’t start pulling all-nighters again and going on workshop binges I would be more concerned, this is normal for him. Too much coffee and not enough sleep, doing a shit job at looking after himself…’ Natasha regarded him, waving her mug around to try and get the point across to him but it was still falling short. ‘That all American brain of yours sure is thick.’

‘Very funny.’ Steve gave her his best unimpressed look, still shame faced that he wasn’t grasping her point completely. ‘If he’s okay why is he going back to bad habits?’

Snorting into her drink and choking on the hot liquid, Natasha waved a hand in front of her face as she struggled to get her breath back between laughs. ‘Those bad habits make him who he is Steve; you’ve just gotten accustomed to someone else taking his place for the last few months.’ Natasha gave him a look before taking pity on him. ‘Don’t worry, give it a few more weeks and you’ll understand.’

It took closer to a few months before Steve realised what Natasha was going on about, a collection of small fights, two nights spent alone in his old apartment and a stern lecture from Rhodey before it actually sunk in. When it did it happened out of the blue, it was early morning but Clint and Natasha had just returned from a Shield mission and Steve was cooking breakfast for them all when Tony stumbled out of the elevator after a fifty-two hour binge on the Iron Man armour. Almost unconsciously Tony gravitated towards him, stockinged feet silent on the tiles as he padded over with his eyes at half-mast and leaned in to Steve’s back.

Grease slick arms slid around Steve’s waist and cold hands slithered under the material of his running shirt as a cold nose sniffled between his shoulder blades. Tony sighed almost reverently as his whole body weight dropped against Steve startling a laugh out of him as he spread his legs a little to accommodate the added weight. Tony shuffled along the stovetop with him like a second skin as he continued cooking breakfast until Steve gave up and turned around to face him.

They shared a slow languorous kiss until Clint started making gagging noises at them, earning a slap on the back of the head from Natasha. It wasn’t until their lips parted that he realised what Natasha meant, that this was the Tony he had originally fallen in love with and if they had to stuck to their carefully built routine then he wouldn’t get this sleepy, pliant engineer in his arms who was, upon closer inspection wearing socks covered in his shield. Steve smiled in to the next kiss before directing Tony towards a seat.

‘Jarvis how much coffee has he had?’ Tony scrunched his nose up at him.

‘In the last six hours sir has only consumed three cups, a minimal amount for him. Sir however does have a meeting in two hours.’ Finding that acceptable Steve reached to the top cupboard, pulled down the chibi Iron Man mug, and filled it with coffee and hazelnut creamer before sliding it in front of Tony who preened at him before snatching up the mug.

Before turning back to their breakfast Steve smiled softly as he saw Natasha’s hand snake out across the countertop and snag the handle of the mug and zip it towards herself, stealing a mouthful before Tony protested and took it back. These were the mornings he wanted to ingrain in his memory for as long as he lived, especially when Tony wandered back over, coffee in hand and cuddled up next to him again stealing kisses whenever he could with a hand at the small of Steve’s back.

Fin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who stuck with me through this! I appreciate every comment and kudos <3


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